I don’t get proposals, because I have no Father
Marriage proposal
Assalamu alaikum.
I am a girl of about 16yrs. My dad is late and so i live wid my mum. She remarried after my dad's death but later sought for a divorce due to some reasons.
By Allah, I want to marry some one whoz very religious. But i know, no religious person will propose to me directly. The problem now is that once anybody is interested in me and wants to propose, what they do is that they ask our neighbours how they could meet our dad.
On hearing that my mum is a divorcee, they turn away not bordering to see my mum and ask her of our dad or his familys where about.
They believe that marriage contracts can't be discussed with women. Am confused, I dont know what to do. The only people I can explain everything to and later direct to my family are those who propose directly, which I know no religious person will do...
so please i need an advice on what to do
~ ummu khadeeja
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Salaams,
Personally, I think you and your mom should go talk to your neighbors, and ask them politely to let inquiring young suitors know, in a respectful way, that your father is unavailable because he has passed. I don't see why they have to tell these young gentlemen about your mother being divorced, since the man she divorced wasn't even your father to begin with.
There's no need to discuss marriage contracts before you've chosen someone to marry, and that takes getting to know the various suitors to decide. I don't see any reason that your mother could not help you screen the young men. As far as just getting to know the guys to see if they are compatible, you and your mother can do that well enough, before the duties of a wali are even needed.
When you get ready to be married, then you will need a wali to discuss the contract on your behalf. Do you have any uncles or grandfathers who would be willing to be your wali? In the absence of a father, it's best to have another male relative stand in, but the imam himself can serve in that function if no one else is willing or available to do so. Ultimately, the wali you choose is representing your interests, so you should choose someone you are close to or have some respect for.
Even though you might not get any direct proposals from a young man, it doesn't mean he can't express an interest in that direction to you. I'm sure it's possible for a young man to ask you, "I'd like to get to know you better, how should I get in touch with your parents (family) to set that up?", and then at that point you can direct him to your mother or other guardian if you've chosen one.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams
just because your dad isn't around that doesn't mean that is the issue or the real reason you cant get married, i believe allah writes things before we get to the path, its a test for all of us, so please do not give up hope. Talk to your neighbors as i agree with Amy's advise. If you find someone suitable involve your mum and allow yourself to get to know the person, i wish you the best
Asalaamualaikum
You are only 16, does your government allow girls to marry at 16?
If you want to marry a religious then be patient because a religious man would not run away after knowing about your mom and dad.
Islamically you can marry at 16, 15, even 13 if you are mature (pyshically and mentally) enough and have are happy with the marriage to go ahead.
16 is relatively young in this dasy and age, but it's still good to see young people wanting to get married and not go down a haraam path.
So many sisters are worried about not finding a spouse, it's better to be single than be in joyless miserable marriages.
So ask your mother to seek the help of your local Imam to find you a good spouse, someone from a family who will understand the trials and tribulations of this world and will not be bothered by your mother's marital status.
Insha'allah you will find your good honest husband and you will lead a happy and peaceful life together.
I know that a girl can marry when she reaches puberty. What I was telling the sister it is allowed for girls to marry at 16 in her country.
May the sister find a pious man soon...Ameen.
I believe that any religious person will accept your proposal. Send your proposal through your relatives etc., the interested person will accept it definitely...
Khuda hafiz
I agree your so young honey just take your time insallah you will find somebody who will ask for your hand and understand that your has passed away. Allah has somebody for everyone out there, and I would be there for my mother right now ontill I get alittle older and then think about marriage bacause marriage is not a day or two.
You're 16 and that's very young. I remember when I was 16 I didn't have any marriage proposals either, I don't think its because of your dad.
With love,
Your sister Aisha.
sallam
tell your neighbours to say your father has passed. speak to your local mosque if a ristah comes maybe they can talk to the guy?
Allah hafiz