Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am sinking, I want my love back.

depressed woman lost love

I am 23 years old and the youngest among my family, I have been in relationship with my boyfriend since 1year ag, I am deeply in love wih him but now he left me because my elder sister put a condition as that if he love you he has to get married within some months..my boy friend told me as he dídnt wana go against his family, he needs some time to make agree,  our marriage should be love and arrange marriage too but my sister said we can´t wait for 1 year, so my boyfriend left me by saying that you can´t wait.. then I can´t do anything...

He left me..i did alot duas,prayers,dhikir,tahajud,virdh..i always prayed to allah having complete faith but now when allah is not listening my duas I am very much disappointed..my brother,cousins, friends all having boyfriend girlfriends and they all got they love..they are happily married..when i see them i feel like I am losted I am finished everyone gets their love but why i am suffering..Allah S.W. T says i always listen to our prayers..keep praying coz duas change our kismat...then where my duas are going?

It is written in quran that every thing is written and decided about our life.. but duas can change destiny..I know that is true.. we are muslims and having believed in ALLAH and QURAN..but where my duas r going..?? i got soo much disappointed that i want to give up from my life.. my faith is getting weaker and weaker.,i really don´t wana do this to me got so much depressed now..coz i can´t live without him...although everythings is finished between me and my love..but i still talk 2 him..i feel like if i will not listen his voice i will die..

Please let me know which is my mistake? i never prayed to Allah that i want boyfriend... but Allah gave me..if Allah want us apart then why he madly make me fall in love with him?? he bring love in my life..i really don´t know what to do...plz let me know any dua if i can get my boyfriend back in my life so we get married...
Now my condition is like this people says me psycho..people laughs at my condition..i am myself is tired now always crying n sad.plz help me out...let me know any dua..i pray to Allah tht plz bring back my love my boyfriend back into my life n if ALLAH can do this then plz give me maut.. i don´t wana live  now....plz pray 4 me that i may get my love back in my life..otherwise i am sinking....


Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

158 Responses »

  1. You ask, where have your dua's gone?

    You will know on the day of Judgement. Perhaps they are being saved for the hereafter. You are 23 years old; was this the only man left for you? If so, there will be lots of bachelors in Paradise.

    I think you need to keep things in perspective. You have a long life ahead of you, and you may receive many proposals in the future.

    Dua does not force someone to come back. Don't you think all muslims would get exactly what they wanted, if dua was a universal magical panacea? Don't you think that we would all be with our prince charmings right now, with healthy beautiful children, if by merely reading dua Allah SWT gave us EXACTLY what we wanted?

    Life does not work that way. Dua is a form of worship. It means that you are putting your trust in the hands of the Creator. To that end, it changes destiny....your ultimate destiny. That is, your dua may be be saved up for a better Hereafter. Your dua may strengthen your trust in Allah - which in turn will better your destiny in the Hereafter. But in this life....what Allah has written for you, will happen. This young man has decided not to marry you. He has made his decision.

    • Dear girl, same thing happened to me, try to forget him. The writer his right. Ur prayers can't bring him back, he has made his decision. u know my x-lover is one of the most successful guy I’ve ever met, right now living in Sweden, studying on scholarship, and I destroyed me career in his SO CALLED love, and got very low percentage, and now unable to get admission anywhere, now i think i got nothing in that love, often i accuse GOD k he was a bad guy, y have u blessed him so much and give nothing to me... but the fact is jo kerna hai aap hi ko kerna hai, Allah won't come on earth to save u. This world doesn't run in SACHAI and sincerity stuff., world runs on realistic thinking, ... I’ve learnt k even if u r a liar, and cheater and u r handling the things smartly, u'll win....And the person who doesn't handle the thing with his mind, he/she'll lose, no matter how sincere he is.
      And remember another thing yar... leave on GOD... move ahead.... if u think u r right, leave everything on GOD, as i did .. now i m happy in my life... strong and isolated girl... with a lesson, not to let any1 use u. ALLAH will give u Good AJAR soon, and dun forget to inform us. GOD BLESS U. Pray for me as well. :):) I understand ur pain.

      • 'Can't Mention'

        You seem a little confused. If someone has a good career etc, this can be either a blessing or a trial - Allah knows best. Just because someone's else's life 'seems' to be 'conventionally successful' - we should not compare our lives to theirs, because we do not know what Allah knows. Perhaps a flashy car, house and career may take someone away from rememberance of Allah. While poverty may bring someone nearer to Allah.

        Be grateful to Allah for whatever you have.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Sisters! i posted my question on 1st May 2013. when shall my question be posted? Please let know.

          Neehal

          • Neehal, we have more than 60 questions in the queue, which means a wait of about 4 to 6 weeks. Sorry.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO MARRY 4 WIVES IM HEART BROKEN. I EVERTED FROM HINDU TO ISLAM AND HE DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT THIS IN THE BEGINING . I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF . I DNT UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS DOING THIS TO ME . HE SAYS ISLAM ALLOWS 4 SO HE WILL MARRY 4.

      • I am 21 years old.
        please help me. I am telling you my situation
        About one year ago my gf have broken up with me. Then every time I contact with her. I have noticed that she have lost her feelings even some time she said that please forget all the relations between us. But everytime I cried not to go away from me. Now I am so worried that which step I will take to get her back permanently. I cant live without her. She just talks with me whenever I texted her. I pray to Allah every time but Allah is not Listening my doa. I got mad dear. Please tell me what I have to do.???? Reply me plz

        • 1. We do not have girlfriends/boyfriends in Islam.
          2. Of course Allah will not grant your dua' for a haram thing.
          3. The girl does not love you. Accept that and move on. Stop contacting her and let her be.
          4. Yes you can live without her. You will survive, and in time the pain will go away.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Actually your 1st mistake is that you were in a haram relationship . . And Allah Talla forbids Haram relationships, but since you liked that boy you prefered him upon Allah and when any Muslim prefers someone or something over Allah, that thing or person becomes the cause of their ruin, this is like a speed bump, which Allah puts in our path to make us realize that it is only Him who is true to us, so that we turn back to Him . .
          Secondly your girlfriend and you didnt actually love eachother in the first place, if you did, you would have waited for the right time and after being married would have had a legal halal relationship but because you both couldnt wait, it shows that both of you werent derived by love, but rather you both were derived by lust . .
          If you both loved eachother you wouldnt have been in this relationship, because now, on the day of judgement, you both will be in a questionable position infront of Allah about this, if your girl actually loved you, she wouldnt have wanted that you stand guilty infront of Allah on Judgement Day and vice versa . .
          Because in Islam marriage isnt just sharing the same house or ideas, it is a spiritual connection which is formed merely by words(without a written contract) & its also ended by words . .and marriage in Islam is not just limited to this world but, the pious couples will be together in Paradise as well . .
          FINALLY: i will advise you to make lots of Astaghfar and love only Allah, pray for forgiveness and love of Allah only, Allah will make your life easy InshaAllah, . . Besides Allah didnt bring you all this way just to leave you, the fact that you are alive and breathing right now is because Allah wants you to come to Him, He is giving you a chance to turn towards the right direction and ask for forgiveness and crave only Allah and change your actions that will please Allah, SO DO IT, MAKE USE OF THE CHANCE . . LOFE IS UNCERTAIN, IT MAY END SOON . .
          May Allah make life easy for you . . Ameen

          • Someone loves me and me too. But the problem was my mother didn't like. However she tried to console my boyfriend to marry me ,call your mother ,we will talk each other. But my boyfriend didn't do that and he tried to console me that I haven't any job so I can't marry you write now but please don't leave me stay with me. But I heard to my mother. Even my mother told him ok no need to give something right now but be sure about your relationship. But still he didn't and wanted to stay with me. But one day I married. Now the prblm is I m not happy. I don't love my husband. He is a good guy. Don't tell me anything for any reason. But he is a normal guy .don't know how to love. I m just depressed myself and all day long I cry lonely. I have a baby though. I don't want that I love my husband. I tried to leave him but he doesn't. What can I do now? Will it be sin to ask Allah to marry in paradise with whome I will love.

      • Allah will save a person through His ways, but Allah does not change the state of a person who does not want to change, so it is us who have to take the first step, pray to Allah for forgiveness, and from there on Allah puts his Blessings and makes our hardship easy . . That is the way told to us normal people because we arent Prophets and even the Prophets had to bear a lot & our hardships are nothing compared to theirs . .

        • i am a girl of 16....i was in a haraam relationship with a guy...i trusted him completely.........and i loved him so much ...he also promised to marry me...he also made several other promises...that he will not leave me and he will look after me and we will be together till the end...and so on.... .. i was mad at him...and it was so hard for me to even think about a life without him.....but 4 months ago he left me..i was so depressed and i felt like my life is meaningless...i cried and cried and cried out day and night and i even begged him not to leave...i turn back to allah..and i prayed continously.... for his return.... one month ago i came to know that he has many girlfriends now..and he has changed a lot.......i convinced him by saying that these are all haram but he is not even listening to me...i wonder how could he do this to me after making several promises in the name of allah and his family..i can no longer handle this pain... i dont want again a relationship with him anymore as its against islam......but i am so sad and depressed about what he has done to me..... he pretended like he loved me so much but in the end he just left me very badly...plss help me...pls i need a reply....i dont know what to do...i am completely...hopeless......

          • i m 18 years girl i m badly in love wt guy and he alsoloved me vry much and our relation is frm 7 years he made me promises to continue his love even aftr death but dur to my career i jst came fr banglore fr takng coaching fr 15 days he said if i step he ll leave me and now he hs left me i so much in pain i cant tolerate i need maut plz tell any duwa i even said him daily i ll call u and msg u bt did nt listen plz help

          • sonu, how can you have been in a relationship with a man for 7 years when you are 18 years old??? How old is the man?

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Iam 27 years of age...

        • Please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • I'm 23 yrs old girl I always got broken heart when I fall in love with boys.sometimes they judge me of my physisal disability, some they told me that I will never got a bf because of my disability. Dis thing is tearing m apart,smtyms I feel lyk to kill myslf because ppl judge me.I smtyms feel lyk I will not have a bf lyk ada ppl nd I will not got happy bcz of my disability.plz hlp m

          • You seriously need some Islamic education sister Remeldah. We do not have boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Someone please help me.

        I have gotten to know a muslim guy, for 2 and a half years. recently my uncle's son got into a fight with him and beat up his brother pretty badly. now his family is saying to stay away from me, and to forget about me and he is obeying his parents, and even going as far as being mean and disrepecting me just to push me away. I am SO heartbroken because I had no involvment in this fight, and I am being blamed for somthing I did not control. I make dua every night and I feel as tho my prayers are not being answered. Do you think its too late? will his parents ever open their hearts? they are also very controlling and control everything and anything in their household. they even had a huge say in who their oldest son could marry aswell

    • surely,it pains alot bt plz be patient 2wadz al dat is unsolved in ua hrt n try 2lav de questions demselvez,Allah loves u there is sumthng he avoided 2wadz 2u,say thnx coz he didnt let it hapeen on u,ma dear sister

    • Assalamu alikum w.w bro/sis i have an important question. Please advice where to post the question.

  2. @ a precious star
    I want to ask you about a thing that has been disturbing me a lot. When i feel sad I go and talk to one of my friends, she I dont know why tells me with such conviction that I will be really happy one day. And she has been saying that for a while, she doesn't say inshallah.
    I feel very scared to listen to her, does her saying such things about my future has any bad eefect on my future? As ppl's word can be harmful! Can you answer me, i feel very disturbed.

    • Whenever your friend says such things, just add to it Insha'Allah. And remind your friend to say it as well. I am sure her intentions are good, Insha'Allah 🙂

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamu alaikum sir,
        thank you for the reply.
        I do say insha allah when she says such things but at times I cant say it as she goes on talking. I feel very scared after wards and cant get this out of my head. Please pray for me.

