Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am a sinner due to masturbation.

Masturbation: Effects on Human Health

Asalam O Alaikum Wa Rehmatullah Hi Wa Barakatahu

I am 17 years old and I am ashamed to say that I am a chronic masturbater. I do every five four days and afterwards feel ashamed and repent and promise my self not to do again but it occurs to me an urge and I end up falling prey to Satanic desires. I am side by side feeling homosexual feelings as well. In fact the porn that makes me ejaculate is gay-porn. Please help me out and give some Halal Advice. I know I do very wrong. I am feeling subdued and depressed and have lost all my self esteem. Actually it all started 2 years ago. I applied for a foreign exchange student program but was rejected. In order to nullify the grief of losing such opportunity I wandered on web pages and watched porn and read on google how to masturbate and started doing it. It has been 2 years now and I am sinner sinner and sinner!!!! please May Allah have mercy on you please help me.


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  1. بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

    الحمد لله رب العالمين

    The conscience fearsome bro is "the last outpost of the signs of Allah."

    Despite sin Allah keeps the conscience alive. When the conscience dies we have sociopathic behavior...serial mass killing. Killing is but to reassert the self after the soul died. Dead to life. Life is to honor your contracts with family first. By definition masturbation is

    masturbate |ˈmastərˌbāt|
    verb [ intrans. ]
    stimulate one's own genitals for sexual pleasure.
    • [ trans. ] stimulate the genitals of (someone) to give them sexual pleasure.
    masturbation |ˌmastərˈbā sh ən| noun
    masturbator noun
    masturbatory |-bəˌtôrē| adjective
    ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: from Latin masturbat- ‘masturbated,’ from the verb masturbari, of unkn..

    Your need for input is do to the lack of meeting contracts (family obligations-- i.e. spare the rod spoil the child)...negative output negative input. Let us move apart from the conception of sin in the west and her latinized languages because it is heavily loaded with the christian concept of original sin. In Islam which revolutionized world thought and founded American industriousness To be a wrongdoer is to be out of place. In Arabic we say the sun is a wrongdoer when it moves from its starting place. The American by saying What is wrong meant what is out of place. That is how NASA refines coordinates. To get the bigger picture.

    By definition of masturbation is touch someones sexual organ for pleasure. As pleasing as that pleasure is it is increasingly short-lived (ephemeral) and must be done more frequently and intensely to get the feel. All the while the deepening blues because you are blunting nerve endings by bypassing (short circuiting) the lasting sensation of pleasure. Pleasure mutually shared from the sexual feedback of the lawful union with a lawful wiffe. With lawful sex the heavens and the earths come together by one command...stars die on their bed..the death of a martyr on the battlefield where Paradise LIES under the shadow of swords.

    Thats all gay sex is is to meet the sword..Al porn is to see a woman. Masturbation will lead to murderous impulses...and suicide.

    Allah made man on a natural framework. Let there be no change in My handiwork (30. The Romans: 30) .

    All which brother J said about yoga is true but too the meditation of the mind is lost when yoga is done for that need.

    To one lasting end satisfying mind body soul is NAMAZ superfluous preyer...Allah draws near...Allah is The Living the Self-Subsisting.

    By subsisting off your body you are shortening your life literally. Misery loves company (military detail ...division {army}). Do your Islamic pryers so that you may be healed by Allah and move on with marriage. 70:29-30..And those who guard their chastity (sexual organ). Except with their wives And the (captives) whom Their right hands possess --

    For (then) they are not to be blamed.

    How sad that society has turned young people away from marriage away from Jehad.

    Death by a thousand strikes of the sword is better than dying on a bed said The Messenger of Allah.

    Lets get a bed to understand our equipment.

    Then between the four posts of a woman travel to raise the sWord of Allah the highest. None raises the sword of Allah higher than he speaKing a word of truth to a tyrant.

