I don’t want a friend who negatively influences me
Salam,
I had a friend and he needed help with money. But I didn't help him. I asked myself "why?" and realized that I was holding a grudge against him for his bad habits. We fought and we argued a lot.
I told him that I am leaving you because of lack of interest, I am tired of this friendship, and because of fear....fear of getting hurt by his habits, fear of holding a grudge against him, fear of being in a fight with him again.
Is it haram to leave him because of this reason, and can you tell why is it haram? I don't want to hangout, meet, or talk with him anymore because my heart doesn't want it, nor does he want my company anymore. Is it haram if I am not hanging out with him anymore? And if it is, please tell my why.
Thank you jazakallah.
Farhankh
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Asalamualaikum,
Leaving something for the sake of Allaj will only bring you goodness and the pleasure of Allah.
We often harbour this religious guilt when we take a stance against people's toxicity as sometimes we fear doing them wrong or injustice. However, I think we must remember that it this bond is exposing us to haram then giving this bond distance may perseve our own Islamic practice and faith. We have a duty towards people but not at the expense of self sabotage.
I hope the above helps.
Asalamualaykum,
You write:
"I don't want to hangout, meet, or talk with him anymore because my heart doesn't want it, nor does he want my company anymore."
If neither of you want to be friends, then whether it is haram or halal is kind of irrelevant at this point. You are not required to keep up a relationship that is hurting you. But it's also not respectful to "ghost" someone as the young people say nowadays, so I would first try to talk to him to see if you can come to some kind of understanding. If it doesn't work, then explain to him that you care for the both of you and feel that ending the friendship is the best way to do this.
Best,
Nor
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