Hurt and betrayed, can’t find inner peace
SubhaanAllah ~ Allah's Beautiful Artistry: Positano, Amalfi Coast, Italy
Assalamualikum...... well I've a problem rather a lot of problems 🙂 before I start leme give you a brief intro. I am a very sensitive and shy person. I have never made alot of friends in my life - and being the only kid of my parents, I always feel lonely. I've never shared my thoughts and feelings with others. Now the problem started when I met a guy on an online chatting site. We became friends rather we became best friends.
He told me that he had an affair before but his parents didnt agree because of the height of that girl was short as he was 6 feet. I felt very bad for him and tried to console him (the time when we met he was on an army course) later on we started to share our family problems with each other and many of the time he also gave me such hints that as he is interested in me and loves me. Whenever he used to be alone, he used to send me a text "call me" and within a second I used to make him a call and talked to him for hours BUT HE NEVER MADE ANY CALL though he was having a job and I was and still am a student.
Anyhow i started to develop feelings for him and later I told him that I love him and he said that he loves me too. everything was going great and I was extremly happy with him, we never had any fight. He always used to make me smile. After 4 months of our friendship and love his course ended and he moved back to the place where he was posted earlier. Now his behaviour started to change. At first he said that he is very busy as his job is very tough. I must tell here one thing that i trusted him blindly, he was the only person who can speak up right to my heart, I never have to tell him that am upset or something, he used to came to know all by himself.
So when he said he is busy I trusted him and never bothered him during his duty hours, than he rarely talked and texted me. after 1 month my grand father died and went to my hometown, when I came back he was totally changed, and later one day he said that he never loved me, he was just there for me as a friend. so I so badly disturbed I wasnt able to bear that pain and later I fainted, when I came back from hospital and we had a chat again he said that he did it because he was going to a battle field and he was afraid that he might die there and he knew that I wont be able to bear it so he made a story that he never loved me.
I again trusted him and one day he moved to that place, later by a source I came to know that he wasnt in the battle field he was at a very safe place and from there he used to call on of his female friend. anyways he never called me. For 5 long months I didnt take any proper meal, I wasnt able to sleep and eat because I was too worried about him. I kept on sending him messages as internet was also available to him but he never replied, my condition was getting worst, doctor used to give me sleeping tablets so that I could go to sleep and npt hurt myself.
I begged him to give me a single reply but he never bothered to. He knew that I was dying he knew it very well and still during all that time he was busy with flirting with other girls which I came to know very late. He was also involve in very evil acts he used to talk to girls on phone and discuss rubbish things (at first he also tried to talk about dirt things but after getting a harsh reply from my side he said that he was just kidding, moreover we never met each other) now my eyes are opened I know that he was just flirting with me. But somewhere in my heart, I still want to be with him. I miss him and love him a lot. I regulary check his profile and status update. I never cursed him, I always wanted him to stay smiling but not at the cost of my life.
Allah knew everything, HE has seen my suffering n the pain I've gone through, my love was pure and sincere, than why all this happened to me?? I know and accept that there is surely something better for me out there but I'm still unable to cope up with this pain. I don't want to live (not because of him or because of any reason). I don't fear death and I don't love this world. I just want to die, so that I can meet my God. I want peace of my soul. Any material thing doesnt attract and make me happy. It always feel like as my soul is fluttering inside my body as it wants to leave it.
I always feel that as I dont belong to this world, sometimes I want to leave this material world and go somewhere where I can find my God, may be ALLAH is angry at me. I am confused and I dont know what should I do. I don't hurt people, I dont curse them, than why am I unable to get any inner peace, 24/7 I stay depressed with severe headache. What should I do?
-silentobserver
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Salaam sister silent observer.
I am sorry to hear what you've been through, it's always very painful to be betrayed by someone we care for. First of all let me try to address your points one by one.
You say you want to die? To be close to Allah and be with your Lord? Sister please wake up and realise, you don't have to die to be close to Him! He is always there with you. In fact dying will not solve anything - life is a gift as you have the chance to repent, make amends and get closer to Allah. We have the chance to collect good deeds. As Muslims we should not fear death, but we should not be desperate for it either. There is no guarantee for any of us that we will enter Jannat, or that we won't be punished in the grave. So dear sister, there is no guarantee that your suffering will be less in the grave (although I pray it won't be.) What I am trying to say is grab this opportunity and realise you are blessed to be alive. I pray that Allah swt forgives and has mercy on the Ummah. Ameen.
