Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am so done with my life.

Depressed girl heartbroken distressed

I was born with the best family, best looks, best friends and people around me, best abilities. My life was always perfect. I loved Allah and my parents did too. You see, any girl raised in my situation would be so happy and perfect, but I've somehow ruined everything.

I'm 13, almost 14 in about a month. I'm sick of life and the only thing stopping me from suicide is that my parents and siblings need me and at the same time I'm just gonna rot in hell forever, which im not scared of anymore. Growing up I was perfect, perfect manners, respectful thowards Islam and everythjng.

At the beginning of seventh grade, everything somehow changed and I started to realize things.  I've got frizzy, kinky/curly hair that will never do anything and which is dead, from straightening it everyday for the past 3 years. My body is filthy now. It's covered in scars, marks, stretch marks and darkness in every place and I'm heavier than my mom. I try going on a diet about every few days. Never worked and I never lost a single pound. Every part of mine is messed up and I've tried multiple treatments and products and exercises and I've tried praying and asking God for miracles, knowing that miracles would be the only thing being able to fix me.

Now my personality. I've become crazy. I don't feel like a girl. in the past recent years, I've become irritating, insane, annoying, weird, jealous and just CRAZY. I envy all other girls no matter what. I feel like every person created has a purpose, at least one good thing to them. I just ponder about my worthlessness all day.

Now I know I've got good, a family, most essentials and everything but I just don't see it. I feel like a worthless spirit just floating around envying everyone. My main source of relief since the past two years I've kinda gone insane was Allah. I turned to him, I never missed a single prayer, I did additional prayers, read Quran daily, thought about him all the time, and always tried to be nice to everyone no matter what because I know how it feels to be worthless. I repeated some of gods names more than thousand times daily, and I tried to be the best Muslim I could.

In the past couple years, I started to realize small things that made my life complicated. How come other girls are so feminin and cute when they want to be? How come other girls can do whatever they want with their hair, touch it, brush it, whatever, you name it, and i can't? How come all girls in the changing room at school can look perfect and change without any insecurities and I'm practically filthy, in every way? I know those are small things but at the end it all comes down to one question that haunts me all day, every day.

Why isn't Allah doing anything? I've prayed, been perfect to everyone, and tried every product and treatment to help myself and I'm still like this, inside in out? Why am I so unlucky and why hasn't Allah answered a single dua of mine, ever? Every time in life I want to accomplish or achiever or successfully do someonething, I end up failing and embarrassing myself in every.little.task. Just why? Allah never helps with ANYTHING. When was the last time I needed Allah and he helped me? NEVER.

For the past year or so, I've tried seeking help, talking to anybody, talking TO my MOTHER, the last thing any teenage girl who do, done everything and I'm still a failure. I've started to despite Allah so much, I've tried everything and I can't help it. I'm just so done with life and everything. If Allah ever created a mistake, it would be me. I tried making duas and asking forgiveness for my sins and apologizing but the cycle of hating Allah never stops. There's nothing anymore to do. Physically and emotionally. Even if I got the best treatments and products and laser surgerys and help, nothing works. This website is my only source where I can find someone to give me advice and help me a little. I'm going way too far and i know it. Ive recently started self harm (cutting). My feelings thowards Allah, religion and life worsen everyday. My life feels like a prison I can't escape no matter what.

Im SO Sorry THis IS long, I just can't spill any of my feelings to anyone I know. Thanks so much for taking your time to read this. Bless you 🙂

Lolalitta

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42 Responses »

  1. Life is not good all the time. I understand your pain. I will pray to God that you will get well soon. What kind of illness are you suffering from. If you want to share tour view you can email me at *****

  2. As salamu Alaikum please I need duas am 32 weeks pregnant with high blood pressure please pray for me in this month of rahma let me give birth to a healthy baby I lost a baby at 28 weeks last year. Thank you and Alhamdulilah

  3. Salamalaikum, Sister.

    Would my sister have some patience to read everything and Inshallah my sister would be really happy after reading this.

