Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hurt and problems everywhere

successful-Islamic-life

Aslam o alaikum,
I am 22 years old and recently graduated. I and my family is going through a very tough time.

First i discuss my case. I was in a haram relationship and that boy used to say that i want to marry you but then all of the sudden he changed his mind that our nature is different i don't want to live like this etc and he broke up. Before he broke up, his friend approached me and said that your ex is telling false stories about your character but i know he was not like that so i approached him and said i will look into this matter that who is behind this and all. He told me that i have solved the issue but i don't want to be with you as you are not a good girl. I said when your friend approached me i believed in you that you cant do any such thing but when it was your turn to believe me not your friend who was just jealous of you and trying to break our relation you trusted him so he said yes i am now fed up of you i have no interest in you anymore. i was fully sincere with him my ALLAH knows but he just left me. The wrong things said about my character was said by my few friends just for fun as i asked the same thing under anxiety heading. This thing is hurting me alot that my own friends deceived me and he didn't trust me. I swear all that sayings were not true but relation is over now without my mistake that my mistake was that i was in a haram relationship.

Anothet problem i am facing is that my parents got separated when i was little and i live with my father. Our house was full of wealth but suddenly we become poor that there is nothing to eat.

All the problems, the breakup scene and poor thing came together. How to make everything right? ALLAH must be angry with our family. There is not a single happiness left. wealth, family, respect everything is falling apart. I am very stressed now. All of the sudden what happened with us?

I know i am a great sinner. I repent but it seems selfishness that we were enjoying our sins but when punishment came we suddenly change towards ALLAH that forgive us.

How to make everything right? How to bring those days back? Those happiness back?

I feel so empty now a days. Those dreams which he gave me are shattered on the floor because he left me. When i go back to those days in my mind i remember that he said he didn't like my caring nature but at the first place he liked me alot so how his feelings suddenly changed? His friend harassed me and he ignored when i told him. He was my bf and he just ignored that harassment because he no longer feels the same for me. I am left alone with all the blames, fingers on my character and with that harassment. Why because i cared for my bf but he lost his feelings for me? He used to talk alot about sex infact sometimes i had feelings that he is only after that. But he is a good person in society and now he likes someone else even he told her that every girl should be like her. Then what was that when he was with me? Nothing mattered for him. Everyone is telling me just ignore everything is finished now but what about my feelings? My pain? My intention was never wrong. I swear how much i cried when i talked about sex with him because of the guilt that i am doing wrong. ALLAH said intentions matter. My intention was to be with him forever to be his first priority. And in the end i am left with nothing like seriously i lost my respect, friends and the guy i loved. I read ALLAH sometimes closes all doors and windows because he wants to save us from storm. Yes may be i was doing sin being in a relation with him but only i am left empty. He moved on easily. Why only i am seeking punishment? I don't want to punish him but i really want him in my life after everything happened i cant forget that for him but for him i am stranger now to whom he don't even want to talk. Every night i cry, i can't concentrate on anything because it is killing me how he just left me without thinking about me. My friend who spread that rumors are getting everything which i lost. May be you people think after reading this that i am only thinking about myself or how could just everything go wrong without my mistake. But if there is my mistake i want to make that right for him. Yes i want him back but on the same time it's also hurting that how could he just step back and throw me in problems alone? Harassment is a very big thing for a girl and he just ignored that. Is there anything missing in me? Am i not a deserving person? why i am going through this alone?

I don't want to lose hope as ALLAH has helped me alot but then why this situation. After few years may be i would be able to forget this, all the pain will vanish but what about that stain on my heart? Whenever i will see anything related to him or my friends, a flashback will appear. And as i lost that guy will i be able to find someone who will make me feel better? I can't move on with anyone else but how he just moved on. There are so many questions on my mind and i am not fing any solution.

Broken


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19 Responses »

  1. Im talking to you from what a scholor will say to you straight up..This boy friend girl friend is a big haram and it very serious . People take this very lightly. Just look at the types of punishment in the hereafter recorded in the hadith these are authentic.Know this you and all people of the world will never succeed in this world .Those who choose a life other then what Allah and his rasool brought (sharia )quran and sunnah).Then be prepared for hard stressed life.One problem after another until it is time for you do die.Then the real punishment begins.Soooo if we are not praying 5 times a day, learning ,practising,helping the weak ,poor,oppressed giving to charity making this world a better place then you havent understood your purpose.These fun games excitements are deception and whisper of shaitan.Oviously he knows you better then you do and thats the test we are all facing.So my advice learn your faith correctly keep away from all haram tell your dad to go to the mosque so he can get connected and build your career so you can be independant!!!!!