Also be aware that you are heartbroken right now, and it sometimes leads to irrational feelings and thoughts. So maybe you feel inclined towards death due to that. The point is no matter what you feel don't act on it if its bad, OK?
You say Allah knew your pain and suffering? Dear sister you must accept responsibility. You say your love was pure and innocent but did you know it is haraam to speak to a non-mahram as a good friend. Opposite sex friendships are wrong in Islam and as you have found out, they cause problems. I was also unaware myself and it came as big shock to me. So sweet or dirty talk is in itself a form a zina and is a sin.
"A son of Adam's share of zina has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably fulfill that. Thus the eyes commit zina by looking, the ears commit zina by listening, the tongue commits zina by speaking, the mouth commits zina by kissing, the hands commits zina by acting (or touching) the foot commits zina by walking (toward the sin) the soul (or heart) wishes and desires (the sin) and the private part confirms all of that or desires it"
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim).
Please do not despair. Acknowledge the mistake, turn to Allah swt and repent and vow to not commit such sins again. He swt will forgive you. Be aware that these rules are in place to protect you. Many people have breached or disobeyed them and what have they found: - they have ended up feeling hurt, betrayed and used either emotionally/physically or both. There is wisdom in what Allah makes lawful and unlawful. It's for our own good my dear. Not every person is as kind, sweet and honest as you. Unfortunately there are predators out there so stay far away from zina. Don't have male friends, if you talk to a guy at school/uni/work try to keep conversation to these topics and don't regularly talk to them about other things. Dont ever be alone with a non-mahram man without someone else present. Avoid talking on the phone with guys without a very good reason and if you do have someone present. I know it sounds strict but honestly you willbe happier InshaAllah.
You say you love this guy. Well it's normal that you miss him and still have feelings for him. These feelings do pass with time. But you need to look after yourself. Force yourself to get up in the mornings, to eat. Thank Allah swt every single day for the blessings he has given you. Also you not meeting this guy was a protection that Allah swt provided. Had you had met him, you may have committed full zina and yout sitution would be much worse now. Make tawbah sincerely and everytime this guy comes into your head/heart, make tawbah. Pray your 5 daily prayers - if you find it hard/ you're not used to it do fardh only but be regularly. Do a bit more each day and dont tire yourself. Also read some Qur'an every day, even just some of a page. Take up a hobby - anything halal which is fun.
Do this and give it time and you will move InshaAllah
Dont contact him at all though. You should also change your number if you can, and dont allow him to make contact with you! Be strong. If you feel the urge to text him, get a tasbih and recite SubhanAllah.
Know that you are beautiful Muslimah and work on getting closer to Allah swt. You deserve so much more than this disgusting treatment this guy gave you. Protect yourself from being messed about in future and respect yourself. Acknowledge your worth and don't settle for someone who will talk behind your family's back. Also dont talk to guys online - its not safe and its easy for them to lie!
If theres anything you want me to explain further or if you need more advice feel free to write on here.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.Com editor
Sister thank u . I m also in this situation since one year..
dear silent observer,
asalamalaikum,
every word that sarah has said is soooooo true. many of us have been through the same. famous saying TIME IS THE BIGGEST HEALER applies best to it.till you reach that healed stage, do what sarah has suggested. i did it and inshallah Allah will protect you from feeling despair. say the dua inalillah-e hi wa inaillaihe rajioon ( its in the duas for deperession on this website) .it really will help.
be thankful to Allah that he saved you from getting abused further. ofcourse what he did is no doubt wrong but we cant stop people from doing wrong , all we can do is to protect ourselves from being a target of that wrong. we must follow Allah's commands to keep us safe .
my dear sister inshallah you will feel better. make 2 rakats namaz and pour your heart out in front of Allah.you will feel comforted. ask allah to give you comfort (tassali in urdu if you understand).
look after yourself. continue being the good person you are. we all stumble in life , get up ,look after your wounds ,give it sometime to heal and carry on walking in the path of life with allah's help and mercy.
take care my sis.
friend.
Dear Silent Observor
I experienced a very similar situation. From your message you sound very young, I am a little older and met someone at work. Because we were both older and ready for marriage, the topic of marriage came up very early. The guy told me early on that his family may not be happy with me as I am alot shorter than him, but he said he would try anyway so I trusted him.
