Islamic marriage advice and family advice

how do muslims marry a non-muslim?

father gives daughter away wedding

I have only a few questions to ask. Please, I need the answers straight to the point, as I know what the quran says and what Allah says about marriage between a muslim man and a christian woman. I read all the posts regarding my post, but all the admins and other people answer on their post about whether it is allowed or not, but none of them even saw the question about how to marry- meaning how to marry that christian girl. All of the other people's answers are about whether  it is allowed or not, so please I request to all who will answer this question to be straight to the point, one by one. Please.

1. How does someone get married to a christian girl, as she is not agreeing to convert to islam? I want to know what procedure do I follow to make her halal for me when she doesn't want to be muslim. What procedure does islam give us to make the christian girl be our halal wife?

As for country law,  we don't need to register the nikah. We will only register the contract of marriage between us as a muslim/catholic marriage. I am going to do a nikah just to make her halal for me, and our marriage wil be registered in her country as a man married to woman. That's it for the worldly things, but I want to make her a halal wife for me so I need a procedure to make her a halal wife for me. Please describe the orignal and real way of islam to marry a christian girl (baptist).

2. I told her, "first you have to marry me through the way of the islamic method. Then I will marry you the same way as the christian way". So after I marry her the way you guys tell me, am I allowed in islam to marry her also the way of her christian method, so that she is also sure that I am her husband according to christianity?

3. In islam when we do nikah, we must fix some dowry (mahar) for our wife that we decide mutally. But as for my case, my wife will not be muslim...but of course she will be my wife because we married according to the way of islam. So do I need to pay her dowry (mahar)?

I just told her that we muslims are allowed to marry christians, so she must have to perform the marriage the way of our islam- the way of a muslim- so that she can be my wife and I can be her husband. It's just for me to make sure that she is my wife, and I would follow her way of marriage so that she can be sure that I am her husband, and she agreed with it.

Thanks, these questions are very simple, and I need simple answers please,  if none of you mind. I hope everyone will be happy and get the blessing of ALLAH. Thanks.

-adnan


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6 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I appreciate you clarifying your questions. I understand that you already know that a muslim man may marry a christian woman, you're just trying to find out how the actual marriage takes place.

    Very simply, when a muslim man marries -regardless of whether he's marrying a jew, christian, or muslim sister- it's the same process. There must be two witnesses, and you must give her a dowry/mahr (and yes, you will still need to give this to her even though she's not Muslim). Her consent must be obtained, and if she has never married her wali must also consent. Since the woman is a Christian, and her father could not act as her wali if he's not muslim, then the imam or someone else she trusts who is Muslim must act as the wali.

    As far as the issues of registering the nikkah, that would follow whatever the governing laws in your country are. You can still marry by nikkah whether you marry according to the state or not. Doing so is enough to make her halal to you.

    Where the problem begins is with your promise that you would marry her according to the "christian method". This is not something permissable to do, and depending on the type of ceremony she requests it may even be blasphemous on your part. I'm sorry to have to tell you but you will have to go back and tell this woman that though she must marry according to Islam to be lawful to you, it is against your religion to marry her in a christian wedding ceremony.

    That being said, maybe some of the things that she especially wanted from her own ceremony can be incorporated into the nikkah. Does she want to wear a big, white, pretty wedding dress? Then let her. Does she want to have a reception with a yummy four tiered wedding cake? Then try to make it happen. A lot of times non-muslim women mostly care about the trappings of the wedding, and not the actual technicality of it, so there may be aspects you can compromise and fulfill her preferences. It might be good to tell her that part of a Muslim wedding is the walima, which is what she would understand the wedding reception to be. Perhaps if you let her fully plan that, providing she agrees there is no alcohol or dancing etc, then she can be satisfied to forego the christian ceremony itself.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • asslamoalikum
      my islamic brother plz dnt b blind in love that u not considering future.she dnt want to b muslim today tommrow if she dnt want to give islamic education to kids and she will follow jesus then so plz carefully take decsion.best luck for u

      • Salaams,

        I don't think that is a fair assessment. I was a Christian when I married my second husband (who was Muslim), and I converted to Islam three days later. That was nearly 11 years ago. You never know who Allah is calling to the truth, or by what means.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • But still, it is a risk worth not taking. We have enough Muslimahs in this world. Some so called liberated and modern Muslimahs have started marrying non-Muslim men and are justifying their act. Such inter-religious marriages will weaken Islam. Few generations later Children born out of such marriages will have less Imaan or no Imaan at all. They will consider all gods and all religions as same. This has happened already in Russia and other former soviet republics. Are we not going to learn any lessons?

          • I totally agree marrying a Muslim is better because some people are not worth taking the risk for. From my own experience I see that happening all ready and people are pressurised to convert let alone choosing to convert because of the marriage or its something they feel strongly towards the religion.

          • islam says not to look down upon any religion... So i doubt or more of your lines

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