Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel like the worst human ever


I'm 13 yrs old and live in USA. Recently I've been in difficulty. It started out one day I was just about to sleep and out of nowhere I started getting doubts about Islam in my mind. I went bonkers literally. I was not used to this and I got very uncomfortable my heart felt extremely painful but at the same time it was guiding me to what's right and wrong. (Like if I ever thought too much it would go painful and if I just was normal it subsides)

I was looking forward to Ramadan a lot cause shaitan would be locked up and I could worship Allah in peace but right when Ramadan began I was worse than before it came back so strong and I couldn't take it I wanted to die. But eventually it died down once again and I felt closer to God closer to Allah.

Then it was eid and I just went right back to it again and my heart after that felt so dead. I cant even explain. The quran talked about this type of people and I got scared. My whole family thought I was kinda crazy. But what if Allah thinks I'm crazy and kaffir?

You might think that's the bad part but this is the worst part - I pray every chance there is and I get shirk thoughts like "I did shirk - oh no - I'm destined for hell now". I can never pray salah without this stuff and it makes me cry a lot.

Now I am more at peace in my heart but the doubts are still here. I want the same pain back but it never comes my way - I failed. I'm so deluded I can't cry of fear no more I just don't know what to do anymore. I give up, it's too hard to take these thoughts.

Can anybody give advice for Allah's sake? Please make dua for Allah to guide me - I feel that my duas are no good.


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3 Responses »

  1. I may be wrong in what I say, but this is how I view Islam. "May Allah forgive me my errors I make here." This is what we say, but too many of us see ourselves as holy and sinless. Maybe because I am a convert from Christianity. I still see myself as a sinner. One of they first things I learned was that the wudhuu and the prayer and like washing away dirt, according to the famous hadeeth. We are given an opportunity five times a day to rush back to Allah, to beg Him for his mercy and to seek His forgiveness. A central part of our faith is we must believe in Allah's forgiveness. Shirk is unforgivable. But shirk is not simply a quick thought that passes through your mind, but the real deliberate act of rejecting Allah as He has shown Himself to be through our Prophet. All of us are weak and in my mind some of the worst Muslims are those who put on airs, who have lost so much humility and who end up being masjid police who enforce nothing but confusion and discord. The terrorists think like this. They are so pure, they believe it is up to them to kill what God has created and to purify the earth with blood and suffering. To have doubts is human. To question is human. Iman ebbs and flows. Our struggle is to spit in the face of Shaytan just when he thinks he has us, to sharply turn around and to run to the One who is our everlasting refuge. Don't be deceived by illusions of perfection. Our Prophet was sinless, but he made mistakes. He cried and begged Allah, yet he was our model and example. Please be humble. See your weakness as something Allah has put in you as a test. Frustrate the Shaytan and when you are weak, see yourself as kidnapped from your Creator, who wishes only for you to rush back to Him

    Allah is the Most High. Peace and blessings be upon the messenger of Allah.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    I think it's natural for us as humans to question things - looking for the answers to our questions is how we learn more about the issues. Would we have our current evidence base for Islam, science, maths, etc., if people hadn't questioned what was already known and investigated further?

    There is a difference between asking questions and stating disbelief. Saying "I don't understand this..." opens up the door to finding out more about the issue and about yourself. Saying "Nope - not buying it" closes your mind to learning more. It's important as we grow in our faith to identify things that we don't understand, so that we can learn, so that we can understand. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that one of the duties of a Muslim is to Learn.

    Use your questions as starting points to learn more about your faith - if there's something that you think "But that doesn't make sense" about, study that issue and find out what Islamic scholars say about it, what the Quran and ahadith say, even what disciplines such as science and history say.

    Just make sure that you are getting your information from reputable sources. These might include:-
    - study classes at your local mosque.
    - books from a reputable Islamic bookstore.
    - discussion with knowledgable members of your community.
    - textbooks or books about history/maths/science written from an Islamic or wholly academic perspective (look for ones by Muslim academics, from publishers with a reputation for publishing Islamically appropriate books, and ones recommended by knowledgable Muslims at your mosque).

    Remember that Allah is Most Merciful.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. dont say for allahs sake this is for your sakes

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