Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to stop myself from watching/thinking bad stuffs?

I cant seem to master my thoughts

Assalamualaikum,

I've tried myself to stop myself from watching bad stuffs and I've succeeded, but at times I just can't control it and I watch. I'm 16 years old now. Please help me. I want to strengthen my Eeman and stop myself from watching ,thinking about all these bad stuffs (nudity, sex etc.).

Aadil.

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20 Responses »

  1. Asalamoalaikum brother,

    I’m so glad to read that you want to make amends and realize that you are sinning. Many boys your age do not necessarily realize the severity of their actions.

    I’m not going to say it’s easy, especially since there is so much exposure in society with regards to sexuality, nudity, promiscuity, etc and you are in an age where hormones are pumping through your body (hence it has been recommended in Islam to get married asap, once one can do so).

    There are some precautions that you can take to prevent the escalation of these desires. Firstly, try to remain amongst people; don’t spend a lot of time alone. When you’re amongst people, it’ll be hard for you to find ways to search up these things, think about them, etc. You’ll also be busy so your mind will be preoccupied with other things.

    Secondly, watch Islamic documentaries regarding this spiritual disease. There are numerous videos on youtube from different scholars who beautifully explain how this disease can affect your present and your future. The next time you think about doing something haram, you’ll be reminded of the severity of the sin but also the practical damages it’ll cause in your life.

    Thirdly, always remember Allah swt can see you. Imagine you’re engaging in something haram and shameless, Allah swt sees that. What if you die while engaging in such an act? Can you imagine what an unfortunate state of death that would be? We don’t know when our lives will end, maybe in a minute, in a second, in a month, years, etc. So always be prepared. Do you think you’ll be able to face your lord when you die? How will you be able to confront him on yaw-mal-qayyamat in front of the whole world (where your sin will be openly exposed)?

    Fourthly, whenever engaging in such activities imagine how your family would react if they caught you? How embarrassed and ashamed you’d feel. I’m not trying to guilt you in so that you stop what you’re doing. I’m trying to make this practical for you because any of these things can happen.

    Lastly, you may not realize the long-term damaging effects certain actions can cause, such as pre-mature ejaculation, sexual dysfunction, lack of pleasure in marital life, unrealistic expectations of physical intimacy in marriage, etc. You really don’t want to go down that road. All you’ll be is disappointed.

    Try to fast as well (the hunger will curb your desire to watch such things because if our basic physiological need of food is not met, we don’t desire other things until we’ve met that need), recite Quran (with meaning), play sports (it’s healthy for your body, it’ll tire you down as well), engage in a hobby that you like, etc. In a nutshell, keep yourself busy till you get in bed at night at which time you’ll be too tired to want to watch or do anything else.

    It’s not going to be easy but at the same time, it’s your duty to control your nafs (desires) and it’s not impossible to do so.

    May Allah swt give you the strength to overcome this spiritual disease, ameen.

  2. Helping sister,
    Good and well-rounded answer.
    May Allah (swt) bless you with good things in life and the hereafter.

    🙂

  3. Aadil, one of the great dangers of pornography is that it leads inexorably down the path to zinaa.

    With regards to the zinaa, please see our series on zinaa:

    The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1

    As far as the porn, we have answered questions from people with this problem many times. Please see some of these:

    How to get rid of porn and masturbation

    My husband is addicted to online porn

    I am a girl addicted to sex websites, I feel guilty

    Questions about love, sex and pornography

    Religious father has turned to porn and prostitutes

    My father views pornography on the internet – what can I do about it?

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. You can think about the fact that pleasures beyond our wildest imaginations await us for eternity? We will achieve these pleasures only if we will control ourselves in our this short life.

    This world is just an illusion with all it's trappings. We can be trapped by all the glitter and glamour that it holds. But when we remember our Creator, we adjust our way of thinking and realize that this world and all it holds is but temporary.

    We as Mu'mins should ask ourselves how are we preparing for the Aakhirah?

    We should guard ourselves against any illegal enjoyment in this world and always embrace the idea of our journey to the Aakhirah.

    ALLAH TA'ALA mentions a verse in the Qur'aan Sharief in which Musa (Alaihis Salaam) said to his nation, "O my people, Indeed this worldly life is but a swift and passing enjoyment. And definitely the life in the Hereafter is the Everlasting Abode". (Qur'aan 40: 39)

    And remember always that the best of provisions is Taqwa (Fear and consciousness of ALLAH TA'ALA)". This is how our pious predecessors lived their lives in order to be successful in the Aakhirah.

    Beloved Aadil : Be concerned about your Aakhirah. Keep yourself busy in doing something constructive, and you will you will reap the benefit tomorrow.

