How do i know if the first wife is doing magic?
Is someone doing black magic?
Question:
Salam Aleikum Brother Wael and sisters,
I have a disturbing question.. I am married as a second wife, and as. I had explained in my earlier post that my husband is so scared of his first wife that he cannot give my equal rights and the first wife knows clearly that he married me and we have two kids together.
My main concern is regarding the things. I have discovered during the period. I got married and till of recent.. I don't believe. in SHIRK at all, and am STRONGLY AGAINST anyone doing it, but. I have the following signs which sometimes makes me think that the first wife has been doing or still doing sihir to get her husband by herself.
She. strongly believes that. i have done sihir to her and that. I have sent her a jinn to destroy her marriage.. She also noted that she is after my blood and will make sure. I get crazy walking naked on the streets and. I will be. scared of my own shadow.. And whenever she sends me abusive messages she always mentions that I am doing shirk to her and it will not last, which off course is such a BIG LIE!
Another thing. I found was that. I found some letters. (in my husband's car). my co-wife's mother sent to her saying. so much stuff about Jinn and how one is afflicted by jinn, and was just too much information regarding jinns. At that point of time,. I realized there was something fishy going on.
Then the final thing that made me open my eyes that truely there must be something going on, is that one day my husband came to my house and he had this strange smoke smell, which was so UNUSUAL! He doesnt smoke and plus it was not even a cigarette smell. When. I asked him where that smell came from he just mumbled something and didn't want to say anything.
My husband has also confessed to one of his freinds that his first wife has been taking him to some place at the outskirts of the town to visit a Muta'wa (religious man) for prayers, am not quite sure what all that was for. Is it possible that this first wife could be visiting a witch doctor who keeps lyng to her that I. am doing shirk to her and my husband so that the witch doctor can make money for himself or?
Am really confused.. . How do. I know if she is. really doing shirk and how do. I protect myself from such things? I read the holy Quran, is that enough? Please advice.
- Samya
Sister Z's Answer:
Walaikumsalaam,
Sis, I think you may be a little confused as to the meaning of Shirk and Sihr.
When someone commits the sin of associating anyone/anything with Allah(swt) - this is known as SHIRK.
When someone does black magic - this is known as SIHR.
'How can you know if she is doing shirk?' I don't know. But I do think, you are putting your efforts into the wrong place by being suspicious and wondering about what your co-wife is doing.
'How can you protect yourself?' I have mentioned only a few things below. Recite Quran, but with conviction and faith in Allah.
Farz:
- Pray your Salaah five times a day
Highly Recommended:
- Recite Quran daily, even if just one page.
- Learn about your beautiful deen from the right sources. Mix with good sisters to give you a better environment.
- Try to stay in a state of wudu as much possible.
- Muhammed (saw) said: "Recite Surat Al-Ikhlas and Al-Mu`awwidhatain (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas). three times at dawn and dusk. It will suffice you in all respects.'' [Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].
This means that then one would not need any other recitation for the remembrance of Allah. Moreover, by virtue of these three Surah, Allah will protect the reciter from every dangerous thing. In other Ahadith, it is stated that after lying in the bed, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) used to recite these Surah, then blow on his hands and rub them over his body to the extent he could. Riyad-us-Saliheen "“ Hadith No : 1456.
- Muhammed (saw): If one recites Ayatul Kursi before going to sleep, Allah will send an Angel to come and look after you and protect you till the morning. His home, family and also neighbours will remain in safety until morning.
- Muhammed(saw) said: aRecite surah al Kafirun and then go to sleep after coming to its end, for it is a clearance from shirk'. [Abu Dawud 4396 & Hakim 1/565]
- Muhammed(saw) would not sleep until he recited Surah as Sajdah. [at-Tirmidhi 5/165; Hakim 2/412 & Dhahabi in Sahih al Jamiea (22/789)]
- Muhammed(saw): aWhoever when he wakes in the morning says aI seek refuge with Allah against the accursed satan' and then recited three verses from the last part of Surah al Hashr, will be assigned seventy thousand angels to pray for him until the evening, and should he die that day, he would have died a martyr'. [Ibn Ahmad, Darimi, Tirmidhi 5/182]
Bring all these things into your home and get your husband to join in in a loving way.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.
(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.
