Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Husband cheats on me and touches our daughter

Divorced couple split in two


Asalamu alaikum,

I want to seek khula from my husband asap because he has never stood by me and neither stand up for me in any condition it was a love marriage. He said himself that he does not love me. He married because he wanted to come to UK. He just wanted my papers!

I wasn't surprised that he said that. I knew he would come up something like that some day which he accepted after the marriage i moved to Pakistan with him.

I had sacrifice everything i left everthing everyone for him. But he still betrayed me lied to me cheated on me i even have his two kids. He slept with many girls when he send me away from him. He has broken my trust and even raised hand on me. He strangled me and put the scarf inside my mouth and what i seeen this as i was on my periods and he raped in that condition.  Hes shetaan in my eyes. I dont know what other people think.

He even touched my daughter here and there. His own blood his own daughter. What kind of a father would do that to his own daughter ?

And his family always stole my jewelry and my clothes i never said anything. i wanted my husband to speak up for me but he never did i never said anything! I cooked for him washed his clothes besically i was a maid for him.

I asked him divorce but he rejected and he threats me that he would kill me than i can go!

I have a form to apply for khula, but the question is i dont have the nikkah naama with me, he has the nikkah nama.

Can i still apply for khula if i dont have the nikkah nama?


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23 Responses »

  1. Salam sister pack your stuff n leave and report to police spouse abuse.Teach him a lesson.You can divorce anytime ...This man has lost his Iman..My advice is learn Deen correctly send your kids to become educated as scholors then if they want to persue in a career then that's a bonus.....but Iman is the real gift and we all most obey the commandments of Allah and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH.

  2. Salam sister,

    Like the previous comment, please don't worry about getting a khulaq.
    If he is abusing your daughter, you must pack your things and leave now. Find your nearest women's shelter, or refuge and go there.
    Think of your daughter. You have suffered and cannot let your daughter suffer.
    Find a organisation for domestic victims and contact them. Find a way out from your situation.

    As for getting a divorce get away from him first then go to the sharia council to get the divorce. You dinf need a divorce to leave your husbands house. Leave then apply for khulaq. These things takes time. What's important it to get away now not wait for a divorce.

    You've mentioned he's violent. if you get a khulaq he may attack you or your children. So leave and then apply to get a khulaq if you want. Remember you don't need a khulaq to leave him. You can leave his house without one.

  3. I dont live with him i live with my parents in uk
    And he lives in pakistan or dubai i dont know what he does where he lives
    He just controls me
    If i dont answer his calls or dont amswers his text messages
    He start to ring my parents house phone number or calling my mum
    And dad
    And he accuses me for nothing
    He blamesss me for nothing
    My parents thinks i am wrong and i am
    Doing something wrong.
    I am living with my parents what would i do wrong i m alredy stressed out in depression i have been ill couple of times because noone is supporting me
    I dont live with him
    Its been 6 months now last time insaw him in dubai
    Thats it
    But we have not slept with each other since 2 years
    Because he raped me last two years back at periods condition
    I cant lay myself down front of him j am scared of a man who bully me like animal hit me beat me up
    Strangled me
    I didnt have strenghth to take a step forward
    But i have to do for my daughter
    He is a animal i dont want my daughter near him or niether my young son
    I dont know what is intention and what will he do next !
    But i am not living with him

    • Lol sorry sister You need to kill This man if He Will touch You daughter again He Is worse then a dog. Sorry You dont a wrong man You should leave him asap . You need to report This man to the police buy You should have any witness try to record him every conversation So It Can help You to put him in jail and if tour in Pakistan You Can inform UK embase That your life Is in danger with your daughter they Can help You get out from There and regarding the papers which are in process of your husband in uk You Can stop the process You Can do That for sure Just Be strong act Smart and inshallah You Will Win my dua's are with You and inshallah Allah Will help You and pls pls pls keep your eyes at your daughter she should Be the first pls sister

      • He is not in uk and i didnt apply for his papers because i knew he would do the same that hes doing now and my kids are with me! I have filed khula against him

      • Please don't advise people to 'kill' anyone,

        what her husband has done is abhorrent and unthinkable, yet that doesn't permit her to commit murder, nor would doing so bring her daughter any justice.

