Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have big dreams, but every door is shut


I'm a 24-year-old guy who always had big dreams and aspirations. I always wanted to do something substantial with my life. I believed (I still do) that death is inevitable, so I wanted my life to have a meaning. I never liked the idea of my tombstone being the only thing/mark that I'm going to leave in this world when I die, but I wanted to do something that would make my name live on even after I die.

Maybe I was and have always been too philosophical but the dreams and aspirations were always big and mighty. And the aspirations have never been limited to duniya (worldly) alone. I wanted to make it big in Deen and Duniya alike and I still do.

I had always been a good student and bit religious in my childhood. But then I lost the plot somewhere. I confess I went into some bad habits but I don't want to delve upon those habits as I know the problems would be squarely blamed upon those habits (which I know is true). But I want help to resurrect the mistakes I have committed and to leave those bad habits.

I've been two years out of college and I haven't landed a job yet. during college I tried hard to study but couldn't get myself to open the books. I did study, but just during exams. That was mistake no .1, which became a reason for me not being able to land a job because I knew nothing about the subject I studied in college. I switched on and off  from religion during college.

I did some other courses but I didn't learn from my previous mistakes in college and didn't study well (although I knew the repercussions of it very well ). But defying all that, when I had to study and pray salah, I somehow didn't. so again I didn't land a job because I knew nothing about the course I had done. that was mistake no.2.

Still I tried studying for another exam, but again the same story. I'm yet to land a job and it's too late for me to have even an iota of chance to qualify for that exam. Mistake no 3.

Right now, I feel like my dreams and desires have crashed. I try to keep faith, but it somehow is short-lived. I make full resolve to study but yet again I fail. like I said, I wanted to make it big in deen as well, so I make a resolve I will pray but when the time comes I falter. Why do I make mistake after mistake and yet don't learn anything from it?

I'm so confused about what I have to do from now on, to a point where I don't even know if I'm made for studies anymore. I wanted to open a business and make it big, but then again when I begin to work on it I don't know where to start or what things I need to do. It's like all doors seem closed. I tried looking for job, but I don't see any opportunities.

I wanted to become a hafiz, learn Arabic, learn Fiqh, Deenyat and become good on the religious front; but I don't seem to have that motivation or dedication in me. I wanted to be so many things but now I'm not even a single one of those things.

It's all come to a point where I ask God for some miracle. To give me that motivation and dedication by some divine miracle, and show me the path. then if I don't go on that path, that would be my mistake.

While writing this, I don't even know what I'm asking help for.  Somehow I know the answer lies in prayers.,  and I'm gonna get answers like "pray and make duas" etc. but I know that already. The problem is, like in studies I want to do hard work and get so engrossed in studies that I forget about everything else, but I'm not able to do it. Similarly in deen I want to pray and pray a lot, but I fail always.

A couple of nights ago my mum (who's very religious) told me she had a dream where she saw herself in a mosque trying to find place for herself  as it was jam packed. Then a lady came and told her "your son's problems would all have eased but he doesn't remember God or he doesn't takes God's name". Does that mean something? If someone could interpret that dream for me, that would be really helpful. She usually tells me to pray and ask for Allah's help.

Is Allah trying to show/tell me something? I usually feel like God shows me some signs. Like if I am down and out sometimes, or if I have lost faith in dua and have lost hope, somehow I lay my eyes upon some verse from Quran or some Quotes of Sahaba R.A or some Ahadeeth; or some poor guy on the road and things like that. Or maybe I'm too sensitive.

I always believed God gave me the talents that I have for some reason. Everyone used to say that I'm talented on different fronts and I'm gonna do something great with my life. And I too want that. On top of that I not only want to do that duniya-wise, but also deen-wise, then why am I not being able to do it?

Is it because of my sins that I commit? But when I try to leave those sins I fail again. What do I do about it? Is asking for duniya bad? but I ask for duniya along with deen. If I ask to be rich, I want it for a good life for my family and also to help poor and needy the way I have always dreamt of doing. Is that such a bad and big thing to ask for?

My life is going through a crisis. Not a single day passes without this thought where I somehow don't understand why I don't stop thinking and start doing. But I fail, and that's why I'm here.

There are a lot of good people out here, and may God reward them for helping people so nicely. I know I've  already written a lot  and only God can help me.  But still with a lot of expectations, I've written all of this in the hope of some advice and some help.  I hope I won't be disappointed. I would really appreciate any duas and tasbeeh's.  I thank you guys for taking the time to read it and please pray for me.


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35 Responses »

  1. Dear brother !
    i understand your problem ! see brother every body is a sinner , but almighty Allah is very great to for give us , don't you think ! i will request you to keep your self in wadooh most of the time even you don't pray but keep your self in wadooh ! remember your sin and recite astakhfar ! many time and ' try to read Quran e kareem with its meanings in your language only meaning word by word and not taffaseer ! take a dictionary arabic and your language if you find any difficult word just consult the dictionary , just 2 lines a day thats all and pray to Allah '" RABA NA TAQABAL MINA INA KA ANTA SAMI UN ALEEM " AND DAROOD E IBRAHIMI ONE TIME INSHALLAH YOU WILL BE OK please keep remember me in your prayers

    • Thank you brother for your help and duas. InshaAllah I'll try to stay in Wudooh as much as possible. And read Quran. May Allah reward you here and in the hereafter. Plz pray for me that I stay steadfast this time.

    • Thank you brother for your help and duas. InshaAllah I'll try to stay in Wudooh as much as possible. And read Quran. May Allah reward you here and in the hereafter. Plz pray for me that I stay steadfast this time.

  2. Wa Alaikum Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Brother Nimfeo I went trough the same Problem and Somehow still suck on it..... but it seems we are missing something and we don't wanna see/look for that thing.

    “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11)

    You see yaa Akhi I used get motived everyday but than I never go for what I want, for example you said you wanted get a job than u never studied well.... so what is the point of going to college if you aren't serious for studying? you see where the problem coming from. You want to do something but you never take action of doing that thing.

    I'm the kind of girl who always wants to achieve a lot in life and I had Role Models but than I was like you, I just kept Dreaming and never went for what I want. I never missed Prayers and Read the QUr'an Daily or twice a week, I was like that I was waiting A Miracle to come... I used to make duas but after duas I kept sitting the same chair I was sitting and never started an action Allah showed me a lot of signs but I was blind... . I became insure and believed that I can never be the person I always wanted to be, I became sad person and lost in thoughts always till I become skinny... so I started reading this book called "The Secret" which helped me a lot I also started listening Inspirational videos on Youtube and Sh Yasir Qadi who always talks the Power of Duas. I really got inspired and from that day I decided to change Myself and help myself, I started doing what I always loved to do, I started studying hard. Alhamdullilah today I'm much better than I was before and I achieved some of my dreams.