We fell in love very quickly, he told his parents he wanted to marry me, but they kept saying no again and again, and everytime there was a different excuse (we all knew the real excuse was my height but they did not want to appear to be ignorant people). He kept trying to persuade them over two years because we both loved each other very much and felt we were right for each other.
However, very early on, I found text messages/letters from other girls, I also found some other disturbing items, and whenever I confronted him, I was given a rubbish excuse. The sad thing is, each time, knowing the excuse was rubbish and unbelievable, I still let it go, because I wanted everything to be perfect and believed that Allah had destined us to be together. Two years later, still trying to convince his parents (my parents were aware of the sitation, and had met his parents, they were obviously not happy with being messed around, but wanted me to be happy and thought if this guy can make me happy they would support us), I found more evidence of infidelity, I found out he had been seeing someone at work, going on sex sites amongst other things. We broke up briefly, but I was scared of being alone, I was scared that I now had to find someone else who was going to be my life partner, someone I didnt know, so thinking "better the devil I know" i took him back. Anyway, he left all of that stuff being (that is what he told me anyway), things were good for a while, but the families were still putting a lot of pressure on us and he could not take that pressure and he ended things in the most unimaginably cruel way.
All of this happened very recently and I am still in the process of healing.
What I want you to learn by hearing my story is that sometimes when you love someone and you think you know them, in your heart and your head you put them on a pedestal, and in your head you build up this notion of how perfect they are, how perfect you and him are together, how you will have a perfect life. But things that perfect are never this difficult. Allah gave me sooo many signs over 3 years that I should walk away, and I chose not to listen to them, I saw them, I realised what was happening, but I turned a blind eye. In the end, it wasnt meant to be and I realised that. I miss the good times, I miss the person I thought he was, I miss the images that I built up in my head, but I know that he was completely wrong for me, he would have ruined my life by his lying and cheating and I am grateful to be saved from that.
I know exacly how you are feeling, and you probably are feeling hurt, betrayed, lost, humiliated and probably feel a bit silly for having let someone treat you like that. You shouldnt, love makes you blind, dumb and stupid. Look at me, I am a very educated woman with a good background and I fell into the trap, I fell badly and deep, men can do that to you.
This has happened to you for a reason, I dont know the reason, nor do you, but you have to believe me that something good will come out of this, and you will emerge stronger and victorious.
The adab of the servent is to realise the need of Allah and wait patiently at his door.
Remember you dont know what is best for you.
The better is the choice that Allah makes for you.
The righteous would worry when their prayers were answered as they would worry they were not getting what is best for them.
It will take time for you to heal, you must remember you are not alone, you have friends and family around you that will be there to support you and help you get stronger again. And most importantly, you know that Allah is watching over you and he knows things you dont. He is planning something bigger and better for you.
This guy has done you a favor, at least you know he is wrong for you and iA one day you will find someone deserving of you.
Be patient and keep strong and things will get easier.
Move on my friend that is the best way you story brought tears and remind me the old memories as well but listen time will heal every thing inshallah as you mentioned maybe there is some thing better & bigger for you out there that is 100% true what ever Allah has for us it is for the best time will make you realise it all
sister, your story is one of innocense meets the devil, you are lucky you never met, this could have been far worse if you did, also, think about this....people in the army, they kill because they are told to, and dont even think about what they have done, often this will involve killing innocents, you cannot have a heart and do that, the job makes you cold to love and makes you a desire focussed person- this is against Islam. And about him knowing how you feel, most of us can tell when a girl is feeling happy or sad etc...your emotions give it all away
And face it you are not living in a nice world, mostly you will find people who are ruthless and do not abide by Islamic rules. Think of this life as a passing, a struggle, a fight with no real peace except if Allah's blesses you with it. And you are not alone, not if you have faith and you only have certain duties towards others and vice versa and these duties will not attach you to anyone except in marriage. Focus on where you want to be in life, it is not your duty to be concerned about this mans welfare, it is not your job, so what you feel as your responsibilities towards him are what you are assigning to yourself....I think if he knew he would take avantage and exploit you.
