Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am feeling lost and full of hate

my ex bf is from Iraq and we met and had a wonderful relationship.. i said we had because after one year i discovered he had a wife and a son in iraq and came to america saying he is single and we had sex and even lived together in an apartment.. i am so sad disappointment i trusted him but he is a liar and a player.. why he says he is muslim? hes is not! i dont know how his wife found me on facebook and she messages me asking me why i am with her husband and so many questions..i didnt denied it i told her everything what he said to me that he's single and i sent to her pictures of us in a trip to las vegas she got crazy and told the family everything and she asked for a divorced she lives in Baghdad with the kid she left the house with the kid without saying were she went, the family got crazy, they started to called me telling me all kind the things that is all my fault..anyway my so ex bf cant go to iraq so he told the family he wont divorced her and if she decides to leave him he will take the kid with him,,he spoke with his father he took the kid from her and brought the kid to their house..now everything is a mess..i am honest i dont feel sorry for any one in that family i told my so ex bf i hate you for what yo did to me i dont care if your family is suffering is not my problem is your problem because you lied to me and too many people thought you are a single man when you are not so now be man and speak the truth..i will never ever will believe any word for any muslim man before go to their home country and see the reality with my own eyes..some people told me i am being cruel..do i am, really?? so 1 year i was played like stupid and i am the cruel one? no. I dont know he came back to me the other day saying he is finalizing his divorce and he wants us to be together but I dont believe in anything i am honest but he probably misses the sex but i am not more his sex doll that is how i feel now after 1 year with him. i know is my fault for having sex with a man without a proper commitment and is something that i learned and i want to change for myself. I pray to God to give me the strength to change for my own benefit, thanks for reading me. 🙁 🙁

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  1. Certainly, he's a cheat, liar, and dishonorable man. He should have been with his wife and not with a girlfriend. After all of this that took place, you shouldn't be seriously considering being with this man, even if he says that he's going to get divorced. Despite what he's said, he's not getting a divorce; if he were going to get a divorce, he would have done that a long time ago. Like you said, he's a player, and that's what players do, they lie and cheat and then lie more when they get caught. He's bad news for you, and he will do this same thing to you like he did to his wife. Be thankful that you learned about his nasty ways and leave him alone.

    I won't judge you for the Zina situation because I, along with many other people of all religions, have committed the same. Though it's wrong, things happen in life, and many of us would be hypocrites for condemning you. What I do judge women about is the lousy men with whom they choose to be. Despite the lies and deception of these lousy men, too many women know fully that these men are shady, or at least that something is not right about them. At some point, women must be accountable for choosing lousy, lying, cheating men over decent, righteous, faithful men. I've seen it over and over, and it really is not that difficult for women to glean that something's wrong with these men. However, women find these types of men exciting, for the short term at least, and let themselves get caught up in bad relationships with them until the truth becomes extremely apparent. Though they deceive women, men's lies really aren't that complex and elaborate like the lies women, so men's lies really ought to be easy to detect.

    I wouldn't say you can't trust Muslim men, but you really ought to be extra careful of certain men from certain cultures, especially if they live far from their homeland. More importantly, though, do not be bowled over by smooth, sweet words and lines because such things are almost always pure lies to deceive you. I know compulsive liars and cheaters, including muslimahs, and they tend to display the same patterns in they're lying, cheating, and deceptive behaviors and activities. Some good reading for you would be on the topic of narcissists (including sociopaths) because such people tend to act the way your boyfriend does. This condition applies to both men and women of all religions. Kim Saeed has some very informative written and video information on this subject. Please review it for your own good and protection.

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