    So Brother stop feeling Useless and being Insure.... Start learning about yourself, I mean your Weakness, your Strength... do something about yourself, for Example if you used to get lazy of reading, try to bush yourself and read more including Qur'an because it's the Way you can achieve anything than slowly you can change anything withing yourself..... you have to believe that you can study hard and can achieve anything in this world in and in Akhira sha Allah.... and get surrounded with people who inspires you and tells you that you can achieve anything.

    • Thank you Sister. Your post is really helpful. I understand , only dua and no action , cannot make things happen. I have to stay steadfast in prayers and ask for Allahs help but its me who has to take some actions.
      I thank you again sister. May Allah reward you here and in the hereafter. And may you,me, and everyone else stay on the righteous path and may God be with us all always.

  3. Asalamoalaikum brother,

    Thank you for writing to us. What you are going through are two different hurdles happening simultaneously: (1) your lack of interest in deen and (2) your lack of interest in your education.
    The problem with many people is that we set up high expectations for ourselves, give ourselves hope but then we don’t follow through with our aspirations. You say you want to have a big business, you want to be heavily involved with your deen but then when the time comes to implement these things you fall short of everything.

    The number one problem I feel this society suffers is their management of time. You need to learn time management skills; you have to discipline yourself. And believe me, it’s not easy. What I like to do is create a task list with all the tasks I need to complete every day and once I’ve completed a task on the list, I cross it out. I do this day by day and sometimes I create a weekly task list. It keeps me focused and reminds of all the things I need to do. An example would be as simple as writing: “Complete 5 daily salat”.

    As a student, time management for me is crucial but for many years I have suffered from procrastination (and I still do sometimes). The way I came across it in my life was when I realized I could do things the night before and still get away with it. With that came a cost though: my work performance, my stress level, my sleep and my marks slowly started deteriorating. Here is where the discipline comes in. Even if you do not want to do task (a) or (b), you have to push yourself to it. Remind yourself why you’re doing the task in the first place. I find that when I make Allah swt my goal (e.g., I am studying for the sake of helping others in society and making Allah swt happy), I feel a lot more inner motivation. When the source of my motivation is materialistic though (e.g., I am studying so I can make a lot of money and have a huge house) I fall short of meeting my goals. Through everything you do in life your goal should be to remember and please Him.

    I find that when I offer my salat and remember Allah swt through other means, I am leaving my stressors up to Him to take care of. I feel a big weight being removed off my shoulder. And He does help. So your connection with your creator is crucial. For me offering Fajar salat is always the most difficult since I am not a morning person but with discipline I’ve learnt to get up on time and pray.

    Dear brother, always remember to get something good, you have give up something for it.

    Lastly, it might be that what you’re studying is not of particular interest to you. I find that for some of my courses when I am not interested in it, reading even 1 page of my homework becomes difficult. So try and gauge to see if your boredom towards your education may perhaps be because you’re not interested in what you’re pursuing. If that is the case, then find something that embarks your interest, work hard (motivation, time management and discipline are key), and always keep that connection with Allah swt.

    -Helping Sister

    • Assalamualikum sister,
      While there is no lack of interest in deen and education, (because i said i wanted to excel in both), but i guess, my lack of action implies otherwise. You are right on all counts sister. Dreams, duas and action go hand in hand. You are right in saying that when the time demands action , i fail to act.
      I try to chalk out my plans and try to do things in their alloted time, as i like to be planned and organised. I cant do work just like that. I am a planner. but i fail everyday. I give myself small goals for each day. Just like you, i write "pray 5 salats today. Do this till the first half of the daydo that in the evening"and this like that. I try to keep the goals as short as possible. But i fail to stick to that schedule and end up doing just one of the tasks for the alloted day, or none at all. Any help on that could be helpful Sister.
      I will try to make Him my goal. I 'll try to leave my worries and stresses unto him.
      Do pray for me. May AALh reward ypou here and in the hereafter.

  4. AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother,

    You seem like a man with a message for mankind-Msha’Allah, but it also seems like you are rejecting the message-May Allah protect you from losing it!

    The content in your Mum’s dream seems to have something important to do with your life as a whole, and your commitment to Allah, which could help you achieve your dreams Insha’Allah. It seems like (and Allah knows best) your Mum has been praying for your success in this Dunya and Akhirah, and has been thinking of your situation for a while, and the message from Allah to her for you, is for you to turn to Allah in repentance and to remember Him a lot in your daily life activities, plus sticking to making du’as to Him and having faith in Him. If this is truly a dream from Allah, then the miracle you have been expecting has already arrived indirectly. Allah (s.w.t) has answered you. And the answer is for you to also answer Him, and continue having faith in Him and remembering Him all the time. Allah the Almighty says: "And when My servants ask you about Me, I Am near; I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me. So let them answer Me, and have faith in Me, that they may be rightly guided." (Quran 2: 186)

    Perhaps, you may think that you have had faith in Him and worshiped Him for a long time and nothing really happened. But the truth is that, you didn’t have the complete intention for His sake, and neither did you fully trust in Him. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have gone forth and back in those sins. Perhaps you should also increase your level of Ibadah by doing them properly and constantly. The truth is very plain and hard to accept and follow, but there is really nothing beyond it, except falsehood.

    There are four things that could help you receive the message Allah has for you, and could also help you to deliver it to the world.

    -1- Making the intention for Allah alone. Like to make the intention completely for the sake of pleasing Allah and for the sake of getting rewarded continuously even after you die, but not for the sake of your name to live in this world forever.

    -2- Trusting in Allah. The complete trust in Allah that He will make you achieve your dreams one day, no matter how big they are, without you losing any hope or doubting in the practice of Allah.