  2. Sister,

    In order for your life to be better, you need to change your way of thinking. You are confused because you have not had Allah as a priority in your life. When you put your faith in people, possessions, and other things, you will always suffer and continue to suffer. You must put your faith in Allah first, and then your life will improve.

    You put your faith in your boyfriend. You had a haram relationship. You trusted him. How does he reward your faith? By using you and then leaving you. Yet even though he mistreated you and left you, you still want him. Why would you want man who is a liar, uses women, and cannot be trusted?

    You said he is a good person in society. Is he a good person when it comes to the Quran? Obviously not. Yet you put your trust in him.

    If you put your faith in Allah none of these bad things would have happened. You would not have fallen in love with this bad man because you would have been able to see his falsehood. When he asked you to do wrong things you would have told him that you did not want to sin and that he should not ask you to do so. If he were a good man he would thank you for reminding him to do what is right. But if he continued to try to get you to sin, you would know that he is a bad man, and then you should have left him alone. A good husband is supposed to help his wife follow Allah, not lead her away. You cannot have a good marriage with a man who leads you to bad things.

    Yet although he is bad, you say you want him back. Are you suicidal? Wanting a bad person is like wanting poison. This makes no sense. This dog has bitten you once and you want him to bite you again.

    You mentioned your friends and his friends and the silly things they are saying. Are these people greater than Allah. Are they the ones who will judge you when you die? If you focused on your faith you wouldn't be dealing with stupid people or concerned about what they say.

    All the wealth in the world will not grant you happiness once you die. It is not important. What is important is that you are a good Muslimah. If you are true to your faith, you will have what you need. It is better live in a tiny house and eat simple meals while following Allah versus being wealthy and forgetting your religion.

    Allah is not punishing you. You are being given a gift. You are now seeing what is really important. It is not falling in love with a bad man, having false friends, and a lot of money. As you see now, these things will leave you quickly. But Allah will not leave you. Put your faith in Allah instead of the stupidity of this world.

    Repent sister, pray, and try your best to do what is right.

    Ask Allah to send you a good man and stop crying over a liar who leads you to shataan.

    Ask Allah to provide for you and stop worrying about being wealthy.

    Be a good Muslimah and Allah will continue to bless you.

    • For the first time may be as i can't recall any other incident but tears came in my eyes after few of your lines. These tears were not for that guy, these were because of a shame and regret i felt. I know i was in a haram relation but for the sake for that relation i quit many bad habits like in the environment around me it's common to talk with boys but i stopped that. Likewise i stopped few more things to bring this relation towards halal commitment. I swear i was very sincere, i was trying to be a good person i don't know for whom i was doing that because i never told him about removing any such things from my life. I was doing that to be a good girl. I was so broken when he didn't trust me because i always hold his back but when i needed it,i was empty handed. Yes he was a liar but i was trying my best to be good hoping one day he'll realize and make it halal.

      Why i still want him back?
      Because he gave me something i so needed in my life. Love may be fake but... Family as i was alone since childhood so i really wanted such family in my life but I was becoming emotionally weak that i wasn't letting him go knowing that he is a liar.

      You mentioned your friends and his friends and the silly things they are saying. Are these people greater than Allah. Are they the ones who will judge you when you die? If you focused on your faith you wouldn't be dealing with stupid people or concerned about what they say.

      These lines are powerful as i was thinking about these silly things which i shouldn't but it mattered for me. My friends, my love etc i just couldn't expect something coming like that. It hurts that whom you trusted stabbed you in back. Whenever i recall those things those memories i just couldn't stop crying that it was not my mistake. Those silly things were used by him as an excuse to leave me. May be he was a bad man but i had feelings for him. I'll try to change my mind and start thinking about what you said.

      About being gifted... Everyone related to this matter said it was good for me. ALLAH always help me out at the right time. Sometimes i understand these things but sometimes when i miss all of them i forget everything and become weak.

