Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I can’t love my husband

Salam
I m married to my cousin, my parents loves him to bits but i can't stand him, forget touching i get irritated when he looks at me. I don't know why he is a very nice person but i just cant love him. I want divorce but my family is not supportive. I m 28 years old and been married to him for 6years.
Please help what should do?? I can't love him
And I don't want to upset my patents. I see no way out...

please help me

and to make it worse a "friend" promised me to get marry to me after i get divorce (for 4years he kept telling me.. ) when i need him now he just disappeared

nadia


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8 Responses »

  1. Ist of all you should maitain this relationship on its your parents.they will support you if any problem in future.And see for God he will do best in favor of you. If you still not happy then you can divorce him but if some one could accept you.after commitment to accept then divorce him otherwise you will not adjust your self.I can accept you if you are happy with me for your good safe.Pls reply me if you like... [Email address removed by editor]
    Yours
    Sher

    • Now that you're in a marital relationship, u must conduct yourself n not cheat someone who believes n cares.. As u said, the friend disappeared when you needed him... Where has he gone... Do you expect a fair deal while you yourself cheat someone? Cheaters deserve to be betrayed.. That's what I could feel from your case.. Might be harsh for you, but you shouldn't be turning a blind eye... Respect your relationship n have commitment towards him.. May Allah grant you wisdom to think properly rather than being tied up in a mirage.

  2. First, if you decide to divorce, then you should that for yourself, and nor because somebody promised you something.

    Secondly, if you are unhappy in your marriage and know you can not honor this marriage /commitment, which does require love, then your only option is to leave. Either you can can initiate it, or he can.

    Third, I don't know what to say to the parent issue. Its so strange to me. If you dont want to upset them then I guess you will just have to live with him for the rest of your life just so you may please them. Your parents should be interested in your happiness. Yet too many seem more interested in keeping up appearances even if their kids suffer. Can you live in this marriage? Bear him children? Put on face smiles and pretend you love him?

    You are an adult woman. Surely you should know what's best for you and be able to make your own decisions. You can't have it both ways. nobody here can make the decision here for you.

  3. You can't have your cake and eat it too. My advise is, get out of relationship, not because I care about your problem but because you are making a decent loving man life hell. He deserve better than you. Parents, well they will come along with you sooner or later.

  4. 6 years? That's crazy. Man at the end of the day if you truly tried, do what makes you happy. Why stay with someone when you're not happy and in love? Make your happiness a priority please. You deserve to be happy! All the best inshallah

  5. OP: I m married to my cousin, my parents loves him to bits but i can't stand him, forget touching i get irritated when he looks at me. I don't know why he is a very nice person but i just cant love him. I want divorce but my family is not supportive. I m 28 years old and been married to him for 6 years......A "friend" promised me to get marry to me after i get divorce (for 4 years he kept telling me.. ) when i need him now he just disappeared.

    Your friend got what he wanted from you and disappeared. You should be thankful to God he did not leave you after your divorce from your cousin husband. What do you mean "forget touching I get irritated when he looks at me"? Are you trying to imply you did not have sexual intercourse with your husband during all these 6 years of marriage. You are 28 years old, you may have problem finding another husband as a divorced woman. Try to look for good things in your husband.

    "

  6. Don't blam others for your situation.look into your past to find what you led and where you are.

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