        • Why are you scared? You should be happy! You are very lucky to have a friend who is wishing you well.

        • Yes, unfortunately there are always people that do that. (I get it too sister.) Don't be scared. Just say InshaAllah out loud if you can or in your head. And also make a habit when talking to Muslims to insert MashaAllah and InshaAllah in your speech. Its very important to say MashaAllah when complimenting someone (or yourself). In this way it reminds everyone. Also, always do your salat and recite Surah al Ikhlas,Falaq & Naas 3x each at Magrib and Fajr and once each after each salat. This is a habit all Muslims should have to protect themselves.

          Sara
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Yes thankyou jazak Allah! i can wait 🙂 i love your site already helping a lot!

  3. sister,i was placed in nearly the same situation,but the your the lucky one. You have the chances of having this brother,whereas i am not even able to get my love for many reasons.I love him so much and I know he loves me so much,but our circumstances make us not able to even meet some-times.I cry all the time to allah begging and begging him 2give me my love,but sometimes i feel he is not even listening. Then one day i was telling my situation to some-one pretending it was about another person,and that person said to me. "live life how you are now,if you really do love him i promise you,that you will get him in the here-after. Allah is mercifull like that" so now sister even-though my heart yearns 4him every second i have learnt 2control my-self.Inshallah with all of evryones duas i will get him oneday,maybe not now but some-day.

    • Assalam o alaikum,
      sister, you made my heart wrench. I have been through the same times. And i felt like giving away my life for him. Till today i do feel sad at times and most of all my life , it suffered a lot. My academics went very poor as did my health. But today too i wakeup and try every day to make the most of it. Although don't feel i have risen like i was before but one thing i feel everyday is my love for Allah(s.w.t) grows more and more each day.
      So my dear sister as i feel crying writing to you , i hope and i have this faith in Allah(s.w.t) that if i can live so you can too InshaAllah. And one day you will feel much stronger in every aspect. Now i realise that i was not close to Allah which made me weak emotionally and i needed him. He till today writes to me but i never reply. There were days when i used to get hospitalized when he wouldn't be around. And now even if he wishes i don't even speak a word to him.
      So my sister, just think of it as now i do that this was the best for me and him. Allah(s.w.t) knows the best for us. So always count on your blessings and smile.
      May Allah(s.w.t) ease your pain. Ameen
      Masallam

    • i like the answer of the person to u, i am going through the same thing ... he proposed marriage to me but i am from a different culture maybe his family disagreed but he never tells me, he just shut me out of his life and told me he will travel to us for studies and he doesn't want me to wait but i can see on the posts of his family on his facebook. he seems like he is engaged. everyone tells me to let go but i don't know why i find it difficult. he becomes so cold to me as well but i am not mad because i think he is just doing it so both of us can move on since he doesn't have a choice.

  4. Sweety180

    Peace & blessings to you my dear sister. I hope you are fasting well in this month of Ramadan. I want to say something, it is not that Allah does not listen to your duas, infact he listens to all of them. The reason why you are not getting your duas answered is because of many reasons that Allah himself with his infinite wisdom knows and we don't. This does not mean that it will be granted anytime you give a dua. It also does not mean that the dua will be ignored. This means that Allah will grant your dua when it is best for you. The reason why your dua for your love to come back to you is not being answered because He is displeased with you for being in a haraam relationship (yes sister, as sincere as your intention to get married to him is you were still in a haraam relationship so you must repent from that), there is someone out there who is better for you (as much as you don't want to accept that now), or He will grant that dua in the hereafter. Allah knows best.

    This does not mean you should give up hope. It also does not mean that you should expect duas to be granted everytime you ask for it. You just continue giving duas and hope that He will give you, give him your trust. I suggest you make a dua like "Allah please give me someone who will be best for me who loves and worships only You, who will love and respect me, who is compatible with me because You have infinite knowledge and only You know what is good and bad for me. You are the Most Wise, the Most Merciful." instead of specifically asking for the man you are in love with (because he may end up not being right for you, Allah knows best) and have faith that you will inshAllah get it.

    Also respect your love's wishes. If he can not wait for you, do you really think he is the man you would want to be with? Do you really want to be with an impatient man? If this man truly loved you he would have waited and kept you away from a haraam relationship. Once again, Allah knows best. So don't give up hope and focus on getting closer to Allah. Love for anything can fade over time but love for Allah is one thing that won't ever let you down.

    -strawberryfields

  5. Salam strawberryfields

    May ALLAH bless you for your good recommandation made to the sister. You made me cry in your last passage, you seem to be good in faith.

    May ALLAH bless you again

  6. Lol, I'm sorry but its so strange to read how someone is in a similar situation to my own around the exact same time! Oh my dear sister I understand your pain, I don't know how I can ever help you as I can barely help myself but the one thing I keep telling myself when the pain gets unbearable is 'Verily Allah is with the patient one' and I force myself to stop crying and stop being upset because if I let go then Allah will no longer be with me!

    Secondly I am trying to live everyday as though it were my last, imagine I told you at the start of the day that sister, today evening at 7:00 that is it, your lifes over. Even though you love him like crazy it wont hurt you because you know you'll be dead come evening. Just take each day as it comes, try and improve yourself as a person, eat healthily, join a gym. Try and give abundent love to everyone around you, give them so much love and kindness as being kind to others makes you happy. Grab every opportunity to do good deeds for the sake of Allah. Also keep a diary, and address it to Allah 🙂

    Redirect your love towards Allah and think of people less fortunate the people that come to mind are the horn of Africa people. They have no food, their starving, their children are dying, they are travelling for days through the heat. In comparison we enjoy good health and shelter and food and family and water and wealth. May Allah ease their suffering and grant them paradise, inshallah. Oh my sister, I know the pain its so intense and deep and awful but be patient and hold on to the rope of Allah. If you have lost Allah you have lost everything and you find Allah then you have found everything.

    Allah, Allah is the most merciful, the most loving, the most kind, the most compassionate, the most high, the most great. Beg Allah for his friendship and care and protection. Lastly I would recommend the book 'Do not be sad' by Aid Al Qarni. http://www.dont-be-sad-alqarni.com/ If you go on this site they have his book free online. I found it to be extremely beneficial.

    May Allah erase all your pain and sorrow and grant you peace and happiness and tranquillity. Your never alone, Allah is always with you. Oh one last thing, Allah is the creator he is the one who created your love, he is the one who blessed him with his qualities and traits so isn't this Allah worthy of worship. If you truly love him and I know you do, I know you love him so much then pray for his happiness and yours.

    I have so much love and compassion for you.
    Be happy
    Smile
    and take care of yourself

  7. i love my girl friend so much but before proposing to her she told me she has someone that she's dating, but the person his not around i mean he travelled out of the country all of a sudden i proposed to her she accepted my proposal after two month she called and she said she can't cope anymore,anylonger please i don't know what to do and she is a good muslim can i have any dua's from you guyz am sicking for allah's want please help me out.................................................

    • Brother, Asalaamualaykum,

      There is no point trying to pursue a sister for marriage when she clearly still has someone else on her mind. Move away from her and give her time to sort herself out. Your presence in her life will just confuse her more. May Allah replace your pain with sweetness of eemaan.

      If you wish for advice, please log in and submit your question as a separate post.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. please pray for me so that i get back my love

    • May Allah give you what is best for you and make you satisfied with it, aameen.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • i want wafiza for ma love back he wont love me now he is going wid some1 orth girl n ha dats girl is not leaving him

      • Assalaamualaikam

        Wazifas aren't really an Islamic practice - there are no spells or rituals in Islam that will magically give us what we want. We need to put our faith in Allah that He knows what is best for us.

        If you require advice on your situation, please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post - that way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.

        Midnightmoon
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

      • Awrh same thing I want

  9. i am facing a little same situation like miss sweety but the importnant thing is that my firm belief in ALLAH if HE has bestowed me His blessings so he will not ignore me.its just a small test of ALLAH which we all has to pass with patience and if i am doing same like sweety with a little difference that i stopped contacting him because i want to follow purely my ALLAH route and this belief dnt let me down ever and makes me strong in all situations.being strongest makes you to follow your rules and regualtions which keeps you away from the guilt of done anything bad ever.staying intouch isnt the solution.to TRUST any you have to prove YOURSELF ENOUGH CLOSER..if one say sorry to all so lets do it for our ALLAH inspite of sympathiesed by people for nothing because they will never understand this all.
    ALL I want to say TRUST IN ALLAH,HE will not let u down.being disappointed shows that ur belief isnt strong and its bad dear so be positive ok and remmember me in prayers as well you all.its really a hard phase indeed but it feels great because i am getting more and more closer to ALLAH as this all happend and inshaALLAH i have firm belief ALLAH will give me if i did anything wrong and i will not leave any way to convince HIM.MAY ALLAH forgive all of us and fulfil our positive deeds and prayers.AMEEN

  10. my dear my story is just like you all please you all of you pray for me too i wil be praying 4 you all too. may allah give back our loves

    • inshaallah,
      let it happen dear.
      its been years i m hoping.the situations are like i should not keep going after that.but i m still hoping inside my heart.
      the pain is in the deepest point of my heart.i m not understanding why my heart is not getting broke practically, bcz it has beard morethan it could.
      still waiting for her with my sticked brocken heart.

      • Farhab, as long as you keep sitting around mourning and wishing for an extinct relationship, or wishing for some former love to return, you will be stuck in your life and will continue to experience sadness and depression.

        MOVE ON! The past is the past. Life goes forward. Be active in your life, work, study, play sports, have hobbies, make new friends. One day you will meet someone will be BETTER for you than that person from the past you are mourning for. Insha'Allah.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. Hello all, im not muslim.....im a hindu girl. I have lost lot of things in an year. I have lost my confidence in my working life due to cheats done by my manager with my career. I lost my father and I almost moved into depression as i was surviving by seeing his face. N now i have lost my love.

    I had two very good friends. One of them is a guy. We were the group of three and the girl from our group got married. Later, me and this guy spending time with each other. I had feelings for him when we started knowing we each other but during initial days of our friendship he told me that he cannot have love marriage as his parents are not in favour of it. He cannot even ask his parents bcoz he is scared that this discussion can harm his father's health. He had an affair for 4 yrs and broke up bcoz of this reason. To get rid of these feeling i flew out from our country and i told him the reason. After 3 months i came to my country n things were normal between us like friends only.

    But after my father's death, this guy held my hand n took me out from the situation. Brought smile back on my face and we both finally expressed our feelings for each other. This time we both had feelings for each other but as i mentioned above he is afraid of telling his love life to his parents we cannot continue this relationship. I told him to put the things on our destiny and see if we can meet. For two months the relationship was beautiful and we were charishing our togetherness....our moments.

    But a week later of two months completion he saw a girl for marriage and on the spot said yes for marriage. He messaged me and told me clearly that its over between us. It was easy for him to move out from this relationship without giving a 1% effort of saying no to that girl and create a situation in our favor.

    Now, I really want him to realise what he lost after this breakup n also at the same time i want him back in my life with a honest commitment. Please tell me if you can pray for me to allah to get success from this lost relationship.

    • maggi, please log in and write your question as a separate post and we'll answer it in turn. It won't take too long, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  12. I WANT MY
    (Please log in and submit your question as a separate post, thank you. IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  13. Asak sister,

    i understand how difficult the situation must be for you.I happened to lose a couple of things myself too..My husband left me since he had commitment probs and I had left my studies waiting for my husband.He was in the U.S. and I am in india..I was a medical student, so it hurts I lost both the things.I got into a relationship with a friend of mine and would keep praying to Allah to make things work b/w us..This went for about 5 months..I felt lost and went on relying on that guy for emotional support..But at a time I thought what I was doing..I was just blindly doing things and wishing to be with somebody I don't even know will be best for me or not..Allah knows best..We have nothing in our control..I just could not act normal because actually I was hurt and angry because of what my husband had done to me..

