Islamic marriage advice and family advice

«I feel like a loser – CLOSED



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  1. Assalamu alaikkum....
    I was having a relationship with a guy for 2yrs.there was so many issues regarding this in my family when they came to know our im 19..and he's 20..he was my senior in school..last month he passed in a car totally down and cant concentrate in anythings..i just cant even sleep.i cnt live without soo deprssd...he liked me more than anyone in the world..he was always talking about me to his friends about our marriage..his dream was to marry me...and he cant live without me...atlast of all allah taken him away from me...i just cnt control my emotion..i feel like im dieing...will i get him as my husband in paradise after death ??? Can we be together there ??? He still be remembering me in qabr ??? He can hear me when i pray for him ?? He can recognise me when i visit his grave ???

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I am sorry to hear of your loss. May Allah grant him mercy and a place in Jannah, inshaAllah.

      Losing someone we love is one of the most painful things in this life. If your parents knew about this guy, then it might help to talk to your mother about how you feel. She won't be able to make all the hurt go away, but she can inshaAllah support you as you get through this time. If you aren't able to talk with your mother or another trusted family member, try a counselling service such as CRUSE bereavement counselling.

      Remember him in your duas, ask Allah to grant him mercy and forgive his sins, make tawbah for your own sins, and trust in Allah that He has a plan for each and every one of us. At times of loss, it can help to reflect on Allah's Mercy and the beauty of Jannah - this can be a comfort.

      Nobody alive knows the specifics of what will happen for each of us in the next life, but we can make dua for our loved ones and ourselves. The best way to proceed is to ensure that from now on, you live a life that is in accordance with Islamic guidance, and make dua for this guy, as this is how we can beg for Allah's Mercy for those who we love.

      It's ok to visit his grave and remember him, but make sure that this doesn't consume you - if he truly loved you and wanted to marry you, he would want you to be able to find happiness again in this life.

      Midnightmoon editor

      • Thnkx fo ua rply....
        i cnt tell all those things to mother...because it hurts her alot thinking about me...but still i want him as my husband and i cnt imagine anyone in that position...i always use to pray for him..for his forgiveness to allah...i want to know one thing which is whether he remember me or so sad and i cnt even believe his death...its very hard for me to live now..what can i do to get him in paradise ???

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