Husband left me 11 years ago, but won’t divorce me
I am new member, I would like to share my story hope i can find a solution with you as i couldn't since year 2000. I have 4 children all boys, I am 49 yrs old now, my husband divorced me orally in year 2000, but until now he is refusing to give me my divorce legally as a paper in court. He got married another one and he abandoned me since yr 2000. 
He is living his life, has his wife and my children and money. I mean he has everything, he is supposed to be a very strict muslim, how can he show he is a very strict muslim, pray, goes to mosque, fast in Ramadan and monday and thursday, but he is leaving me with nothing, no divorce paper.
My parents died so i am still living in my house which is for my husband, he ruined my life. I could get married again if he would give me my paper divorce but still stubborn refusing 11 years now passed from my life.
My children, 2 of them got married have kids too, everybody is living his life. He says to his children he is not divorcing me because of them, i tried for 3 years in court and lawyer but seems he was giving them money to not listen to me. But i didn't see him even by coincidence all those 11 years, we did not see each other at all for 11 years.
Please help me what can I do?
How can I get married in my case?
11 years ago I wanted divorce so i can get married but now I am confused. I am 49, isnt it haram. I am confused because years are passing, I am growing up and my risk to marry is less than before. He ruined my age.
I hope I can find an answer, solve, dua, anything that help
Thank you.
- radar
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Salaam,
May Allah ease your torture and help you to find your way.
What an extremely selfish and heartless man, it's ok for him to go off and find another woman but he won't allow you to move on and find another man? Allah SWT will surely strike such a man down on the day of resurrection for the hypocricy.
There are measure in Islam all praise be to Allah, for all issues. You need not worry, I don't have the hadith, but there is one which refers to you being able to go to a Muslim court/judge to finalise such issues and help you out. I would suggest you speak to the Islamic scholars and leaders about this matter as there will be laws in Sharia which can help you out.
As for your patience, wow 11 years, Allah knows best, he will know the patience youhave shown and you will be rewarded. Islam says you must divorce under Sharia before you can marry again, so please adhere to this whilst you can and then Insha'allah your patience will be rewarded.
Asalaamualaykum Dear Sister,
I am sorry that you are going through this difficult time. It is unfair for this man to have left you to linger. He should either keep you as a wife and give your full rights or divorce you so you can move on. There is no inbetween.
In such cases, I will always advise one to consult with a qualified Imam/Mufti. He will be able to advise you best and inshaAllah you will find a way forward. Of course it is not haraam for a lady to re-marry at your age, or any age for that matter. Marriage has been gifted to us for our protection and enjoyment; so look forward inshaAllah.
Sister, recite this dua often: "Our Lord! Grant unto us a spouse and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." (Al-qur'an 25:74) Aameen!!! : )
Eid Mubarak and Salaams,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam alaikum wa rahmat allah w barakatou
i appreciate your stand by me and feel with me , i already went to court and i had a lawyer ,for 2 and half years until i got fed up following my case , i feel it was him behind this because i felt the sheikh was postponing my case in each time my lawyer and i go to court till i got fed up with this , yes he could do it
sigh ,what he has done to me ,he ruined my age and let it run so i don't get marry
what can i say
i am still in the same condition now ,la hawla wala kiwwa w hasbya allah w ni3ma el wakil