    I understand you are emotionally unstable right now and sometimes we do end up thinking why couldn't we have a smooth life like others..But it is just that Allah puts us through trials, somebody at an early age and some later in different ways..After all it is only Allah who knows what is best for us and will give us everything..Just pray to Allah for a stronger faith and a good future..Mashallah you are a strong believer since you mentioned you have been praying..If that guy is best for you,most compatible for you then inshallah Allah will bring you both together, be it now or after a few months or years..

    You know when my husband left me I felt rejected and heart-broken..This guy was there for me and I was scared to lose him because I was scared to go through the feeling of loss again..But I prayed that Allah whatever is right for me please do that and help me to be content with that along with keeping me on the right track..Eventually Allah put everything in front of me in a way that I started realising the differences b/w us myself when at a time I was only depending on him emotionally..I do wish him well so I pray for him coz that is the best gift for somebody I feel..And separately I pray for myself and I have left everything on Allah..If we want Allah's help then we should atlst do things according to how Allah has asked us ..Getting into relationships w/o marriage is haraam so we should atlst try to refrain from doing that..I know it is difficult but we should try and ask Allah to make things easy for us..Allah will be so happy that inspite of really wanting somebody or something we are trying to give it up for Allah's sake..May be he is just judging you right now..

    You must have heard of How Allah put Hazrat Ibrahim through a trial by asking him to sacrifice his son ( Hazrat Ismael)..Allah knew how much he loved his son but just wanted to judge whether he would put 'love for his son' before 'his love for Allah' or not...Eventually while Hazrat Ibrahim was sacrificing his son Allah sent his angels and asked them to put a goat instead of the son..Anyway it was just a trial because we are supposed to be loving Allah the most..Every human can leave us,either by cheating on us or for some other reason or they die, but Allah is always there..Whenever you feel lost and lonely just think "Allah is always there!!!" It helps me so m telling you too

    If that guy is best for then Allah will bring you together even if the whole world wants to keep you both apart..But what if you are stubbornly asking to be with somebody who in future will not be good for you..Allah has created all of us so he knows who will be compatible with whom..You do your part i.e. keeping faith and praying and then just relax..Leave the rest on Allah because the rest is his part..He will inshallah do the best for you..

    Tc..Alhfz

    • I had a question kindly guide me..bf n gf relation is haram in islam..but what of those people who are in love and same bf gf get married to each other..are there relation is not haram then??

      • Their is no such thing as bf/gf in Islam, even if a man and woman were intended/destined to get married (engaged etc) still they need to maintain their distance meaning any communication must be supervised. They can only be together through marriage, before that they need to communicate only if necessary in order to get to know each other under strict supervision of elders. For detailed answer, please log-in and writer your question as a separate post with more details, but do browse this forum to find relevant posts to save your time in writing, submitting and waiting for replies.

        Muhammad1982,
        Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  14. dear sis same is ma story prayed lot to allah to get ma love back bt din suceed bt still gt an faith tht i myt get her back but to b frank i did lots of mistakes i my self ruin her lyf by telling her dad that ur daugter was goin arnd wth me whn she lft me bt my intention was nt to ruin her lyf i jst wanted her back evrybdy tld m nt to do smthng wrng bt i jst did wa my mind was telling and that went wrong just want oll brothers and sisters to pray to allah to get ma love back

  15. Hi even now i dont have faith, I hate myself, why god made me 🙁 I am good for nothing, nothing good happens to me, even the person whom I use to love alot left me ,Got married to someone, why he did this instead he use to love me, y he left me, I was always loyal to him y god do this, he he dont fullfill my hapiness.....I want to die ...allaha pls take me ..

    • saizi, if you want to log in and write your question as a separate post, we'll try to advise you Insha'Allah. In the meantime I will tell you that self-pity is crippling. Your negativity and self-pity prevent you from seeing the good in your life, and keep you stuck in one place, so that your negative thoughts become self-fulfilling.

      Try seeing all that Allah has blessed you with, beginning with the basic necessities of food, water and shelter. See what is good in yourself. Pray to Allah (even if you don't feel anything when you do) and trust in the act of prayer to heal your heart.

      As far as your wish to die, all you have to do is wait. Everyone dies. It's just a matter of time. Your time is written for you and cannot be changed. When that time comes, you (and I, and all of us) will face a terrible Judgment, and we will wish we had one more moment of life, so that we could do good deeds and repent for our sins. So until that time, why don't you use the life you have to worship Allah, do good in the world, travel, study, work, make friends, and live!

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. i am also having same story like sweety 180..the person whom i n he love lefted me without any reason..he was also involve in me..but now i am getting so weak...i dnt like to sit n talk with my family frnds nobody..im totally broken..i am always sad.. that i did so many duas, wazifas but my dua are not accepted...after my break up i tried to be more in touch with ALLAH but i feel day by day my imaan faith is getting weak..i felt tht ALLAH is not listening to my any prayers..i tried to be more close with ALLAH and offer his zikar but all in vain.. plz let me knw what should i do..? now i started not ask anything for myself in dua...ALLAH only bring tht guy in my life and he only let me to fall in love with that person...?? many thousands of Muslim girls n boys fall in love with each other and they get married ..living their life happily... but why do i am suffering this pain...i am in worst condition... i tried suicide also but right at the moment my family save my life...how can i recover myself...
    now i feel like i having no purpose to live life..as there is nothing left in my life
    plz pray for me....

    • ashley I know the pain, Even Now i have no Iman for allaha, I know its wrong , But I loved him lot like nything and he left me, he has no feeling for me now:-(. I just learn a lesson never love anyone , stay away from love.

      • You lost your Iman because you attached yourself to someone who should not have had your full heart in the first place. First learn to love Allah and be attached to Him so when you love other things you will love it the way it should be loved. Once you make people and things your number one in your life then you will surely get hurt over and over again. I am not even talking about romantic love only I am talking about everything because everything in this world ends.

        You should move on I know this is easier said than done but it needs to be done. There is no way he is coming back if he is meant to be with you. Please do your best to accept this. Look at how this love for him has destroyed your relationship with Allah. After you die you will COMPLETELY forget about this man, instead you will feel extremely scared that you did not have faith in Allah and you will regret it deeply. Trust me, this is how you feel now but after you die and you are in front of Allah you will not even feel a single sign of love in your heart for this man, you may even deny your love for him out of fear of punishment.

        Fix your life now, this is just temporary. There are millions of people going through heartbreak not only you. Even I have been through a couple in my life and I got through it but the only way is to accept it as it is and just keep on living your life. Just do what you have to do and keep your mind off of it and most importantly improve your relationship with Allah. When you first meet someone you don't love them even if you think you do, you have to get to know them in order to love them and that is what you have to do for Allah. Get to know Him and what He wants from you and why He wants these things from you. Soon you will love Him and the love for Him will keep on growing because it is not the same as the love you have for a human being. And even if you don't feel anything just pray and have the intention to have a good relationship with Him.

        You need to keep this in mind, I don't know if you believe in this or not but listen to me carefully when I say this: The first step in Jannah you will forget all about him and you will see your true love the one Allah has destined to be with you and you can not even believe that you wanted someone else other than him before but on the flip side the first step in Jahannam (may Allah protect you and all of us) you will also forget him because the extreme pain and the torment you will feel will instantly erase all of your wonderful memories of him as well as any good memories you have ever had.

        You will forget about him regardless, you just have to choose the destination you want.

        I hope this is an eye opener for you and all those who are going through these things. This is a reminder for myself as well.

  17. hmmmmmm does dat havnt get d experience shld pray over it not to come ur way; the girl dat i have been long dying for jst wake up few dayz ago to starting changing till she belong to another mans property. i cant bear d pain every moment i tink of her i felt bad i hav been praying to Almighty Allah to bring her back to me yet to no avail: men heart break nothing pains more dan dat some one shld talk to me wat to do to reduce dis painz

  18. hi ...im da one who write this post..after 1 year has been passed..i was in touch with da guy i loved at just ph..sometimes i talked at ph n sms...
    but last week he said i want to meet u as frnd..nothin more then tht...but he kissed me n touched...but i didnt loose my virginity..i bcum weak wen he was close to me...now i was ashamed n in guilt.. i said him wht u had done to me ..will u accept me after dis..he said he want to took my virginity and then he will get married to me..
    i dnt knw what should i do... i really really love him..cnt live without him,,,i prayed day n nyt to Allah in ramadan ..at laila tul qadar nyt...tht Allah plz dnt let me in haram relationship but plz melt his heart so we can marry each other..
    plz tell me wt should i do...? from 2 years i am trying to forget him and avoid him,,,,
    i love him so much..even i try to suicide bcoz i cnt live without him..
    plz plz plz pray for me....as Allah listen to my duas...

    • Sister sweety180,

      You said you intended to forget him. Then why did you meet him? If you really intend to forget him, then you should delete his number off your phone and change your number.

      If your sisters sin, will you sin? If anyone is walking towards the Fire, will you follow them? Will you not advise them to turn to Allah's Deen and stay away from Haraam relations. Such relations are Haraam and should be kept away from.

      If your boyfriend intends to do Zina, then you should not only keep away from him, you should keep yourself safely removed from even his sight. If you meet him anymore, you will commit Zina for sure. If he intends to marry you, then let him approach your Wali and ask for you in marriage, then go ahead with the Relationship. Otherwise, let him go his way and you turn away. Run away from him, as far as possible.
      Then, know that Allah Knows what is best for you.
      He accepts your dua, whatever it be. This takes the following forms. He either gives it to you (this is when it is good for you), or He gives you something better, or he averts an evil from you, or gives the best thing to you in the Hereafter.

      Never lose Hope from Allah and trust that whatever is good is what Allah Will give you.

      Do Istikhaarah to seek Allah's counsel. And never be in any contact with this man.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salam Sister,

      Please do not fall into this trap. Shaytaan must be whispering to your ear right now but as a sister I beg you, I beg you not to fall in Zina.
      I know it may seem hard but please, walk away from this man. He will use you, take away the most precious jewelry you have (your virginity) and leave you and get married to a virgin woman. You have waited 24 years, please do not throw this to the garbage. Let the only man to touch you be your husband. I am a sister, I was brought up in another culture and I am studying in the US. But I can tell you sister, this will be the biggest mistake of your life. Committing zina will destroy you and I speak with knowledge, even the smallest act of zina will eat you up and you will forever feel dirty, cheap, and worthless.

      There is an article that was an eye-opener for me and I prayed to Allah (S.W) not to bring me any close to zina. I have promised not to date again after reading that article. I hope it can help you out.

      http://www.purematrimony.com/blog/2012/06/the-mindless-dating-game-happiness-or-heartbreak/

      Please sister, think about what I said and take the time to read this article. I beg you do not listen to this man, he has been playing with you for a while now. He told you a to wait a year, a year has passed. If he wanted to marry you, He would have instead of asking you to commit such a great sin.