Sister Z, Editor
IslamicAnswers.com Marriage Advice
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Walaikumsalaam,
Sis, I think you may be a little confused as to the meaning of Shirk and Sihr.
When someone commits the sin of associating anyone/anything with Allah(swt) - this is known as SHIRK.
When someone does blackmagic - this is known as SIHR.
'How can you know if she is doing shirk?' I don't know. But I do think, you are putting your efforts into the wrong place by being suspicious and wondering about what your co-wife is doing.
'How can you protect yourself?' I have mentioned only a few things below. Recite Quran, but with conviction and faith in Allah.
Farz:
-Pray your Salaah five times a day
Highly Recommended:
- Recite Quran daily, even if just one page.
- Learn about your beautiful deen from the right sources. Mix with good sisters to give you a better environment.
- Try to stay in a state of wudu as much possible
- Muhammed (saw) said: "Recite Surat Al-Ikhlas and Al-Mu`awwidhatain (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas)
three times at dawn and dusk. It will suffice you in all respects.'' [Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].
This means that then one would not need any other recitation for the remembrance of Allah. Moreover, by virtue of these three Surah, Allah will protect the reciter from every dangerous thing. In other Ahadith, it is stated that after lying in the bed, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) used to recite these Surah, then blow on his hands and rub them over his body to the extent he could. Riyad-us-Saliheen – Hadith No : 1456.
- Muhammed (saw): If one recites Ayatul Kursi before going to sleep, Allah will send an Angel to come and look after you and protect you till the morning. His home, family and also neighbours will remain in safety until morning
- Muhammed(saw) said: ‘Recite surah al Kafirun and then go to sleep after coming to its end, for it is a clearance from shirk’. [Abu Dawud 4396 & Hakim 1/565]
- Muhammed(saw) would not sleep until he recited Surah as Sajdah. [at-Tirmidhi 5/165; Hakim 2/412 & Dhahabi in Sahih al Jamiea (22/789)]
- Muhammed(saw): ‘Whoever when he wakes in the morning says ‘I seek refuge with Allah against the accursed satan’ and then recited three verses from the last part of Surah al Hashr, will be assigned seventy thousand angels to pray for him until the evening, and should he die that day, he would have died a martyr’. [Ibn Ahmad, Darimi, Tirmidhi 5/182]
Bring all these things into your home and get your husband to join in in a loving way.
Thanks sis for the good advice. What i meant by shirk is that as per what i understand, doing sihr is an act of shirk. I pray 5 times a day hamdillah, but as for now i will also start focussing on the reading of Quran quite often also. thanks once again for the advice.
Asalaamualaikum Sis, JazakhAllah for considering my advice to you...
A Sheikh whom I learn from, gave me some very wise words. He said, 'patience/sabr' is the answer to alot of our difficulties and issues.
This is because when someone does or says something hurtful to us, naturally we may feel angry and emotional.
Any action we take at that time will be fuelled by our anger/emotions; hence we are allowing our decisions to be determined by the 'jaahil' behaviour of someone else.
So, its better to do 'nothing' at that time.
Instead, give yourself time to calm down. Then re-assess the situation. Now think about what you should do, if anything.
It may be that infact, its better not to give that other person any attention - in your case your co-wife. If she wants to make false accusations against you, ignore them. It wont hurt you unless you allow it to hurt you.
Of course if it affects your relationship with your husband, then try to talk to him about it, but try to do so without becoming angry.
For now, just try to focus on yourself, your relationship with Allah and your husband.
Thanks once again for the advice, but one thing probably i forgot to mention is that there is no way i can practice this with my husband, meaning making him understand and guide him towards reading more of Quran because he hardly is with me, he is so scared of his 1st wife eventhough his 1st wife knows very well that we are married with 2 kids. He never shares the days and nights and never gives me my equal rights as a muslim wife, just coz hes too scared of the 1st wife and doesnt want to disappoint her, so i end up alone almost everyday just crying to myself on the praying mat, praying for God to open his eyes and realize what he has been doing and to rectify himself. its been almost a week now i havent spoken to him or seen him, he keeps calling me over the phone but i dont answer coz am too hurt the way he abandons me and am far too young to go through all this. Ive tried to tell him to give my divorce but he's hesitant and says that he loves me and cant leave me and always keep telling me that he will share the days soon, but that soon now has become like 4 years and still he's not sharing the days, thats why i thought maybe it could be the sihr the 1st wife has always been nagging me about. But above all this, i guess i will stick to Sabr as u adviced and more prayers and reading of quran. And InshAllah, Allah knows best. Thanks sis
Sis,
When I say do sabr, I mean do sabr when responding to the jaahil actions and words of other people. Try not to respond in a state of emotion. It will only do you harm to lose your temper as it will mean you are not in control.