      I am finding it hard to get over this.

      JAZAK ALLAH for your help..

  3. Sister, May Allah protect your eeman.

    SISTER ALLAH ALREADY ACCEPTED YOUR DUA SISTER. YESS! I AM NOT KIDDING. THAT WHY HE SEPARATED YOU FROM A HARAM RELATIONSHIP.

    β€œIt may be that you hate something when it is good for you and it may be that you love something when it is bad for you. Allah (swt) knows and you know not.” (Sura al-Baqara, 2:216)

    ALLAH KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU SISTER. HE IS SO MERCIFUL THAT HE BOTHERS ABOUT YOUR STATUS AFTER DEATH. HENCE HE IS PROTECTING YOU AND BROUGHT YOU HERE. YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE HIS MERCY SISTER.

    I had gone through same situation in my life as well but it wasnt such big tidings. But yet I can understand you sister. But I thank Allah that the worst situation made me close to Him and I am studying in an islamic institution along with MBA.

    Let me speak out something which may motivate you and me and I hope it will be a reason for the celebration on the day of judgement. I will not have a better deed for my rescue on his court than making you get close to
    Allah.

    1. Sister, Time you are passing through is the real tidings for a believer, this is where the true faith is reflected. Only true faith in Allah can tolerate and overcome this tiding and ultimately gets rewarded in the court of Allah better.

    2. Remember one thing sister, Islam is not obeying Allah during prosperity. Equally you should obey Allah during affliction. This is the time you should be more close to Allah than the time of prosperity. Wont an employer feels better looking at an employee working hard than others when he is the least paid employee??

    When Ibn Abbas (r.a) asked Abu Dharr (r.a) to give some advice. Abu Dharr (r.a) said "Worship allah during your prime time, Allah will help in your bad or old time"

    What Should you do??

    Let me make it clear sister.. Do following things sister, as per my experience, you will find the true peace in life.

    1.Say "La ilaha illa antha subuhana ka illa antha innee kunthu mina dhaalimeen" 40 times after subah salah.

    2. Take an oath on not missing one single salah. I swear by Allah sister, salah is the ever best solace to a believer. Not performing salah for the sake of doing it. But do it as a conversation with Allah. Think about the meaning of those arabic dhikrs used in salah. Mainly think about meaning of Sura Fathiha. If you want the meaning of Fathiha (not verbal meaning) let me know sister.

    3. Take your time in sajada. Dont lift your fore head from sajada unless you think allah the greatest is watching closely your sajada. Remind yourself meaning of sajada dhikr (let me know if you need).

    4. Increase durood on prophet of Allah. Replace your boyfriend try restating Prophet on his place. I know the stories of prophet came on dream to many sisters as they recite durood.

    5. Ask Allah for eeman and thaqwa. Ask Allah to make you close to Him. Ask to give patience to overcome his test. Keep using these words, "Oh Allah, i dont have capability to overcome your test, Hence, Allah dont test me Allah." Never directly intend or ask for giving back what take away.

    6. Lastly, repentance. Keep repenting to Allah. Say "I didnt obeyed you during my prosperity, Moreover i blamed you when you took it back" Oh kind Allah forgive me. Formality wont result sister. Be polite and be a real slave.

    Finally sister, ALLAH IS THE ONE WHO ACCEPTS DUA OF SINFUL, DO YOU THINK HE WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR DUA??

    KEEP PRAYING SISTER..PRAY FOR ME AS WELL SISTER.. MAY ALLAH THESE COMMENTS AND CONVERT THIS AS GOOD DEED.

    • Sorry Sisiter I had forgotten one relative information.

      Your Dua can be accepted in 4 ways:

      1. Allah forgives your sins instead of giving what you asked.

      2. Allah keeps that dua for your resue on the day of judgement

      3. Allah gives something better than you asked which might not understand.

      4. Allah gives exactly what you asked.

      • Yes i wanna know the meanings.

        ALLAH helped me so that i should come back towards right path. But there are few questions on my mind. I am not intending to say anything wrong or anything haram but these are the questions which aeries whenever i miss him or my friends.

        1. People like my ex are still on that path, they are enjoying the pleasures, keeping relations etc and i am suffering. Whats good in that? I mean i was not the only one who was in haram relation then why am i only suffering and they are moving on with another bf or gf?