  19. thanx,..for replying...both u suggest me was all ryt....m in deep tension n stress...i really feel ashamed of my self when i luk in mirror..tht wt sin i hav commited...i feel guilt...dnt knw Allah will forgive or not...day n nyt i do istaghfar n do tawbha....bcoz of dis mistake i feel more lonely cox i cant share this my problem with any1...so im just quite..i dnt talk to any1.. i sit alone..cry and cry....wt mistake i did...due to this attitude my family is very much angry n upset...they more scold me ...m hurting more n more...as im in guilt ..i feel i cnt face any1...i feel im naapak...impure...dirty
    i m trying to avoid tht guy to whom i love...but my problem is tht after few days or week i got weak ..n again start contact with him..i dnt knw how to avoid him,. how do distract my attention frm him...coz m at home frm 2years..idle..i had completed my studies...n job my parents will not allow me coz i met diz boy @ office when i was doing internship...
    m very much alone...in deep tension...ALLAH will not forgive me...?? at da day of judgement what will happen to me ? i heard this if one person committed fornication or adultery ..he will marry to the same type of guy who is nasty...
    why this happen to me all.. why ALLAH bring tht boy in my life...i pray to ALLAH for give me sabar..sakoon...
    some time i think to commit suicide coz if i leave him im again broken and this tym my healing will also break n hurt my family too...if i talk to him n he will force me to commit tht sin... i dnt knw wat should i do.....
    my love for him is not fake...i truly love him..but i had never think abt to to this type of sin...he is tryin to do with me...
    plz help me out...plz pray for me....plzzzzzzzzzzzz.....plz save me i feel im in azab...

    • Sister, none can save you but Allah. So, turn to Him. He Is The Most Merciful and The Oft Forgiving.

      What you face is inflicted upon you by yourself. Allah says an Surah al Isra, Aayah 7:

      (And We said): "If you do good, you do good for your ownselves, and if you do evil (you do it) against yourselves."...

      But what you have done is not as great a sin, as can be if you continue your relation or your contact with this man.

      My sister, if you feel lonely, you could write here to us and we would insha Allah make you feel good, but don't throw yourself into sin, knowing that sin is definately ahead.

      Per me, he will NEVER get married to you. All he wants is sex, then he will vanish. You will either be left pregnant or atleast you will lose your virginity to him, while he will not marry you. Would you like it that anyone uses you in such a manner? Are you really up for such a treatment? No my sister. You deserve a much better life. You deserve a much better life partner; he is certainly not the choice you should make. He will lead you nowhere but to destruction.

      You are now clean, but you could become unclean or impure, if you continue your contact with him. Would you like such a thing to happen? My sister, please save yourself with the aid of Allah. Allah says in Surah al Baqarah:

      45. And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer) and truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khashi'un [i.e. the true believers in Allah - those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His Punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise, etc.) and in His Warnings (Hell, etc.)].
      46. (They are those) who are certain that they are going to meet their Lord, and that unto Him they are going to return.

      You are a Muslim who believes in Aakhirah. On that day, Allah Will ask you what you have done. But you could make it easy and Allah May Have Mercy on you if you truly repent, insha Allah. Pray to Him that He does not Hold you for any of your sins.

      The major sin has not been committed yet, but my sister, if you don't move away from him, you will do it and regret later. So, seek Allah's Forgiveness for what you have done till now while feeling guilty, and resolve never to turn to it (to this man) again. Do all your 5 prayers, do daily supplications from the Quran and the Sunnah (you can get most of these from a cool of Duas called Hisn al Muslim or Fortress of the Muslim, which is widely available online and in Islamic Centers. You can download a soft copy from http://www.islamhouse.com. Just give a search command on that site.)

      And do not lose Hope in Allah's Mercy, because Allah says in Surah az Zumar:

      Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves
      (by committing evil deeds and sins)!
      Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

      Allah is full of Love and Forgiveness. You just need to recognize it and seek it. He Will insha Allah shower His Love and Mercy on you if you seek it by following His commands and the commands of His Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

      You are lonely, and have been for two years. Why don't you consider getting married? This way, you could have someone to spend time with, and the Shaitaan will not have so much success in leading you astray, as he has now.

      To summarize, you are still very much pure, but you could lose it if you don't move away from this man. And your sins are much lesser than The Mercy of Allah. So, Hope that He Forgives you. And know that this man is using you to fulfil his desire, his lust. You should detest such a behavior from any man. Lastly, get married as soon as possible.

      May Allah Help you
      Wassalamualaikum

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  20. thnx alot brother...for givin my advice...i will try my best to forget this boy..it will b very very difficult for me to take this step..brother u suggest me to get married as im idle at home for 2years..i cnt get married..my no. Is 2nd last in my family as , we r 5siblings..my brother will b married..then my sis..after tht it will b my turn...anyway plz pray for me...these days im facin worst days of my life..handling this situation is very very tuff for me...
    Remember me in ur prayerz....

    • Insha Allah, I'll remember you in my Du'as. It is difficult, but my sister, you should know that Jannah is not easy. You need to strive, and strive hard.

      I know the practice of marrying the younger daughters later, no much can be done with that. But you can seek Help from Allah. Keep yourself busy learning Deen from authentic websites such as http://abdurrahman.org, http://www.islamhouse.com, and many others (including the book of du'as I mentioned). Be in the company of women who would remind you of Allah and the Last Day, who would urge you to be upon the Sunnah of Rasoolullah Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam. Then, insha Allah, you'll realize that there are Blessings in Tests from Allah.

      Insha Allah, with the Help of Allah, things will become quite easy.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  21. brother waseem..im tryin to fyt with myself..wt u adviced me m trying to act open ...i offer salah 5tymz ..offer salat tawbha...tahajud..everytime i try to intouch with Allah...but im not in sakoon...m restless...i didnt find peace...plz tell wt should i do.... i dnt knw ALLAH is testing me or punishin me for my sins...checkin my patience or what ??tell me some dua for anxiety and stress..so i may get some relief...m in deep pain n in depression plz suggest me...
    2ndly i dnt knw wt should i ask Allah in dua now...1st i used to ask frm ALLAH tht married tht guy with me..melt his heart..give me happy n prosper lyf with him...but now i dnt knw wt should i ask ALLAH in dua for myself... xcept tawbha..coz tawbha astaghfar m doing frm my all heart..

    • Its easy, sister. You just need to gain some knowledge about what you do.

      There are some du'as to deal with anxiety in the Quran and the Sunnah:

      1. La ilaha illa Allah Al-’Azim, Al-’Alim, la ilaha illa Allah, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Azim, la ilaha illa Allahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshi karim
      (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)

      2. “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace)

      3. Allahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain, wa aslah li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaha illa anta (O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, so give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye, and set right all my affairs, there is no god but You)

      4. La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minadh-dhalimin (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer)

      5. Allahumma inni 'amatuka, ibnatu 'abdika, ibnatu amatika, naasiyati biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukumuka, 'adhlun fiyya qadha'uka asaluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka, sammaita bihi nafsaka, aw an-zaltahu fi kitabika, aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika, awista'tharta bihi fi 'ilmil-ghaibi 'indaka, an taj'alal-Qur' ana Rabbi'a qalbi, wa nura sadri, wa jalaa'a huzni, wa dhahaba hammi

      (Oh Allah, I am Your servant, the son of Your servant, the son of your maid-servant, and entirely at Your service. You hold me by my forelock. Your Decree is what controls me, and Your Commands to me are just. I beseech You by every one of Your Names, those which You use to refer to Yourself, or have revealed in Your Book, or have taught to any one of Your creation, or have chosen to keep hidden with You in the Unseen, to make the Qur’an Al-Karim the springtime of my heart, the light of my eyes, the departure of my grief, and the vanishing of my affliction and my sorrow.)

      There is also a dua to make things easy:

      Allahumma la Sahla illa ma Ja'altahu Sahla; wa anta Taj'alul Hizna Idha Shi'ta Sahla
      (O Allah, there is no ease except what You make easy, and you alone can turn a difficulty into ease)

      When you make du'a, make sure you follow the correct etiquette. You can learn that from a book by Shaikh Yaasir Qaadhi called "Dua - The Weapon of the Believer". You can download it from here:

      http://kalamullah.com/Books/Dua%20The%20Weapon%20Of%20The%20Believer.pdf

      Whenever you offer Salah, you should do it with Khushoo. You need to attain a state, where, you Worship Allah, as though you see Him. You can begin by understanding what you read in Salah, such as the Surah Fatihah, other Surahs, Adhkaar, etc. You can learn the meanings of the Surahs from a translation of the Quran (You can preplan what to read in Salah and read the meanings and understand in advance). Read them from here: http://www.dar-us-salam.com/TheNobleQuran
      You can know the meanings of the Adhkaar of Rukoo', Sujood, etc. from the book of Duas I suggested. Download it here: http://www.islamhouse.com/p/39062

      You need to learn how to attain Khushoo' in Salah. You can learn it from a treatise by Shaikh Saalih al Munajjid called "Khushoo'". You can download it from here: http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_books/single/en_Khushoo.pdf
      and
      http://www.islamhouse.com/p/190239

      This should be good enough for you to begin. Insha Allah, you'll find Sukoon.
      You don't need to say that you have nothing to ask. You need to ask for each and everything from Allah.

      The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Man should call upon Allah alone to provide for all his needs, so much so that even if a shoe-lace is broken, he should pray to Allah to provide a shoe-lace, and if he needs salt, he should beseech Allah to send it to him.” [Tirmidhi]

      I hope you will make the best use of this material. If used properly, it is enough for you to build a strong relationship with The Creator - Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. Thanks brother..u helped me alot...may Allah shower loads of blessin on u..Allah will giv u aajjar of diz..u r doin superb job, helpin..suggestin ppl...

  23. im not gettin normal...i cnt stop myself thinkin abt tht boy...my intention was not dirty...i love him alot.. after long tym i cnt stop myself to go away frm him..i call n txt him but he is totally changed..he said dnt txt me..dnt pick my ph now..i think he is married once week b4..i really want to kill myself...i beg in front of him..im suck frm this lyf...nothing is left for me...everythin is over...my mood is soo sad n aggressive i feel lyk to kill myself or kill somebody....
    i cnt tell any1 wats on my mind...wats disastrous is happenin wid me..
    day n night m prayin to ALLAH to giv me sabar... m prayin 5 tyms day..doin tawaba ..tahajud..readin quran..i try to keep myself bzy by xplorin islamic sites.. i pray to allah do ryt for me...let me away frm dis guy if he is not in my kismat...allah u only bring tht guy in my lyf..plz allah help me ..i prayed diz day n nyt..but all is happenin opposite ...why?
    i really dnt knw hw to stop thinkin abt him,,,hw to avoid him..my heart is full now there is no space to bear any more...my dis anger n grief will take me away frm ALLAH ..tht he is not listenin me...i really want to give up lyf..
    m gettin so weak...every nyt i cnt sleep..wat tht boy had done wid me his fakes promises..fake oaths swears..sweet talks..xxx sms which he use to send me..wen i met..wat he did to me is replayin on my mind..
    m in tht pain..not havin words to describe my feelings..
    ALLAH loves us 70tyms more then our mother thts true..but tht also true tht allah only send n remove persons in our lyf..widout allah's permission not even a leaf can move...it is allahz will only tht he send some ppl in our lyf ...n thts allah's will tht he put love in our heart....without his huqam nothin can happen.....
    i dnt knw wt to do wid my self...my sabar is broken..m ended....
    i will jump frm my roofs 4th floor...or will eat sleepin pills...coz i simply cnt handle my self...i had loose cntrol at me..im tired frm myself..thts y i wrote here again
    not even my tawaba not my duas r acceptin..

    • Alright, if you go to the 4th floor and jump, remember that you will literally be jumping into the HELL FIRE. A person who ends life through suicide before Allah does it, then that person will keep killing himself or herself in the Hell.

      According to a Hadith, a person who jumps from atop will keep jumping and hurting oneself in the Fire. And do you think you can bear the Fire? It is 70 times more intense than the fire of this World. Can you atleast imagine yourself burn in the fire of this World? Then how would you bear the Fire of Hell? Please sister, throw the idea if suicide out of the window.

