Husband is searching the internet for escort girls. What should I do?
cheating husband
I found out that my husband is searching on the Internet for escort girls. I found out by mistake that he is entering a lot of escort site in the same day and than he entered a hotel reservation what should I do. I don't know if he cheating on me he always goes out in the night. I need your help kindly advise what should I do?
-louna
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Asalaamualaykum Louna,
Speak to your husband, don't accuse him, instead tell him what you have found on the computer and then ask him to explain it. At the same time, are you sure that no one else has been using your computer? If someone has, there is a chance that your husband has nothing to do with your findings.
Apart from this: What is your husband's character like? Does he come across to you as a God fearing and a striving Muslim? What is your relationship like with him?
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Best thing is to be open, talk, ask, lay the findings on the table and get to the bottom of it.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister,
This is my opinion on the matter. Do not say a word, pretend all is well. The moment you open up your mouth about the computer and what you found, he is going to take steps to be very careful afterwards if in fact he is up to no good. He hasn't a clue how sloppy he is and what he is leaving on your computer for you to find. Slowly but surely, gather up your evidence so when you sit down with him, you are able to prove what you have found.
Also, as Sister Z stated above...is he the only male in your home to use the computer? You don't want to go and accuse your husband of something of this nature especially if there are other men in the house who use the computer.
May Allah help you and lift your heart, I cannot even begin to imagine how devastated you feel if in fact your husband is being unfaithful to you.
If you find without a doubt that your husband is in fact a cheating, conniving pathetic excuse of a man, look to your family for guidance. Any man who creeps around like this, does not deserve a wonderful woman such as yourself.
Salam
Sister
You should also question him about his whereabouts at night. Rememeber you are his wife: you have a right to know where he is at night!
Rumaysa
remind him that in islaam, the punishment for cheating is stoning to death, so if that is the punishment in this world, then how will it be for someone who got away with it in this world without making sincere tawbah.
Salaam,
Ask him where he goes in the nights While leaving You behind. Tell him, "I have bad feelings about this so at least let me know." Tell him You get bored at home and Can't stay by yourself. Just make him busy and be a little Friendly with your actions. Wa'salaamu Caleykum Warahmatullah.
Follow him , or hire a private investigator, depending on where you are you can find them in directory listings.
Get him to give you undisputable proof.
Why? Because if you confront him without hard evidence not only will he deny it , he will go on the defensive (which is what they do) and turn it against you and make your life hell.
So dont say a word, let him go out, get the evidence and then play along and ask him what and where he went, let him openly lie then confront him with the evidence.
After that, you will have him in a predicament he will feel vunerable and ashamed and i feel sorry for him because he is stooping so low and for the wrong reasons jepordizing his life and stability. And im sure inside he doesnt want to loose you but shaitan has effected his choices.
No matter what you choose never reveal his secret or publicly shame him because Allah has covered for him. Its hard because you will feel betrayed which is expected but ive heard of many women whom have managed to forgive, you are not alone in this.
If he genuinely seeks forgiveness, you will have an opportunity to start fresh with him. Know its not your fault (some men will lay blame on women to justify that so i hope he doesnt say things like that) but if he does regret it then remember that Allah forgives and if youre capable so can you, but if you do forgive dont keep rubbing his nose in it, make sure you genuinely have taken your time to stick to your descision as he should too. Take this opportunity for both of you to seek a more islamic way of life, pray together , listen to hadeeth and quraan, when it enters his heart this will keep him far from sin because this is the beauty of Islam, the closer you get to it the more stable the family and lifestyle.
May Allah open his heart and mind to repentance and bring back the stability to your household
Inshallah