Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am planning to Jump off a Bridge

Salaam, I am writing this because I have no hope.

I have nowhere to turn. I am thinking of committing suicide like jumping off a bridge. I live with my big brother. He is abusive and hits me everyday lots of times. I have spots on my head where it hurts from his hard knuckles.

He is not married, he is old, I have nowhere to turn, no one to help. I have no parents, and when I die I don’t want to be buried by a non Muslim. I am a born Muslim I have no one to help me. I am tired of listening to him that I should die, that I should not come back, that he brought me to this country to be his slave to do what he tells me to do, or get out.

I have been thinking for the past month about dying, for I don’t want to be hit any more. I don’t know where to turn. My mom used to be abused by dad, she had nowhere to turn to, one day she died, but that was in my home country. I was young then, and took care of home, where there were Muslims who buried my mom.

I have no one to bury me, I am in a strange country and for the past two months I have thought of death. I want to jump off a bridge. I know the police will believe him, he will bring witnesses to say, I am mental, that I belong in mental hospital, he hits me in front of other people, no one helps me, everyone believes him “look the way she dresses, look how she looks”.

It will be easy to die, as he wants my policy which will cover it, and give him money to enjoy life. I know you won’t answer, and it is ok, but I want to die, I can’t take the hitting no more, so I wanted someone to let them know what goes on, and why I died or killed myself.

- MuslimFemale

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6 Responses »

  1. Salaam Dear Sister,

    First of all, I want to acknowledge how brave you are to share this with us, and I acknowledge that it takes a great deal of courage to speak out in the midst of so much suffering. Immediately I can see that there is great hope for you, for changing this life that you are in and creating a future for yourself in which you are free and able to make your own choices without fear. Please, hold on in there.

    You are feeling like suicide will save you, yet suicide is a major sin: do not end this life and choose an eternity of suffering as the alternative.

    I would advise you very strongly to see a doctor as soon as you possibly can as you may be suffering from depression which will make all bad feelings much stronger. As the bad feelings get stronger, the ability to feel good and make the changes you need to make to overcome and overpower your situation get weaker. The best thing you can do at this stage is to speak to your doctor about these thoughts and he / she will advise you on how to overcome them.

    The next thing I would say is to remember that there is hope in your future. You are going through many awful experiences and I understand that you want it to end, but sister - you can end it and live at the same time. You can end it and recover at the same time.

    As well as this, I advise that you call the Muslim Youth Helpline on 0808 808 2008 or email them on and share your feelings very openly with them. They are an excellent organization who treat everything you tell them with absolute confidence and they are able to guide you and assist you in getting out of your situation.

    I want to let you know sister, that you are not alone. There are some who have gone through this and come out on the other side, healthy, happy and able to live good and powerful lives and you can do this also. But you cannot do it alone. You must believe that you can change your life without ending your life. A doctor, the helpline and faith will inshaAllah be a support you and hold your hand as you do this.
    The first step is the hardest and you have taken it. From here on, you must recruit the help that you need to get out, get out safely and recover emotionally from this terrible abuse you are experiencing.

    I am praying for you to find the hope, and the will to overcome and rebuild.


  2. Asalaamualaikum dear Sister,

    I just wanted to add to Sister Leyla's good advice.

    You do not deserve to be hit by anyone; you deserve BETTER. You, your life, your existence - its all worth much much more. You have Islam, you have health and you have the gift of 'life'.

    If what you want is for the 'hitting' to stop; taking your life is not the answer. If you take your life, you will face much worse than just 'being hit', because suicide is a major sin. Ending your life will not end the pain you are going through now; it will increase it.

    There are other ways to stop the hitting.

    Let us help you inshaAllah. We can help you find ways of improving your quality of life - which you do deserve.

    Contact the Muslim Youth Helpline that Sister Leyla told you about. Also see your GP and confide in him/her; you need something to help uplift your current way of thinking. While you are depressed, you will continue thinking negatively. However, you want to love yourself, your life and you want to love it so much that you realise that you need to improve the quality of your life; not end it.

    And - if you are really feeling helpless and want immediate help - I would suggest you report your brother to the police, or if you go to school or college, confide in a teacher or welfare officer.

    Dear Sister - remember Allah wants you to turn to Him, ask Him for help. Allah will be so happy with you if you do sabr and find the courage to do something to protect yourself. You can ask for help and you can tell certain authorities about what your brother is doing. And you can also seek medical attention to help yourself.

    Keep telling yourself:
    - Allah loves me and I deserve better.
    - Allah loves me and I can help myself.
    - I will do something positive to stop being 'hit'.
    - I can do so much to help other people, people who are poor, needy, hungry, orphaned, ill. I can only do this by being alive
    - Allah loves me, so I want to obey him by cherishing my life.
    - I will live and I will get through this inshaAllah.

    So Sister, as Leyla said, speak to the right authorities and hold in there.

    Our Prayers are with you

  3. Asalamu Alikum,
    Sister it sounds like you have been through so much, thank you for being strong and reaching out to someone..

    Sister the first things is do you have someone in your life that you can trust? is there a freind, teacher, co-worker, neighbour,muslim community, so on- because you cant do this alone.

    If you dont have somone Allah is always with you sister, and he will ultimatly take care of you. Sister you need to call the police on your brother, you are a human being, and he needs to stop hurting you. No one deserves to be treated that way.

    If you dont want to do that, start looking for a shelter or some emergency plan of you want to leave.
    As well sister, are you able to find a job? live on your own? How old are you? and are you independent? Can you drive? Do you know anyone in the Muslim communitty for protection?

    Sister, suicide in Islam is Haram, and not only that, it is not a soloution for your problem sister, you still have a wonderful life ahead of you my love. This hardship is making it so difficult to see a bright future, but please dont give up hope.
    Just make sure you escape this situation, find indepedence from this abuse sister.

    is that possible for you? and how old are you sis if u dont mind me asking? Keep us posted sis........

  4. Did u ever bother calling the cops?! How about you stay at a friends house? Killing yourself won't resolve anything. Pain is temporary. Death is eternal. Y are u suffering? Women's need to stand up for themselves. Sister u have a lot of wonderful things to see, to enjoy. Please font hurt urself. Tell ur frnds, neighbours, police. Someone!! U r not alone, and don't consider urself alone. Inshallah u will b okay. Please don't do anything u will regret. Live ur life, its a blessing. If u don't live it who will.

  5. Asalamu Alaykum

    You have no reason to do this. Talk to your brother, tell him if he doesnt sto you will take action. Put cameras in your house so when he hits you, you have proof and no one will belive him. When you call the cops dont tell your brother that you did, he will begin acting diffrent. In islam it is haram to kill yourself and you knw it. Sahly read quran and inshallah everything turns out te way you want. Just inshallah you dont do whatyou think is right, dont jump off a bridge you got it?


  6. Dear sister. My heart breaks reading your story. I hope that you are well and it is all over for you. I hope that you have found peace and happiness and a man to help you forget all that you have been through. I really wish you wouldup^date us.

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