Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to convince Allah to accept my duas for marriage?

Hands raised in dua

Salam. I am 21 years old and have liked this girl since 8 years now. She is a good friend of mine and I have told her as well but she does not feel the same about me. However, I can't seem to move on.

I daily pray to Allah to make us the best for each other for this world and for the hereafter, and to help me marry her. I have no intentions for a haram relationship, my only intention is to marry her and live my life with her as good mo'mins, for which I make regular dua. I make dua to Allah to make her and me both pious muslims and grant us a happy, long, and religious life together.

However, I feel no change at all and I fear that she might get married in a year or two, while I'll still be completing my studies by then. I have no issues in having a nikah with her despite not being well settled by then because I really want to marry her.

May be I am not being patient, since my dua is for marriage, that would mean that no change is required as of now and things may work out when the time is right. But I am very worried about this because I feel I make a complete dua to Allah, asking for a halal relationship with her where she is also happy, where I am best for her and she is best for me in this world and in the hereafter, and where our marraige is best for us and for our families, yet I don't see a change in the context that she still does not feel anything for me.

I am not a perfect muslim, and neither is she. But I constantly pray to Allah to help us become good pious muslims. Please suggest what I should do, how to make my dua better in order for it to be accepted, and how to be patient if I am being impatient. Because I feel that I am asking for something that is halaal since I clearly mention in my dua that I only want to marry her. Please do respond to me, I've been in love with this person since 8 years now and I am very worried about this. Jazak Allah.


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8 Responses »

  1. Asalamulaikum,
    My dear brother I truely respect your love and ur goodness just to remind you bro Allah already created our life partner from heaven way before he sent us to this world. If the girl you love is written in ur destiny no matter how long it takes she will be yours. Just have faith in Allah. Allah already has a plan for you just wait for you suprise. What ever happens in this life bro happens from the will of Allah if Allah wills she will be yours. Be patient and don't break down wait and see what Allah gives u or had planned for you. You sound like a very sweet brother I pray Allah connects her soul with ur loving soul

  2. your iman is weak it lacks knowledge. you need guidance from ulema...!!If you want Allahs help we have to look at ourselves! Do we keep from haram eg. food movies music etc.. Do we pray 5 times a day which is farz. Do we pray at mosque. Read quran daily help or visit people for the sake of Allah are we good terms with our parents......most of all we must learn patience.

  3. Your basic problem is that she doesn't love you. I recommend trying to improve who you are in terms of a person to see if she finds you more interesting.

    There's a good chance that she may still not have chemistry with you. It's not anything you're doing wrong it's just compatibility in terms of physical appearance and personality. It could be you're personality isn't great, it could be that she doesn't find you physically attractive. Just try your best to improve, if she likes you she likes you. If she doesn't then there is no advantage for you in being with someone that cannot appreciate what you offer.

    • Soory but can u elaborate personality incompatibility.?

      • It's having a different set of values, set of hobbies, how you handle situations, and what you like to do. Let's say you favor quality over quantity, you buy really expensive things but few of them, whereas your wife buys a lot of cheap things of low quality. Let's say you like splurging on high quality food and spend your money there, your wife likes to spend on vacation and buys everything else cheap. You like hiking at 6am in the morning, she likes sleeping in and staying at home.

        Then there's how you handle anger, how funny you are, how forgiving you are, do you work as a team or do you dictate how things should be. Are you lazy or are you ambitious. Are you so ambitious that you're never home and spend 60+ hours at work. There are a lot of different factors that go into a match and reasons why someone doesn't feel a romantic connection. There is no wrong answer except when you like being single and are in a marriage.

  4. Try to pray tahajud and keep on praying
    In shaa Allah you will get her.

  5. Masha'Allaah! Really good question you have put forward. Brother, first thing you got to learn is to never underestimate God. You said that you are doing everything to have her in your life. But it seems that nothing is working out. It is not like that. Your prayers are answered every time. But you are unaware. Because you are human. You can't change "Will" of the Almighty Allaah. What ever has been decreed for you will soon happen. Only prayer can change it. Since, you said you are praying a lot. And why the answer is not coming then at that point you are wrong. It is coming every time. Ask her parents and if she denies then no need to be sad. You will find some other girl 100 times better than her. Relax don't rush brother. Think about it.

    Best regards,

    Allaah Knows the best.

  6. I was wondering if you're ever asked her what she likes in a guy? Maybe that will help in figuring out what you can do to get her to like you.

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