Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I Don’t Want to Live

good thoughts

I'm  becoming weak, my faith in God is decreasing every day.  I love God, but why does he make us live this life? What is so great about this lifee?!!! Everytime something good comes in life, something happens to mess everything up! I just want to scream!  I want to cry all the timee.  Everything good comes to an enddd, nothing is forever.  If we're going to die eventually why can't we die now!  Everyone is so sad with their lives!

I go to school and everyone is upset about something, I come home and my parents are upset and my siblings, I go on facebook and people are upset, I come on here and people are upset.  Everythinggg around me is so depressing!  I have no hope anymoreee... I have been like this for a while already, maybe about 5 months.  It is less sometimes, this depression I mean, but when it comes back it comes in an overwhelming force!  I can be okay for maybe a week or two, but I'm still so sad during this time!  Everything stresses me.

I used to not be this way.  I used to be so happy, I used to be quiet, and content, happy, or laughing, I used to be proud of myself, helpful to sad people, i used to feel pretty, i used to feel good about myself and noww... I don't know.  I feel empty.  I don't feel proud of myself, I kind of hate myself, I don't feel pretty anymore, I don't feel smart, I don't have any motivation except guilt, I don't laugh.  Sometimes I just want to get high the way I used to in order to feel so happy and fun the way I used to.  I feel like I live without a purpose.  Everything I want feels far away.  I don't feel good about my school, I don't even want to be in school anymore.  I don't like the people, they all seem so superficial.  i don't want to come home, that is just stress that I don't want, and I don't want to come online or do my homework because then I know i'm doing it so that I won't feel so alone.

I don't know what to do with these feelings.  I don't know how to make myself feel better anymoree.  I tried to read the Qur'an and the Hadiths, and I read this site so much too.  But when I read the site, it made me sad, when I read the Qur'an I would cry because it was so beautiful and I don't feel worthy of it.  I tell my mother I feel sad, she makes me feel better for a while, but then nothing changes to help me.  I don't want to live like this.  I want to be happy, I want to be proud, I want to have a purpose, but I feel nothing.  I feel empty, I feel superficial and then I hate myself for being superficial.  I feel like I'm self-centered sometimes then I hate myself for being that way too.  I feel like I can't do anything right, I try hard on tests and I can't get 100%, I try to do things around the home like cleaning but then I get in trouble for it not being perfect.  I even feel ashamed for talking about this with complete strangers, maybe no one will care, maybe they'll think I have no reason to feel this way, or maybe they think I deserve it.  Maybe i do deserve it, but I don't want to accept that

I just want to know how to make myself feel better permanently, without being labeled as needy.  I just want these feelings to go away and leave me aloneee and stop stressing me and stop driving me crazy!! I want these feelings to all end, and that's why I feel like I don't want to live... so please help me... I want to be happyyy, is that such a difficult thing to ask for?!

~Aliyeee

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34 Responses »

  1. What's so great about this life? Everything is going to come to an end? Well yes that is true but we have to work towards the hearafter coz only that life is forever, and stop complaining about your life I don't see nothing wrong with it its just your attitude towards life, when everyones time will come their sould will leave their body, read namaz be in the deen because only that will make you happy. Never lose your trust in Allah the almighty, look at everything Allah has done for you, you have a family, food a roof over your head and yet your complaining over nothing, where people over the world suffering from poverty are probablly not even complaining and realising this life is a test and they will get everything in Jannah. Maybe if you stop complaining to Allah and appreciate the things you have and read namaz and Quran then maybe u will feel happy. Remember this life is a test and the reward is the hearafter.

    • Sould- soul* sorry typo

    • You don't see anything wrong with my life because I didn't say it- I don't want to be too specific for anonymity. But it's not just one single thing making me sad. It's a plethora of things. It's things from all angles. But anyway I should adjust my attitude just because there is no point in being sad, being sad doesn't change anything. And thank you for opening my eyes to the things I so quickly took for granted. May Allah bless you.

      • Hi, I feel the same like you. Almost whatever you wrote in the question feels like my own feelings .My imaan is also becoming weak. And I hate myself. I feel I am not wanted by anyone and I am being a burden to everyone.
        I just wanted to know how is your life now? What steps did you take to change yourself?

    • what don't you understand My life is same case of her....

