Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Husband on drugs

A person's drug addiction doesn't just affect them - it affects everyone around them, too.

Asalam a lai kum,

i have been married to my husband for 2 and a half years now. We have a daughter together maa sha Allah and we purchased our own house from the 1st day we got married.

As soon as we were married my husband started taking cocaine, i wouldnt say it was an addiction at this point but despite how much i told him to stop he didn't listen. I was expecting my daughter and my husband started on crack cocaine and has now got a severe addiction.

I am struggling financially as i stopped working to raise my daughter and everything he earns he is feeding his addiction with. I have tried to seek help from his family but they are not interested and have never been happy to acccept our rishtaa from day one.

I really want to try and help my husband but he has become a very big liar he keeps saying he will get help but it doesnt seem he wants to. My mortgage is goin in arrears so is my council tax. I am scared he will have our house repossessed and i will become bankrupt. The issue isnt on money here i am scared without home, food, money how can i raise my daughter?

i have thought about a seperation to see if i can give him a chance to make things better just wanted to know if i do this how long can we be separated without it turning into a divorce?

also my mum has found out from someone in pakistan who apparently has ilim about my circumstances and they have said "ur son in law will never change despite how hard ur dau"

Sakhalin

 

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3 Responses »

  1. Bismillah, ok the guy in Pakistan with "ilm" is dealing with jinn/black magic (if he's not a fake) so i would highly recommend cut all ties with anyone like that because they can do black magic and make your husband or any family memebr do bad things like your husband is doing!! Please pray 5 times a day read ayat ul qursi before you go to sleep clensify your house of any thing that might be un islamic (there are lots of videos on youtube to help with that) make your house a house of where name of Allah is mentioned and InshAllah Allah will help stay asking Allah for help!!

  2. Don't involve too many people in your relationship the more people you have involved in your relationship the more problems you are going to see also ask your mom to stop going to these "holy men" and seek Allahs forgiveness seek knowledge from the quran and sunnah!
    When we deal with people like that we leave the fold of islam!

  3. Assalaamualaykum Sakhalin,

    I am so sorry to hear this...it breaks my heart that you are going through this. You ask:

    "i have thought about a seperation to see if i can give him a chance to make things better just wanted to know if i do this how long can we be separated without it turning into a divorce?"

    Separation will not automatically turn into divorce at any point, but it will give you time and space to think about the marriage and quite possibly be good for both you and your daughter. I would strongly recommend it, as your husband probably needs this to realize the consequences of his drug addiction. As far as him changing, only Allah knows, but you can pray to Him that things improve for your family. You can continue to communicate to your husband from afar that he needs to enter drug rehabilitation.

    Hugs,

    Nor

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