        2. These were the stupid things said by my friends but they are not kids. They know what they did and how that thing affected me. Still they are in denial. ALLAH loves everyone equally then what about them? Why aren't they getting any help from ALLAH to be on right path. I tried to prove my innocence but i couldn't and now i can't as our studies completed and everyone moved back to their towns. should i just let go this?

        3. These wealth, people or any other worldly thing will leave us one day but ALLAH won't. How He is with us then when er are losing everything? I read somewhere that ALLAH said do what i wish and you'll get what you wish. I want little clarification of this saying.

        I hope brother you'll be able to give me these answers. I am not thinking any thing wrong about ALLAH or any such thing. I just want to clear these things in my minds which stuck whenever i recall all of that.

        INSHAA ALLAH brother i will pray for you and everyone. Please pray for me as well.

        • Insha Allah Sister.

          I can wholly understand your psychological status of mind sister. I still wonder why you want to think about your ex you call him as ex??

          you please tell me one thing sister.. Wont you have a desire to get married? A beautiful halal and legal relationship? Dont you have wish to have a family life with your children? Have you ever thought about your future husband? Dont you think you are cheating him? Dont you think you will be shameful mother one day? Dont you think your future husband will be coming with all desires and temptation believing you are made for him? Untill you reply to this let us forget about your friends. (I will answer you with answer to all 3 question)

          I can answer all 3 queries sister. But I am sure my answers will not make difference to your thoughts. It is important to understand you before answering. You need to divert your thoughts sister. Let me tell what is Love first..

          LOVE is nothing but JEALOUS. Initially it may be pleasure, smile or anything but finally love is jealous sister. You dont like him talking or looking at other women. He dont like he enjoying without you. You dont like him getting noticed in public where women exists. You dont like him praising any women including your sister. You dont like him being not worried when you feeling bad. Isnt this jealous?? I am wrong sister??
          Thats why when you get married to a another yougster and you start loving him and then you wont jealous looking at your ex bf, instead that Jealous is now on your husband.

          Now you are still loving him sister. Thats the conclusion. Hence, no meaning I answer your questions. HATE HIM FIRST. Hate him and show your happiness in life without him. As many days you are depressed, he is happy looking at you being depressed. Convey him that absence of his fake love isnt effected you. Hence I suggested happiness through submitting your will to Allah. But that seems to be burdening in your case. What about getting marriage sister? This only a suggestion. You can think over taking your time. If you could go for it Insha Allah, I will pray whereever I go to give you a best spouse. But yet its nothing but a suggestion from me. Becoz Prpohet s.a said, "Parents are responsible childrens going to haram relationship. So marry arrange their marriage which can stop them going to haram relationship". Hence sister as you are separated from your family. I fear Allah may question me why didnt you atleast suggested your sister. I talking as if you are my sister.

          Finally let me tell you sister.Many womens had such broke up issues. But they got married and I swear by Allah they are really really happy than being with their boyfrnds. One of them said, "I didnt know my husband will love better than my bf". But they are happy and living a life with their children. Bcos sister, marriage is not just lust or tempatation. You will go mad by looking at you husband his family's love towards you.

          Please think on this answer sister. I am also adding meaning fathiha in tail. May Allah guide you sister. Please think over the above and divert your thoughts. I have convincing answers to your queies sister. Will discuss in the next conversation.

          Please dont foget salah. A time to talk to Allah. Tell your grievances.

          Meaning of Sura Fathiha..

          • Mohammed Haneef, please do not post your email address.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Dear admin,

            I didnt know I should not mention email ID. I thought it could give authentication to the fact. Yet I realise it wasnt right to do so. Hence, please delete my previous post. I will rewrite obliging the norms.

          • No need to delete it, I already removed the email address.

          • First of all i would like to thank you for helping me out. JAZAK ALLAH for this and i'll pray for you INSHAA ALLAH.

            There was an incident in my life due to which i decided to be a working and independent woman. For that i studied and trying for jobs. Until this guy came in my life and brought me towards love which i liked. I spent a time with him, i made my feelings and thoughts about marrying him. How can i suddenly change all this. I tried everything for him and in the end he left me. This thing has tore me apart that may be i don't deserve anyone or may be i am no good for anyone.

            Yes is the answer of all your above questions...