But if your husband is not fulfilling his duties towards you, you have every right to demand that he does.
Ignoring him will not solve the issue. Seeing as you have already spoken to him about it and there have been no positive changes, maybe you should tell him that want to separate from him until he can start treating you and your children properly.
The thing is Sis, while you continue to allow him access to you whenever he wishes, he will not change. he knows he's got you there as and when he pleases. Don't allow yourself to be treated as a doormat.
Do something about this, so have an action plan in mind.
- Tell your husband how strongly you feel about this situation. You feel neglected and upset. Your children need their father around. You will not put up with this anymore.
- Tell him that you will separate from him until he can start giving you and your children the time, money and love that you are need and deserve. Tell him exactly what you expect from him.
- Set a time limit.
- Use this time to strengthen yourself by coming closer to Allah and by developing yourself in things that you enjoy doing. If there is no change in your husband's behaviour by this time, then Sis - you need to ask yourself if you want to continue living like this. Because you and your children deserve more.
I don't know what the circumstances of your husband's marriage to you and to the other wife are. Were both these marriages conducted with openess and honesty? Was the first wife consulted before you married this man? All these things make a difference Sis. Maybe if you could tell us more about this, it may help us understand your situation better.
As for Sihr on your husband - Sis, I really don't know what the other wife is doing. But if this situation of your husband not fulfilling your rights has been on-going for four years, I'm sure he has more responsibilty in this than you want to admit to yourself.
Thanks for the response sis. Yes the marriage was done with openess and both our families know about it, including his 1st wife. Im not sure if he consulted his 1st wife before he married me, but when he married me, he had told me that his 1st wife would have no problems with this, coz as per what he told me is that his 1st wife is so religious and understanding. Only to realize later that she is not even an inch religious because if she was, she wouldnt threaten the man and blackmailing him not to be with me, coz she would know that it would be haram to refrain a man from his wife even if am the 2nd one. And as per my understanding, during the day of judgement he will be punished severly for denying my rights as a wife, of which the 1st wife doesnt care that she is literally driving the husband to hell. Ive tried talking to him calmly and sometimes strongly, told him how i feel and how it affects the kids, but he just hugs me and says he will share the days, but ends up going back to his 1st wife and not sharing the days. His freinds, brothers, mother have all talked to him explaining to him how much he is opressing me and it will go back to him in some way or the other, but still he will accept that he is wrong, and then again back to square 1, he doesnt give my equal rights. Thats why i tried to separate from him and started ignoring his calls. I really dont understand what he really wants in life, he wants me but he doesnt want to be with me, and doesnt want to leave me, its like am in the middle of nowhere. its really confusing sis.
salam i pray that all is well and your situation has been solved, i wish i had read this message before. to find out if someone done jaddu on you,There are numerous ways that a Taweez can be rendered useless. The proper way to destroy a Taweez is to tear it into four pieces. That is, tear it once vertically in the middle. Then tear the two pieces horizontally so that it becomes four pieces. Read Allahu Samad 101 times on the torn pieces and dispose the 4 pieces in flowing water, such as a river. This will destroy the Taweez and its effects completely, Insha Allah.
If anyone suspects that they are under the influence of 'black magic', or an evil spell then they can follow the following guidelines to overcome the influence and effects:
Read from the Quran, Chapter 82 called Infitaar Cleaving Asunder, eight (8) times, OR Chapter 99 called Zilzal Earthquake, from the Quran eight (8) times before going to sleep.do it for 11 days.i hope this help.
