Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How Do I Deal With This Situation Between Mother and Son?

Assalamu alaikum. Dear respected brothers and sisters, I have a problem. This problem has been holding me down for more than a year. But let me tell you what it is.

Last year, I been in a class of reading quran for 5 years straight, and within that time, a new teacher came and he started to not support anybody and rather put everyone down, calling them failures. On top of that, he hasn't been teaching us much though. Due to the fact that I've been in this class long and I know that if I leave the class at that time, I will memorize more. So I asked ny father to get me out and he told me to ask my mother. I asked my mother, and she told me I'll be out in a couple of months. A couple of months pass and then earlier, she tells me I'll leave in March. I got so upset and then she told me I'll leave in April, and then September. This was when I actually got to the point that I really hated my mother so much. I told her, she was lying 3 times, and then she told me that she wasn't. I forgot to even mention that one month, when I was so mad at her, she noticed and threatened me that if I don't go to class, I'll be kicked out of the house or moved to some different city that does a Quran class, without going home. On top of that, she choked me because I said "I didn't want to be in class." My father tried to talk to her, but she ended up brainwashing him into thinking that I'm acting crazy, and she even yelled at every other person in my family who I talked to about this issue for me to leave class. When I tell my dad now, he gets mad at me and thinks that I am joking.

I made dua for myself to leave class for 7 months straight, but Allah never answered my request. Unless I made dua for anything else, anything works but that very dua. I've been thinking about horrible thoughts ever since these months passes, and nobody I know can do anything. No matter how many times I keep repenting to make Allah make this dua come true, my mother always keeps making my life into a living hell.

Intentionally, I have no respect for my mother, but when I see her, I act like a hypocrite and pretend my life is fine, when its not. She never realizes that she destroyed most of my happiness and I wish I'd never see her anymore in my presence.

All this stuff has still been happening to me and my mother never realized what she did, and when I tell her, she desires not to listen. At this point, I don't know what to do left. How do I get Allah's attention to help me leave this situation or what can I do? I need it immediately as I can.


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1 Responses »

  1. Wallaykumasalaam Azami,

    Your religious education is your father's responsibility. That said, your father seems to have "delegated" it to your mother, who is not budging in her order. I am assuming you've already informed her of the new teacher and his negative-reinforcement-style teaching methods?

    Allah knows your intentions in wanting to leave the class, including your intention to memorize the Quran on your own. Have you informed your mother of your plan to continue reciting and memorizing the Quran on your own?

    Perhaps you could introduce a compromise to her...Like the two of you could decide on a day when, after practicing for a week, you recite it out loud for the whole family? That way she would see that you are learning it despite not being in the class. Just an idea that you might feel more comfortable with.

    May Allah ease this difficulty for you and bless you in you memorization of the Quran.



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