            He is happy, enjoying his life, even forgotten me (may be) but has moved on and here i am suffering daily in the war between my mind and heart to forget him. On new year eve i saw so many people engaged in haram relation and they are happy. I was happy and if this breakup thing didn't occur may be i would never repent for the relation.

            ALLAH helped me out by taking me out from haram thing. ALLAH also helped him as well then. So, what's the difference between us. I got hurt, my thoughts were rejected and he is not guilty for anything.

            I am trying everyday to change me,my life but that hope has vanished somewhere that i will get any love in future as i was no good for him due to which his feelings changed.

          • Alhamdulillah! I am happy sister that you are not among the hangouts of the new year eve. I have got nothing and i am not entitled be thanked. I pray may allah opens the doors of happiness to you. Please do pray for me to die with eeman. Lets thank Allah who turns the heart has stabilised your heart in his religion.

            Let me narrate an incident of a person close to me. This happened 2 years ago. He fell on love to his classmate and it was continued for 2 years until the completion of his degree in 2013. Now after degree her father arranged her marriage with another business man and this guy was helpless. He told me that I am gonna suicide which I denied trying my level best. He said she was also saying that she also cannot live without him. It was all days of cry for both of them. Finally she married after 5 months of degree completion. He said he did all the possible sin with her. He tried to start smoking from which i stopped him. He tried start a new relation which again I stopped him. All the way he was becoming more and more depressed in life and he got ulcers in stomach because of mental depression. (Ulcer also comes due to deep depressed bcs of worst food system during depression). Even after ulcer operation he was in same depression. He once wished her on he birthday and had a chat where she said she loves her husband and she is pregnant. This doubled his pain. Now he decided to punch her back. He deleted all her photos, deleted whatsapp, deleted facebook, deleted all musics, and deleted her number and sold his phone after formatting it and took a decision to meet her jannah. Then He started listening quran audios, lectured from youtube. He started talking to Allah and repented for all the harams he did. He started night prayers in that particular Ramdhan and took a decision to clean himself by that Ramdhan. He cried and cried and r'epented everyday. Allah gave him happiness sister. Post ramdhan I saw his tweet status "Happiness reloaded" He then started more concentrate in his salah and even i wonder looking at the time he is taking for his sajada. Believe me sister He saw Prpohet Muhammad (s.a) 2 times in this month Rabee'ul awwal. He says that he is more eager to see the Allah who created all these beautiful things. Sister scholars say people will stay stunned for 70 thousand years by looking at Allah.

            You the is the prime time sister. If you lost this age its big loss sister. Allah will also question about your youth sister. Make use of youth time sister. A Hadees says a young person having all the possibilities of committing sins but controls himself from evils are like, Allah will say them you are parallel to my angels and you ran to me like my angels.

            ONETHING SISTER, ONCE YOU EXPERIENCE THE PLEASURE FROM OBEYING ALLAH YOU WILL NEVER BECOME DEPRESSED IN LIFE.

            I suggest you please watch below 3 videos as soon as possible.

            1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnmZw6zpMG0
            2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POFMcjntE58
            3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aY-QRHPWuk

            I suggest watching such videos more in youtube. I prefer Shaik Sulaim Moola.

            Answers to your questions sister:

            Dont worry about he being enjoying his life in haram. Allahs mercy is wast. You cannot imagine when he open the door open hidayath to someone like he opened it for you. Allah may give him hidaya soon or later or may be at the end of his life. Moreover Allah gives to those who asks him. You asked sincerely hence allah answered. Allah says he give to those ask him. Thats why Allah not yet opened the doors of hidayath to him. Allah doest like eveyone equally sister. Thats wrong. He treats everyone equally when it comes to Allah he loves the most the one who repents to him after committing sin. I answered 1st and 2nd question at one becos it was relevant each other. It would grateful if you could mention the verse number for the 3rd question. If not let try gain to search for such verse ans them i will reply. I think there is no such worse in quran.

            Hope you are addicted salah sister.

            I thank Allah for giving me this opportunity to explain his mercy to his believers. I am sure sister if you go close to Allah like the person mentioned above, that will be biggest deed for my rescue on the day of judgement. May Allah accepts all our conversation as a good deed and gather us in his Jannah.

            Pray for me sister.