secondly i am second wife i never got my rights and nothing i got two kids and my husband is so scared of his first wife. during the easter holidays i was ill for 3weeks, and my husband not once help me, he just stood there walk out. when he called i was talking to him suddenly his phone got cut off.i ran so many times, but no answer.then my husband called the next day saying he lost his phone, but i told him it still rings but he knew he wouldnt tell me.then the whole weekend i was so ill that i could not look after my kids, my husband had promise to take us to outing, my cousin son die so i thought we go to our cousin place, i waited all day, but no answer, when i tried his phone it was on voice mail.the next day i ran out of foods we had nothing and i couldnt go out, so i had to force myself, and there my husband with his other wife, i was so angry and i just walk back.my kids saw their dad, he couldnt even pick the kids up nothing.so when i got home he came saying he sorry i was like forget it, so he promise to take out tomorrw.samething happen no phone call nothing, so the next day i went to his place, becuase i needed help, i was ill( pregnant) and the kids not seen their dad.and cried for him. when i got there he came out and i ask for help, but he couldnt help me, he said he didnt have the car keys nothing taken off from him, i have help him, and in all his debts and paid for the car and yet he stood there.his other wife screaming and shouting saying all sorted, but i couldnt believe my husband was so controlled under his other wife. he promise to call but this time he called knowing that i could nt call back, i went the next day this time his bro( who work in the mosque) came and push me and punch me in the arm and pushing my kids out from the pram.i was ashocked my husband stood he didnt even stood up for me. the next day my husband come and playing happy family, and enter. the whole day i was angry he only came to shut my mouth how much i have help him.so i went the next again, this time his brother push me in the arm, throwed my kids and my husband in the house upstair, listening to all this i ran so many times i called him, but no he didnt come.it was all planned to get me back and my husband stood there not even care about his kids, as a wife you do not have any rights, tell me who out there out their rights, nothing.i was a shocked called the police i didnt want to i wanted to talked to my husband, they arrest his brother, he was out.because my husband and his other wife changed the stories, now he said he do not want anything to do with us, nothing and i got to move on, statement.
from this day it been 24days no phone, no helps nothings,we saw him in town he was eating away my kids have not eaten for days and they cry everyday for him, now i have told them he dead, never ask for him, he never cared. few weeks ago, my friend ask someone and we found out that, a jaddu done, on foods, clothes, sweet things, and plant. my husband house was stinking away of shit smells, when i look up this mean that a jinn has enter into the house and jaddu done, the stuff person told us, no one would known him, they knew what clothes, foods he eat all that stuff. now i have given up, becuase there no point why should i fight back i cant, i have been praying but now i am fed up that why, if your husband call you ask him to come over and make him stayed.that your rights, i was weak i could not do anything i did everything to help him, but now his ear and eyes are close i am not going to beg for my kids mercy no way.ALLAH his give equal rights, but where taht right.
Salam sister i pray dat Allah conquer yr enemies.am in a similar situation but in my own case is my daugther dat witches are disturbing only Allah can rescues me.am using dis oportunity to beg for muslims brother and sisters to pray for me nd my family to conquer. Jazakalahu khaira.
how are witches disturbing your daughter. please explain and give details.
Hi,
Well, magic probably doesn't exist.
So don't worry.
Tell the crazy lady to go away.
There is no evidence for jinns.
salam, i dont know if you are muslim or not, but there is a Chapter in the Holy Qur`an called. The Jinn, so that is evidence fo jinn
ok salam sis,
i am sorry for the pain and anger you are feeling. i am apologize for everybody who has put you in this situation. do you have family or freinds that you enjoy where you could spend a feww days with or have come over? go enjoy a good time with some one you like.
from what little info i have, i would not trust or stay with a person like your husband. i don't know if this was your first marriage, and if you were young and had ideals of being two good muslim wives who would be good to each other. but marriage arouses feelings of great jealousy in even the best of women. he might have not consulted his first wife about the marriage. look at it from her shoes, maybe all that jinn stuff was because she really believed you are doing black majic to her to take her husband away. imagine being the first wife of a man, the only one to have sexual relations with him, the only one to have time and attention, and then pops in another woman. it's much more convenient to blame the other woman than your own man. mashallah you have taqwa, but i don't know about the other two people in this marriage. she might not be a good person and controlling, but he doesn't seem like the best husband ever either. it could be that where he was raised he doesn't really know how to treat a woman. do you have any idea how his dad treated him mom? maybe he was raised in a completely different environment from you? it's a good idea to make freinds with people who are religious and have good husbands, he might get inspired. i suggest when he comes, look happy, make good food, sit with him, hug him, hold him, and have a good fun time. be cheery. he might just want to start hanging around more. if he fears allah, show him the verses and hadith or tell him the ones that are related to not giving equal time between wives.