    Everything happening to you is really, really bad except it is not from Allah, but it is from the SHAYTAN. Can you prove that the bad happened to you was from Allah? No, by Allah, you will never be able to. At least do that before killing yourself, so that when you face Allah you can get away with punishment.

    So why isn't Allah answering your dua?
    Well, Allah says that he would answer any dua of a believer except that the believer goes away from Allah. Okay, Let's say I ask Allah to make me really really handsome, but the dua is not answered. Why? Because Allah sees in the future that if I become handsome, I would fall into sins or commit zina! That's the ONLY reason why a dua is not accepted, Sister! Because the servant goes away from Allah. Otherwise, why wouldn't Allah want something good for his servant.

    So when the right time comes, Inshallah Allah will give my sister whatever she wants. Anything good, sister, but at the right time.

    But people say Allah is so merciful, but where do we see Allah's mercy around us?
    It was narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?’ We said, ‘No, by Allah, not if she is able not to.’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.’”

    See here, the mother would never throw her child in the fire, ya? But what if the baby, lets say, intentionally slips and falls into the fire? that's how people end up in hell fire! So the Mercy of Allah is Iman, which, in case of the mother, is the hands of the mother holding the baby from falling into fire. If you intentionally slip out of Iman, then you'll fall in hell fire.

    What about the bad things happening to you? why are they happening?
    Have you read the Story of Musa (AS) and Khider in the Quran where Khider asks Musa to be patient with him and destroys the boat of people who helped him, kills an innocent boy, and repairs a wall. Khider , is the one whom Allah mentioned in the Holy Qur'an [18:65f.] as the servant of Allah who met with the Prophet Musa and taught him by means of a series of practical lessons about the Will of God and His Actions. Can you believe Khider kills an innocent boy? the reason is Khider knew that that boy would grow up and oppress his parents by rebellion and disbelief and so Khider killed the boy.

    So, the same way maybe Allah (SWT) has put you in trial for you to not fall in greater sins.

    I'll Inshallah continue sister, Please be patient.

    • Thank you so much for leaving a comment. It means a lot 🙂

      • OMG! I can't believe you replied, Mashallah! I didn't get your comment in my email, you know. This Wael (Admin) is getting lazy these says. hahahaha. Could you please allow me to help you build your Iman again? Please, please, please. I swear it would be very easy, please.

        • Ahh Im SO late because I forgot to check this website but it would mean the world to me if I could get some help Thanks man

    • Sorry I'm late! Thank you so much for taking time to write an answer

  4. Oh, forgive me sister. I forgot that you said you don't fear Hell anymore. that's punishment my sister.

    What does Allah say about punishment?
    Allah says that he never punishes people but people punish themselves, except in the case of prophets.

    So, how do we know if something is punishment or a test?
    If something takes you TOWARDS disbelief, then it's a punishment. If something takes you closer to Allah, then it's a test.

    But you were a really good Muslim, how can this happen to you?
    My sister, you used to do good deeds, but you didn't protect them and Shaytan made you lose everything. That's what happens to everybody. People don't protect their deeds. It's like you were piling up a lot of money, but you didn't lock it. I'll teach you how protect your iman, okay?

    The trick is to divide and conquer. Even Allah does not like a servant to do big deeds all of sudden and then completely stop the next day. What Allah likes is consistency in small deeds.

    It's really going to be easy, I promise and you'll reach higher levels of Iman, sister and you're going to accomplish everything in your life, sister. If you're interested, Just reply and I'll explain you everything.

  5. i think its hormone problem you should go to a gynecologist thats why you are getting fat nd another problems. dont worry everything will be alright. talk to your mother and consult a good gynecologist.

  6. Hey!!!, Salamalaikum, sister! How are you doing? I again have to say something to you, It's about dua.

    My dear sister, All You Need to Do is Ask. For whatever problem you have, whatever difficulty you find yourself in, you have the most powerful weapon to ward off the pain that plagues you. It is the weapon of du`a’.