  4. Sorry for the grammer mistakes. I was travelling yesterday while writing these. Youth typed as You and many more mistakes as I red today.

    • Asalam o alaikum

      First of all pardon me for so many questions... Whenever someone shares their problems, i always try to give them hope but when it comes to me i just become hopeless. I know it's not good but this incident is on my mind. He left, abused, friends cheated etc. I saw so many cases where their own family members are doing this but ALHAMDULILLAH i am not facing any such issue. The point is not to forget him and move on. The point is i really wanted him to be a part of my life but i couldn't because his feelings changed may be due to my behavior. If i change myself or anything like that whats the use of that as i already lost everything. I am trying to come towards ALLAH so His pleasure for my own peace but in this worldly life i am loser. A friend told me that focus on your self love your self. I don't find anything in me to love as whenever i look at myself, i see him leaving me, i see my friends deceiving me.
      Brother will ALLAH ever shoe him that i was sincere and i was not like the one defined by my friend??

      It is also ALLAH 's mercy that He gave me this platform to correct myself, gave you to guide me. It is a very big thing to make someone laugh and to bring them on right path so JAZAK ALLAH brother. I'll always remember you in prayers and keep your words in my mind.

      Please pray for me brother please.

      • On my last day of graduation, i saw him. When i saw him i kind of really forget that we are separated now but he didn't even look at me. After that day i never went back there. I missed so many interviews because i didn't want to go there. But yesterday i did go. I met all those people who wronged me with a smile. But when ever i see anyone of them tears comes in my eyes that what did they get after doing those stupid things. They will repent one day, my ex will repent one day but what will be the use of that when once a damage had been done.

        I met few people there, they were in a haram relation. They broke up and moved on with an another one happily because they were just having fun with each other. I see so many people doing such things. Sometimes i wonder i should be like them just do timepass and move on. Because being sincere with a one is so much painful. That memories that things haunts me. Was i wrong being sincere? I am coming back towards deen, trying to repent for all that wrong things but still i miss him. I find no solution.

        I know i am being immature that crying for a haram relation. There are many other problems that people are facing now a days and my problem is small in front of them. But this is the environment i am living in. I was not going anywhere so that i can find some peace and it was working but when i went back there, saw those people i felt the heart ache again. I didn't see him. If meeting those friends and people is affecting me that much then what will happen when i'll come across my ex. In your friend's story they both loved and due to certain situation they got separated. In my situation only i got affected not him.

        Life seems unfair to me. Dear brother, if i am being annoying then don't worry i will not question you that much but the fact is i don't know where else to share this. I can't anyone here anymore.

        • Sister, Once you call me brother, you shouldn't be saying you don't have anyone to help you or to give you hope in life. From the beginning i was saying all these considering as my sister who don't have anybody to guide. Its my fortune that Allah opted me to help you out to come back. So ask until you feel happy. Never worry that you dont have any body to help you, we all are here to help you, become virtual brothers and sisters of you. May Allah accept all of us.

          I can fully understand your mindset being broken heart. What you need is emotional support. I know it will take 6 month to 1 year to heal completely.

          You are asking, will he realise one day that your love was sincere to him. I also know the pleasure you get by knowing he realised your sincerity in love. Because you are so innocent. FIRST THING IS YOU SHOULD REALISE IS THAT HE DECEIVED YOU MY SISTER. And you are an innocent girl believed him and still loving him. I am not exaggerating when I say he cheated you. Tell me sis what is true love? Can a person loving truly leave his lover like this? NEVER. My friend, He said (It was not just separation sis, eventhough she said she cant live without him, after few days she started talking to her wouldbe for more than hours daily.. Understand that pain) He said he will not marry throughout life because of his love on her. He said even though she deceived me I cant spoil her marriage, i want her to be happy. This is love my sis. I swear by Allah that your ex didnt loved you like my friend did. He didnt loved you my sister. He was deceiving you all these days. You loved his heart but he never loved your heart sister. If he would have loved your heart, it is impossible to a man to even imagine a life without you. And enjoying life with another after break-up is... I dont have words my sis. BUT I SAY IN SIMPLE WORDS, HE DIDN'T LOVED YOU.