    -3- Working towards achieving your dreams. Like acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary for achieving your dreams. Allah is always ready to help you spiritually when you help yourself physically. Allah says: “…God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves. And if God wills any hardship for a people (for the direction they have chosen), there is no turning it back (except through repentance and changes within themselves);, and apart from Him they have no protector." (Quran 13: 11) “Corruption has appeared on land and sea, because of what people’s hands have earned, in order to make them taste some of what they have done, so that they might return.” (Quran 30: 41)

    -4- Efforts and determination. For example, if you wanted to stand up on your feet. You can never do it if Allah did not decree for you the power and strength to do so, and if you did it, it's because Allah decreed for you that power when you made the intention to stand up on you feet, by not making you weak and sick. On the other hand, Allah may decree for you the strength after your intention, but it will depend on you to use it to stand up on your feet, and Allah will not force you to do so, after He has given you the power and has left the matter for you to decide. The likeness of this is the education/skills that will enable you to achieve your dreams. Allah decreed for you the opportunity to be in collage, but you never made use of this opportunity, yet you wanted Allah to force you to achieve your dreams (by miracle), after He has given you the power and strength you needed!!! It has been reported in Al-Tabrani that, the Prophet (s.a.w.s) said, `Verily, Allah loves that when anyone of you does a job he should perfect it'

    My brother, it’s never too late for you to receive the message Allah has for you in this world. Everyone has a message to deliver to the world. Our beloved Prophet (s.a.w.s) started receiving his message at the age of 40, and he was able to complete receiving and delivering it to the world within 23 good years. He (s.a.w.s) passed away about 1434 years ago, yet his message and his name are still alive. You are 24 now right? 24 is really far younger than 40. And 40 is even younger as compared to many other people who started their education in their late life, and then received their messages and eventually delivered them to the world by the grace of Almighty Allah. So consider yourself as a little boy, Akhi, and start everything all over again. For you can start again and fill up the gaps that were left uncompleted. If it’s about going back to collage for a second undergraduate degree/postgraduate degree/professional certificate, just do it and study hard ok! I can assure you that if you really did so wholeheartedly for the sake of Allah, you have defiantly answered the call of Allah, and He will fulfill His promise for you, and you shall receive the message, and you shall deliver it to the world Insha’Allah.

    You say you haven’t got a job yet, but the way I think of you is not as a person who goes out in search for jobs, but I think of you as a person who plans and creates his own halal jobs, and is his own boss at the same time, while others come in search for jobs in his companies. This could happen by creating small business/s, and eventually will become something big insha'Allah. Also, if you have your own business taking care of, you can have much time to focus on your Deen, like to memorize the Holy Quran and Hadeeths, plus to learn many of the Islamic sciences and rulings, and all that will eventually be transparent in the businesses you creat insha'Allah, and this is what will make them halal businesses. And by doing so, you have really achieved your Dunya and Akhirah dreams altogether, by the grace of Almighty Allah. May Allah make your dreams come true brother! Ameen, Ameen, Ameen!!!

    Just as you are sitting there right now reading the responses of your Brothers and Sisters to your post, I strongly believe that you could do something right away towards your dreams. You can really start doing something right now. Do not postpone the call, because postponing is the work and waswasa of Shaitan. Start something right away even if it will be on the gradual level. You may start by being alone for a while and having special hours between you and Allah. You may do two things during those hours. 1- Repenting and making your intention good for Allah. 2- Thinking of a particular dream you really are interested in achieving, and then examine yourself and your physical means. If it’s about going back to college, just do it. And if it’s about self education, just do it and get some practical skills at the same time. Also, you may pray Istikharah to help you stick to one particular dream out of your many dreams first. You may also continue this meeting between you and Allah everyday or at least thrice or twice in a week. Make sure you always have your pen and your dream book beside you, during those meeting hours, and then whenever any new thought comes to you, write it down. Also, pray to Allah for steadfast on your Deen and on what you are doing. It is reported in Tirmidhi that, the prophet (s.a.w.s) often said: "O Turner of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on Your Deen. So, Anas (RA) asked, We have believed in you and what you have brought. Are you apprehensive about us? He said, Yes hearts are, surely, between two of the fingers of Allah. He may turn them as He will."

    يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِك

    And this is another most important Du’a for steadfast, but I didn’t find the English version of it. Perhaps you already read some Arabic. This will not only help you to have steadfast on the Deen alone, but will also help you to be stable in whatever you are doing towards achieving your dreams, as long as you are doing it for the sake of Allah.

    اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الثَّبَاتَ فِي الْأَمْرِ، وَالْعَزِيمَةَ عَلَى الرُّشْدِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ، وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ شُكْرَ نِعْمَتِكَ، وَحُسْنَ عِبَادَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ قَلْبَاً سَلِيمَاً، وَلِسَانَاً صَادِقَاً، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا تَعْلَمُ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا تَعْلَمُ، وَأَسْتَغْفِرُكَ لِمَا تَعْلَمُ، إِنَّكَ أنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ

    Also, another most important advice to you, is to abstain from bad friends and be with good Muslim brothers, who will always remind you of Allah and of your errors. Bad friends never guide unless to the wrong path. Allah the Almighty says: "On that Day, the wrongdoer will bite his hands, and say, “If only I had followed the way with the Messenger. Oh, woe to me; I wish I never took so-and-so for a friend. He led me away from the Message after it had come to me; for Satan has always been a betrayer of man.” (Quran 25: 27-29) "O you who believe! Be conscious of God, and be with the sincere." (Quran 9: 119)

    • Assalumalikum,
      As i read this post of yours, i couldn't stop crying, tears flowed from my eyes. And as i write this , i feel a sense of gratitude towards you. With teary eyes, I first of all want to thank you for answering and helping out in such a nice way. Its amazing how people who dont know each other , have never met,understand others problems. May Allah reward u here and in the hereafter. Plz pray for me.
      Thank you for interpreting the dream so well. You are right , maybe Allah wants me to turn to him in repentance. And maybe He wants me to do this and let Him take care of all my worries. What a feeling that is, knowing that there is someone who asks you to leave all your problems and worries to Him. and that Him is the creator of all things. He has the power over everything. He created those thoughts and desires to achieve, in me. Surely He wouldn't have planted those thoughts in me without a reason. He knows i can achieve all my dreams , He just asks for me to turn towards him. Rest He will take care of everything. I feel like a heavy burden is lifted from my shoulders. I want this feeling to stay with me for ever. But Satan wouldn't let me.
      Here i remember an experenece from my life.I had a point in my life, when i had this kind of faith in Allah. On the risk of sounding like a kafir, i felt like when i left all my worries to Allah, i am leaving my worries to someone powerful , like when during childhood, if i had some problem i left it to my father or some one who loves me, so he takes care of it and i dont have to think too much of it. For the first time in my life i had felt that kind of feeling, where i knew that im submitting myself to someone who has power over everything and who creates education , jobs and everything. if He wills he can do anything . It almost felt like, when in childhood you have a rich uncle, and you know you can go and ask him anything, and he wont refuse , coz he's rich. Similarly i felt like Im asking someone who has the power to give me anything. Those days i was looking to get a job or some kind of settlement somewhere, be it getting in some college for higher education or a job. But like always i never wanted to work hard for it, coz it alwatys felt beyond my reach. Then i sat for a nation-wide entrance test to a prestigious institute. I went there just hoping i wud qualify by guess work, i just studied a little for it, but not enough to guarantee a selection. I did a lot of guess-work, and rst of my friends did that too. They all didnt have any hope of qualifying it, but i had that feeling of that rich uncle giving me anything. I believed Allah can do anything. Not once did i falter in my belief. Whenever my friends used to say, "How can you expect to score more and get selected than other students who would have studied much more than us", I would say that i have some kind of belief. It was the most beautiful feeling, where i felt like i was safe. I prayed those days , just asking God to help me, and saying that I knew he would help. Till the results came out, and Me and two of my friends were selected. They couldn't believe it. But it reiterated my belief in Him. It felt ike "I knew he would help, coz i believed He would". I wanted to have that feeling with me for forever. But like I said, Satan always plays the spoilsport. Slowly the feeling vanished. Maybe because i went back and forth in my prayers. Till i completely left it.(If my feeling towards Allah that time was any way blasphemous or can qualify as kufr (God Forbid), plz let me know.