    Whatever good you do on ALLAH'S earth today you shall see it tomorrow in the Aakhirah. ALLAH, Most High, tells us in the Qur'aan Sharief, "Thus the person who does an atoms worth of good (today) shall see it (tomorrow in the Aakhirah), and the one who does an atoms worth of evil (today) shall see it (in the Aakhirah tomorrow)". (Qur'aan 99: 7-

  5. Salamu'alaik,

    Brother Aadil, this usually happens as a result of bad company. Have a check on your friends and cut ties with any of them who pose a danger to your Eemaan and your Islaam. Have friends who would remind you about Allah, His Messenger, and The Day of Ressurrection, on which, we WILL have to meet our Lord. Will you be pleased to meet Him while He is Angry with you? No Muslim who loves Allah would!
    Whenever you have such thoughts, seek refuge in Allah from ash Shaitaan ar Rajeem and resort to Allah's Remembrance through various Du'aas that appear in the Qur'aan and the Sunnah. You can find a collection of this here: http://www.islamhouse.com/p/39062 or you can get one (hard copy) from an Islamic Book Store.

    Just trust in Allah and keep in mind that it is not as difficult as you think it is, because Allah says:

    ( Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak) انَ كيد الشيطان كان ضعيفا

    Further, Allah says in Surah Nisa':

    118. Allah cursed him. And he [Shaitan (Satan)] said: "I will take an appointed portion of your slaves;

    119. Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah." And whoever takes Shaitan (Satan) as a Wali (protector or helper) instead of Allah, has surely suffered a manifest loss.

    120. He [Shaitan (Satan)] makes promises to them, and arouses in them false desires; and Shaitan's (Satan) promises are nothing but deceptions.

    121. The dwelling of such (people) is Hell, and they will find no way of escape from it.

    122. But those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism) and do deeds of righteousness, We shall admit them to the Gardens under which rivers flow (i.e. in Paradise) to dwell therein forever. Allah's Promise is the Truth, and whose words can be truer than those of Allah? (Of course, none).

    End Quote...

    Now decide what you want, brother.
    May Allah Help you and me
    Aameen
    Wassalamu'alaikum
    Muhammad Waseem

    • Just to mention: The collection of Du'as I mentioned above is called "Fortress of the Muslim - Hisn al Muslim"

  6. Me too I cant stop the satan catches me at my weakest. I want to prevent watching this bad stuff and stop the satan whispering bad stuff to me. As this is runing myself and my eman

  7. Salam.

    The immediate solution is to install some parental control software on your computer and have someone set the password on them so that you will not be able to go to the sites any longer. I've used this approach for someone I know and Alhamdulillah, the results have been amazing. I suggest you use "Qustodio" or "K9 Web Protection" because these are free and excellent at blocking haram content. Also, become closer to Islam as this will help you flush out your mind from the impure images. InshAllah, you will be able to overcome this fitna in no time.

  8. Thanks alot this answer helps alot may allah give you peace ameen. ya allah please forgive me and give me the strengh to stop doing bad things ameen .

  9. JazakAllah Khair

  10. Aoa how can I stop my pre mature ejacuation ?plzz help

  11. Please give me a suggestion to avoid see bad videos and things this is my problem

  12. Assalamualaikum I am really a God fearing person, and I also have a soft heart which Is i sympathize and forgive easily. I help the needy ones wholehatedly but then I have a very bad habit of commiting graet sins , which I always return to All in tears to forgive me but I still find myself going back to that same sin uncountable times. I never enjoyed having sex but I only do it to please who so ever am dating it got to a point that I got pregnant and I couldn't help but to Abort it. After that I regreted n i promise Allah never to return to that same mess again. I kept to my iman but at the long run I broke the promise again I began to have sexual intercos which I was never happy with after a period of time I told my boyfriend I cant do it any more he tried to convince me but I broke up with him. I repented again and I was later in a serious relationship wish made me love my religion the most . cos my partner is a very good Muslim he always advice me to follow the path of Allah I was so happy with him until I came across another guy who was able to confuse me with his devilish love approach which I also fall for him too. But then he asked me for a sex which I refused at first n then letter I realise I was already having sex with him. Which also led me to getting pregnant again. I regreted and hated him. I decided to keep it but then seeing my mother in pain was tempting me to commiting suicide. But then my mum decided that I had to remove it. I couldn't tell her no. Seeing the condition she is in i had to abort it again. But then I have been in pain after that I regreted and I always pray and beg Allah for forgiveness but I still feel guilty like my prayers will not b answered cos of this great sins. But right now m ready to give my whole life to Allah. But what can I do to feel so close to Allah and to become a very good muslima till I die. Cos I was to die with Allah in me. How can I do please i don't feel safe anymore. But I still believe there is only one God that is Allah and Also his messenger Mohammad rasululah sallallahu alaihi wassallam!

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