    The mountain was effaced at the manifestation of the glory of Allah. ..Wa tour re sea nine. ...8

    و الحمد لله رب العالمين

  2. Assalamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah,

    Brother, may Allah Forgive you for your sin and may He Help you gain control.

    Ibn Qayyim Rahimahullah said: Stand firm against evil thoughts, for if you fail to do so, they will become ideas, if you do not, they will become desires, so fight against them. If you do not, they will become a form of determination and intention, if you do not resist, they will become actions, and if you do not follow them up with their opposite, they will become habits that will be hard to quit.

    (Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim – Al-Fawa’Id – A Collection Of Wise Sayings pg 54. )

    A friend of mine wrote this:

    Sinning in Secret??!

    Ibn Rajab al-Hanbalee رحمه الله said: “The bad end for a person maybe due to his secretly slipping (into sins) while (other) people are unaware of it.” [Jaami` al-`Uloom wal-Hikam (1/172)]

    Others have said: “How many times has secretly sinning prevented me from the saying of Allaah تعالى:

    ﴿وَلِمَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ جَنَّتَانِ﴾

    {But for him who fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens} [Surah al-Rahmaan (55): 46]”

    “The mother of all ruefulness and the mother of all calamities is that we find solace in sinning against Allaah تعالى (i.e. there can be no greater calamity than this).”

    You are 17 and began masturbation only 2 years ago. It is easier for you to give it up compared to many others. What will help you in this is a simple word: control.

    The word is simple but application is not as simple. What stops you from it is whispers of Shaitan. Shaitan is an experienced foe, he is your biggest enemy who will abide in hell and tries as hard as he can to find people who will follow him into the fire.

    Allah Has Made you strong enough to fight Shaitan. All you need to do is stop fantasizing when Shaitan comes to you and do something useful.

    Best measures to control are: migration (I mean changing the environment you are living in), marriage and making yourself busy in gaining Islamic knowledge. They work very effectively in helping you gain control.

    So, next time you think of porn and masturbation, of gay sex, remember gays are disobedient sinners who oppose Allah's Law and remember my words from above and may Allah Have Mercy on you.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  3. Hi brother,

    I had the exact both problems you were going through. I have been masturbating for 16 years even after I got married it didn't stop. I cannot tell you the countless times that I tried stopping on my own and failed.

    This obviously affected my marriage as well because at some point i would go to whatever is more pleasurable. This was not fair to my wife and caused an imbalance in the marriage.

    Until one day I saw a video from a sheikh that I wish I saw long time ago. He said you are sinning and men are made weak if you think you can stop this act without Allah then you are fooling yourself. Allah is capable to take this craving away from you instantly you just have to ask him. When was the last time you turned to Allah and asked sincerely to help you with this problem? We don't think of that as humans we always think we can do it on our own. Allah is capable of anything. So I turned to him and asked him to help me. Shortly after I lost my craving for this evil act and porn all together. Then what really made it even more possible is getting back to prayer again because when you have constant reminder of religon you will avoid this all together I fact you will feel sick just thinking about it.

    May Allah take that bad craving away from you and reward you



  4. Fast and easy list to keep in mind brother:

    -Establish Salah why? other than its obligatory it will force you to keep yourself clean or else you will have to do ghusl after every jerk... 5 times a day bro and you will not find time to sit and look up stuff... Alhamudlillah

    -Disconnect yourself from technology until at least a month has passed that you have established prayer and have stopped jerking. No Computer unless you are in school or a public place... If you need to do homework than go to a library, Forget your cellphone somewhere if it has internet available and videos.... Leave it somewhere and tell everyone you are not available at that number anymore.

    - Stay outdoors is a huge saver ( you wont jerk outdoors) If not at school or library than go to the mosque pray and do sports.

    -First and more important should be to be conscious of Allah SW he sees you in dark or light... remember Allah SW takes pride in the youth that submits to him.

    Many of us have dealt with this issue and Alhamdulillah it is gone... this worked for me... please let me know how it goes inshallah.

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