Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t think this marriage is valid

Broken marriage, infidelity, cheating, adultery

Salam. My husband finally confessed to me that he hid a marriage from me for 8 years. His marriage was only known by her family with her fathers approval on an unofficial contract. He paid her dowery. None of his family or friends knew of his marriage. I discovered marriage from friends who worked with her and when I spied on his tweeter account I found sex pictures of the two of them, which brought him to confession. They both told me their agreement was nobody was to know of their marriage and they are not to have children. Of course after all this time she wants kids, thus she started telling everyone.

Now this brings me to question the legitimacy in Islam of their marriage and also makes me question the legitimacy of my own marriage. You see, although we had a combined civil and Iman marry us, I now understand that certain criteria was not met. For example, my male guardians did not agree to marriage, my mother agreed and I signed  contract. When Iman asked for dowery my mother responded and my husband refused amount - he convinced us it's not important just a gesture and a piece of jewellery is sufficient. I said he must also provide me a house and he again convinced us it was our agreement and no need for it in contract. Now I am in a bad situation after 15 years of marriage because I was a new convert to Islam and I trusted my husband too much and now I see how I foolishly gave up all my Islamic rights to him due to  ignorance, cultural values and misguide.


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3 Responses »

  1. why my comment will don't send?

  2. Did your husband use you to get citizenship?

  3. do you have children?

    I would go talk to a mufti or sheikh and ask him.

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