          Ofcourse you loved him, sincerely. Its not your problem sis, you were innocent and you didn't had anybody to guide. Understand the true love taking your own example. You still want his presence, even after he deceived. Thats love sister. Now tell me can you call his love as love??? IT WASN'T LOVE. I am not trying to convince you but you should realise the reality. Imagine this would have happened after marriage with him?? Just imagine the reality. Is that harder than this??? Thats why I say Allah saved you sister. THANK ALLAH FOR THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING TO YOU SIS.
          Allah says in quran that Human beings are not thankful to Allah. Allah wont do such changes with all, but he rescued you my sister, may be bcs of your innocence, or bcs of dua of yours or duas some one from your family. Allah would have broken you also bcs you would have kept someone who will sincerely love and take care my inncocent sister.

          And don't say you have nothing to love yourselves. When all we brothers and sisters of this platform are with you, do you think you have nothing and thats why all are with you? You just lost something worst and Allah is giving you so many good brothers and sister here (eventhough I am not good, there are many good brothers and sisters in this platform writing for you). CHEER UP MY SISTER. ALL ARE TRYING SO MUCH OF SPENDING TIME AND WRITING SO MUCH IS JUST TO BRING BACK THE SMILE IN YOUR FACE. All these convincing people are nothing but Love of Allah on you.

          And dont say they will repent and think will go allright. Bcs you dont know when they will die or when we will. But remember one thing, more time one person is spending on haram, it is more difficulty to him on the day of judgement. He/She needs to answer the question of Allah "How you spent your time as youth????" Alhamdulillah. Allah protected you sister from wasting more time of youth in haram.Thank Allah through Sajada for this mercy. One cannot lift their legs on the day of judgement in abject hot, unless he/she convinces about their youth. I hope my sister got answer that "ALLAH I THANK YOU, I REPENTED TO YOU ALLAH IN MY YOUTH FROM THE HARAM I DID EVENTHOUGH ALL MY SURROUNDING PEOPLE CONTINUED IN THE SAME AND I HAD ALL THE OPPORTUNITY TO FOLLOW THEM.

          Finally to my dear sister, These are not just words that i am conveying you. I am trying to make you understand the reality. Hence, this is the prime time sister to you to turn close to Allah. I suggest you to change your environment and also spent more time with your family which help you to overcome the depression. But one thing sister, never ever even think of having another love in life before marriage.

          Quran Sura Zukhruf (43:67) "On the Day of Judgement, friends will become each other's enemies except on the friendship for Allah"

          Pray for this poor brother sister. Bcs I know no one will be so close to Allah as my repenting sister. Pray for me to die with eeman.

          • Asalam O alaikum brother,

            Thank you so much for doing all this for me... JAZAK ALLAH
            INSHAA ALLAH I'll pray for you and for all... Thanks alot for taking your time for me so that i can smile and that is a very big deed so JAZAK ALLAH brother. πŸ™‚

            I am feeling bad that cuz of me you are doing that much effort. i'll try my best so that your effort don't go in vain.

            Yes it will take time but how can i realize that he doesn't love me because as i mentioned early my few friends conveyed wrong information about me to him. Then may be he felt deceived or anything. Why would anyone accept a wrong girl. This is the reason i can't hate him that may be he loved me and felt deceived. But yes i loved him and despite of all his mistakes i want him πŸ™

            Brother, i have heard that it's best to forgive your enemies but i won't forgive those friends. NEVER. and if he deceived me then i won't forgive him but still i feel weak even if i hear about him. I feel like that i deceived him and was not good enough for him.

            ALLAH helped me i know i prayed that save me from sins and He did. ALHAMDULILLAH. But what should i do now? I still feel weak towards him and still loves him. Sometimes i feel suicidal but whenever i think that ALLAH saved me i try to keep myself calm. But i didn't deceive him i swear i was not like that. I loved him how can i even think about deceiving him or hurting him. But i did hurt him. If he is happy without me that okay i'll stay away and won't even try to contact him. But i am hurt without him. I always cry while sleeping. I did alot of mistakes and try to repent for all of them. But i just need a second chance to improve all of that things. I won't forgive them.

            I'll pray for you with my sincere heart. Do for me as well.

          • I saw him brother. He has forgotten me. I cried like a hell after seeing him and he doesnot even recognize me anymore. How will i live with this pain forever? I can't live without him πŸ™

  5. Assalam alaikum

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