      So this time too , i dont want to leave this feeling. Plz suggest some ways of having this feeling always.
      How do i have that faith in Allah do i have that complete trust in Allah that He will make me achieve your dreams one day, no matter how big they are, without losing any hope or doubting in the practice of Allah.

      I have started prayers. I started for one day, and left it for two days. I felt ashamed but i kept saying to myself that its Satan who wants me to feel ashamed and inturn leave the prayers again as a result of that guilt. So i started again. Right now i'm taking it slowly. Praying Salah at home, missing some but praying Qadha later. Hopefully from here i want to be able to start praying at Mosque very soon. I wanted to start at home first and make myself steadfast in it. and then move to praying at Mosque. I dont know if Im right or wrong in thinking so. Do shed some light on it. And pray that I stay steadfast this time.
      You are right about efforts and determination. And what a good example you gave. Im looking forward to self study and get myself the required skill set for building a start-up. Im willing to do it this time, and only hope that i don't falter and fail like always. Are you suggesting Istikhara for me to select which dream to focus on first. If yes, then i think that would be a great thing to do. I don't know much about Istikhara. Do lemme know about it.
      Also Thank you for the duas.
      I thank you again for your help and only pray that Allah bless you and your family. World seems to be a wonderful place with people like you.
      Do help again. Waiting for the replies on the questions.
      MAy Allah protect you and me from all sins . May ALLAH be with us all.

      • Subhanallah, I didn't know my beloved brother responded, and asked me questions. I just couldn't stop weeping while reading this from you Brother. I will reply you soon Insha Allah. May Allah be with you Brother!

      • AsSalamu Alaikum Brother,

        I am glad to know that you are getting the same feeling again as you did before, Alhamdulillah. The only thing that could make this feeling last is your closeness to Allah, and your efforts and determination towards achieving your dreams.

        Maybe you should draw a plan for one dream (the self study), and then start working hard on it. We can make a deal. We should meet here at the end of every month, and then you tell me how far you have improved. Through out every month, I will be praying for you at my end Insha Allah, and you will be working hard, at your end Insha Allah. And Insha Allah I will not keep you working hard while I stop praying for you, and Insha Allah you will not keep me praying hard for you while you stop making the efforts. If you agree to this, let me know brother, and I am ever ready Insha Allah. What do you think Brother? I really feel that you can make it this time Insha Allah.

        Also, you may considre reading some books written by some experts in your dream area. Learn how they started it, and how they managed it, and how they achieved it. You don't need to do something big for now. You just need to start something small, and then gradually you will get to where you want Insha Allah.

        As for the Istikhara, perform it and then mention the dreams you want to achieve, and then after a while see what your heart tells you to start first, and then follow it. You should also consider the means as well.

        Please follow this link to learn about the Istikhara and how to perfom it.

        As for your prayers, I think it's best for you to start praying at the Masjid. Masjid is the home of Allah, and there are many blessings and mercy decending in it all the time. It is really a beautiful and peacful place, for anyone who wants peace and happiness in life. Pray in the Masjid, sit in it for a while and do some Zikr or read some Ayahs from the Holy Quran (especially after Fajir and Asir Salaats). And you could even make some good friends at the Masjid, you know?! May Allah help you!

        Allah (s.w.t) says, Do not stand in it, ever. A mosque founded upon piety from the first day is worthier of your standing in it. In it are men who love to be purified. God loves those who purify themselves. (Quran 9: 108)36. In houses (Masjids) which God has permitted to be raised, and His name is celebrated therein. He is glorified therein, morning and evening, by men who neither trading nor commerce distracts them from God’s remembrance, and from performing the prayers, and from giving alms. They fear a Day when hearts and sights are overturned. God will reward them according to the best of what they did, and He will increase them from His bounty. God provides for whomever He wills without reckoning.
        (Quran 24:36-38)

        Narrated Abu Huraira (r.a), the Prophet (s.a.w.s) said, "The prayer offered in congregation is twenty five times more superior (in reward) to the prayer offered alone in one's house or in a business center, because if one performs ablution and does it perfectly, and then proceeds to the mosque with the sole intention of praying, then for each step which he takes towards the mosque, Allah upgrades him a degree in reward and (forgives) crosses out one sin till he enters the mosque. When he enters the mosque he is considered in prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer and the angels keep on asking for Allah's forgiveness for him and they keep on saying: 'O Allah! Be Merciful to him, O Allah! Forgive him, as long as he keeps on sitting at his praying place and does not pass wind."
        Bukhari Book 1 Volume 8 Hadith 466

        Some say the reward is 27 times not 25.

        You may also want to read these verses to increase your hopes.

        Finally, you should seek your Mom's duas as well. Ask her to make a lot of duas for you. Our Moms are really blessings for us!!!
        May Allah ease the way for you to achieve all your dreams brother!
        Please keep me in your duas.
        I will be waiting for your reply insha Allah.

        P.S. Anyway, I was very glad reading what your wrote, and I really believe it. "He has the power over everything. He created those thoughts and desires to achieve, in me. Surely He wouldn't have planted those thoughts in me without a reason. He knows i can achieve all my dreams , He just asks for me to turn towards him. Rest He will take care of everything."

        • AsSalaamu Alaikum Br. Wael,

          My comment on this forum alone is awaiting moderation. Please check it for me

          Jazakallahu Khairan

        • Assalamualaikum,
          Once again a big thank you for such a nice response. Thank you for all those duas. It feels great to know that someone out there is praying for me. may Allah reward you for all your generosity and kindness.
          I am happy to know that you want to meet here at the end of every month. That is such a nice plan mashaAllah. I would be happy to have the support of someone in my endeavours to be on the right path and achieve my dreams. I would certainly love to meet heer by the end of every month and let you know about my progress InshaAllah.

          infact i should start from today only.

