Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I committed Zina and feel incredibly ashamed and guilty


Assalamu Aleikum,

I'm a 24 year old male from South East Asia. For the past couple of years I have gone down a dark path, I lost my imaan and sense, and it lead to me losing my virginity to a prostitute. Soon after this I started feeling really guilty and disgusted with myself. I never thought that I would ever do something like this. Ever since this incident I have been really depressed and feel physically and emotionally tainted and dirty. I cry everyday regretting this mistake.

I can't talk about this with my parents and relatives because I am ashamed with my self and know that me telling this to them will break their hearts. I am also worried that I will never be able to marry since I have committed Zina and feel ashamed in telling this incident to anyone and that no one will want to marry me since I am not a virgin anymore.I also feel that I don't deserve to find a wife.I have been constantly asking forgiveness from Allah. I feel completely lost and don't know what to do.

I feel really bad and wish this had never happened. How can I ask for forgiveness? I want to come back to my religion and regain my imaan. Will God ever forgive me for what I have done? Please help me as I'm feeling depressed and completely lost.


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3 Responses »

  1. Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

    The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

    Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

    Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

    Allah says, [Didn’t they know that it is Allah who accepts repentance of His servants and forgives sins?] (At-Tawbah 9: 104). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah accepts the repentance of a person as long as death has not reached his collar bone (i.e., as long as it is not done in the last pangs of death)

    -Nothing else to comment on , these verses are enough

  2. Assalam alaikum Brother,

    Alhumdulillah that you have realized your grave error.

    Ask Allah swt for forgiveness again and again. Whenever it comes to your mind, ask Allah swt to forgive you--and although you feel guilty and don't like that feeling, it isn't a bad thing as it serves a purpose. The guilt reminds you of what you have done and hopefully, inn shaa Allah, will prevent you from doing this again.

    Do not share this sin with anyone. You should go see a doctor to make sure that you have not contracted any sexually transmitted diseases.

    In future, I do not suggest that you share this information with your spouse ever. Sins should not be disclosed. Instead, make a commitment to never repeat this sin. Also, perhaps you could spend of your time and money to help those in need--by helping those in need you will be able to refocus your attention on the suffering of other people--I don't know what the story of the prostitute was, but it is a very difficult life. I recently read about a woman who became (was forced to become, rather) a prostitute at the age of 14 and throughout her life was beaten. I don't suggest that you try to contact that woman again, but perhaps you want to think about financially helping those in need to do your part in preventing women in having to have such an occupation.

    Make good friends and make lot of dhikr, repent and ask Allah swt to have Mercy on you. Also, rethink how you allowed yourself to be so vulnerable to this point--avoid that situation again so that you are not tempted to repeat this.

  3. Malik, As-salamu alaykum,

    Read our article on tawbah in Islam:

    Tawbah in Islam

    And do not discuss your sin with anyone. It is between you and Allah. Your future spouse absolutely does not need to know about it.

    Wael Editor

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