    Insha’Allah, you will be answered. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Verily your Lord is Generous and Shy. If His servant raises his hands to Him (in supplication) He becomes shy to return them empty.” (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

    Allah has named Himself Al-Mujeeb, which means the One who responds. Just as we are certain that the Qur’an is true, we must be certain that Allah, Al-Mujeeb, will answer our call. We should never think that Allah will not answer, because by feeling so, we are denying this attribute (siffat) of Allah. Whenever we are feeling down, we should not hesitate to ask Him over and over again, and to go into sujood (prostration) and plead because that is the closest that we are to Him. If we realize this, the doors of mercy have been opened for us, because the Prophet ﷺ said, “For whoever the door of du`a’ opened, for him the doors of mercy are opened.” (Tirmidhi).

    Your du`a’ is deposited with Allah, and as was narrated from the Prophet ﷺ, your du`a’ does something. Either Allah will speedily answer your du`a’ or He will save it for you until the Hereafter, or He will avert something bad equal to the value of the du`a’ (Ahmad). So we should never leave du`a’. The Prophet ﷺ told us, “Do not stop making du`a’, because nobody who makes du`a’ is forsaken.” (Hakim)

    We must always have certainty that Allah answers. But sometimes doubt enters one’s heart: “…But I asked, I made du`a’... and I don’t see anything?” Firstly, just as we know that Allah is Al-Mujeeb, we must also know He is Al-Hakeem (the Most Wise).

    He may delay answering your prayer for a number of reasons; one is to test your trust in Him. We all say we believe Allah is the Al-Mujeeb when everything lands at our feet, but what about when we don’t immediately see the fruits of our du`a’? I knew a woman who was telling the story of how her husband did not pray. When she married him, she didn’t know, and as the marriage progressed she discovered that he was skeptical of religion as well. So she would wake up every night for qiyam al-layl (the night prayer) and plead with Allah to guide Him. Do you know how long she prayed for? Two years. And she says it was so unexpected; he came home from a business trip with a complete change of heart. It turns out that on the plane he was seated next to a great sheikh who began talking to him. And that is how he changed.

    Another reason is that Allah knows when it is best to answer. You are asking for good looks and He could make it happen at this very moment, but He will delay it because you might fall into sins.

    Ibn Al-Qayyim said he who fulfills the following conditions should know that Allah will surely answer his du`a’:

    1. Have certainty that Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala will answer your du`a’. The Prophet ﷺ said, ”Ask Allah with certainty that He will answer your prayers.” (Tirmidhi)
    2. Show submissiveness and devotion during your du`a’. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Know that Allah will not accept the supplication from an absent heart.’ (Tirmidhi)
    3. Be patient and do not hasten for an answer. The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘The du`a’ of any worshipper will continue to be responded to, as long as… he is not hasty’ i.e. as long as he doesn’t lose patience. [Muslim]
    4. Continue to gain a lawful means of living. The Prophet ﷺ narrated a story about a man asking Allah, saying “O Lord! O Lord!” but his food was unlawful, his drink was unlawful, his clothing was unlawful, and he was nourished unlawfully; so how can he be answered?!” (Muslim)

  7. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

    “Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both]; I hear and I see.” (20:46)

    “Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, ‘When is the help of Allah?’ Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.” [Qur’an, 2:214]

    As human beings, we will be tested. But this doesn’t mean that we are going to live our lives in perpetual hardship, because ‘unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.’ So what does it mean when we are going through hardship? Is Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) angry with us? What if there is no way out?

    Whenever we go through hardship, there are things we need to know with certainty. Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an:

    “[…] Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” [Qur’an, 65:7]

    Certain hardships are so consuming that we cannot focus on anything but the difficulty. But we have to remember that if we were to enumerate the blessings of Allah (swt), we would not be able to count them. Reminding ourselves of the other blessings in our lives helps us to see the test within the context of the grand scheme of things. Just the fact that you can make sajda (prostration), and call out, “O Allah!” is a blessing that surpasses all others.

    There is a purpose behind the trial, and this purpose corresponds to our internal state and our relationship with Allah (swt). Allah (swt) has 99 Beautiful Names, and it should suffice us to know that He is the Most Merciful, the Most Just and the Most Wise. Your test is not being put upon you by a random being, but by the Almighty Allah, who is closer to us than our jugular vein.