do fatiha and the last three surahs on yourself and your kids daily, read quran everyday. it could very well be black majic that is keeping him away. on him too when he comes.
recite quran every single day, trust me, you and your household will be happier. everyday.
go to the library if you can, some good authors are Susan Forward, Dr. Phillip McGraw, Dr. Laura Schelessinger, and Harriet Braiker. read Harriet Braiker's Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. I think Susan Forward has a book called Emotional Blackmail.
go out to the masjid and make freinds there, or atleast make your salah there on weekends or whenever you have time on weeknights. Volenteer to help for the events there, go to halaqas.
start doing what you enjoy. you might become more fun to be around once you are actually happy.
and please seek some counseling from a good muslim counselor, psychologist, social worker. some imam, any body. in islamonline.net, they actually have have people who are qualified counselors, you can ask your question there. that's the only thing i like about that website.
one more thing i will add, you have every right to ask for divorce when you are being deprived of your rights for so long. please go to a good sheikh and share your situation. tell him everything. this is not backbiting, you are seeking advice. when it comes to the matter of divorce or mistreatment from your spouse, your intention is to let the sheikh know everything so he can advice you well.
Hi Anonymous,
Thank you very much for the advice, really touched me. Actually i have done to the best of my ability,cooked him good food, treated him well even for the few hours he was around and everything, but still he will keep making false promises that "he is going to share the days", give me my equal rights as a second wife and treat me well, but then goes for weeks and never comes home. I am really torn apart. One thing he also does that i hate is, when he stops coming home, i get angry and i also stop answering his calls (he only calls wanting to know where i am), when i stop answering his calls (even after he knows that he is the one in the wrong ) , he gets angry and comes home like once in 2 weeks, forces me to have sex with him, more like rapping me, coz i cry and shout in pain while he is busy satisfying himself. Once he gets satisfied, he leaves the house again. (he justs acts like an animal, staghfirullah). I hate what he and his 1st wife has turned my life into. The issue is also that where i am living at the moment, women are not granted divorce easily by the sheikh or court, for a man offcourse it is very easy. i ave literalily begged him to divorce me, but still he doesnt want to, it seems like he is enjoying torturing me, weneva i talk to my mum she just cries and hates him for what he is doing to me, even his own mum (my mom in law) knows wats happening and she is on my side, she hates wat his son is doing, but everyone is scared to involve themselves coz at the end of the day it will be upon him to grant the divorce. He even once told me clearly the more i get angry when he doesnt share the days the more he will not come to my house, meaning i should just abide by him living in his1st wife's house happily giving them everything, when i should just keep quiet, answer his calls and obey him. Is this really fair? i find it so unislamic!! he is ddoing totally against religion and have told him like million times using Quran and hadiths. Anyway am in so much pain and i think hurt beyond repair, i dont know wat to do anymore.
i could tell you with a 100% certanity.. shes not doing magic; no one does magic, not even magicians, please come out of the dark ages and stop believing in fairy tales
Again , it's sad to hear that Muslims in the Middle East are as far away from Islam as the moon from the earth.
To me, it sounds as if your husband isn't able to act like a real man, with responsibility, understanding
that he has authority over his wives. He must not tolerate the behaviour of his first wife- and in a
good relationship, neither a husband fears his wife nor the wife the husband. Although I have to say
that the first version is quite uncommon...I don't believe in Sihr, I only believe in Jinn, but not
in a destructive or negative context. they live on this earth, some of them do ibada and there
are good and bad ones among them. I agree with sister Z that you should calm down and just let
her talk. Sometimes people try to destroy us and take our smile away- but we don't have to let it.
You control your actions, not other people.
hi aslamu alakum my friend(my friend is muslim) n me started doin magic n were both muslims we knew magic is haram but we did it anyway n now im scared n i wanna be a true muslim can anyone tell my a duaa or somthin cuz i really want to become a true muslim
SubhanaAllaah, magic is one of the greatest sins in Islam, turn to Allaah in repentance sincerely and abandon magaic. it will only get yo the wrath of Allaah, and you can never succeed with it. you never know when death will aproach you, so repent NOW!!!
Here people deny believing in magic, it is fine and not objected.
When I say come out of blind beliefs and superstitions, my whole comments get deleted 🙂
Subhaan Allah 🙂