Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How should my husband behave around female non-Muslim relatives?

muslimah

Dear all,

I have a query about interaction with non Muslim relatives. My husband's Aunty (his Mum's sister) had converted to Hinduism and married a Hindu man. From that union they have daughters who are naturally Hindu. My question i:  is there a limit as to how a Muslim man can interact with his non Muslim female cousins?

It is relatively easy when it comes to us Muslims. We are generally taught that we  have come of age, we should be mindful of how we interact with cousins/relatives of the opposite gender. But what about non Muslims? I am worried because I have seen how they interact with him, touching, sitting of the same bed in the same room etc, morever when they are not dressed in  a proper fashion.

We always say that a wife must be mindful of how she behaves around other men, even if they are your mahrem but what about a man? Do we as a wife have the right to demand that they stop interacting in such a shameful manner? I am uncomfortable with this because they are non Muslims therefore they do not have the same decorum rules as us.

 

W'salam.


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2 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    The guidelines of Islam apply to your husband whether others are Muslim or not. He is not exempted from Islamic behavior just because those who are in his company are non-Muslim. There is no distinction made for how a man should act around pubescent non-mahrem females based on whether they are Muslim or not.

    In fact, because they are not covering as a Muslim sister would and are otherwise ignorant on how to conduct themselves with adab, he should be taking extra care to show propriety with his cousins even moreso than the regular standard that he would with sisters. Under no circumstances should he be touching them unnecessarily, sitting alone with them or in a bedroom with them.

    Women and men alike are held to these standards. If he is expecting you to act one way while he acts another, that is wrong of him. It doesn't matter that they are family relatives, as they are still non-mahram and marriagable to him. It doesn't matter that they are Hindu, because as I said before the responsibility for correct adab is on him, not them.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Asalaam alaykum,

    It is relatively easy when it comes to us Muslims. We are generally taught that we have come of age, we should be mindful of how we interact with cousins/relatives of the opposite gender. But what about non Muslims? I am worried because I have seen how they interact with him, touching, sitting of the same bed in the same room etc, morever when they are not dressed in a proper fashion.

    All these actions are either forbidden (touching) or makrooh to look at (improperly addressed) for him to be engaging these people.

    Sitting on the same bed? This implies that they are in a private room? This is terrible behavior and your right to be concerned is justified.

    We always say that a wife must be mindful of how she behaves around other men, even if they are your mahrem but what about a man?

    A man is held to the same standards in practically every instance. Unless someone can mention an exemption I am not aware of outside of a life and death situation.

    Do we as a wife have the right to demand that they stop interacting in such a shameful manner? I am uncomfortable with this because they are non Muslims therefore they do not have the same decorum rules as us.

    Yes, you can tell your relatives to act accordingly around the both of you, as many Muslims I know do the same, but the real concern is that your husband does not seem to measure his actions in kind.

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