Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to stop masturbating?

Assalam O Alaikum,

My problem is really embarassing but I need help with it, possibly from adults that have gone through the same problem. Well I'm trying to stop masturbating because I know it's bad. But it's so hard for me because my hormones are crazy (I'm almost 14 - I know I'm young but I reached puberty early). I can't get married because of my age (and also because of other reasons like being ugly and not having a university degree; in my family it's considered bad to get married before having a degree.) Fasting doesn't help me at all. Sports don't help me either (usually they just make it worse).

Alhamdulilah I never watch porn or anything. So, what can I do to help me stop? Also is there any dua to get pretty or something? (I know it's unrelated to the main question but it's easier than making a new post).

Thanks,

young-Musilmah.

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231 Responses »

  1. I have the Same Problem I can't stop I always tell myself I will Never do it Again but I do it In 2 days Maximum And there is nothing to make me busy I left my Home town Where I had friends but the new place it is difficult to make friends and Play Sports To distruct Me but I can't

    • Asalamualaykum. Depending on your health situation try to fast as this will weaken your desire. Also work on community projects, pray salat in the masjid if you can and keep your self busy with good deeds.

    • brother pray five times a day and after the prayer of Fajr recite surah yaseen and recite ya raufo 20 times after leaving mosque and pray to Allah to encourage me in your way. In maghrib recite surah waqiah and 3 times surah akhlass InshAllah after 1 week tell me about your progress

    • Take this advice brother,
      Combination of fasting and work out will decrease your sexual desire tremendously. Try to fast for two weeks. two hours before you break your fast go to the gym and work out with weights. After two weeks, you can decide to either fast two days a week or one day, but the work out should be done regularly.

      And sometimes the idea of masturbation is related to a specific occasion or situation. for example some people masturbate always when they go to take a shower. in this case, try to take a shower with an underwear on or with the underwear on and the door open. or it could be another situation which will trigger the act. Try to avoid that trigger and you will be relieved insha Allah.

  2. Your age should not restrict you from getting married. It could be beneficial to get married since you can worship Allah through raising and building a righteous family. This will pre-occupy and help you and your spouse stay away from sinning, masturbation and zina. Allah knows best and I am just trying to help.

  3. Thnxxx Sara

  4. Beauty is unnecessary. Imam Ali AS said that if you are beautiful on the inside, allah will make you beautiful on the outside. I stopped masturbating for a week now. I am a boy and i aslo hit puberty. Your beauty is with allah. Allah created everyone beautiful. It's just because someone else is more beautiful, that's why people judge you. Or you could wear barga3 (3=ع) but don't hide. People will love you for who you are. Don't become someone else and dont do plastic surgery it's bad.

  5. I cn understand ur pain brother . .... is there anyone who can help us...

    • I started it at the age of 13 and cannot get rid of it at 37, even when i am married for 8 years and have two children

  6. thanks all of u

  7. Asalam o alaikum . I am 20 years old and I am very sad as I tried alot nd still trying to avoid masturbation but somehow the shaitan gets over me and I become unable to stop myself from masturbation. Please help me out as I am a Muslim girl and I know how bad it is nd what our Allah has said about this in Quran but besides knowing everything I am unable to completely kick this habit out of my life . And please let me know how do I ask for forgiveness from Allah as I feel so embarrassed nd the never get out of this regret . Please help me please .

    Thanks,
    Muslim lady

  8. This may sound stupid, but have you done these things to try and work on the Issue. Do you smoke (Cigarettes)? If not than, when you get the urge (Go for a long jog) as jogging will tire you out, and as you're jogging (you can't be doing that act on the outside In public).

    If that doesn't work, than when you get that urge, jump In a cold shower (Like seriously cold/freezing shower), sounds stupid but the shock of the cold water, will actually make you forget your urge (Even If temporary).

    As for being beautiful and knowing If their Is a "Dua so that Allah (SWT) can make It happen", I'm honestly unsure of It (tbh) but even If (It were possible), you'd have have to be a pretty blessed person, to "just recite a dua, and wake up the next day beautiful/changed/handsome", don't you think?

    Again about the beauty part, that's just my thoughts on It.