    Tests are a way to purify us. The Prophet ﷺ said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that,” [Bukhari]. Our ultimate aim is to earn Allah’s pleasure and Jannah (paradise), and all of us fall short in truly worshiping Allah (swt) as He should be worshiped. Many of us fail to ask for forgiveness regularly, or to reflect on our state and return to Allah (swt). These tests, as burdensome as they are, ease our burden on the Day of Judgment, if we respond with patience.

    Trials also have a way of reminding us of our purpose. If we are far from Allah (swt), the test is usually to bring us close to Him. Whatever heedlessness we are engaging in, the test should make us realize we have no one, no one at all, but Him.

    The Prophet ﷺ said, “When Allah loves a servant, He tests him,” [Tirmidhi]. In a hadith qudsi (a hadith relating the words of Allah [swt]), Allah (swt) tells Jibreel to delay the response to the du`a’ of a servant because Allah (swt) loves hearing his voice [Tabarani]. Sometimes the answer to a test is that need for Allah (swt), those long hours spent in the night, and the tears of sincerity.

    • Brother Yusuf,

      I am responding to you here because the relevant post didn't have another "level" for comments. Just wanted to quickly say that you should not give up on your channel so easily. Channels gain subscribers over the course of many years... Whose to say that some may not really appreciate your "brand" of Islam-oriented video? I know what you mean about the "sad music" videos. You sort of have to watch them again and again to retain the effect.

      Salam,

      Nor

      • Ohh, Salamalaikum, Nor. Sorry for replying late because after your reply I was thinking about the channel over and over, you know 🙂 and could not make up my mind! but I'll go ahead. Thanks, Nor.

  8. Assalaamalaikum, Lolalitta! How are you doing? Alhamdullilah?

    So let's do this, shall we?

    Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Faith wears out in your heart as clothes wear out, so ask Allah to renew the faith in your hearts.” Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani.

    Hanzala Usayyidi, who was amongst the scribes of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). reported: I met Abu Bakr. He said: How are you? He (Hanzala) said: Hanzala has turned to be a hypocrite. He (Abu Bakr) said: Far removed is Allah from every imperfection, what are you saying? Thereupon he said: I say that when we are in the company of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) we ponder over Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our very eyes and when we are away from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) we attend to our wives, our children, our business; most of these things (pertaining to After-life) slip out of our minds. Abu Bakr said: By Allah, I also experience the same. So I and Abu Bakr went to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said to him: Allah's Messenger, Hanzala has turned to be a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: What has happened to you? I said: Allah's Messenger, when we are in your company, we are reminded of Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but whenever we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and business, much of these things go out of our minds. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence and you are always busy in remembrance (of Allah), the Angels will shake hands with you in your beds and in your paths but, Hanzala, time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs) and time (should be devoted to prayer and meditation). He (the Holy Prophet) said this thrice.
    (Saheeh Muslim).

    See? Even even the noblest of companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) experienced this state of waxing and waning of emaan.

    So it has to be what the companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) did! and it's not the fancy 2 minute videos on youtube with some sad music in background neither the antidepressants.

    Narrated `Abdullah (ra): “Verily the best among you (to follow) is my generation (the Messenger Muhammad (saws) and his Companions (RA)), then those who follow, and then those who follow the followers of the first generation. ” (Saheeh Muslim)

    Surah 6. Al-An'am, Ayah 153 "Verily this is My way, the Right Way; therefore follow it and do not follow other ways, for they will lead you away from Him. This has He instructed you that you may become righteous."

    What does it take to achieve the great, great emaan? Did the companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) just have this innate ability that they became the greatest people? So what is it that leads to excellence?
    The answer is consistency!!! No matter how good environment a kid was brought up in, no matter how gifted a kid was in emaan, it's the kid who practices every day. Great people aren't born with a better emaan or a better knowledge than anyone else in the world, it's what they choose to do every single day.

