Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband wants the mahr back, but he owes me the same amount!

Dowry, mahr, woman on a scale, woman and money
"O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality." (Surah Nisa, Ayah 19)

Assalam alikum,

I am a female who lives in the United States. I got married to a gentleman last year on March 2011.

After few months, my husband was not taking care of me financially.

He was also very stubborn and was creating a lot of havoc in the house, which was very hard for me and my kids from previous relationship. My husband was accusing me of a lot things which were not true including cheating on him. My husband would like to fight as soon as he comes home and sometimes every night at 2am or even 4am.

I tried to do what he wanted but he was always making up new stories. After many fights, I tried to convince him to leave me and divorce me, he would say he would but the next day he would apologize and say he will try to do better.

I got him out of the house after many attempts of fixing our relationship after 5 months or less (end of june) of marriage because my kids were having nightmares and we couldn't sleep when he was home because of his aggressiveness! More attempts were made on my part to get back together but he would always promise and fight after we start talking again.

Please advise me how to get divorced from him since its been almost a year since our seperation and he doesn't take care of me and give me my rights. Please note that he insisted that he will never divorce me!

The other thing is that we got married in the mosque only and there are no documents between us! We met with the sheikh who did our nikah to get divorced and I agreed to give him back the dowry but when I recalled that my husband owes me the same amount of money, the sheikh didn't accept that and said I would have to pay him back as agreed upon.

How is it right that I give that money that he owes me on other matter? Please help thank you!


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1 Responses »

  1. Give him back the mahr minus the value of whatever money he owes you. If it's exactly the same, then there's no need to return anything. It could be the Sheikh did not believe you, so make sure you have receipts to prove what he owes you (bank withdrawals, or a written contract, or something showing the exact amount he owes you). You could write a letter stating exactly how much you have loaned him versus the amount of the mahr.

    Wael Editor

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