  2. Dear Aliyeee,
    You do have a purpose in this life, that's why Allah gave you life. Sometimes it may feel like nothing makes sense, everything around us sounds and looks depressing, sickness, death, murders, wars etc. I felt once like you, I would get depressed and cry over everything unjust. Alhamdouillah that was long ago and it passed.
    You are blessed, you have parents, siblings, can go to school, have all the resources that many never did and never will, and you have all of us, readers who care about you and love you for the sake of Allah.

    You do not need to make 100% on tests all the time, do not pressure yourself, pass the class, you will not "wear your grade on your forehead" (that's what I say to myself all the time, I know it feels great, but it's more important to be a good person and be the best in what you do in your profession).

    I know school sometimes may be annoying....I am an adult and taking classes and believe me, I know it can be overwhelming. You will feel like quitting many times, and it's totally normal to feel that way, but it will be worth it in the end.
    Believe me, Allah would not give us anything that we are not able to handle. All of this will just make it stronger. Alhamdouillah.

    InshaAllah you can be very open with your parents and they can get you help you need (Imam, doctor).
    Please, if you would like to talk to a "stranger", contact me.

    Allah Hafidh

    • Yes indeed, I become very sad and angry whenever I think of the injustice of this world and the racism and the hatred. Thank you for giving me encouraging words, I do pressure myself a lot because I feel like people are depending on me too much. But thank you 🙂

  3. I can't stop crying after reading your message.

    Every SINGLE word you says describes my feelings exactly.

    I feel so worthless, and I became so close to Allah..and now..I feel like I'm so pathetic, and I keep drawing further and further away from Him.
    I hate school, and I used to feel so pretty too, and my family has always stressed me out. I just want to be left alone.

    I tried educating mysel on Islam, and it was all so beautiful..But I don't feel like I even deserve to get any of the things I have.

    I'm a loser.

    I hate myself for even living.

    I've thought of suiside so many times, the only reason I haven't done it yet is because of relgious reasons...

    I feel so bad about the way I am, you and I are EXACTLY the same. I made a dua just last night about bring me closer to Allah, and making my life a little easier with all these terrible feelings, and just right now..I found you. You described EVERYTHING I have been feeling..WORD FOR WORD.

    Even though we feel like we're losing hope...It's only a test from Allah. Are we going to give up on Him? Or still go on.

    Just reading your message gave me more strength, and I feel like Allah has opened the doors to a good friend out there who feels just like me.

    I'm never going to forget you, Sister.

    I'm going to start praying for you every time I think of you, <3

    When you are alone, remember that Allah has sent everyone away..So that it is only you..and Him. :')

    <3 I love you sister, please...Email me at ****

    Who knows? Allah might have opened the doors to each other.

    • I removed your email address. We very rarely allow contact between members here. Only when we know for a fact that both are the same gender, and we agree that personal contact would benefit both.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salaam
      I'm not the only one feeling like this then it feels great !
      i'ts like Allah has opened the doors.. Dear sisters when we are grow up are emotions are everyehere i'ts a very hard thing to go through I'm going through it now .. But I'ts natrual every girl goes through
      it. This has been very depressing.. But like one of the sisters above sed think abt the roof ova ur head food' a great family etc. Some people ar'nt as fortunate as we are. So just think of Allah never loose faith and remember He's always there.. Do'nt worry Dear sister we are all in this together..
      I totally agree wiv you Hooria word to word i felt what she felt..
      Every human is having Trials and tests.. This life is our test the next is our reward ..
      I'd recomend you talk to your teachers cuz its helped me alot this week the teeacher im close to all said that the door is always open if i need to talk to them
      I hope my advice helped We're in it together
      Remember Allah keep praying and do'nt suffer alone The'res loads of people you can talk too.

    • I'm so sorry I didn't intend for anyone to cry! I actually didn't know this was going to be posted so fast and a few days after I wrote it I came back to delete it but it was already posted and replied to. I'm sorry that I tossed oil to your fire, of course this (these) is (are) a test from Allah. Like the Sister Mira said, Allah tests the ones he loves. And because of this, as the Sister Love said, it will make us stronger. If this is a punishment from Allah then we should be happy because at least he is punishing us here on earth instead of in hell where the punishment is soooooooooo much greater.
      I can tell though that you're already getting better, you and I still have hope and we're trying to be closer to Allah when we feel so down. Do not give up on Allah sister, and I'm sure you won't 🙂
      Btw, I really loved what you said "When you are alone, remember that Allah has sent everyone away..So that it is only you..and Him. :') " I've never heard that before 🙂 and I've thought about it repeatedly every time I'm alone.

