Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel deeply guilty after meeting a boy on the net

I meet a guy on the net. I added him because I was too upset and disturbed due to my house environment and wanted good advices from an unknown person who doesn'.€.™t know me or my family. I made a fake account by a fake name. He was a relationship advisor on a site and was very understanding and intellectual. We talked for few days and he gave me his mobile number and asked me to call or text him when ever I wanted.

One day he said he has feelings for me and proposed to me in superb words. I said no and told that I regard such acts as highly immoral and told him about my life. I told him that I don't want to keep any boyfriend because I think this how I would cheat the person who would sometime in life would become my life partner and I want to keep my soul and heart pure so that I can boldly tell him that he is the 1st man in my life and the last one. More over I feel like cheating Allah and my parents as I hate lying and deceiving. But again he said you don't realize that you have found that person and that'.€.™s me, open your eyes etc. telling u the truth he was exactly I had prayed for. He possessed the characteristics I had always daily mentioned in my prayers. And he said the same for me.

I don'.€.™t know if he was telling the truth or not but for me frankly it was truly like a miracle. And I think it surely was as it was the exact match of what I asked. Just due to this I said yes. As we both were 17 and young teenagers so we decided not to tell this to our parents at this time but surely in some appropriate age and time. Important thing for me was that he was as religious as I am. He offered Tahajud prayers for me when I got sick for a whole month. But somewhere inside I knew I was doing wrong. I tried to avoid him and in just few days after I said yes to him, I was killing myself every single day with a huge guilt. Then, I got exams and dint talked to him for a month.

Within that period of time I had almost ended myself with guilt that I am committing a sin and will be roasted in hell. I ruined my exams with the torture and felt sick and got spinal cord problem. I cried in every prayer and asked for forgiveness. After my exams I told him everything and said sorry and asked him to forget me. He acted very politely and accepted my decision and said he knew I would do this after exams. No doubt he was a miracle and I liked him and thought he might be a gift from Allah but I left him because for me love of Allah is more then anything in the world.

I am well aware of the fact that it is entirely my mistake and I am the one to be blamed as I was the one who came forward 1st and talked to him knowing it was a sin and devastated his and mine life. For a woman her world should be her house and her husband. I am again killing myself with the guilt that I have cheated that whosoever unknown but will to be known person. I have deceived him. It was my duty to keep my heart and soul pure for him. But I failed. I tried a lot but I failed. I fear facing my parents as they think their daughter is very pious and have also been deceiving them.

Now I think until I get married and tell him all the truth that I failed to keep my heart and emotions safe for him and I am his defaulter and until he forgives me I can never forgive myself. I know that Allah does forgive his Haqooq but Haqooq-ul-Ibad (rights of people) if are not fulfilled then Allah does not for give until the person forgives to whom you have done wrong. But on the other side I fear if in future I tell him all this and he rebukes me or leaves me then I would surely die at such a stage.

I don'.€.™t know what to do. I am being psychologically ill this way and cant over come this guilt and thoughts. Tell me a way to help me out to get out of his situation. And what should I do to preserve myself from the curse of Allah and the hell fire.


- Mahira from Pakistan

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2 Responses »

  1. stressing over nothin dont worry bout it

  2. salam!
    Don't be too hard to yourself Allah(swt) is the most merciful he forgives all sins if one repents sincerely.
    repentance has some conditions for its acceptance.

    First: Giving up of the sin itself.
    Second: Remorse over what has been committed.
    Third: A resolve not to repeat it, and, Fourth: Compensating those who have been wronged or obtaining their forgiveness

    I think you have done al the conditions so don't worry and you don't need to tell ur future husband about it
    or even if u tell him it's not a problem because u did not have a serious relationship with him and you are still pure and pious.
    Try to learn more about islam and then u'll know that how forgiving is Allah(swt) he loves people who repent.
    you have to know that Allah(swt) 's mercy is more than his curse. I hope this can help u inshallah.

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