Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don´t want to hurt the boy or my parents!

No castes in Islam

There is no caste in Islam

Assalamualaikum my name is Sadaf . I am in a relationship with a muslim boy from 4 years and i love him soo much and he also loves me a lot. He is very good person ,he cares for me a lot and always takes care of even the smallest things, he never hurts me. He has faced many hardships in his life and struggling now for his career.

He wants to marry me and i also want the same but the problem is that he belongs to a different caste , and also he is from a struggling family. And on the other side i belong to a royal family , i feel that my father will never accept him because he is from another caste and he is not good financially . I am not having any problem from his financial status or caste but i feel like my father won't accept him , and i don't want to hurt my father by telling him that i love will cause a chaos in my home.

Now i am having two ways either i should try and tell my father about him once when the boy will send rishta to my home for me , if he accepts then its good but if not then he'll get hurt and i don't want to hurt my father  , i will never force my father to ,get me married with that boy. And its almost very difficult for my father to accept him because every father wants that his daughter should live like a princess in that home in which she is going.

The other way is that i should leave that boy for the sake of my parents so that my parents won't get hurt but now the boy will get hurt soo much and also i love him i cannot see him in tears . His life will be effected badly if i will leave him .also ,even i cannot bear to lose him. its not possible for me to leave him or to hurt him like that. I Don't want to be a reason for darkness in his life i want him happy. please tell me what should i do , i don't want to hurt anyone please suggest me a way out of this situation . Should i leave the boy or i should try telling my father once ?


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6 Responses »

  1. are you in saudi? If so I have advice for you!

  2. Dear sister in Islam,
    Your first step was wrong. That was meeting the boy and the relationship for 4 years. Second you have earned anger of Allah Kareem since 4 years. Third Allah Kareem can forgive you for that. He is the almighty. Fourth ask his parents to approach your parents for Rishta. Fifth you do istekhara then. Sixth if istekhara does not come good leave the rishta and him. Seventh forget him then if the istekhara will come negative because it is better to have Allah Kareem than his tears.
    End quote
    Allah knows the best.

  3. Just break up with him so he can find himself a girl who isn't materialistic and doesn't care about this caste nonsense. Someone from lower caste can easily become higher caste if God grants them and vice versa. Stop being mentally challenged and approach it the right way. Check if the brother is financially capable, if he has any bad traits etc. Don't discriminate based on finance as that could change any day. And if you know your father will reject then inform the boy. So he can marry a perfect Muslim girl.

    • Brother Ahmed,

      It is not the girl who is placing importance on the boy's caste, but rather, her father. Also, please refrain from using terms like "mentally challenged." Even those who actually are "mentally challenged" do not have it easy. Inshallah there will be more barakah in your advice.


  4. You can tell your parent and see what they will say they can’t force you in to marriage u dint want, in Islam. Tell your parent first

  5. There is no caste system in Islam .Its wrong to talk about caste .
    But there can be social problems if there is big gap in financial status between both of your families .

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