          You would be happy to know that Im still going on with my salahs (Alhumdulillah), but only at home. I miss some but i make sure to pray Qadha. But the benefits of praying in congregation that you shared have made me to think about going to Mosque. I will InshaAllah try to start going to the Mosque as soon as possible. I would need a lot of prayers for that. I have been looking for a job that is aligned to my business goal. And there is some hope of getting it inshaAllah. From there i plan to learn things that will be helpful in my area of interest. Apart from that there is also another opportunity of getting a job, but it doesnt align with my career goals, although it is good too. I just pray to Allah that which ever of the two is beneficial for me, i hope i get that, as Allah is all knowing. Iltimas-e-dua for that .
          I will surely perform istikhara and InshaAllah be guided about what field or dream to choose. Thank you for the links.
          I hope i can only grow from here. I pray to Allah that he guides me forward from here so that i never come back.I only want to move forward.
          you have been really helpful and kind. May Allah bless you.
          Looking forward to meeting you again on this forum.
          May God be with you and protect you.

          • Wa Alaikum Salaam Akhi,

            In fact reading from you is very special for me. And only Allah knows how much happy I am, when I read this particular message from you. I am glad to know that Allah is already making things succesful for you. Insha Allah this is just the begining, and we pray that Allah will continue to bless you, and ease things for you till you achieve all your dreams successfully. Ameen.

            What is so nicer than two people (who do not know each other) meeting in the middle of the world, and then getting united by Islam, and then loving each other for the sake of Allah! Isn't this the true love in the sight of Allah?

            Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: ‘Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, - on a day when there is no shade but mine – I shall shade them with My shade.” [Sahîh Muslim (2566)]

            The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Among Allah’s servants are people who are neither Prophets nor martyrs, but whom the Prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with Allah.”

            They (The Sahabah r.a) asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Inform us of who they are.”

            He said: “They are people who loved each other for Allah’s sake, without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth. By Allah, their faces will be luminous and they will be upon light. They will feel no fear when the people will be feeling fear and they will feel no grief when the people will be grieving.” Then he (s.a.w.s) read the verse: “Behold, on the friends of Allah there shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (3527)]


            In fact, I am very happy to know that you are already progressing in your Salahs, Alhamdulillah. Even though you do them at home, but the most important thing is that you do them, Alhamdulillah-I am really very happy about this. May Allah continue to help you sustain them, and may He continue to show you the blessings and benefits in the congregation salahs, and ease the way for you. Ameen.

            Brother, do you remember the Ayah I shared above (Quran 24 Surah An-Noor:36-38)? It's actually one of my favorite Ayahs that usally motivate me to go to the Masjid, and it even motivate me to sit in the Masjid at my free times. Here is the Ayah again recited by one of my favorite reciters (Shiekh Idris Abkar). This is the link here:


            You may also want to listen to the whole Surah An-Noor (Quran 24) here by the same reciter:



            I have been looking for a job that is aligned to my business goal. And there is some hope of getting it inshaAllah. From there i plan to learn things that will be helpful in my area of interest.

            I am so glad to hear this. Insha Allah if Allah make you get the job, it will be a good start, Insha Allah. May Allah make you get it. Ameen.

            Apart from that there is also another opportunity of getting a job, but it doesnt align with my career goals, although it is good too. I just pray to Allah that which ever of the two is beneficial for me, i hope i get that, as Allah is all knowing.

            Alhamdulillah for this one too. Though you shouldn't forget to pray Istikhara for Allah to make you choose the best job. If you get the one that aligns with your career goals, that would be very great, Insha Allah. However, if Allah choose the other one for you, that would also be great - As Allah knows best. However, the most important thing to keep in mind is that, you should never give up on your real dreams, no matter which job you get into. As you said before, "Surely Allah wouldn't have planted those thoughts in you without a reason". That's a good thinking, so stick to it and remember it always.

            There are different ways of seeing visions from Allah. Some see theirs while sleeping, and some see theirs through thoughts. But all are visions from Allah and are achievable Insha Allah, regardless of how long they may take to be achived.

            Have you not considered the vision of Prophet Yusuf (s.a.w.s)? He encountered many adversities and trials on his way, yet he achieved it successfuly by the grace and help of the Almighty Allah. He was putting at the bottom of the well by his brothers, and then Allah saved him by His mercy. He was imprisoned, yet Allah saved him again by His grace. And then when he saw his dream coming true, he said to his father (Prophet Ya'kub-Jacob s.a.w.s), “Father, this is the fulfillment of my vision of long ago. My Lord has made it come true. He has blessed me, when he released me from prison, and brought you out of the wilderness, after the devil had sown conflict between me and my brothers. My Lord is Most Kind towards whomever He wills. He is the All-knowing, the Most Wise.”

            May Allah make your dreams come true Brother, and that of our dreams too. Ameen.

            You may want to listen to Surah Yusuf full recited by Shiekh Abdul Rahman Al Sudais (With english substitute). Think of how Prophet Yusuf (s.a.w.s) achieved his dream, despite the many years and adversities. Perhaps, this may motivate you much to have more patience and hopes, and then have faith in Allah.


            I hope I can only grow from here. I pray to Allah that he guides me forward from here so that I never come back. I only want to move forward.

            Insha Allah Brother, you will grow from here, and move forward and never backwards Insha Allah. I will continue praying for you Brother. Please continue praying for me too, especially after your regular Salahs, and in your extra-night prayers, when you do remember me ok. May Allah bless and reward you!

            Thanks for all your du'as for me. May Allah do the same for you, and more.

            I will be waiting to read from you by the end of December, Insha Allah.

            May Allah make this our meeting a blessed meeting, and make our departure in goodness and free from sins. Ameen.

          • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother, I hope everything is alright with you, InshaAllah. May Allah be with you. Ameen!

  5. Brother,

    Your dreams and desires are still attainable however you just have to work harder for them, it really is that simple. In life when we have hurdles placed in front of us, we just have to strive harder to get over them. You make mistake after mistake because you don't care enough and until you do, nothing will change.

    You tried looking for a job but didn't find one? Look harder. Never give up. There is a job out there for you but it isn't going to come looking for you. You cannot sit on the computer, sleep in or lie about on the sofa. You must get up and get out. You can make it happen...believe in yourself.

    I have three sons mashallah...they are 20, 22 and 25. My 20 year old came to me the other day. I could tell he was feeling down. I asked him what was up and he told me he was just sick of everything. Says he just wants to quit. Ok...then what? I know better than anyone how hard some days can be but the reality is, you can never give up. You keep going, you stay strong and you keep the mindset that things are going to get better.

    You feel that you are in a crisis but in reality, most of us are in a crisis every single day. My son whom I speak of suffers bouts of depression and most likely, you are as well. Listen to your mother and keep your salat. Don't look to make excuses because as humans, we often do...including myself. Be firm and tell yourself, "I am going to do better and I will".