  9. salam !
    i am 17 years old.
    i also had this bad habbit from 13 years.i used to do it 7 to 8 times/week and sometimes even more...
    Alhamdulillah! its been 8 months i have never done it.thats a huge progress according to me!
    here are some tips that helped me,i thought i should share them with you....
    1-The first thing is,you must will it.Prepare your mind to stop this bad habbit.I heard some friends saying that this is unstoppable,but thats not the truth.If u want it,u must will it.If u will it ,it will be yours.
    2-Make dua to ALLAH(S.W.T),do the prayers,if u cant pray 5 times a day.try from 1.
    3-Stop watching porn,my personal experience says that if u cant stop watching porn,u cant stop masturbating.
    4-u must know the outcome or disadvantages of this.search on google for its disadvantages of masturbating.i myself kept on doing it,untill i saw the outcome.I had hormonal imbalances,low confidence,low willpower,i became weak,and other things i cant describe..knowing the disadvantages help in stopping this.
    5-consult with your elder brother(if u have one),if u dont have an elder brother,try to discuss it with your father.In my case,my brother helped me a lot.he regularly kept a check on me.
    6-Make a busy schedule if u still have spare time.try not to be alone.if u are home alone.go outside visit a friend or a relative.
    7-Start from reducing the frequency,make a goal of 1 week then start increasing it.
    i wish u the best.
    thanks for reading this and sorry for grammatical mistakes.

  10. Dear friend, this habit is indeed one which frustrates a man/woman beyond his/her limits. However, you must not fall into despair, as there is a way to get out of this wretched habit and get rid of that 'feeling' in your private parts.

    Bear with me for a few minutes

    Now then, have you ever had a song or a particular line stuck in your head and it keeps on repeating itself again and again? gets kind of annoying right? well, there is a way to make a very good use of that little 'annoyance'.

    The proposed solution: The following are the few names of Allah that you can say/whisper/think about, at any time of the day no matter what you are doing (lying down, eating, sitting alone, in a gathering, playing sports etc). These are a few: (you can say as many as you want, as many times as you can)

    Ya Allah
    Ya Rahman
    Ya Raheem
    Ya Malik
    Ya Momin
    Ya Azeez
    Ya Jabbaar
    Ya Ghaffaar

    Trust me when I say this, if you are reciting these names/qualities, in your heart, again and again, then in a little while these names will start repeating in your head again and again, just like something that gets stuck in your head and repeats itself again and again, and it is not at all difficult nor is it exhausting/time consuming to do so, you can do this anytime whilst doing anything! (Just be careful of the setting if you know what I mean)

    What to expect: In a little while, the urge to carry out this habit will subside, and there is a high chance that it will not return, nor will your mind be pestered by such thoughts. Not only that, you will also feel great, and your heart will be filled with happiness and joy! InshaAllah you will come out of this habit.

    The idea behind this solution?: They are not kidding when they say "The idle mind is the Devil's workshop". When your mind is empty, it becomes prone to be filled with some negative thoughts that eventually lead to this habit. Now when you fill up/occupy that empty mind of yours with the names/supplication mentioned above, then there is absolutely no space left for bad and indecent thoughts to enter your mind, your mind is at full capacity, and simply cannot allow space for anything else. Just repeat those blessed names in your head perpetually. It's easier than you think!

    Conclusion: I certainly hope that this helps you, this also serves as a reminder to me. Do not fall in despair, keep up the fight, there will be times when you will fail, but don't ever give up, if you get knocked down, get back up and continue the fight against the accursed Shaitan. Undoubtedly Allah (SWT) is most merciful, and verily his mercy, outstrips his wrath.

    Peace!

    • AoA
      I have been masturbutating since the last 5 years
      I tried to stop multiple times but in vain the most I could do was stop for 30 days
      But I have stopped now the only thing I now fear is that will the last 5 years of masturbutation affect me in any way I am 19 and I started in 14
      Actually you won’t believe it but I when my body was not mature enough to ejaculate but i could have an erection i would orgasm
      I am getting married next year
      Well its a family issue
      I want to know that will my masturbutation effect me in my married life

      Reply

  11. AoA
    I have been masturbutating since the last 5 years
    I tried to stop multiple times but in vain the most I could do was stop for 30 days
    But I have stopped now the only thing I now fear is that will the last 5 years of masturbutation affect me in any way I am 19 and I started in 14
    Actually you won't believe it but I when my body was not mature enough to ejaculate but i could have an erection i would orgasm
    I am getting married next year
    Well its a family issue
    I want to know that will my masturbutation effect me in my married life

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