Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband is desperate to have a child of his own.

father and baby


My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 3 years. I am 29 years old and he is 31 years old, and the doctor had diagnosed me as Post menopausal therefore lacking egg production since my hormone levels are too high.

Since the past 6 months I have been on medication that a doctor in Pakistan has referred me to and my hormone levels have dropped significantly placing them in normal range in order to get pregnant.  But because of my history of irregular periods and lack of egg production I am worried that I will not be able to conceive. Well we will find out when I go to Pakistan on the 1st of June if I have been making eggs due to the medication and if there is still hope that I can be pregnant Inshallah.

My question is that if we have bad news and the doctor says that I cannot be pregnant, then what other options do I have that are acceptable in Islam in order to have a child? My husband is desperate to have his own child and he is not willing to adopt, so please give me some advice as to what I can do to raise a child that is my husband's within Islam? Can you please advise me on the egg donor option as well?


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3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I think you might have meant your diagnosis differently, as "post menopausal" only applies to women who have reached and completed menopause (post means "after")- which usually happens in your 50's. At your age this could not have happened, but you may suffer from perimenopause or premature menopause.

    At any rate, you did tell us that you are having hormone imbalances that are keeping you from becoming pregnant. In a woman's menstrual cycle, there are several hormones that play a role in ovulation. Estrogen, which levels tend to lower during menopause, is needed in the begining part of a ladie's cycle. If your levels are too low, you may have poor quality cervical fluid or a thin uterine lining which prevents conception and implantation, but doesn't necessarily prevent ovulation. Ovulation is the result of two hormones: follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone both working together to get your ovary to release an egg. Once the egg is released, progesterone works to either help a fertilized egg thrive or prepare the uterus for a mense. Progesterone generally does not have anything to do with one's ability to ovulate, as it takes place after the egg is released. However, low levels of progesterone could cause a hostile uterine environment which causes the fertilized egg to be discharged before it can implant and grow on its own.

    You don't need help producing eggs, because all the eggs a woman will ever have are already present in her body when she's born as a baby. What you need help with is getting those eggs out of your ovaries and in a place where they could be fertilized by your husband's sperm and create a baby. If you are having hormonal issues, the root cause may be problems with your thyroid. Having too high or too low thyroid issues have been linked to infertility, so make sure you have this checked.

    It may be that your follicle stimulating hormones or luteinizing hormones are not doing their job at the proper time, and so no eggs ever get released. The good news is, not being able to ovulate (assuming your progesterone levels are adequate to sustain a pregnancy) is something that is treatable, so there's no need to start worrying about egg donors and such. Generally, doctors will start treating infertility from this angle with a drug called Clomid (Clomiphene-generic version) to stimulate your ovary to release an egg. It is the first and most "natural" approach to trying to get the body to work properly . I would suggest you talk to your doctor about trying this before thinking about other approaches.

    I can tell you personally that I too had infertility problems when I was only 21, and it was very scary and emotionally painful. I started to believe I would never have children, and it was tough because none of the doctors seemed to know what was causing it. After almost 2 years and several tweaks with my hormones without results, I was given a round of Clomid, and I got pregnant right away! After that, I never had any problems conceiving naturally and went on to have 4 additional pregnancies without any interventions needed. Sometimes just getting pregnant the first time "fixes" whatever is out of balance and the body works as it should after that.

    I recommend you get a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It is a great resource to help you understand your body and know what may be going on, and how to solve any problems that arise. It is invaluable for those who are trying to get pregnant but are having difficulty.

    -Amy Editor

  2. which doctor in pakistan did u go to?
    n where that doctor is available ?
    i alao have same problem as u so if u can tell me the doctor name n number n address so i might be able to go.
    Which place in pakistan?

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