Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am engaged but I love someone else

Day and night

I am engaged but I love someone else. She is a hindu and she is also ready to convert but my parents are not allowing me to break off the engagement and marry her. My parents are tensed because of their respect (izzat) will go in the family but they should understand that I love her and that girl also loves me a lot. My parents are telling me to leave their house if I want to marry her. I know Islam does not give permission for all this but we cannot stop the feeling of love. I know the girl I am engaged to is innocent but I can't help it - I love someone else and cannot spoil her life. Please help me with this.


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11 Responses »

  1. What is Love ? This love will become ZERO in few months after marriage .
    To come to this stage you had go through all haraam actions like talking over phone ,chatting ,etc etc .
    Don't you think this so called love stands on haraam foundation ?

    Why she want to convert to Islam ? For your sake ? If so the her conversion is not valid .Conversion should be only for the sake of Allah ..So How she knows about Islam that she want to convert with heart ? Has she studied deeply about Islam ?

    I don't think you were any kind of role model for her to teach islam as you yourself are involved in sins and looks weak .

    Imagine if yor marriage breaks after some years then she might go back to her idol worship way with your kids ..

    I think your parents are right and you are very wrong to have this affair ...You look very weak person when you talk about so called Love as real Love should be for Allah and his prophet(SAS) ..

    • Dear Brother

      Loving someone else and marrying someone else is the beginning of cheating. That guy may be wrong or right to love that Hindu girl but he is definitely unfit for marriage with a girl with no feelings.

      When one marry someone he must marry with his\her heart in complete sync with head otherwise he may need a sex therapist to have intercourse.

      Loving other for the sake of Allah is pure love only. Sexual love that is essential for marriage cannot be generated that way.

      • I agree he should not marry the girl as he might cheat on her due to his past relationship .He just need to spare that innocent girl and take lot of time before he finally erase that non muslim girl from his life ..

  2. Break the engagement if you feel you cant give up on your love. You have no right to play with someones life. Marriage is the most beautiful part of anyones life, dont try to snatch that part away from this innocent girl. Because you sound like an irresponsible lad, I have seen many marriages where a spouse literally suffers and doesn't get a small attention from their partners and the reason they give after the marriage of not being affectionate most of the time is "I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU, I HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR YOU". Brother I am not trying to sound harsh on this Islamic forum, but this is the reality of a world we are living in. Imagine, that soon after marriage you discover that your wife is feeling same for someone as you are feeling at the moment about your love. Brother marriage is a commitment, not some kind of love game. If you feel you are ready to commit then go ahead if not then break this engagement without giving a second thought and remember what goes around comes around because Truly Allah is all Hearer and all seer, Allah knows what is in your heart, what your mind says and what you are talking about. If you are still confused, go to your mosque Imam and discuss your situation to put some light of Islam. No offence. May Allah guide you and bless you with a pious spouse.

  3. Salaam,

    First of all I would suggest you take a step back and sort out your issues before going for marriage.

    Explain to yourself and your parents that marriage is not the solution and don't risk destroying the other girls life.

    Even if you are engaged, it is better to avoid marriage at this point in time because if you are only marrying her for the sake of your parents then you will be spoiling her life. Let her find someone who will truly love her and take care of her. It is better for her to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage.

    My main concern at this moment is for the innocent girl you are engaged to. Please do not spoil her life. Tell your parents that you are not ready for marriage and take some time to sort out your issues. But don't make the life of an innocent girl the solution to your problem. She has no concern with your problems, you have to first solve your problems and then proceed with the marriage.

    May Allah safeguard her.

  4. Don't marry the girl and have feelings for someone else. That's just cruel.

    Your parents want to kick you out? If you are old enough to get married, get married and move out. Don't break this innocents girls heart, because you are too afraid to stand up to your parents.

    Please be a man, nota child. You tell them, NO. I will not marry her,it will NOT happen.thats that.

  5. I agree with all the advises
    I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU TO BREAK OFF THE ENGAGEMENT! stand up for yourself. Sort yourself out and go with what your heart is saying.

    • Subhanallah the brother asked for help and all he is getting are harsh words. Brother ultimately it's you who will get married so you can call of the engagement and tell your parents you are not ready to marry yet and sort out your issue. Your parents can't force you to marry against your will and all this izzat nonsense is the Asian thing. What about the girl's izzat after she gets married to you and you don't give her any love ? And about this Hindu girl no doubt she loves you but better she get converted to Islam first and let her know what Islam is or else people will say she was forced to revert by you after marriage anyways brother I advice you to do istekhara.

      • @Fouzan it isn't harsh words its called wake up to REALITY and face the consequences!
        If you can fall in love before marriage and you love someone else the right thing to do is dont involve an INNOCENT person in the process regardless if they are muslim or not.

        The logic thing to do is be honest parents cant always have it there way. You as an adult need to stand your ground and make up your own mind. If you can go behind your parents back and find someone then you must do whats your right. I however do not agree with haraam relationships but if you love someone else then your in your right to be with that person not chose someone to please your parents. People have feelings and one shouldn't give the other person hope or fake love this i disagree with. No one has a right to play someone this is wrong as well.

        And has you point out to izzsat nonsense I highly taken to offense to this in case you haven't notice Islam forbids haraam relationships and force marriages. To have izzat is everything something we lack because haraam relationships have taken the nicests away so yeah izzat is everything its not all nonsense only to those who dont respect it.

        • One's spouse is izzat. Our promises are izzat.

          However, engagement is not a promise. It is only meant to allow the couple to test their compatibility and love for each other. It can be broken if the partners do not feel compatible with each other.

          So breaking an engagement is not a serious izzat issue.

  6. You need to step up and decide what you want and what is best. After that don't look back. Look for Allah help and beg him for help. Don't ruin your life and regret later, you will ruin others lives as well. Ask Allah for strength and try your best.

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