Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am worried that I might have destroyed my marriage

Sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment is unacceptable and unlawful.

Asalaam alaikum,
I am a 23 year old lady, recently married not more than a month. The day after our nikka my husband left for work and is to be gone for a month. In my family some of my aunties practice shirk, on the day of my nikka someone wished on my sisters and me to get married and give birth to still borns so I wanted to pray for my marriage and new home.

I invited a sheikh to my new home to help me pray and recite duas for me and for Allah to bless my marriage, on this day I fasted in order to receive Allah's mercy and for Him to accept my prayer that day.

The sheikh recited over some water(ruquya) and told me he had to smear it all over my body. I rejected at first but he assured me it was halal and that's how it was supposed to be done. Since he is a sheikh and I believed he knew more of Islam I agreed, he smeared it all over my body, stomach e.t.c..

When he left my heart felt so heavy and I couldn't help but believe I had been taken advantage of. I checked online and most sites prohibited ruquya to be applied this way.

It's been three days and I cry every day seeking Allah's forgiveness and praying. I feel like I have let my God and Husband down. I don't know if I should let my husband know about it when he gets back, I just told him about the sheikh coming and he was so angry that I let him in without letting him know. Please help me it's weighing heavy on my heart I can't help but feel like I did a horrible thing in Allah's eyes.

My intention was pure but the sheikh insisted that since it was to do with my womb he had to smear it all over my body as a way to heal me, he would then recite and make duas. I feel so down. I don't know if and how I should tell my husband, also I feel like I disobeyed Allah for He blessed me with marriage. I am losing my mind. Help me.

Jazeerah nila

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8 Responses »

  1. walaikum asalam,

    a non mahram is not allowed to touch a woman no matter who he is. you shouldn't have let him in since your husband is away. he fooled you no such thing as to heal a body, womb so he has to smear all over your body etc. i heard so many so called sheikh who do this just so they can touch women and they take advantage of.

    if you tell your husband, you may jeopardize your marriage but if you bottle it up, it will destroy you, which can lead to severe depression. some times the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do.

    peace..

  2. Sister you had good intentions, it was a mistake, ask Allah for forgiveness and for strength to overcome your emotions. Never be left alone with a non mahram, doesn't matter who it is! Dont trust anyone! Maybe you should tell your brother or father? InshaAllah you and your husband live long and happy lives together and may Allah swt protect you from any harm.. Take care sister

  3. Assalamu 'alaikom wa RahmatuAllahi wa Barakatuh!

    Sister, the "sheikh" deceived you and took advantage of you. IF I'm not mistaken there is no such thing as smaering water over somebody's body to heal them. Besides, I do not think there is anyhting wrong with you. Even if someone wished terrible things onto you they will not happen unless Allah SWT has decreed them for you.

    Also, in Islam we worship Allah directly and pray to him directly without any middleman. Therefore you do not need a sheikh to have your home and family blessed, but ONLY Allah.

    And, as they mentioned above no non-mahram man should be let into your home in the absence of your husband.

    Now that it is all said and done, you made a mistake, we all do. Repent to Allah, ask for His forgiveness and be more careful in the future. Please, try to see this experience as good thing rather than a bad thing. Because of it, you now know things about Islam that you did not know before and now you can be a better Muslim. You have now been reminded of Allah's blessing in that you're happily married and in that He is the one you can always turn to for help. You can also see that Allah is truly merciful and beneficient. Think of all the things that could have gone wrong during that sheikh's visit (your husband's relatives could have walked in, neighbours could have seen a strange man entering your home and used this to initiated your husband's suspicion , the sheikh could have raped you, you could have died in a state of sin et.c). Allah prevented all those things from happening because you are His slave and He loves you and has mercy on you. And, perhaps, He wants you to turn to Him, learn more about Islam and become one of the best Muslims.

    Sister, Allah is the All-Forgiving the most Merciful, so turn to him, ask for His help and forgiveness and believe that he wants what is best for you.

  4. Salam sister,
    I hope you are well. Just wanted to say that this was appalling and disgusting behavioir from this so called sheikh!!! I'm worried how many othet girls he is taking advantage of in the name of religion. Something should be done about that.

    In your case, you really havent destroyed your marriage. Your intentions were not wrong. However you seem quite naive which makes you vulnerable. In the future never invite a non mahram, even if it is a family member eg cousin/brother in law etc into your home when your alone. Never ever let any non mahram man touch you in the name of religion, that's just wrong and perverted!!! The exceptions would of course be a doctor for example who may be treating you for medical reasons.

    In this instance, don't mention it to your husband. Focus on your marriage, make Dua to Allah SWT rather than getting involved with sheikhs.

    May Allah swt bless your marriage Ameen

  5. You are 23 year old. How could you let a Seikh touch your body all over in the name of healing?
    Seikh may come back to do more healing.
    I agree with bucks, this sheikh!!! may be taking advantage of many other girls in the name of religion. Something should be done about that.

    Don't tell your husband what happened between you and Seikh.

    You should talk to some one in power who can arrange a woman to go to that Seikh for healing and record his converstion or make a video where he suggests rubbing water all over her body. His video can be put on youtube.

  6. Sister ,

    This Sheikh is a big fraud and as mentioned above by some members he might be taking advantages of other girls too .
    He should be reported to police .

  7. Slms
    Sister Stay away from rituals and Shieks
    Islam is very simple Ask Allah directly
    And dont worry You did not do anything wrong
    Regards
    Ahmed

  8. salam,

    WOW!! if he wanted to have sex with you to help you?, lady, thats just common sense, and as a result of jahiliat and lack of common sense, you were taken advantage of.

    you don't need to mention it to your husband, and only ask Allah's forgiveness, you had no ill intention, so its not your deliberate fault

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