Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I call her sister, how can I marry her?

An Australian Muslim family

Assalamu-alaikum ahle Islam,

Today i want to share something on this site and please for the sake of Allah s.w.t I need some serious advices.

I am a 21 years old college going guy who was in not-so-very condition religiously. I came in good terms to a girl of my batch. She is a very religious girl alhamdullillah. But I did not wanted her to mistook my intentions so I called her my sister. She also calls me her brother and we spent good times at college without leaving the boundries of Islam.

She unknowngly influenced me so much that i became offering salaat , recite Quran. But now it has become clearer than ever for me that she could be best girl i can marry and any thought if her getting married to someone else (God Forbid) scares me.

I cannot tell her about my feelings because she still calls me her brother and if i do she would break  every contact with me.

Tell me what should i do?

- hopefull7


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9 Responses »

  1. Salamu'alaikum,

    My brother, there is no relation of brother/sister, except by what Sharee'ah mentions (blood and milk). You are a non-Mahram for her and she is Halal for you in marriage. If you intend to marry her, then, without a delay, approach her parents, speak to her in the presence of one of her Mahrams. If you do not intend to marry her, then cut all contact with her.

    This is the best thing you can do, per me.

    Muhammad Waseem

  2. Asalaam alaikum,

    I concur with the advice given above. It's important that you realize that if you were to sit and remain silent, your intention of knowing her is tainted and thus, will lead to haram interactions and/or future heartbreak. You need to see her as a servant of Allah (swt) and respect her status and reputation in front of our Lord, if you wish to be the kind of man who deserves a God loving wife.

    The best thing to do is to address your intentions and not hide them. You will either have her hand in marriage or not, as there is no in-between.

    So gather your courage, make a proper proposal or leave her to continue on with the rest of her life and you with yours', individually.

  3. mashallah she had a very religious impact on u...may allah bless her..yo should tell her or if not tell ur parents that u would like her hand in marrige adn if she says yes then ......maybe she has the same feelings for u..

  4. Assalam Alikum
    brother you don't have any blood or milk relationship with her that you can't marry her.if your feelings are pure and you wanna marry her but you are confuse what to do then my advice is to offer salat istekara. if you get positive result then first thing you should do is tell her you wanna marry her,if she says yes then involve your parents.
    may Allah show you the right path,ameen

  5. Brother Hopefull7,

    If you want less drama, see:

    If you are financially able and can accomodate her needs as well as your parents won't hold any objection , then propose to her. If, she says no (or she says, yes but later her wali says no and she is unable to convince her parents), then you will have to break all contacts with her. There is no such thing in Islam as 'let's be friends' with the opposite gender and move on with your life and let her be. Your intention have changed. Your intention is no longer to enhance yourself with secular studies with her.

    Regarding your religious practises, no matter what the outcome be, you wil need to (with Allah's guidance) continue praying, read the Quran and do the other obligatory and sunnah acts of worship. You need to make provision for your hereafter.

    May Allah (swt) makes this easy for you.

    Best wishes,
    Your sister, parveen.

  6. Tell her ur mind and i am 100% sure that she have the same fellings for you but cant tell u, and immidiately she say yes arrange for your nikah in order not to disobey Allah(s.w.t)

  7. I think you should propose her. She is halal for you. Just go & tell her. Then get married & lead a happy family life with her. May Allah bless you...

  8. The same case I am facing, the girl whom I love and like and she's my classmate but she is widow with 4 children but I want to marry her but she said to me that you are like my brother so what should I do and should I tell her about my feelings or not??

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