    I do understand that some days are good whilst others are not. Please know that you are not alone in how you feel brother. Everyone that has posted has something of value to offer you in their words. My prayers are with you. God willing a good job will come your way soon (and just for the record, it is never too late to go back to school!)


  6. Assalaamualaikum,
    Thank you for a highly encouraging and motivating reply. I'll try to be more optimistic. I'll pray for your son. May Allah look after us all.
    MAy ALLAH reward you here and in the hereafter.

  7. My name is Saeed and i am single, born in 15th June 1969, loved a girl and still love due to which unable to decide to select anyone else for marriage, she is married to someone else and i am left along, offer my namaz regularly 5 times, her date of birth is 25th September 1983, her parents never favoured me due to which after sending her purpose her parents refused me using ecstatic words with harsh tone, now on regular basis i request my Allah to please help me but looks like now my Allah doesn't accept my dua, and on regular basis i fights with myself sometimes even with Allah (Naouzubilla) (forgive me for all my sins) seems that all restriction for this purpose is from Al Mighty Allah, so now i want a support with Islamic dua according to Quran, even my sister told me recite countless Istagfar on regular basis, i followed it but now my hopes are on declining side, i am afraid that i would loose my faith in Islam and on Allah.
    Please help me as i expects Allah doesn't come down but he nominates his good people to help his mankind,pls do consider it otherwise it would be too late.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      If this girl has now married someone else, sadly it looks as though you will have to accept her decision and try to find comfort by turning to Allah. We cannot give you a dua to guarantee you what you want, but try to find solace in knowing that Allah will have a plan for you, and He is the best of planners. If He wills something to be, then it will be; if He wills that something not happen, then it will not happen. In both situations we should try to say Alhamdulillah, for Allah knows what is best for us in this life and the next.

      Midnightmoon editor

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother Saeed Ahmed,

      As Sister Midnightmoon has said, "We cannot give you a dua to guarantee you what you want, but try to find solace in knowing that Allah will have a plan for you, and He is the best of planners." This is true Brother.

      Do not forget that this Dunya is full of tests, and the only way you can overcome such tests is by having faith and trust in Allah. Have you read anything about Prophet Ayyub (s.a.w.s), when Allah took away everything from him, including his family and possessions? You see how when he continued to rely on Allah, Allah restored his family to him and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Him? This can happen in your case if you put all your trust in Allah and then continue your ibadah. Allah will surely grant you someone better than the woman you have lost, InshaAllah.

      Allah (s.w.t) says:

      "And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord: ‘Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’ So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost) and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all those who worship Us” (Al-Anbiya 21:83-84).

      One thing we should understand is that, we do not worship Allah because we want Him to fulfill our needs. Our intention must be with ikhlas (sincere- wholeheartedly the for love of Allah, and not for the fulfillment of our needs).

      In our daily salahs, we always say to Allah "It is You we worship, and upon You we call for help."
      (Quran 1: 5)

      Some of our predecessors said, "It is You we worship" means to have the real ikhlas in our ibadah, which is to worship Allah for His own sake and not for the sake of anything else. If Allah's test upon us didn't prevent us from continuing our ibadah, then we have indeed achieved the reality of ikhlas.

      And our predecessors have said again that, "...and upon You we call for help." means to have the real tawakkul (reliance on Allah or trust in Him), which is to feel that everything is in the hands of Allah, and that He gives and takes back anytime He wills. If we continue like this without depending on any creature, nor complaining about something dear to us, which Allah has taken away from us, then we have indeed achieved the reality of tawakkul.

      The Ikhlas and Tawakkul cannot be attained except through patience.

      Allah (s.w.t) says,

      “We will certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of possessions and lives and crops. But give good news to the steadfast. Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To Allah we belong, and to Him we will return.”Upon these are blessings and mercy from their Lord. These are the guided ones.” (Quran 2: 155-157)

      According to some of our predecessors, patience is of three stages:

      -1- To stop complaining about any test upon you. This is the stage of the Repentant.

      -2- To be content with anything that has been decreed for you. This is the stage of the Ascetics.

      -3- To love whatever your Lord does with you. This is the stage of the Sincere.

      My Brother, you may want to try going through those stages with good intention, and InshaAllah you will feel okay by the time you are done with the final stage.

      Allah (s.w.t) says:

      "O you who believe! Be conscious of Allah, and be with the sincere."
      (Quran 9: 119)

      "The believers are those who believe in Allah and His Messenger, and then have not doubted, and strive for Allah’s cause with their wealth and their persons. These are the sincere." (Quran 49: 15)

      "Whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger—these are with those whom Allah has blessed—among the prophets, and the sincere, and the martyrs, and the upright. Excellent are those as companions. That is the grace from Allah. Allah suffices as Knower."
      (Quran 4: 69-70)

      “To Allah belongs the future of the heavens and the earth, and to Him all authority goes back. So worship Him, and rely on Him. Your Lord is never unaware of what you do.”
      (Quran 11: 123)

      “…and put your trust in Allah. He is the Hearer, the Knower.
      (Quran 8:61)

      “…and put your trust in Allah. Allah is Guardian enough.”
      (Quran 4: 81)

      “…say, “Allah is enough for me; there is no god except He; in Him I have put my trust; He is the Lord of the Sublime Throne.”
      (Quran 9: 129)

      “Say, “Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us; He is our Protector.” In Allah let the faithful put their trust.”

      (Quran 9: 51)

      Hope this helps InshaAllah.

      • Ass Salam o Allaykum,

        Thanks for responding me otherwise i thought now no one will listen or pay attention to my grievances, you have sent me Ahdis and i agree that its totally depends on Allah and only Allah can sort out my problems, this no one can predict when and how my problems would be sort out.
        Now i would like to ask you that several times Allah himself said ask me whatever you require and don't favour Sin otherwise you would be caught at the day of judgement, now for approx 16 years i am asking him to take some time and bring that girl Mahwash to me for marriage and she's the best among all, there are girls around the world but comparatively she's is superb among all, if Allah haven't written her in my destiny than its a humble request to please consider her in my destiny as my life partner, I assure you i will do my best to make her life happy and through her she will save me from unknown sin or whatever we unmarried mature age man goes through, her parents didn't liked me ever due to i am not within their family, she belongs from Sindhi (Cast) and i belongs from Punjabi (Cast), she belongs from middleclass and i belongs from a bit lower compare to her, looks like the main factor was Class difference, Cast difference, she is quite younger to me, we both loved each other, when i sent my marriage proposal her parents abused me and threat me, what's my opinion is "Allah knew it, what's the gap and where is the lacking, if he wanted me to get rid off my sins and selects a better future than surely he would have helped me, now i sees he (Allah) never favoured it, i don't understand when he will listen or pay attention toward my humble request.
        You would have understood very well that i am dis hearted and only seeking his help to support me in this grave situation, due to this its my request if you have any Itikhara or any such than send it to me or tell me what such Ayat should i recite for his help, I am just wasting my precious time and whenever i offer my Namaz, My brain always says "your prays would never be listen and better don't offer namaz.
        So pls help me its my desire to get her soon.
        I don't even know her where about only her parents family;'s location.