      Brother Wael, if you don't think us contacting each other would be beneficial then it's completely up to you. It's not a problem with me.

      And thank you Hx 🙂 I think maybe you're right, I think many girls go through this at this age. We are very fortunate and we should never forget that and we should never take it for granted. And I did once have a teacher to talk to but she moved away 🙁 Thank you anywya

      • Aliyeee
        You seem like a luvli person im glad my advice helped.... I guess everyday is a school day i've been feelin down too much latley and weneva i think that u and i and many orther sisters are going thru the same i feel stronger
        So May Allah Bless You
        But thin abt ppl who are worse of thn us dying ova food , water shelter no education ... etc
        and the first thing we shud thank Allah for is putting us on this world as humans .. Masa Allah its good to know that ppl my age are taking intrest in Islam May Allah reward you
        Depression is a very hard thing to cope wiv but i wud strongly suggest that u do not take any medication it may cause dis comfort..
        We're in this together Aliyeee xx
        I'm here if u need me Just remeber Allah
        I'll keep u in my dua's
        Hx

  4. Salaam sister..

    I think right now you must be exhausted from all of Allah's tests, and just want some one to come and
    kiss it goodbye. Well we can't do that sadly, for Allah said "Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?" So this is it, sister, the reason why Allah is testing you, and testing the people around you. Everything is not in vain, nothing is created for free in this world. "Who live surely they will taste death" We all are creates for one reason only, to worship Allah, and be tested by him. So that He will know who has the real Imaan among the rests.

    Every one has problems, every one has tests, but it depends on how we handle it. A person can get depress and have suicidal thoughts when befall tests from Allah, but another person could be reading the Quran to understand exactly why is he being tested.Tests are signs that Allah loves do you know that? It is an opportunity for us to delete our previous sins, and receive blessings from Him. The choice is yours, as stated "So indeed, you will not make the dead hear, nor will you make the deaf hear the call when they turn their backs, retreating. And you cannot guide the blind away from their error. You will only make hear those who believe in Our verses so they are Muslims [in submission to Allah ]."

    Quran verses are beautiful isn't it? I love it as well, don't ever think you are not worth it, because Allah created us from dirt, and he gave us a beautiful life and purpose, and thus we are worth it. Just hang in there, repent to Him, be strong, be courageous, smile even though it seems like it's the last thing you feel like doing, and just syukr (be thankful) to Him. It took me two years to realise why He gave me this particular test. Two years of sufferings, but now I finally realise, and I'm thankful to Him. He's so Smart, and all those time I thought I was alone, now I realise He was with me All the time. You should realise it too.. "Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth, so let not the worldly life delude you and be not deceived about Allah by the Deceiver"

    Allah knows best

    • You got me right when you said "you must be exhausted from Allah's test". I really am. But you gave me a lot of hope and joy when you said that Allah tests those he loves and that it's an opportunity to remove past sins. Your words have actually helped me a lot, they made me happier and they gave me a different perspective. Bless you Sister <3
      I actually read your reply almost a week ago but never really had the chance to reply, but I have read it many times already whenever I'm feeling low. So thank you Sister, bless you bless you ..

  5. If you are still a young girl, then maybe you have a hormone imbalance. Try counseling and psychiatry. You may have to be put on an anti-depressant. Limit your wheat intake since a large amount of people have a wheat allergy and it slows the production serotonin (happy hormone). Increase your exercise which will help produce serotonin, and find other things that will keep you away from all the negativity.

    • 🙂 It made me smile when you told me to limit my wheat intake. I didn't know wheat inhibits the release of serotonin and I do eat a lot of bread because it's so good 🙂 But thank you

      • banana has a high level of seratonin 🙂

        • Actually I wasn't sure if serotonin was the neurotransmitter that Sister Ameena meant... because I know the neurotransmitter Dopamine is the "happy horomone" (it manages pleasure). So last night I looked through my Psychology notes...
          Serotonin is actually a neurotransmitter that controls hunger, aggressive behavior, sexual desire, sleep, wakefulness and some other social functions. But it does affect depression; because if not enough serotonin reaches the receptor cells then depression can occur as well as excess anger, OCD, anxiety, etc etc.
          Haha bananas are thought to be an aphrodisiac so I don't doubt it has high levels of serotonin.