      Allah says that He does not burden anyone more than what they can bear. Whatever you see could be for two reasons. Either a test from Allah to see if you have patience and thank Allah, or you turn away and do Kufr.

      Whatever we do, of course Allah Has the Knowledge, but we can not blame Allah for the wrong we do. Every wrong we do is either from our own self or from the Shaitaan. Only the good is from Allah. Never ever think that Allah does wrong or the wrong is from Allah. It is from your own sins or from your own mistakes, or a test that is to see whether you have patience or you don't.

      My sister, when someone has moved ahead and married someone else, there is no point in wanting to have that person. He was not in your fate, as you have correctly understood. And sitser, reading will not help, if you have doing it with all this in your mind.

      You loved this man, fine, but when he hasn't been yours, then you should accept this Decree of Allah with your hands wide open. Who knows, if you were married to him, you could have had the worst time of your life. Perhaps he was not one who would be able to take care of your needs. This is why Allah does what He does. He does everything for our good, while we don't realize it. This man was NOT good for you at all. If he was, then he wouldn't have been married to someone else.

      You ask why Allah brought him to your life. This is something Allah Knows Best. But I can say that people come and go. It is us who should keep our feelings and emotions controlled. This man made use of you and left you alone when he thought it was enough. And he left you wanting. Would you still love such a person? Would you ignore the Love of Allah for this worthless material love in disguise of the Shaitaan?

      The answer is only with you, sister. Everyone faces some kind of pain in life. Even I have faced a lot and cried to Allah (though not related to love), but Allah erased those times with the times of ease. This is how life is, my sister. If you ignore this and intend to end your life, then it would be something foolish.

      And you know what? Allah is Helping you get away from this guy. For so many days, I feel that you wanted to keep away, but did not do anything sincerely towards this objective. And your Lord Who Loves you more than the love of 70 times that of a mother, Has Helped you by doing this from the guys end. Now he is denying your calls and smss, this is Allah's Help in disguise. It is difficult, I know, but my sister, everyone sees pain. The one who comes out with patience and thankfulness to Allah comes out successful. The one who wails and whines ames blames Allah loses. Which category do you want to fall into?

      Would you like it that you be punished by Allah? Would you like it that you be burnt in the Fire of Hell? Would you like it that you be along with the Shaitaan who is asking you to follow in his footsteps and go dear away from Allah?

      My sister, do not follow the Shaitaan and never lose hope in Allah. Allah is the Only Hope. The whole world will ignore you and leave you alone. The Only One you'll find by your side is Allah, when you seek Him. Is it then wise to lose Hope in Him? No my sister. You are very strong and you deserve much better. Please get over this with a lot of patience and thanks to Allah that He saved you from what you were unaware.

      Suicide is not the option of a Muslim, sister, you have a lot of patience that you think you have. So, practice patience and seek Help from Allah through Salah and Sabr. Insha Allah, you'll see light very soon. I already see the light in your life though. I see that Allah Has Saved you and that He Loves you. You just need to realize this and thank Allah for it. Practice Deen and seek Allah's Pleasure from it, insha Allah, you'll find tranquility.

      May Allah make it easy for you
      Aameen
      Wassalamualaikum
      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • One more thing. Allah accepts Duas in various ways. He either gives it to us, or if it is wrong for us, he saves us from it and gives us what is good for us. Or He Gives us something better than what we asked for, or He Gives a Reward for whatever remains unanswered, on the Day of Resurrection. I heard this in a Hadith. This is why you should never lose Hope in Allah and never say the He isn't accepting your Dua.

      Regarding Tawbah, only that is accepted, which is sincere. For Tawbah to be sincere, you should leave the sin immediately, regret that you have sinned, and resolve never to do it again in your life. This is Tawbah. Did you do it in this manner?

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • it is a terrible pain to have feelings for someone and not have it reciprocated. I know how hard it is for you. This man has simply moved on but things are not that easy for you to be moving on as well.
      I can tell you to forget him or to not cry over the past and all other things but you can not do it now even if you try. Its ok to feel sad dear because your heart is broken now. It will take time to heal and until then you have to hang on tightly to your faith in Allah (swt). Alhamdulillah that you are praying and reciting the quran, I pray Allah accepts all your ibadaht and May Allah (swt) erase all your sins.
      Have faith in Allah, I once saw a man who had an accident and then lost both his legs. He then lost all his means to earn for his family and was in a terrible state. When he was asked about what he is going to do, he calmly said Whatever happened I accept it as the will of Allah (swt). If Allah wants me to be in this state then I am very happy to be like this, I have no complain. I have faith in Allah And inshaallah there will be a way for me and my family to live.
      Whatever happened you have to keep your faith in Allah and ask for forgiveness to Allah. When ever it hurts cry more and more to Allah (swt), He is the creator of us and only He can soothe our pain and heal our broken hearts. It is only with the remembrance of the Almighty Allah that hearts find peace.

  24. Salaam sweety sis
    I am really sad and i can feel the pain you are going through i am also in the sane place in which you are i love my czn and we use to chat text call each other each and every day and even many times in a single day. My czns family came to know about our relationship and his father made him to swear that he will not talk with me again and he promised he will not. I didnt knew about all this one day he called and said me about all this you cant imagine how i was i started crying not eating thinking 2 suicide i use to hate everyone around me and hate myself he always promised me he will never leave me alone i trusted him more than anythng we shared everythng but at the end every promise made by him was fake and he left me easily just by saying bye and he will never call me. I texted him each day more than 10 times he never replied never answered my calls and if answered he would be very rude by shouting at me .I kept on crying and my health became bad and even seeked help by writing here Alhamdulillah i got many advices but then also i wasnt able to forget him. But then whenever i remembered him i use to start reading quran offer nafil prayers and offer tahajud everynight memorized many duas and read them and now Alhamdulillah i feel better eventhough i miss him and sms him sometimes but the pain is not like before. Nothing is impossible you shouldnt think about sucide what you will get from suicide think about your family who loves you think about Allah who created you be brave and turn to Allah and dont say your prayers are not being accepted you will get one day result of your prayers. This pain is just temporary and soon you will come out of it. Think about the health you have got thank Allah for it love is nothing dont go after it love Allah. One of my czns she was so beautiful and she use to get marriage proposals everyday but her both kidneys failed now no1 even talks with her and even no1 will marry her think Allah has put her in such difficult situation we are lucky we have health family everythng. In sha Allah you will get someone better than him or if he is made for you even you can get him back Allah can do anythng you never know whats going to happen next all what you need to do is have patience read quran offer tahajud pray 5 times you will be fyn IN SHA ALLAH. i can understand your pain bcz myself m going through it but In sha Allah we will be rewarded one day this is just a small test for us from Allah. Be brave and show that guy you deserve some1 better than him. Remember me also in your prayers tc alottt.

  25. thnx brother n both sisters for readin my post...im tryin to move on but it is really very very difficult to me..m tryin to bzy myself not to miss him..but memories neva end...if even they r worst 1...wen m more hurted...sad n missed him i inclined towards ALLAH...i cry in front of him to forgive me.. i pray to ALLAH plz help me out frm dis situation..plz give me sabr n sakoon..give me strenght so i can stand up myself again.

    before i was in love ..rest of 23 yrs of my lyf I Was brave courageous girl...i was favt. of my frnz n family tht m so innocent ,strict .. i hate ppl who fall in love.... at tht tym i was very proud of myself tht neva had any relationship..neva cheated n neva touched by any1...

    i use to laugh at my frnz y they r havin relationships...i scold them..argue wid them tht love is fake...boys r not sincere..bla bla..but now things gone totally changed...i dnt knw i attract towards tht guy whom i love..he was da 1st who did frnship wid me n then changed... he used me..play wid my feelings for his satisfaction but i still didnt said any bad word..any abuse to tht boy.

    i think ALLAH has punished me for wt i did...i make fun of pplz feelings emotions n love.. now i feel m disrespect...hatred by every1..havin guilt.. n my frnz who were in relationship wid bf n gf''s r happily married wid each other...now all my frnz laughs @ my condition..i become joke for them..they all left me..
    this is hurtin me most...diz was written in my kismat...

    i can just pray to ALLAH recover me,.. i knw broken heart r healed wid passage of tym,.. but long tym is needed..i pray ALLAH plx help me...neva let me alone...

    anyway special thnx to brother waseem who gave me tym... every tym weneva i wrote here again n again...he adviced helped..console me...

    may ALLAH gives us patience....plz pray for me....remember me in ur prayers...

    • You don't need to mention, sister. What can be better than helping a sister or a brother get closer to Allah. Insha Allah, I will help you get over this, and get closer to Allah with my words, to the extent I can. But of course, nothing happens, until Allah Wills. So, His Help is sought.

      I would like to say that your feeling is not unique to you. Many people have the same feeling, though in different situations. But you SHOULD always remember that these feelings are not permanent. You feel sad, and that is natural. You can try to get over it through remembrance of Allah, but it does not work like magic. But if you see all this with a bit of patience, then insha Allah, I assure you that you WILL find the SUKOON that you long for. Sukoon comes from Allah and it is certainly a Gift from Him. When one finds Sukoon, every hardship comes and passes, the believes remains firm, withstanding all of it, though feeling sad for some time for the bad. And this feeling is normal for a Human Being. The unique one among these are the ones who attain the Sukoon through Sabr in there situations.

      Keep your daily prayers, do Dhikr, do worship with understanding, read the tafsir of the Quran (you can read on qtafsir.com) and try to lessen your grief. I know it does not go in a day or two, but until you try, it'll be difficult.

      Now I hope the thought of suicide is far away from your mind. 🙂

      We are here to help you whenever you face a difficulty to deal with life. Don't worry. Thank Allah for what He Has Given you even though you did not ask for it, and hope that He Will Give you the biggest of Rewards, which is the Jannah.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  26. Salaam Sister
    I can understand you know u seem same like me i was also like you favourite of all my friends family members even my czns familys favourite girl but i dnt know what they might be thinking about me. I always advised my friends not to go behind guys they dont deserve love and all are fake and if someone ignored me once i would never go back to that person in my life no matter what happens ziddi type girl but now my czn ignores me then also sometimes i sms him bcz i love him but sister dont worry everythng will be fyn In sha Allah one day and we will also be happy like others. You are not alone suffering from this love problem their are many brothers and sisters who are also suffering from the same problem. Have confidence and always remember Allah and one day everythng will be fyn IN SHA ALLAH. All the best i will pray for you alot and even you pray for me thanks.

  27. Salam:

    I don't know from where to start & how to complete i m a working women & also a student

    (remainder of the question removed by the Editor. Please login and post your question separately, thanks!)

  28. I need help.......

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  29. Salam, first of all i want to thank you sweety 180 as because of you i have been able to believe that yes love do exist and it is not a sin..i am quite disturbed wont be able to write properly but About your story i just want to tell you that Allah saved you from that guy.. It would possibly a bigger disaster as God knows what is ri8 for us.. And sister neva lose hope in Allah He is there to help and when we perform dua and ask for His help, He helpz us better then we expect and judge.. I am going through the same situation but dear sister my love is not yet married. She loves me alot but due to her complicated past she took this hard step of leaving me behind and believe me she is not a deciever..her marriage is almost arranged and in a month or two she will be you know (i just don't want to say).. I am praying day and night and i believe in Him no matter what happence.. Plz pray for me and i wish Allah help you al5 specialz sweetz 180 before me.

