Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t want them to do istikhara

English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah


I received some  proposals, but even though, every thing looked perfect, my intuition told me otherwise.And I couldn't go forward. My doubts were always justified. And once when I did istikhara, it wasnt positive.

Now this time ,Me and this guys' values are different. Our financial status, upbringing, every thing is different. My family is not allowing me to do istikhara, and are doing it themselves. I don't want this istikhara to proceed. But the pressure is too much.If results of istikhara are positive, I will have to say yes, even though I dont want to.

In my experience, all the doubts that I have expressed, usually come true.

What do I do?Keeping in my mind, I cant say No.


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4 Responses »

  1. Asalam Alekum sister
    The only thing I can advice you is
    You will have to do the istikhara yourself,
    it's your life no one else's.
    You choose your life the way you want it not your parent choosing for you

    Sorry if I've been of no help.
    Wa Salam

  2. salam you have tell them how you feel this is not islamically correct. you have rights this is marriage tell them write them i dont want to get married.

  3. Aoa sister!
    I think you need to explain to your family that the results of istikhara are not dependent on who does it rather the purpose of the whole exercise is to guide us towards the most beneficial path.
    Give them example of your previous proposals where your heart was not into it and time proved that your instincts were right and tell them that you are not into it this time.
    As far as my knowledge goes, istikhara should be done by yourself with regards to your issues rather than others.

  4. Asalam Alaikum.

    In my opinion, quite possibly, the following areas need to be dwelled upon:

    1) The process of performing istikhara itself. I suppose you should read the article on how to perform it correctly first on this website.

    2) There is a trend here of always favouring the questioner and taking the parents to be fools. Yes, there have been instances where they have been wrong, but what of the many (possibly more often than not) instances that they have been right?

    It may well be that the questioner's istikhara is skewed toward her own opinion on the matter instead of being completely left to Allah.

    In conclusion, after going through the above points, the questioner could have an open dialogue with her parents on what she is so perturbed about and listen to her parents' side with an open mind, free of personal bias.

    Allah knows best.


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