Islamic marriage advice and family advice

my husband is probably looking for another girl

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Salam alleikom,

I need an advice what to do. Me and my husband married one month ago (islamic nikkah + official civil marriage on council too. We live in UK also, he is married officially as well). It seems he is in love with me. He is very kind to me, cares about me etc. But I think it's not true.

Today I found out he is still an active member of one famous muslim dating site (where I met him) and that he is looking for a girl. And in his profile there is written : he is "single". We never had big problems between us, we are newly married, and I really loved him. But now I really don't know...

Please, advise me what I shall do? Shall I tell him what I found out, 0r shall I wait and give him a chance?

Thank you very much, .Jazakallahu khairan


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4 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    You say you've only been married a month, so I can't help but wonder if perhaps what you see is an old profile he forgot to take down once he married you. How do you know for certain he is still active on it and talking to other women through it? Having a profile up doens't mean anything. You can make a profile on a site and it still be there months or years later, with all the same information that you entered when you created it (for example, listing you as "single"). The real question is, how did you find out about this if you were not on a dating site to find it, or otherwise snooping through his personal things?

    If you really are concerned, talk to him about it. If he's truly committed to you, he should have no problem deleting the profile and moving on with you as he's been- treating you with kindness and love. If he tells you it's an old profile and that he's not actually on there anymore, give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have other proof otherwise.

    If you do have some other indications that he is actively talking or looking for other women, then there is a possibility that he is not being completely loyal to you. You have to decide if you can live with that or not, or to what degree. My personal feeling is that no woman should devalue herself by remaining married to someone who is not committed to her exclusively. Would you be willing to enter into polygamy with him? Is that something he might want eventually? There is no way to solve these problems or get the clarification you need to decide how to respond without talking to him. Suspicion alone is never enough to make plans off of.

    Talk to your husband and see what comes of it. I believe your heart will see what his true intentions are when you do, in shaa Allah, and that will help you decide what you want to do with this.

    -Amy Editor

    • Being a male reader....I totally agree with AMY - we Men are least bothered to go back to site(s) to change, edit or delete for that matter our Profile(s) whatever the outcome might have been success or failure through that site(s)...

      So chill sister and enjoy the beginning days of your married life for these are never gonna come back and your Hubby could counter question you "Fine I agree that I am active on the SITE but what on earth were you doing...INACTIVE BROWSING ? Or Spying on me ?"

      Don't ruin your Newly blessed life with BASELESS thoughts such as this...Don't give up your Trust on him and Loose his either...Stay Happy and Keep him Happy!!!

      Lastly, Your Husband will be the BEST to answer this question that's bothering you...ask in a lighter tone to make it seem concerned and funny at the same time! Cheers!!!

      May Allah Bless you and your Husband with health, wealth, prosperity, children and a Long Life Together with Trust and Understanding! Amen

  2. Just talk to him really nice show him extra love show him that no one can take care of him the way you day and than ask him nicely as general question to see if he lies or tell truth you need to calm yourself down be sweet and all nice control your anger too ask him see what he says if his answer is no than you know he lies to you and tell him how much you love him and also that you know he is lying you are his wife only his you are his woman no one else can have him dont let it be too late resolve him a girl can do anything turn and twist a mańs head

  3. asalamu alaikum,

    before jumping to conclusion, when was the last time he logged in? on the profile it says when the user been last active. also if he is being active on a daily basis then bring to his attention. if he logged in a one off, it may be possible he just checking his messages. its only been a month its possible he still getting messages.

    ma salama..

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