        • Part of the reason why Allah didn't listen to you may be that, you never loved Him. Allah saw that you didn't leave any space for Him in your heart. The girl was the only one in your heart for those 16 years.

          One of our predecessors was asked,

          "What is the greatest work that one can do to get closer to Allah?"

          "He cried and said,"

          "It's for Allah to look into your heart, and then finds that you do not want anything in Dunya and Akhirah except Him"

          Brother, have you ever loved Allah the way you love this girl?

          Have you ever spent sometime thinking of how you love Allah?

          Have you ever thought of how happy you will be when you meet Allah?

          Have you ever thought of how you would want to do everything, just for the sake of your love for Allah?

          Have you ever spent sometime crying for the sake of your love for Allah?

          Now, stop thinking of the girl. It is Allah who created her and made her special. The same Allah has created countless of women around the world, who are even better than the one you have lost.

          Life is too short, so turn to Allah before it becomes too late for you.

          Find Allah and love Him more than anything.

          • When you love something, love it for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of that thing in itself. When you love something for the sake of Allah, you love it because you know it belongs to Allah, and that Allah can take it back at anytime He wills, and you are ready to accept whatever Allah wills.

            So, now you need to build your strong relationship with Allah.

            When you pray your namaaz, allow yourself to feel the love of Allah, and InshaAllah you shall come to feel the love of Allah for real.

            Try to build your level of Ikhlas and Tawakkul, and InshaAllah you shall come to feel your closeness to Allah and His love, which is the Yaqeen.

            After your love side for Allah has been secured, you can then love anything for the sake of your love for Allah, and InshaAllah you will never get lost in any love or be disappointed ever, if you follow the principles very well.

            If you are close to your beloved (Allah), you feel safe from distraction, and from deception.

            When you feel your closeness to Allah, ask your beloved (Allah) anything you want, and He will grant it to you InshaAllah.

            The Prophet (s.a.w.s) said (in Hadith Kudsi): “Verily Allah ta'ala has said : Whosoever shows enmity to a wali (friend) of Mine, then I have declared war against him. And My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more loved to Me than the religious duties I have obligated upon him. And My servant continues to draw near to me with nawaafil (supererogatory) deeds until I Love him. When I Love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, and his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to seek refuge with Me, I would surely grant him refuge.” (Sahih Bukhari)

            Allah (s.w.t) says in the Holy Quran, "Unquestionably, God’s friends have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. Those who believe and are aware. For them is good news in this life, and in the Hereafter. There is no alteration to the words of Allah. That is the supreme triumph." (Quran 10: 62-64)

            Allah (s.w.t) says again in the Holy Quran, “…It is incumbent on Us to help the believers.” (Quran 30: 47)

            However, you must be sincere in your love for Allah first, before Allah will listen to you. If you are not sincere, Allah will decide whether to listen to you or not. But if you are sincere until Allah loves, He will surely grant you any good thing you want, and He will protect you as well, as His beloved servant. This is a promise from Allah, and Allah never breaks His promise.

            Allah says in the Holy Quran: "The promise of God—God never breaks His promise, but most people do not know." (Quran 30: 6)

            Every human being should know where they are in their relationship with Allah by the time they reach the age of 40.

            You are now in your 40s, so be very careful. Don't allow what has happened now to distract you from worshiping Allah sincerely.

            The loser is not the one who loses Dunya, but the loser is the one who loses Dunya and Akhirah.

          • Ass Salam o Allaykum,

            Thanks for understanding my feeling and writing to me, Once my mama told me "Son if you have any problem than ask your Allah for help, I am sure he is for supporting and helping his mankind" this i know Allah nominates his love ones instead personally interacting with people himself, I know as correspondence or chatting between us will surely guide me toward cementing my future with Allah.

            You told me that since 16 years i only loved Mahwash and not Allah, i would say during this 16 years i only asked my Allah to support me and help me with good deeds, I prayed and thanked him around the clock, although having expectation that if I couldn't sort out my problems sure their is Allah (the king of all paradise).

            I don't know you personally but i know Inshallah you will guide me toward right path, now i am distress and annoyed with my destiny, who to blame, where to go, whom to ask, lots of curries, only one feeling i have, when their is no way, Allah is their and its my only faith, whenever i offer Namaz i only thinks that Allah is seeing me and surely he will listen to my desires soon, Inshallah.
            when and how this i don't know, but the passage of time and running against my age, my Allah guided me why don't ask from Allah fearing and his best people around the world, inshallah they may guide me or suggest me what should i do or what should i recite or any istikhara, through this at-least a slight of relief, a relief from Sin what i did in past, to avoid such Sin in future.
            So please its my deepest request and a help from a Muslim brother to send me what should i recite and read to fulfil my desire.

    • Wa Alaikum Salaam Brother Saeed,

      I am not sure about what type of help you are asking for. Are you asking for the girl or for Allah?

      As for the girl, there is no way you can get her back because she is married, and Allah does not like that you are thinking about someone's wife.

      Allah did not create the girl for you.

      Allah will be angry with you if you pray to Him to give you that girl.

      I have NO power to help you get that girl. That is the Will of Allah, and there is nothing you can do about it.

      Are you ready now to say good bye FOREVER to the girl???

      • Ass Salam o Allaykum,

        I am surprised with your answer " Allah did not create a girl for you" well I can't say good bye forever to that girl but at least what i need right now is to develop self power (decision), due to lack of decision power i am unable to make or pursue my mind toward healthier future life, so i requested you as i sees you while chatting a soft heated man, a man close to Allah, a thanks giving man, so its a request to pray for me or send me any AYAT or ISTIKHARA or PRAY for me that i can make decision for marriage, i tried several attempt, even went to Islamabad and adjacent for marriage but always and every times i am rejected, looks like all doors are closed and now no way i sees except asking help from you, what should i do, please do consider it with your wiser and soft decision and request Allah to strengthen me toward making decision ahead.


        • Wa Alaikum Salaam Brother Saeed,

          I am sorry if you didn't get my statement well.

          I did not say "Allah did not create a girl for you."

          but I said "Allah did not create the girl for you."

          We can only discuss about how you can get close to Allah, and about how you can get a new girl.