  6. Sister, I suggest a psychiatrist and some depression medication. Sure there will be those people who I insist it's not best, but your Problems are caused by modern, tangible, relentless circumstances and you need assistance to match. Life does suck, the economy is terrible in most countries on earth, violence, homosexuality, polytheism and atheism and discontent for Islam worldwide, war, draughts, floods, earthquakes, child abuse, corruption, infidelity are our reality while public western media dangle unobtainable lives in front of us that we can only have if we become the things we hate. YES..... It sucks. But, this is a storm and we're all going thru it together. Get some help for yourself... Anyone observant and compassionate enough to weep and distress over the state of the world as you deserves some peace. Some of Allah's prophets cried over horrible and hopeless things they saw, you're not alone. You're also not a prophet so give yourself some credit for taking this attack on your peace so well, and get on some meds. Then you can pray without shaytan dragging you down and stealing your sunshine. I'm a realist... Sometimes it takes more than turning the other cheek and reading Quran. If you're going to starve to death, Allah permits you to eat a pig. If you want to die, I suggest you get on some prescription drugs ASAP.

    • Thank you sister Stacy, you do see that I do hurt because of the world around me. Child abuse and molestation and starvation and racism and ignorance and arrogance and violence and hatred and infidelity just drives me ssooo.. angry and depressed. I cannot stand it. I always think of some way I can help this in my future career but sometimes I do not see myself good enough to do that. I still want to try. This next thing might not make sense, but it's not that I want to die ... it's that I dont want to live. Sometimes i wish Allah didn't give us free will and I wish we would just abide in heaven forever. There would be no worries... But it isn't so.
      I don't know about the medication, I'm sure I can get through this without medication- it's a little out of my comfort zone :/

  7. I've felt like this so many times when I'm going tru hard times
    When friends betray you, family don't understand, nothing goin right regards to career, I've looked at myself in the mirror and just seen flaws in myself: crying at nothing and feeling empty! Instead when ive gone tru these downpours feeling like what is the point? They say there is light at the end of the tunnel I just thought yeahhhhh whatever....but its true what all the sisters have mentioned! Depending on individual circumstances can make u feel low but it's all about how u cope and which way you turn
    I wrote my story lets say on this I was going tru a break up might be minor or major to some people but at the time I felt exactly how you were feeling what is the point? I thought cried tried to find answers but the only comfort I've gained these last few weeks is knowing wen im in pain Allah feels it what do I do to solve it to takeut away? If Allah feels my pain and I'm not healing myself then surly I'm hurting Allah the creator in not doing justice to what has been given to me life! Temporary I know but the life we have we make it as beautiful as possible by following the teachings of Islam forget the world for a second and think about u and Allah which u are now mashallah! I can understand how u must of felt when u wrote the original pOst lost and confused keep faith in Allah always never loose hope and never rely on any human form in this world any emotional needs or desires will be fulfilled with the remeberence with Allah only! Stay happy, do things that make u happy! When u look in the mirror don't look at the flaws which I myself always do instead think of the good things people tell you about u! Don't look at urself in ur own eyes we humans will never be satisfied and believe in urself
    If people in ur life are depressed don't be down with them think of solutions
    Trust me Wev all been there it won't rain forever :-))) stay happy always

  8. Salaam again. Its been quite some time since you posted and I hope you feel so much better now. Even better, I hope you can look back at this and smile now, and you realise youve changed on the inside 🙂

    Im not sure what youre going through now. Is everything much better now? Are you smiling now? Enshallah

    Im a bit concern with some people's idea on your post about taking antidepressant, im a medical student,so allow me to inform you that these medicines hav unbareable sides effects (based on my knowledge and experience) thus is highly not recommended. 😉 I think if you have love and Him, you wil feel content with yoursef. 'verily only in Allah your heart find peace'

    I hope you give us some updates. Seem a lot of us here care for u. Isnt it beautiful, strangers caring for one another for the sake of Allah 😛

    Allah truly knows best!