It is hard being alone and nobody to talk to especially as a single child, this si something many people go through, in some cases they have many siblings yuet are still alone. Keep yourself busy, go to the mosque meet other sisters and make friends with them, attend islamic study circles, these can be great fun, but don't get attached to anyone, or you will be in this situation again in the future.
Try this, it should help you:
Putting your hand on your forehead and recite: “Allahumma Rabban-Nass, Adh-hibil-Ba’ss Washfi Anta-Shaafi La shifa’an illa shifa’uk Shifa’an La Youghadiru Saqaman” (Bukhari)
"O Lord of the people, remove this pain and cure it, You are the one who cures and there is no one besides You who can cure, grant such a cure that no illness remains".
Recite the 3 Quls. (Ikhlass, Falaq, Annass) (Bukhari)
Putting your hand on your forehead and say: “Bismillahi Yubreek Min Kulli Daa’in Yashfeek Wa Min Sharri Hassidin Idha Hassad Wa Min Sharri Kulli Dhi ‘Ayn (Muslim)- 3 times a day
If you have any questions reply back.
salam,
dear silent observer. i was just looking for an answer of some of the troubles i am going through and one of them was that i just could not understand that WHY ME? and just could not let go. i came across this you tube clips. maybe it will help you , it help me a lot.
the clips are by a christian preacher but so relevant. dont worry iam a muslim alhamdullilah and not trying to preach christianity. just search for joyce meyer-finding hope in troubled times, and trusting God when you dont understand.
Dear Silent observer,
Hope you are doing much better now. I have an uncanny feeling that the person you were talking resemble my husband's profile..or was for that matter. He had been cheating on me from the start of our marriage and it continued even after our first baby was born. I know the hurt...I still feel it. He was in the army when got married and now...
What our faults are essentially is that we as women think that we have to take care and respond to other's needs than ours. We never consider ourselves as important as the next person. This is the difference between men and women. Men (as in your case the idiot) was only concerned with getting his ends. Therefore, he did not care he had to give something back, that is love and attention. You on the other hand thought of it as an obligation to love him, since you are the softer or weaker sex. But here is the thing. As we mature, and as we come to see the world, we realize that prince charmings do not exist. Only men do. Some find good men, and I always tell them to thank Allah everyday that they have been blessed with such a man. Some, like us poor unfortunate ones, end up with self centred egotistical men. My experiences are similar in context but a little deeper, however, the hurt is still something that everyone feels to the same degree. The lesson that I learnt was this. You are the most important person in your life, and it is your responsibility to make sure you are healthy, happy, protected and safe. When you start taking yourself as your own responsibility, you learn what a wonderful person you are, and how you do not need a man, woman or any person for that matter to validate your importance or your feeling of self worth.
In other words, I know this is a very difficult time, and we have all faced these trials from either men or women in our lives. But no person in the world is worth wasting your life or heart on. A truly sincere person will protect and defend you till the end; such as parents. If someone doesnt do that for you, you must learn to create the same thinking for him or her too.
"The heart will heal and you will fall in love again. However, you will deny having fallen in love like this ever before"
Please do not lose heart. Allah gives things when least expected, and He will give you more than you imagined for your self.
I am not good at advising people but let me try. Please forgive me if I wrote something here which you don’t like. Sister this could be a cognitive/ emotional/social development issue condition which needs medical attention. I have been through similar problems in life and have read a lot of books on this subject in past seven years. Let me share as to what worked for me.
Before I start let me give you a brief intro.
I am a very sensitive and shy person. - My dear sister you are also very inexperienced in life especially in relationships, Isolated, so any experienced guy can take advantage of you. Please be very careful.
I have never made a lot of friends in my life – This is also my story, I can relate to that. As you are lonely and looking forward to friendship very much; Sister this is a very normal feeling. Because you have not developed the social skills in life you are just looking for Mr. Perfect in your life to make up for all the loneliness you always felt. The truth is the kind of support you are looking for will only come from your inside. You have to find the strengths inside you and I am sure you have this strength in you. Ask you self Questions like As what sort of feelings you have? And what your expectations are? Write them down. Then look in to self leadership. Yes you are in love with someone very close to you but because this Guy is not close to you; It means that the person you are truly in love with can not be him. So now you have to find out who you are in love with?. Search for the answer. Is it Allah (swt)? You know to know one self is to know God. Let’s simply assume that the easy answer is that you in love with yourself and you want to help yourself build emotionally and socially so that the void in your life will not become a baggage you are going to carry to your children.
