I don’t know what to do next. Please help me!
Assalamoalaikum
There is this girl I’ve been in love with for like 3 years (not relationship). She is my cousin. We’ve been friends with each other ever since we were very young. And then gradually we became best-friends. We used to share everything with each other. She knows that I love her. When I first expressed my feelings to her, she rejected me because she already had a boyfriend. But after that she brought a change in herself and tried to get close to Islam. She left her boyfriend but still remained friends with me.
After this she got really close to me. She even said that she’ll try and fall in love with me only to marry me in the future and that she likes me and all that. She started doing hijab. She was the one who brought me close to Islam too. She urged me to start praying 5 times a day and Alhamdulillah I complied. She doesn’t talk to any other boy other than me.
But then a few days ago she said that she won’t be able to love me and would not like to marry me. This seriously broke my heart but I still kept my trust on Allah. For like one and a half year I’ve been continuously making dua to Allah to get her to love me and I still do make dua. Now she asked me to stop talking to her because it is wrong in Islam and I happily complied. Now, we don’t even talk to each other. I’m trying to do everything which Allah asks us to do.
I still very much love her and I only want to marry her. I know my parents will also agree to ask her parents for her hand. But I don’t know what to do now. Every day I wake up hoping that Allah will make things better for me. But when nothing happens, I get heartbroken but I never lose hope in Allah. I know Allah will make things better for me because I’m trying my best to walk on the path of Islam. I don’t talk any other girl either. Everyday I cry and pray to Allah to just get her to love me and agree to marry me. I sincerely love her and I only want to marry her, not be in a relationship with her, so my intentions are sincere.
I pray tahajjud, I pray nafil, I try to do everything possible just to make Allah happy so that He grants me what I want. I love that girl to bits and I feel like I won’t be able to live without her if I don’t get to marry her.
Please help me! I don’t know what to do. Tell me a dua or anything to make Allah give me what I want. Allah is my One and Only hope. Please tell me something to do. And it feels like she is good for me too because she was the one who brought me close to Islam. Please help me!
Thank You!
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As Salamu Alaikum Dear brother Farrukh,
I hope this meets you well, firstly believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel and its a very difficult place and time you are in. I am experiencing a very similar scenario but I believe all will be fine in the end Insha Allah.
Firstly let me commend you on your trust (Taqwa) in Allah, believe it or not it will see you through. Allah tests His servants continously and I would like you to see this from the perspective of it being a test.
Secondly, remember after hardship comes ease, yesterday she was with someone, not long ago she was with you, today who knows... Perhaps Allah is protecting you from what you know not.
it is possible you like something that is bad for you and dislike something that is good for you. You say you love her and it is true, who put that love there Allah, and the thing is Allah loves you my brother, the Mighty one loves you more than anyone can ever love you in this duniya. He would never suggest for you things that are not in your best interest.
I am not going to say forget about her, keep praying Allah knows better than you how you feel and He knows far beyond us what is best.
I am going to tell you what I have been doing to make things easy, there are no rational solution as to these kind of things but I believe everything happens for a reason.
Thirdly, if she is yours by Allah, she is yours no matter how far she goes, she will come back. If she's not, there's no amount of effort you put in that will bring her back. So try hard brother to keep an open mind and search for happiness from Rabbil Al Amin. Nothing beats that not even the thought of you and her being together as spouses. Allah is perfect we are mere humans. A future with Allah in your life means you will be victorious, that my brother is Allah's promise to those with Taqwa and Iman so you are already doing the right thing.
I will now give some duas and guides that will Insha lift your spirit.
Tahajjud and Nawafil is good masha Allah keep it up but then do
Salatul Istakhara it will surely set your matters straight here are some links hope they help
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txfradp61TY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PPp-cRDQLU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-Vq5iRaBbQ
Dua to remove stress anxiety and sorrow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBXk7nyuuBI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJHPam-pjaI
Dua to remove worries depression debt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVKruzB6N6Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DcXUb1_bZk
Dua to reconcile between conflicting hearts
http://www.iqrasense.com/muslim-character/a-tip-dua-to-reconcile-between-peoples-conflicting-hearts.html
http://www.alhudapk.com/duas.html?name=DUA-030241-AH-Masnoon-Allahumma%20Allif%20Baina%20Qulubina.php
Now brother Farrukh pray for her, wish for her good, wish for her jannah, a pious spouse, hazard free children and so on. The dua of a believer for another believer is readily answered. When you make dua use Ya Hayyul Ya Qayyum when you start your dua with these words Insha Allah they will be answered also always recite Hasbiyy Allahu alaihi tawakaltu wa huwa rabbul arshil Azim 7 times with your dua
I will leave some other links to lift your spirit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLZYAqUZ_xc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpXfIMUuckY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd7g7d_xSyg
How to get your dua answered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EmyHbapjnQ
Love her for Allah's sake
https://plus.google.com/+TheDailyReminderOrg/posts/ZzKbny3g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-3dLvLYUsQ
There are so much more my brother dont give up hope and don't despair because in the end you will succeed. She may be the ONE or the one that led you to the real ONE lol. Have do what you love, do what your heart is inclined to, make sure its Halal, Allah knows already. Don't forget to let your inner noor radiate because its Saddaqah as well.
I love you for Allah's sake when you feel like crying, do nawafil cry to Allah. He surely he is sufficient for you and he governs all your affairs. oh less I forget. Suratul Fatiha its the cure to all diseases. Excessive love can be a disease so its best you put that in check.
Anyway Jazak Allahu Khayran
You will be fine. You will SUCCEED 🙂
Thank you so so soooo much for this reply. You really lifted my spirits up. I'm so thankful to you.
Even reading your brings tears to my eyes, I promise. That's how much I want Allah to give her to me. Trust me I'm strong enough to never lose hope in Allah and I never will. Thank you! 🙂
You are welcome, I don't want you to feel discouraged because as you know everything in this dunya is a test accept it be dutiful to Allah and I promise you, you will smile at the end of the day. Remember "Don't look at the darkness when the sun goes down, observe the brightness when the sun rise" If you get to win her back Alhamdulillah, I would wish you all the best. If not Insha Allah our Rabb will give you someone much much better Insha Allah. I leave you with this reminder http://www.virtualmosque.com/islam-studies/aqeedah/dealing-with-loss/ feel free to talk anytime.
Yakub
Is she came back again in your life?
Salam brother,
I have one question. Why are you still after her if she told you she doesn't love you and can't marry you? Why are you fixated on someone one-sidedly when she clearly told you she doesn't want you?
Believe me, there is someone out there for you. Pray to Allah to give you a good Muslim girl who will be the future mother of your children instead of praying to Allah to make this particular girl love you. It doesn't work like that. You can't change someone's feeling.
Stop chasing someone who doesn't want you. Please have self-respect and just pray to Allah to give you a good wife soon. You will be happy someday with whom Allah chosen for you. InshaAllah. Please trust in Allah.
Thank you for your reply.
I'm not after her. I mean I don't even talk to her or run after her. I just love her. I just pray to Allah to give her to me. And I think it is a right of every muslim to ask Allah to give us what we want.
There may be someone out there but I'm in love with this girl, not someone else. I know I can't change someone's feelings but Allah can and that's what I ask Allah to do.
Did she come again in your life farrukh
subhanaALLAH
oxo very nice and inspiring answer mashaAllah and barakaAllah fiik for d good words .
may Allah make it easy for u faruk
Thank you, for the kind words may Allah have mercy on us all, protect us from the fire and reward us with Jannatul Firdaus. Barkallahu fi kum 🙂