Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am 34 muslim woman and not married yet!

Hijabi woman with veil drawn over her face, half face

Well...yes i know! what am i waiting for? my story is: i moved to the states when i was 18 to attend college, my first time away from home! someone can imagine how overwhelming that was. I can say since moving here, i have been really stressed, did go back home to see if i can fit...unfortunately i felt lost, could not re-adjust, it does feel like i don't belong at all!

To make my story briefer, my whole family is mad at me since i never really got married or i was picky at times and scared of this commitment called marriage.... but i find it hard to settle when your always stressed about bills and money...etc!   i always felt when men approached me that nope, i shouldn't go for the wrong person just because my life is a mess! i mean how can you marry to end your problems, and then show all your financial weaknesses and vulnerability! many says i really stopped things from happening with my negativity! I can't help but being negative, anxious, frustrated and feeling like i just want be alone. I mean with my sleeping disorder how can i get married for real? May God makes it easy for all those who are suffering silently, because they are living how someone else expect them to live!

salma33

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7 Responses »

  1. Do you feel comfortable with your life now?

  2. How can you have a fear just coz do not wanna get married, well marriage is a beautiful thing when 2 people share life and perhaps financial social-emotional matters altogether. I wish if you will understand and eliminate this fear from you.

  3. Just give it a thought and realize that your fear is just an imagination.

  4. Why you are stressed ? Is it bcos of age or because of financial responsibilities?
    Money is very important part of marriage and i suggest you to get married to financially strong man .
    Please note that you won't get everything in marriage but you need to choose best feature which is required in your case .
    Like if a person is little old and not so good looking but financially strong then i think that the best choice for you compare to a very young and good looking man with no money .

  5. I think you have a very sensible attitude towards marriage. Marriage is definitely not a problem fixer, and if you treat it as such,, you're going to be very disappointed.

    In the end of the day, not getting married is by no means the worse thing that could happen to you, or to anybody. You know what's worse than not being married at 34? Being a 34 year old single mother. Being a 34 year old woman in an abusive marriage. Being a 34 year old woman in a boring marriage. Being 34 old and married to a cheater, a liar, or a man that expects you to do everything for him while he does nothing. Being a 34 year old woman married to a closet gay guy. if you read on here, you'll know just how frequently those scenarios are a reality for people. Thank Allah that you're not one of them.

    If you ask me, you have it good. There's nothing wrong with wanting marriage, but just make sure you don't become desperate and end up settling for a man you don't really want to be with, or whom you aren't compatible with.

    Good luck!

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