  30. ASALAMWALEKUM I AM IN LOVE WITH ABI FROM PAST 6 YRS .ALL HIS FAMILY NOW ABOUT US .they liked me but now they are saying that they dont like me .they decided to marry abi with his family member .abi dont like that marriage .his family members are black mailing him.iam reading all duas which i now.please tel me any dua to get back my abi back .plz plz plz plz plz .pray for me

    • Rubeena,

      We cannot force things to happen. If the boy you want to marry does not fight the blackmail, what can you do? When you have no control over a situation, the best thing you can do is let go. In this is your dignity. Of course it is always good to make dua, keep praying for Allah to give you the best for this life and the next.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  31. how to bring make an ex boyfriend back into my life? with dua or anything?

    • maya, having boyfriends is not even allowed in Islam. So of course Allah will not answer a dua' for something haram.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Brother Wael,

        I would like to tell something about this site, I already read "user called sean" post I was checking mine and I saw his post is pending and I think you need to fix this option we shouldn't see what other posting while its pending like his comment may harm many people who are already weak and doing wrong thing because they providing email I'd and ph numbers before you admin delete we normal user seeing this stuffs I think it would be better if you make restricted area only admin can see then delete if they think its not proper advice. Sorry if I am interfering in your rules about this site.

  32. Salam 3alaykum sisters,

    It seems like most of you sisters are in love and have hard time letting go. I was in similar situations in my Jahiya days. My advice is to follow the orders and rules of Allah swt, be obedient to Allah and always remind yourself of him. Twakul 3la Allah ( Have trust in Allah) and Allah will take care of you ... this is his promise to us and it will never be broken.
    When you give up something you love dearly for the sake of Allah swt, the most Gracious, Most merciful will indeed replace that which you have lost with something even better, something you cant even imagine, something so beautiful it makes you cry at the thought of how generous our Lord is. Those who are patient will be rewarded inshAllah
    My Allah guides us on his straight path and strength our faith and give us eyes that see and ears that hear and a mind that thinks and reasons with wisdom and intelligence. Ameen.

  33. Salaam All,

    Basically I have been engaged for the last year and half nearly 2 years and inshAllah due to getting married towards the end of this year. (rest of the comment has been deleted)

    • Saliah, wa Alaikum as Salam,

      Please login and submit your question as a separate post. In sha Allah, we will publish it in turn.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  34. i m saba i love my boy frnd too much .but he dnt understand my love . I realy want my love back in my life .he is so much angry on that he doesnt talk to me.he is hindu and we are in relationship since 4 years.

    • Assalamu'alaikum Saba,

      You must know that a Muslim is not allowed to be in a relationship before marriage. And when the person in question is Hindu, even marriage is not possible because a Muslim can not marry a Hindu.

      Do not be grieved about his anger, because Allah's Anger is much greater. Please let him go his way and do not spoil your dunya and Aakhirah, and May Allah Have Mercy on you.

      For further advise, please login and submit a new post with details.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Saba, you are wrong here on every level. We Muslims don't get involved in pre-marital relationships. We don't have boyfriends. And a Muslim woman cannot marry a Hindu. The end of the relationship between you and him is a blessing in disguise. Find your way back to Allah and Islam. Look for something better.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  35. Asalamualikum,
    Can anyone let me know where should i login from?

  36. I have lost my love coz, actually first he flirted with n later he flirted with so many girls, but later he got down for me due to my patience, meanwhile in our relationship, he had proposed an other girl, i got to know it soon and asked him about her, he answered nothing, but here though i trusted him, i was unable to stop my thoughts against him. (rest of the comment has been deleted)

    • Sister Abiya,

      Please login and submit a new post with your question. In sha Allah, we will publish it in turn and you will receive advise.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  37. I have already logged in, but unable to post my comment

  38. Askm.
    Sub ka dukh takleef sun kar ab mei kya kahoon?

  39. why is it that dawood alyahisalaam wazif for love is not working for my frnd. wherever she goes, bcause girls get jealous of her, they gang up with each other and get men off her. they even go to the extent of doing really najaiz stuff with them and my frnd is ALLAH fearing and good so shes paying the price for it.. non stop bullying and pain!
    of course the men ( who initially REALLY like her to the point they shy from her), change and so my frnd ends up with all these BOYS against her being nasty to her like PUPPIES to their lovers, literally those girls boss them like dogs and they do jus to plz them. so one day she was crying so much and said that she was sick and tired and found dawood alayhis salaam wazaif BUT the guys still avoid her+hate her, even though they have love in their eyes for her to the point one boy cam eand spoke to her and ws fluttering but his GF came and took him.. so she tested this out at her work place where guys didnt hate her and even THEY started to avoid her like LITERALLY when she walks in the room they look at her and RUN away. apparently dawood alyahis salaam is effective for mohabbat BUT opposite is happening with her, she only did this bcaz she needs to stop men shes vener said anything to be nasty to her!! whats going on!
    has sum1 done a spell on her she is very very innocent but sadly very pretty as well ;( because her mom die when she was young and shes had a bad life (KASME) but shes just very pretty and naive and broken frm her father and stepmothers family ok plz help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • sabi, I barely understood anything you wrote. What does any of this have to do with Islam? If you like you can log in and write your question as a separate post and perhaps others can advise you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  40. My name is [name removed]. My lover's name is [name removed]. We are Bangladeshi . My lover got a job 2 weeks ago. So she asked me to drop her regularly there. I don't agree with her so she was so angry with me...

    [Editor's comment: If you require advice on your situation please submit your question as a new post for publication - you can register using the link on the menu at the side of the webpage. Please don't post identifying information such as names, as this is a public website so you don't know who might read it. Islamically, you shouldn't be involved in pre-marital romantic relationships, so should either take steps to make your relationship halal or should cease contact. Midnightmoon, IslamicAnswers.com editor.]

  41. Same with me im also sinking very bad in my life i tryed to end my life 2 time but im waiting may Allah wil give something today or tomarrow .plz pray for me also

  42. Asallam o alikum , I just wanted to ask if there is any Dua to get married with the man you love because I am always praying to be with the man I love and he is very rude and selfish his family is not accepting me even though I changed myself for him I know Allah is helping me but if there is any dua please let me know .. Thank you

  43. I would like to get the love of my life back...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.

    Please note that we cannot grant you a miracle - only Allah can change Qadar. Make dua, and trust in Him that He has a plan for you.]

  44. Hey girls up there... I better call sisters ...
    Whats up? Im really sad these days too
    And during my search for the solution of
    Sadness I came across this ....
    I thnk dua's can change ua fate.....
    But y yoa's and mine are not changing...
    Cox humari namaxo ma hi asar nahi hai humari duaun ma kya hoga.... exactly thats the answer to ua question....
    Concentration is something we are lacking in our namaz....parhna namaz aur xehen kahen aur....
    Brain this brain is creating problems .... its getting adapted to the new busy life doing 5 6 task simultaneously .... aur 6 6 kam .akatheykarneyy k ab humitnayyadii ho chukay kay apni busy life ko namaz k doran b nae bhultey..

  45. i had a similar situation. I totally lost contact with him as was advised by my family. I know He is married now but i truely believe the love we had was true and sincere. There will be no one else in the world with whom i can share the exactly same bond.It happens sometimes that the time isnt right or circumstances and we question no one but the Almighty for our sorrows. But we have to trust upon Allah as He helps us make a better choice which is present. My trouble is I never had asked for love ever n never asked for him to come back, in dua. Whats gone is gone..Have i been negligent about it? I do pray he stays happy..but never asked for him to come back specifically in my duas. I feel maybe dua wudv changed my present. Is this so?

  46. Attitude...... Must read
    A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing:
    ** Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
    ** The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
    ** The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
    ** And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.

    At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such a bad year!!
    When the writer's wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on side of her husband's writing.

    When the writer saw this paper, he found this written on it:
    ** Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain.
    ** I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.
    ** The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition passed away very peacefully.
    ** The same year, God blessed my son with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.
    At the end she wrote:
    This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed so well!!
    See!!
    The same incidents but different viewpoints. If we ponder with this viewpoint that what worst could have happened more, we would truly become thankful to the Almighty God.
    Moral : In daily lives we must see that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful but it is gratefulness to the God, Almighty, seeing & experiencing his mercy everywhere is what makes us happy.
    There is always, always, always something to be thankful for God.

  47. Dear sister..even im in the same situation like u..i left him only because i learned being in haram relation is so sinfull..but my love for him still is in my heart.nd he knws it..i told him that i will wait for him..if allah wills we can b together..we dnt contact each other now..but still evryday he comes to my mind and it makes me cry..The day my friend got her love ended with nikah with the one she loved made me sooo sad by thinking why everyone has different fate eventhough all goes through same love feelings..i cant even have a look at my ex bf's photos but for my friend she may be even getting reward for seeing her husband love s face..for same feeling one is getting reward and other is doin sin..Sometimes i miss him so much and cant even checkout his dp in fear of allah.Ofcourse i ask forgiveness from allah for the sin i have done while we were in relationship.but now my love for him still exist in my heart.i think i cant forget him in this lifetime..Plz plz plz make dua for me

  48. assalamualaikum sister 🙂

    i agree with the people who has commented here and i too understand your feelings n the situation you are going throught but my little sis you can't blame almighty allah S.W.T for anything . if you think u didn't get what u always wanted definetly you gonna get it in here after may be who knows allah has saved you for someone more more n more better than that guy...it happens u should have to deal with these kind of situations in your life . this life is just a test think about here after...insha'llah i will remember you in my prayers.As i'm hif ul quraan according to my little knowledge sister you can't blame allah S.W.T . he created you and you don't have right to say that you wnna die you are fed upp offf alll these things because he created you and its haram to hurt your self wantedly .. and might be that guy was not good for you and for your future think positive OKAY? MAY ALLAH GUIDE ALL OF US TO THE RIGHT PATH..AMEEN.. 🙂

    • Walikum Salam.
      Can i ask for help too? I dont know how to call u on my post so here's a brief story.
      I was in a relationship and got engaged last year to him. But things were continuously going wrong and istikharas by scholars (3 times) were negative so my parents broke the engagement. We still love eachother but our families are not at all compatible plus the istikhara thing.its been 1.5 months.

      I am suffering from extreme depression now. My pain includes harsh feelings of guilt and regret too. Did i make a mistake by doing istikhara or was it wrong to let my parents do istikhara AFTER engagement??Should i have done it before the relationship or engagement??? Have i destroyed his life?? Did i ditched him and this will curse my whole life???

      These thoughts make me cry whole day and night? i literally can't help myself. I feel like i need a psychiatrist. I am having severe migraine and eye pain too due to depression and crying all the time. But i know i can never go to psychiatrist because my family doesn't know about my condition. They are happy that i have given up on him and that i am agreeing to the new proposals they are bringing because according to them thats the best for me. I cannot tell my parents my feelings because they are already very disturbed due to other issues and i cannot even think to add up into their difficulties.

      But I need help. I fear that this situation will lead me to nervous break down. I pray five times a day, i do ziker, i pray tahajjud at times.i read Quran with translation, i pray istikhara, i beg to Allah for my peace. I know HE is listening to me but i just can't help myself right now.

      The feeling of love and guilt are drowning me. I cant forget him, i cant talk to him, (We are not in contact now), but everything keeps reminding me that he is dying too. and the guilt that i have ditched him so I'll have a cursed life ahead and i should beg for his forgiveness. but he will never forgive me because i couldn't stand with him against my parents.(I tried my best but all in vain)

      Please advise me what to do and how to tackle things. Please. JazakAllah.

  49. I have gone through this situation but I never lost my faith in Allah I used to pray all the time cause i knew that nothing is impossible for Allah impossibility is mere concept of our own minds but I tried to keep my intentions clear. and Alhamdulillah Allah has given me what I asked HIM for even though I have gone through severe depression and trials but Allah do listen yo our prayers.