    Imagine your emaan is inside your heart and you have to protect it, but the Satan tries to get inside your heart and make you commit sins and eventually fall into hell fire! So, all you have to do is keep building emaan in your heart and keep the Shaytan from entering your heart. And what let's the Shaytan inside your heart? Well, failing to do anything that is in your control and Allah never burdens anyone beyond their limit. So, what's in our control that we have to do? Very very simple!
    The 5 prayers and a good character. A good character is very simple. It's not getting angry, no music, and Lowering the gaze and refraining from looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” [al-Noor 24:31]

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not follow one glance with another, for the first is allowed but not the second.”

    You miss any of the 5 prayers and you get angry or look at something haram or listen to music, then bam! Shaytan gets inside your heart and makes you commit sins! and REMEMBER emaan naturally wears out and fluctuates, so just 5 prayers and a good character isn't enough, the Shaytan will also enter when your emaan fluctuates and wears out.

    BOTTOM LINE: Keep building your emaan every day and keep the Shaytan out of your heart.
    How do you build your emaan every day? Very Simple, pick your favorite scholar and watch his videos every day for 1 hour. Just do this for JUST 10 days and I challenge you you'll feel like you have everything in your life!!

    Salam.

    • Wa alaikum al Salam
      I've been working on everything you've told me and I've been better than usual in the past week or two. Hopefully I can always stay on the right path. You don't even know how grateful I am for you replying with these long answers thanks so much for taking your time Honestly if it wasn't for your answers I would probably be hopeless but I'm getting better, alhamdullah! Thank you so much and may Allah(swt) reward you for every letter you wrote.

      P.S: I've never been really taught this, I hear about it but how should I as a girl lower my gaze? I mean what should I lower my gaze from? Thanks a lot!!

      • Ohh, one should lower their gaze from looking at things that Allah has not allowed to look at. Those things eventually lead to immoral sexual acts.

        Looking at that which is forbidden is a poisonous arrow of the Shaytaan, which leads a person to commit immoral sexual acts, even if he did not do it intentionally at first. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

        “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” (al-Isra’ 17:32)

        Think about how Allaah connects the issue of lowering the gaze with the issue of immoral sexual acts (guarding one’s chastity) in these verses and how lowering the gaze is mentioned first before protecting the private parts because the eye influences the heart.

        Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

        In these two verses, Allaah commands the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, which is because of the serious nature of zina and what it leads to of great corruption among the Muslims. Letting one's gaze wander freely is one of the causes of sickness in the heart and the occurrence of immoral actions, whereas lowering the gaze is one of the means of keeping oneself safe from that.

        The Muslim has to fear his Lord in secret and in public, and keep away from that which Allaah has forbidden of being alone with a member of the opposite sex, looking, shaking hands, kissing and other haraam actions which lead to the immoral action of zina.

        The sinner should not be deceived into thinking that he will not commit zina and that he will stop at these haraam actions and not go that far, for the Shaytaan will never leave him alone.

        Sexual desire is something that has been created in man and it cannot be got rid of. Getting rid of it is not something that is required of the Muslim; rather what is required of him is to refrain from using it in haraam ways, and to use it in the ways that Allaah has permitted.

        The problem of desire in a young woman may be solved by taking two steps.

        The first step is to reduce and weaken the things that may provoke desire in a person. This may be achieved in a number of ways, including the following:

        1 – Lowering the gaze and refraining from looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

        “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”

        [al-Noor 24:31]

        The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not follow one glance with another, for the first is allowed but not the second.” There are many sources of haraam looking, such as looking directly at young men and thinking about their attractive looks, or looking at pictures in magazines and movies.

        2 – Avoiding reading stories and novels which focus on the sexual aspect, and avoiding reading internet websites which deal with such topics.

        3 – Keeping away from bad company.

        4 – Avoiding thinking about desire as much as possible. Thinking in and of itself is not haraam, but if one thinks about it for too long, that may lead a person to haraam actions.

        5 – Spending one's time in useful pursuits, because spare time may lead one to fall into haraam things.

        6 – Avoiding as much as possible going to public places where young men and women mix.

