Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I can’t ignore him….


camera vide chat

Assalamualaikum Wah Rahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu,

I'm a 24 year old girl, and the person whom I love is 30 years old. My story began 3 years ago. At that time I didn't notice how much I loved him. Our conversation began by a phone call by him. Then we began messaging by phone everyday.

One day I decided to add him to my Facebook account, and he also agreed to add me to his. Although we had Facebook, we were talking each other over the phone for one year. But after one year I realized that I'm falling in love with him.  I told him about it at that time, and he accepted me.

Then we decided we see each other by skype. One day we saw each other on skype, and we were chatting and talking to each other that way. One night, he asked me to undress. I told him that it was unfair and it would disrespect our love. He refused, and every night he forced me to do that. One night I couldn't control myself,  I difn't know what do with myself.  I did what I actually didn't want to do- I undressed myself and showed him everything. One thing I should tell you here is that he never told me loved me or would marry me.

-Tani Islam

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8 Responses »

  1. He knows that, u r not his type of girl, nor he loves.. he is just exploiting ur love.. he'll leave u, wen he realize, he'll get nothing get more from u for his satisfacion, or the day he get his type of girl, my advise is jst leave him, I know its hard for u, the more u'll close to him, the more u'll get hurt.. and do ur salat at time, and read Quran, it'll give u peace in ur heart..

  2. assalamoalaikum sister This man is inviting you to Haraam actions and you are falling for him .Never ever repeat this act again .Who knows he might have recorded your video and publish in some adult sites in Internet ? So this will spoil your relationship with allah and also with the world .Throw him out of your life .Do sincere repentance and try to become good muslimah.

  3. He is just ruining your life... Turn to ALLAH before its too late cuz he is gonna leave you sooner or later so before he takes any such step which will hurt you deeply just leave him seriously and repent to ALLAH...

  4. Wa 'alaikom alsalam wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuh.

    Sister, the fact that he let you undress afore him is evidence that he does Not love you. No Muslim man brought up in a muslim household (I'm going to jump ahead and make that assumption ) would ever let a woman he loves or his heart holds dear enough to wish for her as a wife commit such a sin and such a transgression on her self-respect and integrity. If he truly loves her he will only seek her within the boundaries of Allah and fear His wrath for her.

    And the fact that he would repeatedly ask you to do so shows poor character. Do you really want to love/marry a man of such poor character that he begs you to undress for him out of wedlock? And, if you're thinking he loves you so much he can't wait until he marries you or that his heart longs for you then you're just deceiving yourself. He asked it for his own pleasure and he proved that he does not care for your respect, honor or whatever dangers you may be exposed to as a consequence.

    This man is no good for you and you deserve better. You said that he never claimed he loved you? Now, you need to start believing that he really does not love you and that he never will.

    Break off all contact with him (no, he doesn't deserve an explanation) and forget him. It will be hard because you spent so much time in contact with him, so much time thinking about him and because you gave him an intimate peak I assume you've never given anyone before.

    You made a mistake, but it is not the end of the world. Repent to Allah sincerely, ask for His forgiveness and guidance and ask Him for the strength to move on. Be mindful and timely about your prayers because

    Surah Al-Ankaboot, Verse 45:
    اتْلُ مَا أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ

    Recite that which has been revealed to you of the Book and keep up prayer; surely prayer keeps (one) away from indecency and evil, and certainly the remembrance of Allah is the greatest, and Allah knows what you do.
    (English - Shakir).

    Don't lose hope, don't become depressed and work on increasing your taqwa. A while back I came across a comment on this site and I think the posters advice is worth keeping in mind so I'm quoting it below. " A girls heart should be so deeply in love with Allah, that a man would have to seek Allah to find her." Please, think about that for a while.

    Sorry, the comment became so long.

    May Allah help and guide you.

  5. OP: I undressed myself and showed him everything. One thing I should tell you here is that he never told me loved me or would marry me.

    What is your question? He asked you to undress and you did? He did not force you to do it. He did not mislead you by telling some thing like "I love you".

  6. SIster, what is your question after you told us a story? Repent to Allah, cut the relationship, never talk to a maham. You are crossing the line and you committed a sin. Repent sincerely to Allah, examine your relationship with Allah and go back to him. He is all merciful and forgiving. Repent.

  7. stop all correspondence ..... just FULL STOP. and never look back again or speak about it again to ANYONE .

    repent,repent ,repent.

    be grateful that you havent met him in person yet.

  8. Assalaamualaikam

    Sister, this guy doesn't respect you or care about you. If he did, he would respect Islamic boundaries and not ask you to do things you're uncomfortable doing. This isn't love. Love grows within a halal relationship and is based on respect and shared values.

    Stop allowing this guy to use you - stop all contact with him, block him from your online accounts, make your accounts private, and don't look back. Repent for the sins you have committed, and ensure you don't repeat them, by avoiding private correspondence with non-mahram guys and strengthening your commitment to maintaining Islamic values.

    Midnightmoon editor

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