Here you start building up yourself emotionally. You see you could have married him and had children’s with him and still after a few years he could have left you for another woman? This is life and you are just like any other woman have to find the strengths in side your self to deal with the situations of this nature.
I was engaged to a sister for 4 years as I was waiting for her to finish her education. Now I wanted to go and get married to her very soon so I started preparing to buy a plane ticket. Guess what happened? I am told that she married some body else so I don’t have to buy the plane ticket. A hard lesson I learnt but this is normal in life.
Does God love you? Allah has given you what? Your life is a trust from Allah this in itself is a big proof of Allah’s love, feel this love, understand this love. Read up on Allah’s love and Mercy in the Quran. And Allah (swt) have made you extremely special. You know why because you are a follower of Muhammad (pbuh). Now I know that Muhammad used to pray to Allah during night time and used to cry a lot during his prayer for his followers. It means you because you are His follower. Write down poems about your love for the Prophet.
and being the only kid of my parents, I always feel lonely. I've never shared my thoughts and feelings with others. Now the problem started when I met a guy on an online chatting site. We became friends rather we became best friends. Which means that any body who pays attention to you and makes you feel very important, you feel really attached to him because you never had many friends. So this is easy go find yourself some good Muslim sisters who will be your friends. They will teach you how to deal with your emotions etc as they have had the very similar emotions which they been through. If you understand hindi / urdu I can give you names of Dramas to watch. Or you can watch some dramas in your language understand life is not easy people fall in love, people fall out of love, people get married, people get divorced. But don’t kill yourself over some guy who does not bother to email you back! Send his email address to me may be he is the one that needs to go. But I know that you have feelings for Him and you don’t want him dead so don’t send me his email address. Let him live and let your self move on gracefully because there is some one out there waiting patiently to be with you as your husband. Don’t kill his all his dreams by taking you life. If you leave what will he live for?
I can continue to write a lot on this but I think you got the message. If you need any further help just post a question on this forum. I also recommend you buy Refinement of the hearts by Hamza Yusuf. It works wonders. It worked for me.
Keep me in your Duas. Please don’t die over some one who does not care about you. Live for you brothers and Sisters who just like me who really want you to be happy and healthy. I have tears in my eyes so let me stop here. Just live for Allah, Sister believe me Allah loves you and Allah wants you to be patient and wait for the happy times in your life. Just give your worries to Allah in your Salat. Wait for the day when you husband, you son and your very own daughter will hold you in their arms and say to you mum I love you.
Keep me in your Duas.
Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah –
http://www.islamhouse.com/p/314956
http://www.harunyahya.com/patience.php
ASALAMUALAIKUM WU RAHMA TULLAHI WABARRAKATU. ALHAMDULILLAH RABB AL ALAMIN and u found out about it. always remember that we should think of those less unfortunate than us. What you have experienced could be light for others or it is worst than you think. Some people might have killed themselves, losed theri minds, went to drink, or did drugs to forget the pain temporarily. As a Muslim always remember that evena prick of thorn expatriates our sins and sends us closer to ALLAH (SUBHANAWUTA'ALLAH). In times of unbearable pain, WE WILL NEVER DIE OF IT, WE ONLY WISHED WE DID. It's the effect of films we watched. We have to wake up on reality. There's more to life, bigger issues that people experienced. People experienced the same thing and die as a kafir. ALHAMDULILLAH we are Muslims. And ALHAMDULILLAH for the revelation of ALLAH (SUBHANAWUTA'ALLAH), the books and prophets (ALAYHI SALAM) HE has sent to be an example. You want the best advise? the best examples? let us go through the QUR'AN. There we will see great, true, unbelievable stories of pain and suffering. SUBHAN'ALLAH! even me i admit as a human it is said in Qur'an we are weak. So nobody on earth no matter how strong their faith is, no one will not experience pain. Pain is for everybody even.Even that person who betrayed you experienced great pain, but ALHAMDULILLAH coz you didnt became like that guy. See shaytan will never bother to tempt the evil people coz they're already partners in crime. This shaytan will go to clean people, or people who are trying and thinking of going back to ALLAH (SUBHANAWUTA'ALLAH). Yes we will fall countless times, but that is why in every Salah we recite BISMILLAH AR-RAHMAN, AR-RAHEEM (IN THE NAME OF ALLAH MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL). Never lose hope in ALLAH (SUBHNAWUTA'ALLAH), and dont say your not afraid to die. We should all be afraid to die coz we should not think that what we have done and what we have avoided for our deen is enough to meet us with our Lord. At the same time we have to always think good of ALLAH (AZZA WAJJAL), because HE is what HIS slaves think of HIM. Even our dear Seidna Muhammad (SAW) had experienced the greatest sufferings but see many Muslims and none Muslims look up to him. How we send prayers for me thousands of years now how many times a day. SUBHAN'ALLAH..Even Seidna Ibrahim (ALAYHI SALAM) he was made to choose between if how much he loves ALLAH (SUBHANAWUTA'ALLAH) , he was ordered to kill his beloved son.. and willingly he accepted and ALLAH (SUBHANAWUTA'ALLAH) said to replace him with a sheep. And we recall this incident until now SUBHAN'ALLAH..Inshallah all will be fine sister. Even I experienced and yes it's easy to give advise but it's hard to apply on yourself. But try, don't give up..cry and feel sel-pity now but stand up tomorrow.JAZZAKALLAKHAIR.I pray you have inner peace AMEEN.
