Husband does not provide for me
(Posted by Wael on behalf of "Poor Sister").
Al-salaam Alaykum
Inshallah you will be able to help me with a dilemma. It is not possible to go into great detail but I will briefly try to tell you what it is that bothers me. If I lie in what I say my punishment is by Allah but I will not.
I have not been married long (this is my second marriage), after almost ten yrs of being single I remarried, I gave up my home, moved to a new city, gave up a job so you can understand that in moving in with my husband i became fully reliant and dependent on him. My husband is not without money and Alhamduallah as he reminds me he is comfortable but he has worked very hard for his money.
He is also quick to tell me that with his ex he furnished her with everything she ever wanted and she never had to work. It was because of my husband that i rejected numerous job opportunties in the city he lives in and in doing so I resorted myself to being penniless for almost two months because my husband to date has given me £30.
I recently got a job and I prayed my thanks for I deseprately needed it because I need clothes, underwear, my child needs things of which I had to ask for because i needed it for my school for my daughter and to get lunch at work because i'd gone without for many days and I was getting hungry.
My husband has to been to Haj numerous times and done Umrah too, he prays 5 times a day, he does salat al-layal.
But he does not provide for me.
- poor sister
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Salaams Sabrah,
I am sorry for your suffering. So your husband prays and has been to Hajj, he states he is comfortable financially and throws in your face how his ex wife was a well kept woman.
He married you, thus he is duty bound to support you financially. He is so busy praying and going to Hajj, that is all well and good but not on their own. Islam is a way of life and we all have worldly duites that must also be adhered to as well. How about he read the Qur'an and authentic hadith on the rights of women and the duties a husband must carry out? From what you say, he is mistreating you and no amount of prayer can compensate for that surely?
I suggest you compile evidence from Qur'an and hadith and if he is so strong in his faith then surely he cannot go against that.
It may well be the failure of his first marriage has affected him in such a way that he is wary of doing things the same way. That is totally unfair, since why should you bear that baggage? He provided for his first wife but that was not enough for her, so he may think he's not going to do the same to you. From the way you have described it, he probably spoilt his first wife and gave into her every whim. However, now he has gone the opposite way and become do miserly.
How is your relationship overall? Would he take the time to listen to you and respect what you say? You say you needed things for your daughter, if he has married you then he ought to act like a guardian for your daughter and assist you with her requirements.
I hope you can work things out, Insha'Allah,
Hopeful
salam i am in a similar situation my husband is a imam pray 5 times a day works in a mosque i have one child how is eight months old my husband started working 2 months ago and has a good wage i am currently not working as my son is a baby and i am pregnant he has not supported me since he has recieved this job i have had £30 from him i am having to pay the rent on a very low income i cant buy clothing for myself and are i need of them as my belly is swelling due to pregnancy can anyone advise me i can also not go a visit my brother abroad who i have not seen foer 2 year and he has not meet my son because i can not afford it please could some one advise me
Salamualaikum sister,
It's funny how some men r so religious and then act like this. Well its not funny its a shame
Y is he not supporting u financially?
U said that he said has showed his first wife. with everything b4, y isn't he doin it now?
Did something happened between u guys?
How can he not give u money!
He clearly knows that u have things to buy.
U said, u have gone without food for many days. Where was he at that time?
Make him sit down and tell him that we are husband and wife, and its ur responsibility to take care of me
If he's so religious, doesn't he know Tats his duty!
If he still doesn't support u, forget it.
Mashallah u have ur own job, and u can just keep tat money to provide for urself and ur daughter.
Tell him to give u money for food, or if he doesn't trust u, tell him to go buy it.
Inshallah Allah shall open his brain up and make him realize he has to take care of his wife.