    • If He raped You in the back in islam your divorce for sure He Is not your husband You need to Be very careful with This Wild animal and look after your kids not let him come near them at all and Never let him touch the kids

  4. May Allah help you sister! Please leave this man asap. No arguement over that. As the above comment said first leave then apply for khulla. I suplose you are in UK. If yes then report him to Police.

  5. Do you live in Pakistan or UK? In UK I am sure you can get your husband in jail for incest or child sex abuse. What kind of proof you have that your husband abused your daughter?

    • I saw him touching her and stopped him for doing that he changed the topic that i was onlii massaging her!
      Why would a father massage like that !!
      He is not in UK
      I AM IN UK
      he is in dubai or pakistani i dont know
      But i am
      In uk manchester
      He is not here

      • Tooba: I saw him touching her and stopped him for doing that he changed the topic that i was onlii massaging her! Why would a father massage like that !! He is not in UK I AM IN UK

        If your husband can touch his own daughter (sexually) what can prevent him from abusing other little girls. He is a danger to kids any where he lives. Is he trying to move to UK?

  6. He touched your daughter!! why are you waiting for??? You need to get out of there. NOW!!! You always can divorce him later, don't worry about that, you need to report him to the police for abusing you and your daughter!!! You live in the UK so it shouldn't be a problem insh'Allah

  7. Good that you don't stay with him so easy to get divorce ..why you fall for such a person from country like Pakistan known for all wrong reasons .I think you can file dvorce 'khula from UK

  8. Shoot him out .

  9. My dear sister, please please leave and report him. This behaviour is not okay wallahi. I feel for you and I'm soooo sorry you and your child have to go through this. You're in my prayers

  10. Gentle Lady

    Lodge a complaint against him. Torture him the way he has tortured you and your daughter. One complaint from you might not even allow him to enter the lands of UK. Is he a physcho ? Or a mental patient ? Wonder how your parents are blaming you and trusting him. So digusting. Threaten him with dire consequences. If he still bothers you .. Do all as per the consequences. He should be stoned to death. Worse than even a Pig.

    • Parents dont know about this either
      I cant tell
      As being a mother of my daughter i m gutted by what i saw
      I cant face my parents and tell them
      I did love marriage and theynwere all against me
      Cuz they always said he will leav me he s using me thats all
      I didnt listen i loved him
      Alot did everything that i could to make him happy but i dont know whT he wanted from
      Touchin his own blood indont know why he thought of doing that and he prays 5 times a day i dont know if allah will ever accept his prayerss tbh

  11. i am very very sorry for what happened with you and ur daughter. first of all.... leave him... go to another country or another place.. end all ur contact with him.. donot talk to him.. let him be alone for a looongg loong time... allah will teach him a very good lesson my sister.. just wait and watch what happens....

    • I want to ask someone please answer me
      I have sent the khula to him but what i am worried about is that i dont have any witness
      Because he always kept me near his mum and his sis i never gt a chance to gonout or make any friends
      And which i had friends i had to break up with them because he said he never trusted me.
      So for his sake i did everything
      So please advise me
      What shall i do for witness in khula if i m asked
      Shall i explain why i dont have witness or what is going tk happen ?
      I am sure he will disgust me and will
      Go against me
      Any nasty way he can!

  12. I have sent out the khula to him hopefully i get justice.
    I was sick and tired of this life felt like caught behind bars and noone is letting me go
    Now that i m
    Out feel like i can breath again

  13. Sister i would absolutely contact the authorities, this man has threatened your life, raped you, and molested his own daughter in front of you, there can be no good in such a man,

    stopping him when he decides to molest her, is not adequate, your responsibility as her mother is to ensure that this man cannot harm her ever again in this way,

    May Allah protect you and your child and make everything easy for you.....

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