          • Ass Salam o Allaykum,

            Thanks again for understanding me, now I am sure inshallah i will groom myself as i will get married, you can help me for another girl, please do me a favour along side by side that "i prefer a girl where i don't want to see any hurdles in between such as rejections" you know my age and at this age usually girls looks forward for a handsome, good, rich man, so i prefer whomever the girl would be for marriage shouldn't reject me, accept me becs I just want to get out of sinful life what i am going through, so please send me some Ayat for recitation along with timings at what time should i recite or any Istikhara, do see weather any blockade or errors are occurred in my destiny.

    • Wa Alaikum Salaam Brother Saeed,

      Ok. Now I understand your problem is not the girl, but it's about how to get married right?

      I honestly don't know an Ayat that can make you find another girl. What I know is that, you can get close to Allah and then pray to Him for a new girl for marriage.

      I am not magician, so I CANNOT charm any girl for you. The only thing I know is Allah, and you can also know Allah, just as every Muslim can know Allah.

      Allah is not for some particular Muslims alone. Allah is for every Muslim. It just doesn't make sense that some Muslims will sit there and expect that others go and find Allah and come and pray for them to fulfill their needs. We are all in this life to find Allah for our success and happiness in Dunya and Akhirah. We can never find happiness without Allah, and we can never find Allah except through our sincere ibadahs.

      So my Brother, follow the advice I have given above and you will know Allah. I myself don't know Allah much. I am still praying that I will get close to Him one day InshaAllah.

  8. Salam Bro

    the door of repentance is never shuted down. Go to this door and you will be lucky...
    Here is a poem from Rabia Basri which was the first female Awliya:

    "My God and My Lord

    Eyes are at rest, the stars are setting.
    Hushed are the stirrings of birds in their nests,
    Of monsters in the ocean.

    You are the Just who knows no change,
    The Balance that can never swerve,
    The Eternal which never passes away.

    The doors of Kings are bolted now and guarded by soldiers.
    Your Door is open to all who call upon You.

    My Lord,
    Each love is now alone with his beloved.
    And I am alone with You.

    Rabia al Basri"

    The door is open. Why don't you get in?

  9. Brothers and sisters

    I need your help ...

    [Editor's Note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  10. As salaam walikommy name is yasmin an im 52 years of age.i hav 5 adults children 4 of which was married now divorced one still single an had so many marriage propasal but it all break in dey end.i read alot my quran my salaah but i just seem to get nowere,im hanging in there an not giving up.every year went by an i said that this year will be the year were il see hapiness but the year just goes by an the same old thing reapts over an over children an bad luck in marriages an me im very lonely even though i have a house full of grandchildren an children but everyone s in they own buzz.all my divorced children live with me but they come from work an be in they rooms my husban hardly tawk he comes from work have supper an sleep .i sit alone in my lounge an stare in to open space.coz i have no one to tawk to.i read everyday i even read 41 yaseen every day.i make duaa for my children to be happy an be prosperous,but not one of my kiidscome sit an tawk to me.i love them to bit but they dont seem to see how im hurtin to be all alone even though i have a house full of children an grand husban sleep all the time from work an in the so tired of bein alone.i tried so many duaas an nothing seems to help.i cry everynight to sleep wishi g one day everythi g will be ok.inshallah ameen.has we say we all sinners but i do good all my life.i even ask allah to forgive my sins but i really dont no what i ve done wrong that im being punished.just want to share this coz i have nobody to tawk children not short of love i do everything for them an they kids they come from work have supper an they in they rooms.i wish i knew what i did so wrong in my life that im being never give up my reading.i shallah one day maybe allah will give me tbe hapiness i deserve.
    a lonely mother.
    whos seeking for love from her kids.

  11. salaams brother,

    i dunno if you are still reading this, hope life is well.

    I was in a similar predicament as to you a few months back. I wanted to change the world, I wanted to help people, I wanted to make a difference in this world, I wanted greatness. For people in the coming years to look up to and to feel inspired and to see a person who came from absolutely nothing to being the biggest person on the planet. To feel as if he can do, it means I can, if he can be a good person, I can. If he can get rid of poverty, inequality, and to help everyone around us then it means I have no excuse to either.

    Everything was going well alhamdulillah, I just got admitted into the best university in the world, I was doing stuff in my life, i was meeting some of the most amazing people in my life, being exposed to the inner corruptions of politicians and seeing the fitna around us. All these little stuff was happening that a boy like me should never know about, it felt like I was here for a reason, that I was here to make a difference, I wanted to bring change. That I was special. But then suddenly all in one day it came crashing down. My best friend died, I had just been kicked out of my house and i didn't finish my a level exams because I got very ill and my other best friend stopped talking to me. I felt so ashamed of my self, so ashamed. So I disappeared. I just disappeared, I left this world to understand why everything came tumbling down in one day. To contemplate why Allah subhanallah tala would do such a thing. All I ever wanted to do was help him, to bring change to this world. I ended up going all over the place to survive, i went to spain, france and italy and then to london and then to australia for a bit, then malaysia and then finally of to abu dhabi before making my way back home but no one knew why. Nobody knew where I went for a year I just dissapeared, often wondering the middle of forests at night asking questions, watching the beach for ages hoping an answer would come, looking over mountain ranges just with a glimmer of hope that I would get a phone call telling me everything is now fine and it;s time to come home. Trying to find answers, trying to make things right. .I left because I was so ashamed and hurt about what happened. How could my dad do this to me? How could Allah do this to me? How could the world do this to me?. Alhamdulillah just recently I graduated from another good uni, but not good enough to make a real difference in this world, just good enough to make a living, survive and do your thing you know. I lost a lot of friends that year because of everything what happened, because i was too embrassed to tell them what happened, that my dad though me away. When i got back I just told people i travelled that year-which i did, but no one knew the real reason . &by now everyone moved on with there lives, it's too late to make the deep friendships i wanted with them. Even to this day I still feel ashamed about everything, about what happened but more so about the people I lost. I do find it very hard to talk to people now unlike before. Before I was so happy, very social and very confident (happy with myself) but now I just do my thing. I do feel at times anyone I meet that my whole life is a lie when i talk to them becuase they dont know the real me, they only know the person they see. I have this big secret that no one knows about.

    It was wierd. Allah gave me everything, and then took it all away in one second. Looking back now I feel as if he was showing me something. To humble your self, and that I am not special, I am like everyone else, and to forget about this world and dunya and just pray to him, &maybe making a change in this world is not my responsibilities, it's someone elses or maybe even no-ones. Some things are bigger than all of us and its not up to bring change. It's a shame because I still do think about what could have happened but I am also grateful aswell. That year gave me solace and time to put everything into perspective. &it is something i will always be eternally grateful for. may there be peace with you all.

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