Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t get along with non-Muslims!

Two men fighting

Why can't we get along?

Dear brothers and sisters, I have a big problem! During school, outside, and anywhere else, I don't get along with non-Muslims at all. Especially principals, teachers, students, staff, and normal kids on the street. Teachers always seem to be judging me. This is a big problem since I live in a non-Muslim country, and many times I have gotten in trouble with the police. It seems to be getting worse by the day, many of them want to fight me, but when I back out, they curse and swear at me. I am perfectly fine with my Muslim brothers, and sisters, its just that I have a problem with the non-Muslim ones. Please guide me to the right answer brothers. I face this problem each day, and I need urgent help, or else I'm getting into big trouble soon.

I also have another problem, I am constantly getting in trouble with the police, and school, i know its tied with the first question, but i need a way out of this predicament. These Americans always judge me by my race and ethnicity. I'm very hurt by this, and i need answers quick!

muslim of peace

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9 Responses »

    When Muslims of any nationality, ethnicity or colour.....
    Most High has warned: “You will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last ... and when the ignorant address them, they say, Peace (Salaam)!
    You can only warn those who fear their Lord....
    but when I back out, they curse and swear at me.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    It can be hard feeling discriminated against and judged. People tend to fear what they do not understand, and if you add to that the current political climate in some parts of the world, it's sadly not surprising that we can face prejudice.

    Getting aggressive and confrontational will only make things worse, though. Instead of reacting with hostility, try to show people that Islam truly is peaceful and tolerant - carry on with your activities, treat people with respect and kindness, and take opportunities to increase people's knowledge of Islam. Find another outlet for your frustration - sport, physical work, etc.

    If you find yourself becoming prejudiced against people for not following Islam, remember how The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his Companions lived among non-Muslims at times, and despite persecution continued to treat others with tolerance and kindness. All people are Allah's creations, whether they accept that or not, so we shouldn't treat people unkindly.

    As far as getting in trouble with the police and your school, remember that we should endeavour to follow the laws of the country we're in, so long as those laws do not go against Islam. So, treat your schoolteachers and other officials with respect and try to avoid breaking the rules they set. If you feel that your school has rules that restrict your right to practise your faith, you can raise this with the governing body and school principal, maybe with a petition and some ideas on how to improve the situation?

    Ultimately, we cannot control how others act, but we are accountable for our own behaviours. Strive to follow the example set by our Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), and ask Allah to help soften your heart towards others.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. You call yourself Muslim of peace and also say "I don’t get along with non-Muslims!."
    I hope some one does not use your hatred towards non-Muslims to use you and hurt you.
    Do you think Allah created Muslims and non-Muslims both or just Muslims.

  4. I just want to share this story in hope that you the OP or others may find as much of ALLAH's "touch" in your life. Life, and places in the west can be hard, but there are places too that Allah does goodness even among those who are not Muslim...the reason is because HE IS THE BEST!!!

    Story: Several years ago my daughter had a huge chemistry test ahead of her. She was very nervous about her exam. During her studies she became ill and missed the test day but had to make it up. On her make-up day, her teacher asked her to sit in a room in her school reserved for the Muslim students to give salat. While she sat there waiting for her test, Muslim students came into the room to pray. They NOT once asked my daughter to leave, but asked her if she would allow them to pray while she was there. She said "fine with me..go for it". Later she told me that "while they prayed in a language I don't understand (Arabic), I felt at peace when they left.". Though my daughter not once understood the prayer, when they left and she was given her test, she said she "felt so calm and my mind was open and I finally understood the questions". She got a perfect score on the test. When she turned her test she told her teacher he should align the his tests to muslim prayer times. Is she a revert? No. However, that experience has does affect her enough so that she will NOT put up with anti-muslim sentiments. Baby steps...


  5. assalamu alaikum

    you know..i think alot of times our experiences are shaped by our thoughts and insecurities.

    why DO YOU think you are being discriminated against? if you have no clear and evidenct experiences then you cant say specifically you are assuming.

    people may not get on with you well because you may not be social or extremely awkward with non may seem non personable or standoffish..body language speaks volumes

    i have met many muslims that are very judgmental of non muslims and are very standoffish and not polite or personable to people that do not think like them

    i always when younger felt as a muslim i would be left out or the world would be against me..but im a social person and i notice that no matter WHAT PEOPLE ARE.. jews, muslim, gay whatever..people on the most part if you are kind and personable they will treat you the same. sometimes people are just mean and they can be lik that to anyone.

    it could be becos i am black african, or because they are having a bad day or because of 100s of other reasons..

    lets not ASSUME anything. and lastly be yourself watch your body language and appear personable and you will be fine.

  6. Brother I think its time to stop pointing fingers and realize who is the real problem. It is not easy to move to a new country and all the thinks you have heard about this non-muslim countries have made you very defensive. The whole country cannot be against you so why not check yourself out. You stated you stated your problem in your tittle as yours and unconsciously accepting in your first sentence that you do not get along with people not that people do not accept you.

    You should focus on sharing with people about your belief and your actions being Dawa for them not the other way around. Hope you get better.

  7. I would like to know one thing. Have any of you thought about the fact that almost none of you can get along with anyone but other muslims, doesn't that tend to point the finger at you and not the rest of the world ? Do you really honestly think that you all are right and the obviously larger number calling itself the rest of the world is just racist ? Every non muslim country on the planet tells the same story. Muslims move there, then expect that country to completely change its way of life to not offend you. That is either very arrogant or completely insane behavior. In america, muslims move here and then complain that the schools serve pork, saying it offends them. We have been eating pork here sense the country was founded, yet we should change that for you all ?

    • Mike, do you actually know any Muslims? I'm an Arab-American Muslim, and I never met a Muslim who expected America to change for us, or to stop serving pork in schools. Muslims are assimilated well here. They are doctors, engineers, and business people. They tend to be even more productive and law-abiding than the average citizen. On a global level, I would say that Muslims don't have problems with anyone except nations that invade them or occupy them.

      Bigotry against Muslims is real, by the way, and you are an example. I have experienced it myself a couple of times, in one case when a woman turned me down for a job specifically because of my faith (she made it clear).

      Wael Editor

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