Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am devastated by my mother-in-law’s behavior

My in-laws are causing trouble in my marriage.

We live in a joint family system where we usually share tasks. Among which I am more responsible to cover tasks which aren't mine lawfully, as a daughter in law. The problem happens when my mother in law considers her full right over everything which comes from my parents and everyone in the house (all in-laws) use it without my permission.
When it come to her and whatever things are brought by her family members, she only shares what she likes.

I am devastated in this whole year by her behavior as if I have no right over any thing. Kindly share some quranic and hadith references which mentions that the in laws have no right or any right over goods from daughter in law's parents.


Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    What stuff does she use without your permission?

  2. Sounds like your mother in law is very toxic. From your story it looks like that any Islamic guidance, rights, hadits you mention will not matter at all. Culture supersedes religion. No one has the right to rule you. Nothing is going to change , your husband probably care less of the treatment you're getting from his mother, unless you put your foot down.

  3. I have said it many times before, and I will say it again: When you choose to live in someone else's house, you also choose to live by their rules and customs. Don't like their rules and customs? Move out of there.

  4. Aselam u alaikum,

    I agree with the advice given above.

    Try to move out if you can. As a wife, you have the right to your own house. Exercise this right, if you are not happy.
    A practical point to consider - If there are financial reasons which makes it hard for your husband to move out- then please be understanding and be patient. Don't be a diva and make unreasonable demands. Be patient and save up for it together.

    Second thing- please don't fall out with your in laws because of objects, items and possessions. I'm saying this with all respect and no intention to insult whatsoever.
    It's really sad to see family and friends ruining their relationships over possessions; it shows what they value more. At the end of the day, when we die: we can't take these items with us. All that will count is our a'mal (good deeds); this mean our behaviour with others, etiquettes and character.

    May Allah help you.

  5. Assalam O Alaikum sister. Forgive me if my words seem repulsive, but I think your mother-in-law doesn't know you don't like her taking over your things. Maybe she thinks its not a problem with you as you're married to her son and considers you as her own daughter. Some people are just like that where they think its okay to take someone's stuff simply if that person is close to you, that 'What's yours is mine' kinda thing. However if I failed to interpret your questions and you feel like you don't have a say anymore and are being oppressed then I suggest you to listen to this small lecture:

Leave a Response