    • Walikum Salam.
      Can i ask for help too? I dont know how to call u on my post so here's a brief story.
      I was in a relationship and got engaged last year to him. But things were continuously going wrong and istikharas by scholars (3 times) were negative so my parents broke the engagement. We still love eachother but our families are not at all compatible plus the istikhara thing.its been 1.5 months.

      I am suffering from extreme depression now. My pain includes harsh feelings of guilt and regret too. Did i make a mistake by doing istikhara or was it wrong to let my parents do istikhara AFTER engagement??Should i have done it before the relationship or engagement??? Have i destroyed his life?? Did i ditched him and this will curse my whole life???

      These thoughts make me cry whole day and night? i literally can't help myself. I feel like i need a psychiatrist. I am having severe migraine and eye pain too due to depression and crying all the time. But i know i can never go to psychiatrist because my family doesn't know about my condition. They are happy that i have given up on him and that i am agreeing to the new proposals they are bringing because according to them thats the best for me. I cannot tell my parents my feelings because they are already very disturbed due to other issues and i cannot even think to add up into their difficulties.

      But I need help. I fear that this situation will lead me to nervous break down. I pray five times a day, i do ziker, i pray tahajjud at times.i read Quran with translation, i pray istikhara, i beg to Allah for my peace. I know HE is listening to me but i just can't help myself right now.

      The feeling of love and guilt are drowning me. I cant forget him, i cant talk to him, (We are not in contact now), but everything keeps reminding me that he is dying too. and the guilt that i have ditched him so I'll have a cursed life ahead and i should beg for his forgiveness. but he will never forgive me because i couldn't stand with him against my parents.(I tried my best but all in vain)

      Please advise me what to do and how to tackle things. Please. JazakAllah.

  50. hi my name is nazia im 30 weeks pregnant ihave a boyfriend he was living with me 4 months
    he was a student he has no visa his family told him.to come back pakistan so he went

    then later i found out im.pregnant and i really need him.back please can anyone help me or give me.a dua so hr can return back to england

  51. Same thing happening with me I am in deep pain dont know wat to do we cannot get married but the thing is we have planned to live alone out of city together even if we dont get marrried but atleast we will be in sukoon that we are together in this world till last breath. Right now I got proposal and my parents wantme to get married, I can get married but I cant see tears in the eyes of my Lover I love that person trule madly since 7 years Im 25 years old I do pray but I know we cant get married

    Can any one advice I cry daily and that person is now silent I dont like ppl now i dont like shadis I hate evrything now I am in depression and my parents doesnt know about my condition

    what should I do please, I cant see that person in pain and he cant see me as well...

    • Marry the man you love. It's that simple. If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      And for other young people reading this, I should point out that these problems result when you get involved in relationships before marriage. Protect your deen and your heart and stay away from such relationships.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  52. Assalamu alaikum wrwb,
    I too undergone the sane situation.everything need sometime.jus be patience.your love will back to u.give time...

  53. I am an hindu girl..i fal in love with an muslim boy we love eachother alot..then i alwz use to lie abt on small silly thing then one day i went somewhr without informing him he got really pissed..but we both love eachothr truely and we are in a relatnshp of two yrs and in a long distance relatnshp...befr we started jst like that then we dint knw when we both fall in love...i want to marry him and i am sure abt it but he want to but he doesnt get that confident from me ..mere harkate usse parishan kar dete hai.he alwz told me to belv in allah and all..i nvr did but slowly i started beliviing in allah and i started praying also but he dint knew about it ..then one day wen i went out of station wthout informing him he lost al his hope and told at home to fix his marriage and he started avoiding me..he did not brkup wth me yet..ond day his parents called and told that thy hav said yes to a girl at that time he informed me..i ws really pissed and told that he cheated but he is like i dint knew abt it..and now he is telling that i dnt trust u..i told him al the truth that i belv in allah and al but he things i m telling him jst to get back ..nw wht shd i do::????:nw as i belv in allah and i am a hindu i dnt want to marry any hindu guy i want to marry him so that i can follow what i belive.what shd i do:??

    • It doesn't sound like you really have a future with this guy. I think it's wonderful that you believe in Allah and have accepted Islam, ma-sha-Allah. However, this guy doesn't seem like he is serious about marrying you. Also, he has some real trust and control issues. This problem of not trusting you, and thinking you are lying, is a warning sign.

      If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  54. You are living in a dream world. You are the one is who is making yourself stuck, using nonsense statements such as, "I can't have a life without her." Of course you can, and you do. Stop fooling yourself. Forget about the past and move on with your life.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  55. Asalam u Alaikum. I am 21 year old girl . Im very stressed, 2 years ago i got involved with my neighbour.We both loved eachother alot but all of a sudden he stopped loving me and left saying that im very possesive and very caring, He said I should meet him more give him more time change myself and then he will give my chance. I worked hard to change myself and believed his promise that he will give me my chance and we remained friends,he turned to me when he was sad had problems ,we were very close .He had promised me that he'd marry me in anyway,we will work hard to convince our parents our future will be together only,He had promised me that we would get engaged after i complete my A'levels,I belived him and stayed and loved him because of that only that in the end we will be legal together,he will marry me,but after january 2015 he completely changed towards me he stopped recognizing me ,only rememberd me when he needs something,now through Allah's help i have finally got to know that hos parents had found out someone for him since january because of which he had changed with me,He knew i loved him but he never told me he was about to get commited to someone else and still kept up my hopes high praying to Allah amd wrking hard for him.now everything he had promised me he s going to give to her whos also doing her alevels. I sat for Itekaf this ramzan i do pray too but sometimes it all hurts me too much thinking about everything. Im really confused about what to do , i should wait hope and wish that he realizes tht hes doing wrong by me by breaking all promises to me and doing it all to someone else,he is still not engaged he s just seeing someone else which his parents has seen for him,im his nieghbr so they will invite us too m scared about it and dreading it, i really dontknow what to do. Amd it will be even more painful seeing them both together since we are neighbours ,we will come in front of eachother . Im really worried please i need guidance . Also i have just got to know that before he met me he had a sexual relationship with his cousin for sometime till she got married.but he never told me cuz he is scared i would hate him. Also he doesnt know that i know about the other person he is seeing right now,should i tell him that i know every reality

    • Normally I would tell you to submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn. But the answer to your question is so clear and obvious: this guy is playing with you. You have no future with him, period. He will never marry you. Dump him, break off your contact with him completely, and move on with your life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  56. I had posted this question but it got drafted , Thankyou alot. I will do this only please remember me in your prayers everyone please

  57. Sister if u belive in allah u should leave him.... Allah have a bettet plan for u... Allah loves u so much u r not getting allahs plan he is saving u from haram relations that others are having... Allag wants a better man for u... Just have faith dont go away from him... U should get marry to a man and see u will be happy u will forget him allah will give u strength... He had made u fallen in love so deep to make ur test too hard... Sister allah makes test hard for his close ones u r so close to him he will surely guide u... May allah show u the right path... And sorry if my words hurt u.. ur sister in islam

  58. I can understand you but sister God does not give us this life for love I think I can't write more but know my life is lost I advice you to try to bring your self back best wishes

  59. Hi everyone im Aadit. So my story is tht i love a girl bt she dont love me.so can anyone suggest me any dua or amal to get her back. Guyz i love her a lot n i cant move on. So plz reply my answer. I heard tht by reciting surah fatiha n darood shariff i can get her if i recite everyday. So can anyone give me a good answer?

  60. Actually your 1st mistake is that you were in a haram relationship . . And Allah Talla forbids Haram relationships, but since you liked that boy you prefered him upon Allah and when any Muslim prefers someone or something over Allah, that thing or person becomes the cause of their ruin, this is like a speed bump, which Allah puts in our path to make us realize that it is only Him who is true to us, so that we turn back to Him . .
    Secondly your boyfriend and you didnt actually love eachother in the first place, if you did, you would have waited for the right time and after being married would have had a legal halal relationship but because you both couldnt wait, it shows that both of ypur werent derived by love, but rather you both were derived by lust . .
    If you both loved eachother you wouldnt have been in this relationship, because now, on the day of judgement, you both will be in a questionable position infront of Allah about this, if your guy actually loved you, he wouldnt have wanted that you stand guilty infront of Allah on Judgement Day and vice versa . .
    Because in Islam marriage isnt just sharing the same house or ideas, it is a spiritual connection which is formed merely by words(without a written contract) & its also ended by words . .and marriage in Islam is not just limited to this world but, the pious couples will be together in Paradise as well . .
    FINALLY: i will advise you to make lots of Astaghfar and love only Allah, pray for forgiveness and love of Allah only, Allah will make your life easy InshaAllah, . . Besides Allah didnt bring you all this way just to leave you, the fact that you are alive and breathing right now is because Allah wants you to come to Him, He is giving you a chance to turn towards the right direction and ask for forgiveness and crave only Allah and change your actions that will please Allah, SO DO IT, MAKE USE OF THE CHANCE . . LOFE IS UNCERTAIN, IT MAY END SOON . .
    May Allah make life easy for you . . Ameen

  61. At the first place you are never suppose to ask for 'mauth' reason is that our prophet muhammed (saw) was once in a bad condition having bacteria infection all over his leg and everyday it killed him but yet he never asked rabb for mauth. "Allah's Apostle said, "If a fly falls in the vessel of any of you, let him dip all of it (into the vessel) and then throw it away, for in one of its wings there is a disease and in the other there is healing (antidote for it) i e. the treatment for that disease." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 71, Number 673)".
    Secondly, when we were born allah had already written whom we had to be with so there is no point of loving a guy madly, making duas, going against parents and all that efforts to get your love. Absolutely no, having boyfriend is anyway haram but before that talking to any non-mahroom guy is not prohibited in islam but we all do because we live in that phase of world.
    Thirdly, if you love him/her only go to your rabb and ask and make sure you dont have any contact with that person whom u love neither your going to tell him/her by text that 'baby i prayed for our relationship to get stronger and better with allah so nothing can stop us making us together' if allah wills he can change the impossible to possible in a very short period of time. So never underestimate the power of dua!
    Forthly, few people who gets married,by going against everyone, believe me you should go and ask them how is their 'private life' and also please dont keep into your mind that 'i cant live without him/her' when allah replaces you with your future husband he will automatically make you realise and compare between ur ex and ur future husband and all that will come from your mouth is that "ALHAMDULLILAH RABB FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE"
    Fifthly, loving a girl or a boy is not HARAM! But make sure you just tell them once that u like him/her and want to get married and from then just go to your rabb and whisper in his ears what you want in your life but NEVER TELL ANYONE" and also if you love a person madly dont think of waiting and settling, instead just get married as soon as possible and marriage means nikah and nikah should be as simple as it is possible. In shaa allah Allah will surely show a way to the new companion and i hope allah brings peace and happiness in everyone's life. Ameen! At the end peace and happiness is all what you need even if you are rich or poor!
    Best of luck everyone and stop worrying

  62. plz help me..i m in love since 3 years but i m engaged to my cousin
    suggest me what i do...i m younger.near than 18 years old
    i can not forget my love.help me

  63. Wait for him. He will come back soon and plz dont ask any question about their past.

  64. Take the help of salaat and patience because we don't know what the Allah has decided for us.Dont try to see behind always look forward and try to forget your past
    God is with those who show endurance, the people who leave once never come back and God always arranges its compansation

  65. I'm in a problem and I don't k know how to get out of it....

    • Mehr, you can either submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn Insha'Allah (but be aware there is a long wait) or you can read similar questions already published on this website and see the answers given.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  66. Sister
    I can understand ur problem.. Im suffering with same problem but the reason is different that she left me bcoz she is now with someone else. I just want to say that nobody dies for anyone.. I also thought dat i won't b able to live without her but as tym is passing im praying to Allah that help me to forget her. Sister plz dont get sad for the person who is not ment for u. Inshaallah Allah will help u to overcome this pain and also help me to forget her...it has been 8 months since she left me n every single day i miss her
    I didn't want to remember her but little things that happened then when we where together... I wish i forget all the memories of her...Ameen

  67. Dear sister,
    I remember something very beautiful for you.
    I was in the same situation as you are or I can say even more worse than you.
    But one little things changed my mind....if you are saying that you did prayers dhikr etc etc etc and made dua but your boyfriend left you...you prayed for a man who left you just because he needed time for commitment?
    What if your family agrees to wait for you and and then he needs more time?
    Sister if he loves you...he would put his heart out to make you his wife...
    And about your dua.. here's that something I wanted to share with you...
    Soorah baqarah (2): 216
    It is possible that you dislike something that is really good for you, or like something bad for you. But allah knows what is best for you and you don't know.
    If you believe that allah tells us that he listens to our Duas then believe the above verse too...don't just believe what is comfortable for our situation...
    Dear sister Allah doesn't give you a boyfriend and allah doesn't create love between a bf and gf. It's surely the work of Satan !
    You made the Satan win by saying my faith is turning weak...he must be laughing at you he must be partying because of that sentence!
    Never loose faith in the one who created you and your boyfriend this world and everything in it.
    Give up this man...only for the sake of Allah...just give up... Allah will reward you with something you can't even imagine!
    I hope allah makes it easy on you!
    Patience is always rewarded sister and please turn back to Allah and repent for how you felt about allah!