    • Salam sister Mira... I feel like you actually care and you're making me happy for that..
      Thank you for checking up on me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was okay for a while, I wasn;t super happy but I wasn't sad either. When you said "is everything much better? are you smiling now?" I wanted to cry, I've been crying all day and I'm alone doing so because I'm in school and I'm not one to cry in front of people. I blame myself for what's going wrong. I havent been following Islam the way I should so I'm paying for it right now.
      To be honest, I haven't been reading the Quran lately, and I havent been praying.. I havent been doing anything. I have just been getting by. I come to school, I go to work, I check facebook... I don't know.
      I'm having troubles with friends, I have never had problems with friends before so I don't know how to handle it. I have repeated mistakes and I guess I have repeated them because I don't truly see the wrong in them (I'm talking about smoking weed). I stopped now though just because there is no benefit in it. But I don't know if I'll truly stop or if i'll return to it later again when I'm too stressed and when I want to avoid life. I have to go to class now so I can't write more right now... I'll repy when I can.

  9. Salam sister..

    I'm really glad that you replied, but I'm really sorry to make you wanted to cry. Truly, that is not my intention and I think you know that. The thing is, it may sound funny, but I think it's ok to cry once in a while.. Sometimes we just need some quiet me alone time, and just let it all out, without having to bottle anything in our heart and mind. So go head, once a month, or a year, just sit in the corner and cry, you will feel better after that enshallah.. But sister, if you cry all day, the crying won't be the source of your relief, but it will be the source of your distress, and well, no one wants that to happen on themselves or other people.. Sometimes, we cry because we'r hurt, by the people we love, by the people who we think love it, and merely by the things that are happening in our lives. We need to ask ourself.. is it worth it crying for these superficial things? Crying till our eyes red, puffy and swollen, and with no result. Nothing changes if we cry without doing anything.. If you want something to change, you need to take a step forward.

    I understand what you meant by you sat alone and cried. Honestly, I passed that stage, and is too numb to cry about worldly stuff any more. This life is Not permanent.. If you read Quran (which sister, you must!) you will know that after we die, and being resurrected, we will tell Allah that we only live in this world for a blink of an eye.. and we wish to return. It's scary isn't it? I suggest sister, that you start to pray again, because enshallah it will give you inner peace. Honestly when I was younger I thought praying is merely an obligation, but now Im starting to realise the effects it made, and Masyallah it made a lot of difference. My life can be pretty hard too, with all Allah's tests, sometimes I want to give up as well, but alhamdulillah, Allah made me through.. You need to have a support system, sister. Let it be your family, your friends, or merely a stranger.. Every body needs somebody.. and of course you need Allah as well..

    About this weed thing, well it's wrong in so many things.. 1st of all, I don't think it's allowed in Islam.. It's haraam isn't it.. so that's it. Full stop. Case closed. No question asked.. But if you want the long medical answer, I'm sure it's bad for your health too.. We learnt about smoking, and I'm sure they are about the same.. Addictive and destroy health-related organs. Sister, they'r not your friends if they'r bringing you towards destruction. Remember that.. We need to be wise to choose our circle of friends, so choose wisely. Im sure you can find good friends to guide you through...

    Well, lastly I urge you to start praying, and get to know Islam more.. There are Tons of Islamic fb group that gives out Islamic updates/quotes daily 🙂 You can try search or ask me if you want any help..

    Don't worry. there will always be rainbow after the rain, but I can't say when the rain will stop. For me, it rained two years.. and now the rainbow is just starting to appear enshallah 🙂 But there will be rainbow. Allah will not give a test to His slaves more than he could bear.. I just watched a video on a Syrian guy being buried alive by the Basha regimens.. ya Rab (it was disheartening, but he's a Martyr, and I would Love to be one!).. do you think you can handle it? being the guy? I dont think I can.. so I'm thankful for the tests that I have, the things that I have, and don't have, and you should be the same..

    Allah Truly knows best 🙂

    • Thank you Sister Miraaaaa!! Truly, you have been the one that has always made me feel better! .. You are such a wonderful person may you live a long life inshallah.. !!
      I read this the day after you posted it, I couldn't reply though. But I have thought about you many times, and you gave me the motivation to do the right things. I haven't smoked since the day I last posed that reply, and I have prayed more. In February and March I felt I was very close to Allah... I slipped away for a while 🙁 But now I am determined to go back. I am determined to live a good life because we only live once! And like you said, we only live in this world for a blink of an eye, and we will admit to Allah everything we have done.
      But wow, thank you Sister mira for everything and all of your kind words. I do follow a facebook group called "ILoveAllaah.com" ... they always post beautifullll things 😀