I love my parents. I do a lot.
sp, Your comment (which I deleted) seems to have nothing to do with the post. If you have a question you can log in and write it as a separate post. Thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
First of all I want to say salam to all of you.Sara sister what u have written here,was great.I appreciate you sister.it was the perfect way to convince her.I want to say something to silent observer.just do what sara has mentioned here.And damn care about these things.
Happiness,sadness it's the parts of live.Obey your parents.Those who respects our parents they will never face the music.Hold the way of Allah,Do the tahajud,receite the Holly Quran and try to do good deeds.these things will help u in both world (here and also Aakhirat).having love and x,y,z these things won't help you.if u haven't completed your study,focus on your study.that's all.
I hope you would be understand what I said to you.try to understand.
And one thing I am not good in english.I might have done alots of mistake. plz ignore it.And try to understand what I have written here for you.
Salaam! I'm going through the same situation. Feeling betrayed and lost. Feeling tired and wanting inner peace but it seems so hard to get it. I also met this guy online, and i instantly felt attraction toward him. He was so friendly and gentleman, but that was just his mask i guess. I never want to judge him. I never talked to anyone over the phone before, not even with my cousins or girl friends, that's how shy i am, but he got me to talk to him. There's no particular topic, we would just laugh most of the time and joke. In less than 1month i fell for him, i was so silly. I felt good being inlove, it was bliss at first. But deep down inside i had this feeling that it would never work out, he is a stranger and i shouldnt trust him fully. He was secretive. But he would always assure me that he truly loves me, that i am his everything, i am his blessing, i am his sunshine, etc. It was confusing, but how would i know when there's noone else i could talk about it and advise me what to do. I had let my heart open for him and accept him for whatever he is and is not, i made myself vulnerable. We've been in relationship for 2months and in those 2months a can sometimes see the red flags that he is up to no good but ignored it. I chose to believe in the goodness in him. He was constantly in my prayers and i always ask Allah to protect us from commiting more sin and let us get married sooner. Less than a month ago we broke up. I broke up with him when after i confronted him over a girl he is chatting he asked for a cool off and went no contact instead of apologizing or explaining. I was never able to contact him again, he hides his posts on social media from me and ignores my messages. Not a single reply since the confrontation. I'm so hurt, i lost my appetite and i never want to leave my room. I am not angry with him because i know i was responsible for letting him in to my life but i jist can't stop the pain i am feeling. I constantly pray, asking forgiveness and for the pain to go away and is it okay that i i am also praying that he may feel the same way i feel for him? I mean all the good and bad feelings i feel for him. And that Allah soften his heart and regret all the things he had made me go through and come back to me and make everything right?
Sister your thought process is totally accurate just hold on ,i have a similar story and reading this made me realise how wrong we can be about people but thats just Allah's way of protecting us.
Nur,
Many girls like you have fallen in the same trap like you. Guys give you false hope and makes you feel like you are the one. Forget him because he is probably friends with many other girls on social media and playing with them too. You feel very hurt and betrayed. With time you will heal and you will thank Allah that he has sent you a learning lesson.