    May Allah have his mercy on you.
    Take care
    Jazakallah khairan
    Allahafiz

  68. Minahilawan, please register and submit your question as a separate post (in English!) and we will reply to you in turn Insha'Allah.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  69. Why my post is not published yet ?? Its too long I have posted my story and questions as well

    • Assalaamualaikam

      If your post is Pending, then it will be published 4-6 weeks after you submitted it, inshAllah. If it is in Drafts, you will need to finish it and move it to Pending so that it can be reviewed and edited.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  70. Assalam o alaikom wrwb I am 35years old I want to get marry so I joined a grop wher I found some prposls I made isthkara in tha last I met a person we talkd and did isthkara .it was good Alhamdolilah from both sids but families intraction wasn't as we thought I don't know y this happened he is Islamic person and me too so we want to get marry now his family fix him marriage any other side can I do any wazifa now plz tell me I am much confused

  71. I was in a relationship 6 years!I just broke up with him. There is two reason why i did that, first I don't want this relationship in haram way anymore means i want him as my husband no boyfriend. i know i did lots of sin but i am changing now. I tried to pray 5 times and ask to Allah forgiveness. 2nd he seems very confused about me . He says he loves me but he never thought about marry me. I know he has lot of issue in his family on top of that i am 2 years older than him which is a very big deal in my culture. I am completely broken inside. It's been 2 months i broke up with him. I broke up with him but i couldn't stop give up on my love. Since the day i realized my love for him is true i ask Allah to show me the right path. I always believe Allah wants us to be together because the situation i have been through, i faced so much problem but still at the end we always stay with each other. I believe my love for him true and i have totally faith on Allah. Every day i pray and make Dua'a to get him back in my life but this time i want him back only if he will marry me.My intention to have him back is to make him my husband not boyfriend. I have a strong feelings Allah will listen to my prayer but still i am a human being. I am scared if he start seeing anyone and do stupid things, i am scared to loose him completely. My intention is right .This time i let him go so Allah can bring him back in a halal way in my life. Please everyone make Dua'a for me. I am really heartbroken. I am making family wait because i am waiting for him. Is there any Dua'a that i can recite to make my prayer to Allah more stronger? I need everyone's wish and Dua'a for me. I can't really explain my whole situation .There is lot of things connected with this relationship to become successful.

    • Sultana, consider this: you prayed to Allah to show you the right path. Now you and your boyfriend are split up. You have been removed from a sinful lifestyle, and now you are closer to Allah. I would say your prayer has been answered.

      You cannot make someone do what they do not want to do, or feel what they do not feel. The man has already told you that he does not intend to marry you. Stop trying to force an outcome that is not destined for you. Move on with your life and let this man go. He is not the one for you.

      If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  72. Salam and May God bless your days,

    My Gf brokeup with me last month and from personal experience that was the hardest thing in my life, my heart shattered into pieces and this is 1 week after I told her that I wanted to marry her and I was really clear with her that this something i really want, I want to spend my remaining life with her. I never love a person more than I loved her.

    After 1 week, she broke it off.

    Oh ya, it came to a point that I beg her not to do so and she respond with " she doesn't need me anymore, she better off without me around ".

    Yeap, that is mess up right. Trully a sad moment in life. I couldn't think, for a period of time, my heart was just empty and a mess.

    To be honest, before this, I'm a not person that practices the teaching of the Prophet (S.A.W) nor follow the Quran, let alone praying. I'm more like the upper mid level of an Atheist but was a born Muslim. Easier way of saying this, I do things out my desire (no boundries).

    But during the last time i saw her, when she finally break it off, I was also begging to God in my heart, I was begging with all my heart, "just please ya Allah, please change her heart, please don't make her go through this, Please just anything, just anything I'm begging you".

    You know what happend after that, absolutely "nothing". She left me with the coldest of her heart. I almost went crazy after that.

    After any hardship in life, you can either choose 2 things!,
    You can isolate yourself and just keep blaming on everything or You could just go back to your creator.

    In the Quran, it mentioned that " in every hardship will always follow by ease" [94:6]

    A simple advice: make Taubah, open your heart to Allah, trully give in, trust him and he will guide you. "If you have Allah, you have everything". Even a fix broken heart and a happier one also 🙂

    Dont trust me, trust in the word of Allah through the Quran and the Prophet S.A.W

    Ps: I'm not saying my broken heart is fully heal, but somehow (weirdly) I just feel happier in my life. So, its healling very fast!, and Alhamduhnilla.

    Salam 🙂

    • R.A, it sounds like Allah has truly worked a miracle in your heart, subhanAllah. Sometimes Allah puts trials in our path only in order to bring us back to Him. With every difficulty in life, one can turn toward Allah, or away. It sounds like you have been rightly guided and have a good heart ma-sha-Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salam 🙂

        After a few months writing that comment, I regain back my original self, I was becoming to the Man I was before, cause my heart was full again, and it didn't hurt anymore.

        You know what surprise me this time after this, my broken heart started to hurt again out of nowhere. It hurt even more than before. I been through hardship before but never like this.

        To correct my statement I wrote, I was wrong when mentioning nothing happened. In the previous comment, I claim "You know what happened after that, absolutely "nothing" ".

        For the first in 10 years, I was begging Allah SWT to help me.

        Before the incident, I was struggling to get a project from people, however, the week after the incident happened, I was given projects after projects without me even asking anyone. People offer jobs to me. Old friends started to call me out, people that I don't even know (strangers) acted very nice and even some treated me for dinner. My life feels weird to be honest.

        And all of this thing make you forget, honestly. But the pain makes you remember.

        If you think about it, the Mercy of Allah SWT is unimaginable, it just makes you want to cry for being like this when I look back, I really despise for thinking and act such way, not for the things I did but how could you do bad things towards the One that always be kind to you.

        From that time and before I make that duaa, Allah SWT certainly has helped me even if I ask or not, and I be damn if go back to my old ways.

  73. I have an engagement after 4 days and I am not happy because I like someone else bt everyone is happy in my family so what can I do...I tried everything bt nothing works...will the dua change this situation? ??

    • Zainab, you must do your part as well. You must speak up and say clearly and definitively that you do not want to marry this man. Then you must stick to your guns no matter what. Your family will of course be upset, they will try to pressure you and blame you, but stick to your opinion. Islam gives you the RIGHT to marry whom you choose.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Don't do the engagement, tell them you don't want to marry this person. Tell the person they're marrying you to that you don't want to be with them. Tell your mom, your dad, your siblings. Tell them you're not going to be available if they're going to try to force the wedding. Don't go to the engagement. You have to keep saying no.

  74. I Am 20 years Old Boy Muslim My name is Mohd AmeeN uDdiN i love a girl she is frm pakistan day by day my feelings hav beeN even more strOnger and every time i asked lets GeTs married she Say if marriage would be Possible u could? convert to Christan and Baptised as she is Christan and she has a stRong faith she doesnt even want me to xplain sometimes ive said yes i would but i always pray Allah to give him Hidayath and i love her Alot. Always pray that i dnt want anything or any other girl jzt want her to be wd me in jaanah my feelings are stroNg eveb its impossible im frm India but she is frm pakistan i love her Alot... so wat shoul i do now i hav offer Salah tul Tauba for tht sIn but i nver said it frm My heart jzt i wnt her to make her realise tht i truly love her and can do everything for her .....plz Do reLpy...

    • Ameenuddin, you need to let go of this attachment and move on. This relationship is not possible for you. She is Christian and will not marry you unless you convert. How can you give up your faith, the religion of truth, for the sake of a woman? Let her go and find someone who is compatible with you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  75. I am badly in pain for who I love, he betrayed with me, my problem is very different from others I have loved someone from heart and he only use me with false promises and left me, I never thought he will be cheated with me but unfortunately now I am suffering with bad state, please help me I want to back him in my life, it's hard to forget him I am living without him from 8 months and during the period I have continuously contacted with him but he never respond and he blocked me everywhere, I lots of pray for him I put many fasts, namaz etc but the effect hasn't come, I want to Allah help me and he must to realise his mistake and marry with me, please give me satisfied reply what should do now, how he will come back me.

    • Dear Sister,
      I can understand that right now you are in a situation where you think you lost your loved ones and you somehow want him back in your life.
      But my dear sister, you are so special and dear to Allah than you can imagine.. He loves you more than anyone can love you.
      Just trust your Rabb... Your dua will never b wasted. Have you not heard that no dua is unheard.. How can your dua not reach the Lord who knows what you want even without you knowing it.
      Sometimes what we love is not good for us, sometimes which seem to look really a worse option is actually the best one.
      My dear sister beauty of dua is indescribable.. It definitely can change your destiny.. But as in your case, I feel Allah has already protected you from ending at a wrong place maybe... Maybe you are saved for your partner whom Allah has made for you several hundred years before..
      Everything will happen at the right time..
      Have patience and don't stop seeking help from Allah.. Ask and cry to him to help you fight this situation and inshallah you slowly realize that whatever happens... It happens for a good reason.
      I hope you have a peaceful heart by the mercy of Allah and please be grateful to your Lord... Just imagine if the guy left you after marriage???
      Alhamdulliah you are protected!
      Think on the brighter side and no love as dear as the love of your Rabb.
      Stay strong, keep your head high and may you be blessed with the most loving man my dear!

  76. Salaam sister first of All let me tell you that being a muslim means you should havr 100 % faith in Allah that whatever he does is best for us keep this thing in your mind that allah always listens to us i know u r really falling apart n feel sad too because i have been througjt this phase too letting someone go who u love is not easy but Allah has surely planned something better for you of he is not answering your prayers..when ur making a dua to Allah make sure that your part is to wait to have sabar as well amd alwzys seek help from allah by namaz and sabr..Allah is our creator n wudnot he hav planned our future?? If you still are not getting ypur boyfriend i will recommend you to do istakahara cuz that is one of the ways that shows you indications that wether the thing you r asking for is good for you or not..and keep praying never give up being a muslom we should have firm believe in Allah he will listen to our prayers n indeed he will provide us woth the best inshaAllah you will really find what you want all is that you should have to believe in Allah and plz make dua in tahajjud cuz thts the time when a dua i never rejected And allah is closest to you on that time i shaAllah he will listen to you be patient May Allah swt bring you peace Ameen

Leave a Response