  10. Salaam Aliyeee
    I hope ur ok xx
    This stressful feeling and cant stop crying thing is gnna take time to go... I've been feeling exactly the same latley.. I just cant stop crying.. But Allah swt Know best.. and Sister Mira is right theres allways some good wen theres some bad trust me i truly beleive in that saying so dont loose hope or faith...
    I strongly suggest you start praying it will benifit you and make you feel better... Insha Allah..
    Now about the weed thing you said ur at skwl right ? If you dont mind me asking What's ur age ?
    Stay away from it its gonna stress you out big time.. It'll make your life worse. It's Haraam in Islam and is wrong in so many ways i can understand why you take cuz your deperate and you just wnna calm yourself down.. I promise things will get better Insha Allah remeber we're in this together im with you on this
    Dont worry takecare of yourself and remeber Allah
    I look 4ward 2 ur reply
    Hx

    • Salam Hxx, Yes I am doing miraculously better thank you for asking 🙂
      And you were right, I guess the weed did stress me out but only because I felt so guilty for doing it. Ever since I stopped I guess I felt so much better... I was crabby for a while, but I am happy now. Things are better in my life, my family is happy, my friends are happy, and therefore I am happy.
      Now are you okay?? I would like everyone to feel better now. I guess if we just stay away from stressors, and pay attention to the good and happy things, Allah will make us better. Allah himself doesn;t like to see us suffer. Reading the Quran is like food to the hungry, so we should all read the Quran as much as we can so we can never feel distraught...
      May Allah Bless you Hxx

      • Salaam Aliyeee
        I missed u lol
        Glad ur ok and Yhh Wen u Remember Allah He'll Remeber you...
        Alhamdulilah making slow progress been thru tuff days but when we recite Quran we feel better so Alhamdulilah.......... xx

        There's so many things that happen in life ur emotions are everywhere... One minute you think Lifes great and the next u suffer heartache ......
        I think Praying is the soloution to everything theres always times wen u feel like u cant be bothered but the say that puts me on the right path is " Go to the Masjid before 4 strong people carry you there!"

        So thanks Aliyeee xx ur a very kind hearted person and what does'nt kill you makes you stronger so dont give up x
        May Allah swt Give you a place in Jannah

  11. Salam sister.. I'm glad you are feeling much much better.. I on the other hand had just been confronted with life. I believe in there's solution in every problem, but some problems just takes time to solve. With a pained smiled I read your comments, and you are always cheerful and thankful with your words. I'm glad Allah shed some light onto you. I hope you will pray for me, even if it's just one, because I am the stage in life where I can't see the way out of the maze. It's there of course, but I can't find it yet. Well anyway, I wish you all the best, every day is a brand new day. Here's a quote I heard recently that made me tremble with fear "If your legs aren't strong enough to carry you to prayers, why do you think it's strong enough to carry you to Jannah?" and here's another one "When Syaitaan reminds you of the past, you have to remind him of his future" These words have a Huge effects on me, but we'r humans, sometimes we forgot, and we made mistakes. And we repent, and we forgot again.

    Thank you for letting me help you. Now even if His tests are seemingly-unbearable, I can still smile, even if it's the tiniest smile, because I made you smile. (I hope I did!)

    Take care sister, and please pray for me,

    Allah truly knows best and I know nothing

  12. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJndzTc6G-0

    specially for all of you.. It touched me deeply.. 🙂
    (i hope posting link is allowed here..)

    • Salaam
      Thankyouuu Sister Mira xxx
      That helps alot especially with the hard time im havin atm ....
      My duas are wiv u Sister Mira very eye opening Takecare x

  13. Salam Everybody,

    I was googling about all hope being lost in this life and losing faith in Allah. After I read this thread, I honestly felt so much less alone. I also feel like I am at the dead end of a tunnel...there is a very very faint gleam of hope and light. All doors of opportunity seem to be closing down, literally everyone in my life that I think comes as a ray of hope leaves, none of my friends or family see my perspective. Many times I have want to run away from home into a homeless shelter.But alhumdullilah, everyone has reminded me the purpose of Allah, Islam, and life.I feel every very ashamed and even though I can not reverse time, I really hope to pray sincerely or at least attempt to in hopes Allah the All Merciful will forgive me. May you all stay blessed, safe, and healthy in this life and the next! Thank you all for opening up my eyes again. Jazakhullah.

  14. Salam
    What you guys have said is probably due to evil eye(nazar) please try hearing ruqyah of Shayhk Luhaidan Ma Sha Allah it’s very affective.
    Your brother in Islam

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