Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I get sexual thoughts about my male best friend

Woman alone

I am a 25 yr old girl , single from Southeast Asia . I have a friend who lives in West (we both originally belong to same country). We both are school mates (random friends) at school. I havent met this guy for more than a decade since school due to long distance but I would always consult him if I needed advise over social media. Even though we weren’t best friends.

But now since a year we have been texting every single day . Cause we have the same profession, likes and dislikes (both doctors), both planning to settle in same country, so we kind of became best friends. We would casually flirt some times but it was nothing serious. We both belong to different sectors of Islam. He has asked me to Convert a couple of times. But I took it as a joke.

Now we have both confessed we like each other. I try to keep it simple in our conversation considering we have to married future but he some times tries to cross the line (not that bad) but still bad enough. He confessed that he has sexual thoughts about me. He has asked for my pictures on snap chat many times lately. First, I thought it’s because he just wants to see me. But now I'm scared and disgusted. I can’t stop myself from having sexual thoughts about him too (I didn’t tell him that). I even dream about him (not sexual), but may times.

Some of my friends say he is into me for my residentship in this country (xyz), he wants to secure his future.

We both understand we are doing it wrong! And now have decided to take a break for some time because our friend ship is going the wrong way .

Pls guide me away from such feelings and thoughts towards him. I can’t focus on studying, or my profession. I feel good and disgusted at myself same time.

For 25 yrs I have kept myself away from such relations, in hard times (living in diff countries and having friends from diff religion). I will be getting married soon, after I pass my exam. But why am I so restless now. ?! 🙁 pls guide me.

Areej

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5 Responses »

  1. If you believe in Allah and his messenger the seal of prophets then
    What stops you from getting married if you like him for who he is... but know this in Islam all this is wrong we cannot commit these sinful acts because God wants us to live a pure clean life..and knows what is best for us.

    The best example is our prophet Muhammad who is shown by eg. And told his companions whatever they needed to know...If you are doing this because of LUST ...and nothing to do with being a Muslim. .Then it will be problematic down the road. Because that desire will last for a short time...think about it .I know this because I come from a mixed family that some are muslims and catholics..Although we see each other now n then there still a feeling of strangers amongst us and because of are beliefs...EG. . Food religious holidays dealings with opposite sexs etc....So you have to really give it thought......and if you except Islam to be the correct in your heart and you like him.....then get married right away....In Islam you just need 3 witnesses you can do the big party latter at another time....At the same time you can go to school .....because being in this middle road is unhealthy for you....If you need more info on Islam it's rules and duties and questions on various topics...You can get the book or app called heavenly ornaments . I just want to say I am a revert and my wife is a scholor.....The I slam you see today is so weak because of a very weak foundation and corrupted people ...all due to the incorrect guidance from true scholors.....It's just like a person trying to give advice and prescribe medication to someone who isn't a doctor. ....this is what's happened for the most part.......So do what makes you happy

  2. OP: We would casually flirt some times but it was nothing serious. We both belong to different sectors of Islam. He has asked me to Convert a couple of times. But I took it as a joke.

    Are you sure he will marry you without converting to his sect? Is your family OK with this sect thing?
    Stop flirting, he may make you do things on skype which you later may regret. Get married first.

  3. Same thing with me, except its with a crush of mine. It happened today, too 🙁
    Shifting around in my seat, I got aroused and began to have 'thoughts'....then I dwelled on them and reached an O...
    I feel so dirty and ashamed, especially since its during ramadan, and today might be laylatul-qadr.....
    I am a sick, disgusting girl'''''people think im a good girl but since i did this i feel so bad and low in quality and moral. Masturbation is so bad, I know some ppl think its okay but my family follow the madhab where its considered a very very major sin that sends one to hellfire

    I used to want to marry him, but now I feel so guilty of doing this act I do not want to anymore. I can't believe I did this, it used to be an innocent crush with nothing bad behind it, now its horrible!
    I wanted us to gt married but now i am feel too guilty for such thing.

    I feel sick whenever I think of this. How can I make up for this sin in ramadan?
    Also, am I required to make ghusl even though I am not sure if what I saw was because of this arousal or because of regular daily wet that I get?

  4. anonymousgirl: Shifting around in my seat, I got aroused and began to have 'thoughts'....then I dwelled on them and reached an O...Also, am I required to make ghusl even though I am not sure if what I saw was because of this arousal or because of regular daily wet that I get?

    If you reached an O..., it is more then a regular daily wet. Is is common for you to get O.......without touching? In men it is hard to get O....without touching with exception in a dream.

    What is the reason you don't want to marry your crush? Do you find him extremely handsome.

    • I don't want to marry him because I feel guilty about the thoughts, it used to be an innocent crush but now its bad because of the thoughts and stuff

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