        7 – If a girl is tested with studying in a mixed environment, and cannot find any alternative, she has to remain modest, serious and dignified, and should avoid sitting with young men and speaking to them as much as possible. She should restrict her relationships to friendships with righteous female classmates.

        The Qur’aan tells us the lesson to be learned from the story of Yusuf (peace be upon him):

        “He said: ‘O my Lord! Prison is dearer to me than that to which they invite me. Unless You turn away their plot from me, I will feel inclined towards them and be one (of those who commit sin and deserve blame or those who do deeds) of the ignorant’

        So his Lord answered his invocation and turned away from him their plot. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower” (Surah Yusuf 12:33 – interpretation of the meaning)

        One of the greatest means of expiation for such sins is offering the five daily prayers regularly and on time. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The five daily prayers, and from one Jumu’ah to the next, and from one Ramadaan to the next, expiates for the sins that come in between, so long as you avoid major sins.” Narrated by Muslim, 1/209

        Have you understood clearly, my sister?

  9. NOTES for sister, Lolallita:

    The goals or the aims of Satan

    Long-term Goal
    Satan has one long term goal. This is his ultimate ambition. This goal is to see humans thrown into the hellfire and prevented from entering paradise.

    Short-term Goals
    The above is Satan’s long-term goal. But he has many short-term goals including:

    1. To get the slave involved in disbelief and idolatry.
    This is done by calling people to worship beings or idols other than Allah. Satan calls the people to disbelief in Allah and to disobey His commands.

    2. If he is not able to lead them to disbelief, he leads them to sins.
    If he is not able to lead the slave to idolatry or disbelief, Satan does not despair. He then becomes pleased with things that are less than that, such as sins and disobedience to Allah. He also plants enmity and hatred in their ranks. Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah have recorded in their Sunans, with a hasan chain the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “Verily, Satan has despaired that he should ever be worshipped again in this land of yours. But he will be obeyed in some of your actions that you consider small. And he will be pleased by that.” And it is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and elsewhere.

    “He enjoins upon you only the evil and the foul, and that you should say concerning Allah that which you know not” (al-Baqara 169). In sum, any action that is loved by Allah is hated by Satan and every act of disobedience that is hated by the Merciful is loved by Satan.

    3. Blocking the slave from obeying Allah
    It is not sufficient for him to call people to disbelief, idolatry and evil deeds. He also tries to block the way to any good deed. There is no path of goodness that man may follow except that he sits there, lurking and waiting to turn mankind away. It is stated in a hadith, "Satan sits in all the paths of the children of Adam. He sits in the path to Islam and says, ‘Will you embrace Islam and leave the religion of your father and grandfathers?’ The man disobeys him and embraces Islam. Then he sits in the path to migration ( hijra ) and says, ‘Will you migrate and leave your native land? The emigrant is like one on an arduous journey.’ The man disobeys him and migrates. Then Satan sits in the path to jihad and says, ‘The struggle is withyour life and wealth, If yvufi^hc younillOe killed and your wives will marry others and your wealth will be distributed.’ He disobeys him and makes jihad. Whoever does that has the right upon Allah to enter paradise. And who is killed has a right upon Allah to enter paradise. And whoever drowns has the right upon Allah to enter paradise. And whoever has his neck broken by his animal has the right upon Allah to enter paradise."’

    “He said: Now, because You have sent me astray, verily I shall lurk in ambush for them on Your Right Path. Then I shall come upon them from before them and from behind them and from their right hands and from their left hands, and You will not find most of them beholden (to You)” (al-Araaf 16-1 7).

    The statement, "I shall sit for them on Your Path,” could either mean, “I shall cling to Your Path [to misguide them],” “I shall keep them from Your Path,” or "I shall make them deviate from it.”

