Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am confused! The person I loved married someone else.

Heartbroken, broken heart

I met this guy at the mosque and he came after me and said he wanted to get married but then that time I said no as I never knew him and he I was not interested in those things. Later on he was not backing off, he kept following me everywhere I go and then he starts talking to me more and more.

I started to develop feelings and I start to talk to him more and started to reply back to his messages. I did ask him if you want to marry me then best way is to come to my parents then I will answer from tbere. He did not do that even when he met my parents.

Years went by and he was helping me in everything , such as listening to me, doing everything what I want, doing what I want. Like any gentlemen that every girl dreams to have.

I helped him for a long time as he was going through difficulties and I was there for him when no body else was there.

He finally got his stay in this country with my help, and I taught him a lot of things. A marriage proposal came and he accepted it straight away, that's when I left heartbroken. I explained him why couldn't you ask my proposal as I been there for you for years and years and he said it's too late to break that his proposal. So I asked why were you speaking to me over the years.

The bad thing is, he turned nasty after the proposal. He is receiving everything and he is turning nasty. I can't stop thinking about him and while his proposal is accepted, he calls me and he wants to kiss me and do bad things. So while he is with that girl, he is also texting me and cheating.

What shall I do with this guy? I am deeply in depression. The proposal is accepted and he is still calling wanting to do 'stuff'. It's playing  with mind?

Also , he was so loving and caring and that's what does not let me go of him and I always fear my proposals , men are not better than him. I feel I will never find a spouse who is 1000 times better than him because he was the best and treated me like a princess!

How do I stop thinking about him and let go? Also I have to see him everyday!! Should I tell his girl that he is cheating too?

Please help!!!!


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8 Responses »

  1. Stop meeting this guy straight away.henever loved you .he was and has been using you all this time just to get his stay in this country.he does not have any affection for you he just wants to use you for his lust and thats why he demands the 'stuff' from you.he treated you like a princess because he wanted someone to help him all the way to ensure his stay in the that it is done he started ignoring you and accepted a marriage proposal who he seemed best as a life partner.he is only a two timer who wants to have his way with both the women in his life.
    Stop meeting him immediately.he is not for are much more worth for someone far better than him and yes you will find a spouse who will be 1000 times better than him.he is an opportunist and a manipulist who has no interest in you now.he is only using to have a good time to do all the dirty stuff he has in mind.the more you meet him the more you degrade yourself.Dump him.

  2. You said, "Men are not better than him. I feel I will never find a spouse who is 1000 times better than him because he was the best and treated me like a princess!"

    He approached you claiming he wanted marriage, he chased you until you developed feelings for him, he did not ask your parents for your hand in marriage, and seems like he used you to get his stay in the country you are living in. When a marriage proposal came, he did not think twice and accepted it even though his initial claim as to marry you. He turned nasty after he got engaged, and he talks dirty with you while being engaged to a different girl.

    And you say, he treats you like a Princess?

    Please wake up, this man is a liar, player, cheater, manipulative and an emotional abuser! He used you, and now is willing to throw you away after he is done with you!

    You must cut off all contact with him, immediately! Stop meeting him, and please stop longing for him. If he can cheat on his fiance, he will most definitely cheat on you, if you were to marry him.

    Us women need to start thinking logically, instead of being swayed by our emotional attachments. We need to develop self-esteem and confidence so we don't fall into traps set by such people. We need to be smart enough to recognize the truth in front of us, and strong enough to break it off completely, heal and move on.

    There are thousands of much better men out there, I assure you. Do not be afraid to dump him, and be strong!

    • Actions speak louder than words. This man has sweet-talked his way through till you developed feelings for him, but did he deliver on his promises?

  3. Dear Sister, the men are sometimes in a habbit to show off to their lovers how many girl friends they have. This is just to impress. You might b just a tool for him to use. Just ignore this guy and if he never come back to u, then u will know his real face. I will pray for ur happiness. Best Regards ☺

  4. Peace be on you,

    “Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his followers that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire” (Surah Faatir 35:6).

    Didn't you realize that your guy was following the Shaitan?

    - "and he came after me"

    - "he was not backing off, he kept following me everywhere I go and then he starts talking to me more and more."

    “(Iblees) said: ‘Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You)’” (Quran, Al-1Aaraf: 16,17).

    And of course he is going to treat you like a princess to trap you in the Shaitan's trap.

    Alhamdullilah, Allah saved you!

    So thank Allah and repent, and if you repent to Allah, can Allah, who created this world and the heavens effortlessly, not find the best guy in the world for you?

  5. The guy who cheats a girl can cheat with other girls, too. At this point he is trying to take advantage of your weakness towards him. So you better forget him and remember Allah much more. That's how great difficulties can be removed, in sha Allah.

  6. Good thing you hadn't married him. He is already two timing you and the other girl and who knows how many others. Maybe even other men. Leave him alone, live your life be happy with yourself. With time your love for him will fade. you're better off without him. But if u feel too strongly then go after your man. Fight for his love, break the rules to be with the man who cheated u. He can change to be good. Just don't say we didn't warn you..

  7. How can u say u will never find someone better?? He is a cheater, what's so good about him?

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