Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I hate my dad, is this normal?

disappointed father

I hate my dad as far as i can remember. Ever since i was little he would often beat me for the littlest things and blame everything on me till now. I have never gotten along with him, we have different interests and personalties and every time i have try talking to him he either pushes me away or acts like has no interest in anything i have to say. I feel like it could be the impact during his childhood when he lost his mother at a young age which could be the reason for him to be angry and depressed all the time but i don't know. He also used to beat my mother during my childhood and i would witness it with my sister as well, apparently he would even hit her when she was pregnant with me! I am currently jobless and he expect me to pay my own insurance and gas money yet while my sister who works, he pays off everything for her but won't do anything for me. I feel like this is not fair and argue with him on this topic every day.


I don't know how to get rid of this feeling, i try to like him but i just can't. Is this normal?


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1 Responses »

  1. When defining what normal behaviour or normal feelings are, it's important to put them into a context. Is it normal to hate your parent - or ANYONE - if they are kind, calm, loving, supportive and peaceful? No, it's not. Is it normal to hate your parent - or ANYONE - if they are abusive, aggressive, oppressive, cold and controlling? Yes, it's normal.

    We can't change anyone but ourselves...and sometimes, the way other people treat is comes down to how we treat them. If you have tried to be nice, kind, patient, etc. and the other person still treats you like shit...then it's safe to assume the problem isn't you, but the other person. As I said, we can't change other people, so all you can do with people that have zero respect for you is to distance yourself from them. It's, of course, easier said than done when it comes to our parents, but...parent or not, you have the right to have peace of mind. If your parent is not giving you that, you're entitled to back off and focus on yourself.

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