Husband’s mother is constantly asking us to christen the baby
Salaams, my husband and me are both Muslim converts. His family are greek orthodox and mine don´t believe in anything. They do not know we are converts as we have kept it secret for 4 years now even though we want to tell them we cant risk losing them and my husband's family will basically disown him.
We have a son together who is not one year old yet. We want to bring him up islamically but as I just said we can´t be open about it.
My husband´s mother is constantly asking us to christen the baby under her faith as thats what is the norm. We are at our wits end thinking about the right choice to make. Also we don´t want our son to be singled out and grow up without his family around and have to hide his beliefs like us it´s not fair.
Thank you
- hakeema and alex
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As salamu alaykum alex,
Congratulations, your baby has come to this world full of Light, Alhamdulillah, as all the babies do, Alhamdulillah. You have been keeping you are muslims as a secret, and this secret has no sense to be any longer.
I do understand and akcnowledge the weight of the decision of telling or not that you are muslims, but if you want to grow up your child as a believer, I don´t think you have any other chance that talk to all your family about it, if not your child when begins to speak will do it for you, and I don´t think he deserves the responsibility.
Sister, your families may get annoyed and dissapointed but at the end they are your family and knowing the way family functions they will fight with you to give their beliefs to your baby, if they are the way I think they are, this will be a fight forever, but it will increase your need of getting closer to Allah(swt) to be able to stand the situation, then consider it a blessing whatever happens and get rid of the veil of secrecy and be a living example of muslim family to everyone around you, family included, insha´Allah.
May Allah)swt) gives you the strength to bring to Light what has been hidden, to grow up your child in the Light of Islam and to help others to learn to respect your right to choose the Religion of Peace. Ameen.
All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaykum Sister,
Advice given by sister Maria fits well in to your life, Insha Allah, you will be able to be free Muslims soon.
Masha Allah, you are Muslims 🙂 Wallaah !! I get lot of peace on this website hearing so many people having hearts turning to Allah. Subhaan Allah.
My job is just to turn you to the revelations of Allah. Am sure you read the Qur'an translation in your languages.
The Qur'an deals in great detail about this subject of "proclaimation" of faith. Being open about it. Once you read the Qur'an again and again, insha Allah it will develop in you a psychology and courage to speak about it in places and in front of people you would never imagine.
Before I used to be like, keep quite in places where there were non Muslims or many Muslims who did wrong things in religion. But when I started to read the Qur'an narratives, understand their meanings, I started to talk about Islam to people and in places where I could not before and that too without any fear.
The subject of fear find mentions in narratives of the previous Prophets. This is why the Qur'an has repeated narratives of Moses and other Prophets, not just because they speak of Allah and the message of the Prophets, but they develop a thinking, a thought process, they tell our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) , that Moses (peace be upon him) was sent to a more tougher person and more Powerful than the Makkan pagans, he was sent to Pharoah. The King of Egypt. And Moses feared he would harm him when he would talk of Allah, but Allah assured, I am with you and your brother.
Similarly, when Lot (peace be upon him) feared his people, Allah sent angels to destroy wrong doers.
And when Noah cried to Allah, how his people mocked at his Message, Allah assured him nto to fear but to build the ship.
And when Salih and Shuayb and Hud and Yunus and Joseph (peace be upon them) sought Allah's help, he removed their fears, increased their wisdom and helped them. So by these narratives in the Qur'an, Allah enforces the fact to the Prophet's heart that He is with the Truth, He is with the Messengers and He is with the believers.
32. And those who disbelieve say: Why is the Qur’an not revealed unto him all at once? (It is revealed) thus that We may strengthen thy heart therewith; and We have arranged it in right order. - Surah Furqaan.
Therefore the Qur'an and its narratives are sure to strengthen our hearts if we believe in Allah, for a surety.
So however averse the pagans, people of the book, the disbelievers may be, Allah would help the believers.
So read the Qur'an again and again and you will Insha Allah have the courage to proclaim your faith openly to your family and practice it with ease.
Further to this, Allah says in Surah Baqarah:
119. Lo! We have sent thee (O Muhammad) with the truth, a bringer of glad tidings and a warner. And thou wilt not be asked about the owners of hell fire.
120. And the Jews will not be pleased with thee, nor will the Christians, till thou follow their creed. Say: Lo! The guidance of Allah (Himself) is Guidance. And if thou shouldst follow their desires after the knowledge which hath come unto thee, then wouldst thou have from Allah no protecting friend nor helper.
257. Allah is the Protecting Friend of those who believe. He bringeth them out of darkness into light. As for those who disbelieve, their patrons are false deities. They bring them out of light into darkness. Such are rightful owners of the Fire. They will abide therein.
And indeed one of the best prayers from the Qur'an and especially for this situation you are in now, is from Surah Baqarah, the last verse:
286. Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Lord! Lay not on us such a burden as Thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us, Thou, our Protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk.
And a warning as well as assurance from Allah in Surah Al Imraan:
149. O ye who believe! If ye obey those who disbelieve, they will make you turn back on your heels, and ye turn back as losers.
150. But Allah is your Protector, and He is the best of helpers.
And one of the most inspiring verses of the Qur'an for anyone who believes in Allah and seeks to proclaim the Message of Islam:
67. O Messenger! Make known that which hath been revealed unto thee from thy Lord, for if thou do it not, thou will not have conveyed His message. Allah will protect thee from mankind. Lo! Allah guideth not the disbelieving folk. - Surah Al Maidah.
Sister, I hope Allah inspires you by the Qur'an and gives you the courage to move ahead in your Islamic life and protects you and your family.
I would like to end with some verses of Surah Kahf, also prayer to Allah, please keep on repeating them with your heart:
Our Lord! Give us mercy from Thy presence and shape for us right conduct in our plight.
That which Allah wilteth (will come to pass)! There is no strength save in Allah!
In this case is protection only from Allah, the True. He is best for reward, and best for consequence.
This du'aa really really helps !! It does help and help quick ! Insha Allah.
Salaam, keep us updated with your situation sister.
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Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.
MashaALLAH sister, i 100% agree with the opinion that it is time for u to speak out ur faith and become a leaving example to ur family and to those arround you. . . Sister you are thinking that you will be owned if ur families know about ur conversion but then sister, you would'nt know how Almighty Allah will operates his ways. . . . If ur husband opens up to his mother dictating to her d reasons why he embraced islam, explaining d beauties of islam, explaining d concept of islam, and removing and denouncing d misconception people have about islam., this will a sufficient reason for ur parents to understand ur point of view . . . Give them reasons after reasons as regard d authenticity of d deen, explain to them about d massengership of d prophet(SAW), his miraculous proof. . . I trust they not only give u freedom, they will inshaALLAH Embrace d deen.. Give them copies of d quran which has eng. Translation and finally pray to Allah 4 guadiance . . . . . . . . Pls if u need any help as regard proofs and authenticity of d deen, u can contact us here. . . . May GOD HELP U IN THE COURSE OF TAking ur task. . . . Salaam
Love,
'Easy' does not enter the grown up mind. I'm Roman Catholic and married a Pakistani Muslim. My mother wanted our children to either be Christians or give them the option to choose. Without even asking my husband I said, no. Because it is not her place to choose for my children. We are the parents and we'll decide. Whatever we decide will be the best for our child. We certainly won't choose anything harmful for our children.
And I suggest you the same. You have to put your foot down. Even if it makes your family unhappy. They'll come around, just give it time and be firm.