Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I found out my Mom is talking to someone else.

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Salam alaikum,

I don't know how to say this, but i found out my mom is talking to another man. She left her phone with me by mistake and I wanted to send a message to my sister through her WhatsApp and I saw the conversation between her and this"Dr". She's also a doctor by the way. I just froze for a second and didn't know what to do. I gave her back her phone and acted normal. Now, I don't know what to do. I can sense why she's doing this. My father is always angry , he is verbally and emotionally abusive to all of us (don't even suggest telling him) , so what I've been thinking about doing is to go out me and my mom only ,or maybe my sister and brother too, and confront her (myself only , don't want my siblings to find out) and confront her and tell her that this is wrong and she shouldn't do this and recently she started posting her photos as WhatsApp profile picture of course it's a normal picture but now i kinda know why she started doing that and i found some selfies with her hijab and work dress so that must've been while she's working ; my mom never and I mean never takes selfies so I guessed she sent him those pictures. I don't what to do. Allah help us all.

sorry for taking so long


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5 Responses »

  1. May be they are just friends. She is mature lady she must know her limitation; it's OK if she talks to someone as a friend.

    • In Islam it is not OK to have friendship with opposite gender .its haraam .There are many matured women who have affairs .Ex of French President candidate who has wife 25 year older than him and was married with 3 kids when she had extramarital affair n took divorce .So point is anything is possible irrespective of age .Thats why Islam is correct about asking people to keep a distance and set a proper guidelines while interacting with opposite gender irrespective of age ...

    • It's NOT okay for a woman to befriend another male who is non-mahram (marriagable). That's pretty clear within the religion of Islam. The religion permits her to befriend females but not males, especially if she is married. She maybe talking to him but showing pictures of herself and inappropriate conversations that are private between them are strictly forbidden.

      She needs to realise her path will lead to distruction, distruction of her family home, rift between the spouses, disruption in the lives of the children and their upbringing.

      Sania Saleem - it's correct to hold good opinions of others and Muslims, but when an action is done which is contrary and open or secret, the person needs to be informed and advised to leave the sin they are involved in.

      Anon99 - Be wise in your approach to confront her. It is best that you do it alone and if needs be, give her the ultimatum that if she does not leave her sin, you will inform her father (which you may or may not wish to do). Maybe the fear of being exposed may make her realise her sin. And advise her to repent, begin to pray her salah and stay by her side at all times.

      And Allah knows best.

  2. Assalaamualaykum Anon99,

    I think that your idea of talking to your mother in private is a good start if you believe she is having an affair. Because you are living with her, it will continue to weigh on your mind in one way or another, so I say go for it. If you have doubts in your mind even after talking to her, please pray to Allah to grant you solution and peace. It may be that the best you can do is get help for yourself through therapy/counseling. Hopefully though, talking to her alone will be enough for her to see that her actions are affective her family.

    May Allah help you in this matter,



  3. Talking to her in private is a better idea!! Don't tell your father as it might lead to Divorce.

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