    4. Ruining the Acts of Obedience to Allah

    If Satan is not able to block the way to acts of obedience, then he will do his best to ruin the act of obedience or worship by making it such that the person will not receive reward for the action. A companion came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, “Verily Satan comes between me and my prayer and my recitation of the Quran and confuses me.’' The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that is a devil called khinzah. If you feel that occurring to you, seek refuge in Allah from him and spit (or blow*) on your left side three times.. The companion said he did so and Allah took that devil away from him. (This was recorded by Muslim in his Sahih.)
    The action is not actually that of spitting but it is actually something between blowing and spitting, where one simply “spits” out a large portion of air

    The ways of Satan in leading humans astray

    Satan does not come to the human and say, .Leave this good deed and do this evil deed in order to make your life in this world and the next a miserable one.. If he behaved in that manner no one would follow him. Instead, he uses many ways to deceive the slaves of Allah including

    (1) Making evil look good

    This is the way that Satan used and still uses to mislead mankind. He makes the false appear in the form of truth. And he makes what is true appear like falsehood. He will always try to make humans like falsehood and dislike truth until the human is pushed to doing evil deeds and turning away from the truth. As Satan himself to the Lord, .He said: My Lord! Because you have sent me astray, I verily shall adorn the path of error for them in the earth, and shall mislead every one of them, save such of them as are Your perfectly devoted slaves.

    We can look at the allies of Satan today to see how they use this same method to mislead the slaves of Allah. For example, the socialists and communists are calling people to their ideologies and claiming that their ideologies will put an end to confusion, perturbation, waste, hunger and so on. Similar they call women to come out of their houses, dressed but naked, in the name of freedom. And they call people to illicit movies and plays that insult honor and dignity and involve people in forbidden things, all in the name of art. It is this poisonous way of thinking that leads people to put their money in the banks and to take the interest from such money in the name of progress and profit. These people call being religious .backwardness., old fashioned. and .being behind.. And they call Muslim preachers crazy and agents of the East and West. All of that is part of this strategy of Satan since the time of Adam. He makes the falsehood look beautiful and correct and distorts the truth to the point that people hate it.

    I will continue if you want. : )

    • Thank you so much no words can show how grateful I am. I am hooked to all the advice that you've given and hopefully if you have time, the one thing I'm missing is: how can I truly love Allah(swt) and be 100% sure that he loves me back too? I just don't get how some people love god so much, more than their family. I guess I have no emotions, Really. Thanks so much

      • Assalaamualakium, How you doing?

        Yes, there is a way to truly love Allah. The more and more you read about Allah, the more and more you would love Allah. Let's say you read about how much Allah loves you as a servant, then what happens is your heart naturally humbles and you would want to love Allah more and more and you would praise Allah more and more and you would love to perform your 5 prayers and so on.

        Hmmmm, so you have to read about all the Prophets from Adam (as) to prophet Muhammad (saw) and see how much Allah loves them and how Allah guides them and about Jannah that Allah has prepared for us or I could paste right here briefly about all of that? would you like that?

        And you'll find in this hadith how the companions' love increased and decreased when they were closer to Prophet (pbuh) and away from the Prophet (phuh):

        Hanzala Usayyidi, who was amongst the scribes of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). reported: I met Abu Bakr. He said: How are you? He (Hanzala) said: Hanzala has turned to be a hypocrite. He (Abu Bakr) said: Far removed is Allah from every imperfection, what are you saying? Thereupon he said: I say that when we are in the company of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) we ponder over Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our very eyes and when we are away from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) we attend to our wives, our children, our business; most of these things (pertaining to After-life) slip out of our minds. Abu Bakr said: By Allah, I also experience the same. So I and Abu Bakr went to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said to him: Allah's Messenger, Hanzala has turned to be a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: What has happened to you? I said: Allah's Messenger, when we are in your company, we are reminded of Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but whenever we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and business, much of these things go out of our minds. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence and you are always busy in remembrance (of Allah), the Angels will shake hands with you in your beds and in your paths but, Hanzala, time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs) and time (should be devoted to prayer and meditation). He (the Holy Prophet) said this thrice.
        (Saheeh Muslim).

        “Allah says: ‘Whoever takes a close friend of Mine as an enemy, I declare war on him. My slave does not draw closer to Me by anything more beloved to Me than that which I have made obligatory upon him, and My slave continues to draw closer to Me by doing naafil (supererogatory) deeds until I love him, and if I love him I will be his hearing with which he hears, his vision with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. If he were to ask of Me, I would surely give to him; if he were to seek refuge with Me, I would surely grant him refuge.

