Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel that I lied to my mother

Secret marriage

Al Salam alaikum
I have done something recently that is making me sick to my stomach. I recently proposed to a girl that I have known for four years. Her biological parents are Muslims. However, when she was young her parents split up. Her biological father was supposedly abusive and her mom ended the marriage. The mother needed to find someone to take care of her family so she went out and married out of her religion. She married a Sikh man. I knew all about this before I took my parents to her house and talked marriage.
The bad thing I have done is not tell my parents about what her mother have done in the past. I know if my parents knew about this, they would most likely be opposed to me marrying into this family. My mother asked me if her parents are Muslims, and I said yes because technically they are. However, I neglected mentioning the other half of the story to my mother. i lied to my mother and did not tell her the whole truth, but I see no reason why this girl that intend to marry should be penalized for what her mother have done.
What should I do ? Please help


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3 Responses »

  1. AOA

    I think that's a very natural thing to do for someone you really want to be with. Although complete honesty comes first of course.

    It really depends on what the girl herself associates her beliefs with. If she is Islamic, then there is no reason to worry about your future with her Inshallah.

    Although it is worth mentioning that the mother of the girl has married a Sikh man and that really goes to show the lack of Islamic guidance/upbringing the daughter may have received while growing up and it may be useful to ensure the girl is ready to follow Islam in the future.

    The truth will surely come to light if the marriage happens with further discussions between families and the obvious differences that will emerge in marital procedures.

    You will have to have a plan on how to tackle this when it happens. It could be by making your closer parent your confidante or indeed coming clean in advance.

    Hope this helps and Allah knows best.


  2. Marrying Sikh man shows her lack of imaan .the relationship will be considered as zina ..whether she remained Muslim after marriage is big question ..if she was involved in worshipping Sikh related stuff than she will be out of Islam ..on top of it her marriage was invalid n equal to zina ...yes you have technically lied to your parents is higly unlikely that mother has given any Islamic brought to the daughter which will be a big big issue if not ..

  3. Walaikum As Salam Brother

    If you took your parents to her house. Wasnt her present Sikh father available to have a talk with your parents? If not, then hasnt your parents ask you about her father? Or you mean to say that you just told them about her biological father ( being muslim ) and didnt tell them about her present Sikh father ? If yes, than that is not right on your part. Because you have kept your parents in dark which you shouldnt have had.

    You should tell your parents about the real story. Who knows except ALLAH , even there thoughts might match yours of why the girl should be punished for the misdeeds of her mother and father. But for that you need to confine in them and tell them everything honestly before it gets very late. Your parents wont trust yku further if in case they come to know about all this from some third person. So you see a desired time and tell them as soon as possible.

    May ALLAH (swt) bless you.

    Wa Salam

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