Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband will not work

unwanted houseguest, lazy man, too much tvasalamu aleykum. i am a girl of 23 yrs old got married last year. now i have one child a baby boy.

my problem is my husband not active do plan or do something better for us. his salary not enough for us but he dont have plan to how to manage his family. i bought a bike to work as taxi but he dont even that bike to work. he's just relaxing.

we have tental house and he dont look for tenant to rent the house. today our baby need many things. Allah was given us but he dont know how to manage. am stress. if i told he will agree but not doing. his just doing by words but not action. beside this am pregnant again.

please am confused advice me.

- ferina

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8 Responses »


    -Go to the link above there are various dua's on there for increasing rizq

    • as-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah,

      Keep in mind that action and hard work always comes before putting our trust in Allah.

      The more we study the seerah, the more it's clear that before the duaa of anyone could be answered, our Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam and the companions tried and struggled hard, and then tawakal in Allah (i.e. leave the rest with Allah).

      For example, even when Allah helped the Muslims with 1000 special angels sent during Badr, the angels didn't do anything until the Muslims first raised their sword - i.e. the companions had to go as far as even raising their swords and before the strike, the angels took the rest of the action.

      Another example is the story of when the Qureish gathered to assassinate our Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam, before that night, Abu Bakr, his family, and our Prophet spent a long time planning the exact route of escape, and even going as far as covering their tracks after they left Makkah, and Abu Bakr even made sure that his family would have enough to survive while away.

      i.e. I can make as much duaa as I want while sitting at home, but the rizq won't automatically come to me.

      As for my reply to sister Ferina: speak to your husband about your situation, communication is very important. And if he's lazy after that, then keep reminding him every few days.
      I think you mentioned you're also working?
      And it may be that your husband may be taking advantage of that fact, by living from your money, which is not correct. And this is one of the problems of when a wife works - your husband is the first who should be providing for you, and when you're both comfortable and he gives permission to work, then alhamdulillah you can work, but the husband should be primarily supporting his wife. i.e. some men will use the kind-hearted nature of their wife to take money from her without shame.

      Also remember to constantly thank Allah for even 1 grain of rice, and especially your health and shelter, etc - because the more we thank Allah, inshAllah the more Allah will bless us.

      "And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' "
      [Qur'aan, 14:7]

      "Why should Allah punish you if you are grateful and believe? And ever is Allah Appreciative and Knowing."
      [Qur'aan, 4:147]

      "Thus do We reward he who is grateful."
      [Qur'aan, 54:35]

      Take care,
      was-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah.

      • Keep in mind that action and hard work always comes before putting our trust in Allah.

        I understand your point, but I would say at the same time, not before.

        Wael Editor

      • The op clearly stated her husband does work so maybe duas can help increase the rizq/salary.

        " i.e. I can make as much duaa as I want while sitting at home, but the rizq won't automatically come to me."

        -That's common sense mr Einstein, by giving the Op some dua's to help her in the situation does not mean that I was implying she or her husband should just sit at home and only make dua for more money

  2. SALAM
    I do suggest to get a coil fitted in after this pregnancy or use contraception in future until he is able to provide.
    Maybe it's his young age and he should have had a lot growing up to do before his parents flogged him off to you.

    • i agree.

      But first dua then action.

      No any particular dua is necessary, but it is better to perform 2 raka salah then ask Allah's help about action being taken.

      Abdul Sattar

  3. Congratulations on your pregnancy sister!!

    You say your husband works but his wage is not sufficient,

    Is your husband aware of the condition of your finances? he may not realize that you are struggling, I think you need to have a serious conversation with your husband, perhaps draw up a list of expenditures/things you need for the impending baby and show him exactly how his salary falls short,

    try to take it easy sister your pregnant and stress is not good for the baby, stay calm whilst talking to your husband but be firm,

    Alhamdulliah that fact he does actually work does show he is does realize his responsibility, as least to a degree, so at least there is some hope for you to work with,

    All the best sister i hope you can resolve this issue


  4. Dear Sister

    Your husband needs kicks, shocks or inspiration to start earning money

    I have following strategies in mind for you.

    1.Ask your or his parents to make him understand.

    2. Ask your female friends. They may be able to advise you some proper method of convincing.

    3. Give your husband examples of successful people starting from a penny and able to rise above all odds.

    Show him the movie of The Pursuit of Happyness in a happy mood. This might inspire him.

    Take Care

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