Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How do I ignore my brother?

girl crush

As Salam o alaikum ,

I'm a young girl and I live with my two brothers and my mother , my dad works overseas .

I did some bad things together with my two cousin sisters whom I am very and close to , and I immediately regretted doing them . I talked to a boy and me and my cousins were talking about some things . The very next day my brother calls me to the drawing room and my mother is with him , they got to know of everything . I didn't lie to them and told them the truth and told them that I regret doing something bad which I really really do . My brother blames me and one of my cousins and everything is clear . Then I told my cousins about it and they also feel bad for what we did . They apologise to my brother and he says that it's okay as long as we don't do it again but he replies rudely to one of my cousins ,for which she got angry but didn't say anything back to him .

Now , I have sincerely repented for what I had done even though it wasn't a major sin , but I repented sincerely with tears falling from my eyes cuz I regretted my actions .

After a week my brother finds out that I like my cousin brother (I know what's wrong so I haven't done anything and I don't even talk to him , I stay away from him but I still have feelings for him which my mom knows of and she says its natural and that she trusts me that I don't do anything bad and I've kept her trust ) and he has a discussion with me again and I tell him that nothing is going on between me and my cousin and that I haven't done anything . But he gets mad at me and tells me to take out my sim for some reason . I do it and then after a few days there's an emergency and I need it ,so he lets me use it and now today he asks me to give it back and take it back after a month. I tell him that I'm not doing anything wrong and that it's stupid so he says that I should be thankful to him that he ignored my mistake and he taunts me again and again for what I had done and tells me that because of my actions I'm supposed to listen to whatever he says and do whatever he wants . I felt bad do I did as he told and removed my sim from my phone .

I'm really sad when I have repented for what I had done , I had talked to a random stranger of the opposite gender on my phone and joked around with him for a few hours , which I have repented for really sincerely , why is he taunting me ? I'm human and I make mistakes , I don't deserve this , its between me and Allah for which I have cried while  dua and sincerely relented and I've not done it ever since and I dont plan on doing anything like this ever again .

My brother isn't a nice person , he just cares about himself and he is the most unforgiving person I have ever known . He hates my cousins and my aunts whole family , just because of a simple fight that happened 4 years ago . I want to stay away from him and I don't want to do anything with him . How am I supposed to just stop thinking about him and not care ?


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2 Responses »

  1. Snowfairy,

    You may not like your brother right now however, he loves you very much. If he didn't care about you, he could just turn a blind eye and do nothing about what transpired. You have broken trust and it will take some time to earn it back. Your father is overseas and your mom is doing the very best she can with all of you children. Know that your brother is doing right by you even though you may see his behavior as unfair or unjust. With your father overseas, your brother is the man of the house and as such he has a responsibility to you and your parents. Once you have regained the trust that you have broken, your brother might give your sim card back. Until then, know that you are one very lucky sister to have a brother who cares enough to do the right thing.


  2. Dear sister,

    I agree with Sister/Brother Najah. I am a brother of 1 sister and i would have done the same thing with my sister if she had done this.

    Please dont take your brother in a wrong way. he cares for you so he is trying to show you the right path.

    May Allah bless you and your family (Aameen)

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