        Allah says: "I do not hesitate about anything that I want to do as I hesitate to take the soul of a believer, for he hates death and I hate to hurt him.” - See how much Allah loves us?

  10. Assalamalaikum, has it been hard for you, sister? Are are you able to follow the advise I gave you?

    • Wa Alaikum as Salam

      It's been as while I forgot to check this website because I forgot my password :).. but anyways..thanks to you I've gotten better alhamdullah. Well I'm still working on it but there's a huge improvement. Thank you sooo so much for helping me all this time I've tried talking to so much other people and nobody ever gave me proper advice. Thank you so much and bless u!!

  11. Mashallah, I'm so happy you replied again! Here's one last advise and I won't disturb you again unless you ask me, I promise.

    The reason I asked you to watch videos for 1 hour every day is because the way to control your anger or looking at forbidden things or controlling any desire is not pushing your will power. You need to increase your emaan for that. It's very simple: You increase your emaan and the emaan controls the desires! That's the beauty of Islam.

    The scholar that you watch videos of really really matters. If the scholar is deviated even a little bit, it won't help you. So I have a very good scholar for you. His name is Yusha Evans. Please begin with his videos, my sister. Watch his videos for just 3 days and if you don't feel like you're on a completely different level, I'll agree with whatever you say. Deal? Pick any of Yusha Evans' video and remember every day 1 hour consistently.

    • Alright..it's a deal Thanks so much again.

      • @Lolalitta if I may, there is a scholar I listen to that always increases my faith that I would like to suggest to you as well, in hopes that maybe he may help you too. His name is Sheikh Metwally Al Sharaawy (peace be upon him), or simply Sheikh Sharaawy. He is the best, in my honest opinion. I've watched his lectures on TV growing up as a teen till now (well I'm 18, still technically a teenager.) You can find lots of his stuff on YouTube. He speaks in Arabic, however. If you don't know Arabic though, don't worry, I don't either!! There are videos of his on YouTube with English subtitles, so those are what I watch. And if you want, you can get someone who speaks Arabic to translate, it is worth it. Sometimes I'll show my mom a video and ask her to translate and tell me what he's saying, and that works. Please try one of his videos as well and let me know what you think.

    • I have been reading all of the advice you posted here, since I found this post by searching up the problems I have been having, which are the very same as the poster. And reading all of this has helped me so much and raised my imaan, I am so thankful to have found this. I've bookmarked this page and each time I've been feeling down, I come back to read all of your posts word for word and it helps me so much. It talks rational sense into me and that is why I feel better. I guess this is why Allah said "and those of you with knowledge." May you be blessed and all your sins forgiven, and may you be greatly rewarded for all of these posts you have made, and may you be rewarded for every single second you spent to write them. Ameen. Please continue to spread your knowledge, it is helping more people than you know and it is some of the best advice I've seen on this website.

  12. May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you, dear takawwkul and sister Lolitta. I apologize for the late reply.

    I thank Allah for bringing sister Lolitta into my life and the blessings I've been gifted through helping her and I am so thankful , dear tawakkul, for your beautiful dua and that is the most beautiful dua somebody has ever made for me! and it made my heart cry, Subhanallah and I'm hugely indebted to you and Lolitta for your duas and I can't think of any better dua than yours, So I ask Allah the same for you and for sister Lolitta: " May you be blessed and all your sins forgiven, and may you be greatly rewarded for all of these posts you have made, and may you be rewarded for every single second you spent to write them. Ameen. You've a beautiful taste for scholars, Mashallah. My Sheikh Sharaawy's favorite was the Ibn Adam advice. Thank you. Jazāk Allāhu Khayran, tawakkul and Lolitta.

    • Thank you thank you

    • Hello, sorry about my late response! I am so happy that the dua made you happy! You deserve it, you helped me and Lolalitta a lot. Thank you so much for your dua as well, and yes, Sheikh Sharaawy is the best, isn't he? Thank you for all your help. Peace and blessings.

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